I'll never leave your side
by luv animemanga forever
Summary: Five years after leaving without telling anyone, thinking that he had lost everything, Len once again returned. He then, unexpectedly, bumped into a person who would do anything to give him the happiness he deserved. Soft yaoi. RyoLen.
1. A shatter wish

I''ll never leave your side

_**Chapter 1:**_ A shatter wish

-

-

-

In a mid summer day, when the warm breezes blew softly and came into my room, stroking my hair gently as I lay still, asleep. It was quite a lovely dream, with me and Kahoko hanging out in the amusement park at one time. My dream was cut off by a sound of my phone. Someone was calling, but who could possibly be calling at a time like this. I listened to the music tune closely when I recognized it was the Ave Maria violin duet song. I immediately picked it up.

" Moshi-moshi, Kaho-chan." I greeted, knowing that it was definitely her.

" Yeah, it's me."

" So, what's up? Why are you calling at this time of day? Normally, you'll be asleep right now." I asked, trying to control my voice.

" Well, it's…uhm, can we talk?" She asked sound unsure. I shrugged.

" Sure, of course. What time?"

" I mean, can you go now?" I was a bit confused but agreed anyway. " Then let's meet at the 'usual' place, okay? Ja ne." And she hung up.

I stood up, wondering about the call. If it was so important, why didn't she tell me through the phone. That would be a lot easier, right? I sighed automatically. Even though we have been going out with each other for almost three years, now, still, sometimes, I just didn't understand her way of thinking. Girls. They are strange. But I'm glad that she was my girlfriend, she was the only one who has managed to melt down the ice inside my frozen heart with that genuine smile of hers. That was what I love about her, always so straight forward and loving. Okay, that was enough of that, I need to prepare or else I'm gonna be late.

-

-

I was walking through the park, hand holding a bag that full of CDs, which can use to practice the short pieces in there. Kahoko asked me the other day, now I got a chance to bring this to her. It was in the afternoon, although the black clouds were gathering on the high sky above, making it looked grimy. Nevertheless, far ahead, you could still see the bright sun hung on the sky and some trace of lights. Still good enough for me to meet with Kahoko and have a good time with each other.

The waves of sunlight beamed down as I saw Kahoko stood there next to the sea in the park that we usually hung out with. A mid summer breeze blew slightly as it made her hair looked like crimson silk that flew in the warm wind.

" Kahoko!" I called and waved my hand slightly at her direction and gave the best smile I got. She smiled, too. Although something was different about the smile, it didn't feel as heart-warming as it did before.

" Hi, Len-kun." There was a hint of hesitation in her voice. But I smiled as a greeting for her, too as I always did.

" It's a lovely day today isn't it, Kaho-chan?" She nodded slowly. " Oh, Kaho, I bring you some CDs that might help you with the practicing. I have stopped at the store to buy some other new ones, too. And I chose carefully so the pieces won't be matching each other, don't worry. There are lots of pieces from many famous, familiar composers like Beethoven, Mozart, Chopin,… you know them, right?" I handed the bag to her as she shyly took it and I realized that she too was holding a big bag. " So, why did you call me out for anyway?" I asked. Then suddenly saw that those black clouds were starting to get thicker and thicker as they covered the blue sky.

" Well, I… uhm… I." She couldn't choke out what she wanted to say, it must be something very important if it was this hard. I blinked.

" What is it?" I asked patiently. I've learned this thanks to Kahoko. She taught me to be patient, but somehow, I could only manage to do it when I was around her.

" Uhm…I…" She was still standing there with her face lowered to the ground. " Let's… Let us break up." She squeaked in her throat.

The sun began to set as a thunder stroke. It flashed out a light, threatening to torn the sky apart, a storm was coming. I stared wide-eyed at her. Disbelief. My mouth slightly hung open. I let out a nervous laugh. I know now. It was just a joke.

" Good one, Kaho-chan." I said between my fake liked laugh. " Now, tell me the truth." She shook her head.

" Really, Len-kun. Liked I've said, I want us to break up." She said aloud as my heart skipped a beat.

I looked deep into her eyes, those ' I'm telling you the truth' gazes as they burnt into my mind. She was actually telling the truth.

" Why then?" I lowered my head, suddenly, the ground became quite interesting, I could sensed my emotion started to become cold.

" Well, because…" Then I realized something. I looked up, came face-to-face to her.

" Kaji. It's Kaji, isn't it?" My heart was throbbing inside my chest, as I waiting for her answer.

" Yes." She replied slowly. Her word rang like a bell, played repeatedly in my head. " How… how did you know?"

" I saw you along with him the other day in a coffee shop when I passed by. And I saw you were… holding hand with him, when you were supposed to be practicing with me." My voice was nowhere above a whisper when I came to the last part.

-

_**~Flashback~**_

-

I was walking through the street with the violin case in my hand. Where was Kaho-chan? She was supposed to be at the park two hours ago. I wondered to myself. I've waited for her but she didn't show up, so I decided to go and look for her. The town was full of people as I turned my head left and right, rolled my eyes to look at every shops while I passed by, searching for my koishii. She must be having some sweet with her friends again, that was the only reason why she sometimes late for any of the practices.

I walked and walked, my eyes were trying their hardest to detect any sign of the girl with crimson hair. Then I saw her, in a café shop. I was about to call her but I saw Kaji. He was sitting across from her and they were exchanging glances with each other. However, I could sense it. They weren't just any normal glances, they were full of powerful emotion.

I turned my heel and walked away. I didn't see anything, they were just having a friendly meeting. I shouldn't doubt Kaho-chan. She won't betray me.

-

_**~End flash back~**_

-

Yes, she won't betray, the thought kept on floating in my mind until I became upset with it. And yet, here she is, standing before me and telling me to break up. I sighed.

" I knew this day will eventually come." I murmured and put a hand on my forehead. " But I didn't think it would come this soon." I rolled my eyes once again and fixed my gazes in her. " So, tell me. What's so special about Kaji that makes you changed your mind?"

" Because… because… 'cause he understands me more! He understands how I feel about having my skill always one level lower than my friends, especially you!" She shouted. A shock wave ran through my body. My eyes widened, she really thought that of me? " You guys always move forward so quickly that I can't catch up, at the time, I thought that if I try hard enough I may have a chance but no, I was so naïve. All of you are talented so you have to keep moving or else you may loose your grip, you're not willing to wait for me!" She really thought that? But… " But Kaji does, he is willing to wait for me, to give me a hand and lift me up from the dark hole of despair that I've thought I would drown in there. He helps me."

I couldn't believe my ears. What am I hearing? That I won't help her when she needed? What about all of the practices we did, all the things I've taught her, so she thought all of that were just to… to mock her skill? The entire things I have done just to make her feel that she was lower than us... than me?

" But what about all the things we have done. I've done that to help you! Don't you see?! I was trying to help you."

" I know, but you have always pushed me way over the limit and I tried to do it too, but in the end, you would never say that I was good or anything, only about how much I needed more practices, more power. But I did all of that and still nothing, not even a compliment! And I'm sick of that!" I stared blankly at her.

" Just because I didn't give any comments, doesn't mean that you aren't good. You were slowly got there and I have to admit it. I was surprise to see that you were improving so fast, I was waiting for a chance to tell you! And thought that after you perfected your skill then I'll tell you, so you won't get cocky about yourself!"

" No! No matter what you say, I won't change this decision! I have to say, I love you! But I hate you at the same time. How can you be so good at the violin? Because you have both talented father and mother and you inherited that." Her eyes looked almost watery. " Anyway, take this." She handed me the bag in her hands. " These are the things you have gave me since we became a couple. Now I returned them to you, I think this is fair enough, right? At least I won't owe you anything precious."

Something inside of me suddenly snapped. Who does she think I am? Some kinds of jerk who want to take back everything that he gave his girlfriend after breaking up? I used my hand and to threw that back at her. Everything flew out, including the CDs, the wool gloves, hairpins, a necklace I gave on her birthday and the picture we took in the theme park, all fell on to the solid ground.

" I don't want any." I said in a low and icy voice that I thought I have lost for a long time. " Everything I gave you, I have given a lot of thought when I bought them for you. They came from the heart and I chose them only for you and no one else, so keep them, for old time sake. Or if you like, you could threw them away maybe right now, down to this sea for all I care. But I don't want you to appear in front of my face and gave me back these things." Then I turned on my heel. " Sorry for all of the troubles I have costed you. Goodbye, may you be happy with the man you have chosen."

With that, I walked away, let her stood there as her eyes traced behind my back until I was finally out of sight.

-

The street wasn't that crowded anymore. The people either have gone back to their home to hide the up coming storm or maybe have fled into the shops on the street. There were only a few people left that, included me.

The air felt heavy, thicken with dust and dried leaves. Winds blew harder and harder as I wondered around to somewhere didn't even know. I might as well kept on continued to walk like this without any destination. That would be fun. I smiled slightly at the idea. The sky was getting darker and darker with all of the black clouds gathered thickly. The sea like a mirror, reflected the sky and sadly it reflected my heart right now too, it was dark and cold, sending a shiver down my vein. I sighed and started to go off again.

My mind now filled with thoughts and images about the time I have very much fun with Kaho-chan besides me. Oh, wait, I don't have the right to call her that anymore. Now, there will be another person who will call her by that name. And that person simply wasn't me. Not anymore that is. At first, I never thought that there would be a day that Kaho… Hino and I will break up, that day was only an illusion at the deepest place in my mind. But then she began to ignore my messages and calls and started to come late for practices. That was then I got a feeling that this relationship won't go far. I prayed to God, hoping that it was just a stupid feeling, no need to think about that but I was wrong. The worst thing that I feared the most has come. However, it wasn't that surprising, consider I have saw them together in the coffee shop that day. My heart felt so hurt, and we were going to get marry soon, then again, maybe this was the best, a loveless marriage would only hurt both of us even more.

After awhile, I came to a place that seemed a little familiar, looking up as I realized. It was the ICW Building, they said something about that this building, oh yes they are going to covered the whole building with glasses so it has another name, the Glass House. They were going to finish it anytime now. Then I saw two men carrying a huge glass passed by and they were having trouble because the winds were picking up. Suddenly, a strong wind blew.

_**CLOANG!!! **_

The glass broke. My eyes widened as the fragments flew along in the wind's path.

" Oh my gosh! Someone has been injured! Quick! Call the ambulance!"

" Ahhhhhhh!!!" A scream filled the air and came along with it were whispers, pairs of staring eyes.

I couldn't move my body, a groan escaped my throat. What happened? All of the sudden, everything around me felt really warm. I opened my eyes, I was lying on the ground, with some kinds of strange liquid covered my torso, especially on my left hand. Red. There was red everywhere. Everywhere. Was it my… blood? Then why? Why was bleeding? And there came the whispers, and those pairs if eyes got my attention.

" Look! Is that Tsukimori Len?"

" Yeah. Man, look at him. Poor the guy."

What were they talking about? I tried to sit up but only received a shot of pain ran through my body. I gasped, desperately needed for air. I rolled my eyes from left to right, then they focus on the spot that felt the most of the pain. My left hand. I stared at it, for a minute there I thought I was loosing my mind. My eyes widened in disbelief. What is this?! No! It can't be. No!!! With all the strength I have left, I lifted it up. This was real, it was as real as you and I. I started to shake violently, I could feel my head was going nuts.

" NO!!!" I screamed, held my palm.

Sounds of the ambulance arrived. Men in white came, but the image of my hand then still haunted my vision. I couldn't see anything except for the redness that was everywhere I looked at and all of the remaining glasses. What happened to me?!

_Why does bad things always happen to me? Answer me. Why, GOD?!!_

-

-

-

_To be continued…_

_**A/N:**_ How was that? What do you think of the first chapter? Please review. Thanks.


	2. Insane

_**A/N:**_ This is a story I wrote when I don't have the inspiration to write When the Nightmare Start. This is my first attempt on a yaoi fic. If you have any suggestion about how to write this story or how to improve things in here. Just tell me, I'll try my best to make it better.

Disclaimer: Every character in here are not mine to own.

On with the chapter!

_**Chapter 2:**_ Insane

-

-

-

Morning. Yet again. And I thought that I have prayed to God, hoping that it won't come. But such wish couldn't be fulfill, even so, I kept wishing for the same thing almost every day. Well, better get up and ready for work.

Yes, ready for work. I have a job you know. Playing the piano is one thing but I couldn't just rely on that. I know I know, it was a bit outcast for a famous pianist like me to have a job, but I just only prepared for the future, if one day I woke up and found that I have lost the ability to play the piano then I still got this job to support me right? Well, that was probably the craziest thing you've ever heard of, neh? No one will loose their ability to play something like that, especially when they work hard to have it. For example, Tsukimori Len. Yes, he has talent, got the gene from his otou and okaa-san, but he still worked hard to achieve his goal and that was the reason why he was where he is now. He is at the peek of his career and became Japan, maybe even the world most famous violinist with the total performance of 244 in only two years.

Are you surprise why I picked him to be an example while I hated him so much? Well, first of all, he is the most vivid example anyone could give and secondly the 'hate' part is all in the past. All of the fuss and commotions we costed were mostly over Hino but I didn't get a chance now since they are going to get marry soon, about next month, but they haven't announced that to the public yet. Besides, he and I are all in our twenties now, in fact twenty-three to be exact. So fighting was a childish act.

Okay, enough with that. If I'm not going to go now, I'm gonna be late. A boss cannot be late, can he? And it was my third day as boss, too. Yeah, I got my own office now and I don't really want to loose it now would I? That would be a waste, only a fool would do that.

-

Walking to the office, it was getting a little chilly since Autumn was almost here. Past the newspaper stand, I knew that I was only twenty-eight steps more before I get to my office, until, something caught me eyes. Taking a few steps backward as I picked up a newspaper.

" I'll buy this one." I threw the coins to the paperboy before looking at the picture in the front page. My eyes widened, it was Tsukimori in his on pool of blood and surround him were fragments of glasses. And his left hand! What happened?! I looked as fast as I could through the article to find the hospital he was in. Seiji Hospital! I began to run there, I was glad because the hospital was quite near to where I was. The cell phone in my pocket rang. Damn it! I didn't have the time to be answering it now! Three minutes and it still ringing. Man, who could it be? I picked it up.

" Moshi-moshi. Tsuchiura Ryotaro is speaking!" I almost shouted through the phone. But to my surprise, I wasn't the only who was shouting.

" Tsuchiura! Why didn't you pick up earlier?!" That voice.

" Hihara? Listen buddy. I don't really have the time right now, so can we talk later? I'm on my way to the hospital."

" So, am I. You have read the news then. All of us are heading to Seiji hospital, we'll meet there in ten minutes, okay?"

" Hai!" After that, I hung up. Darn it! I have to be hurry. What did you get yourself into now, Tsukimori?!

-

-

I arrived at the hospital and the other came too. Looking at the door, the journalists were everywhere, trying to find their way in. Now, how are we supposed to get in? As if God had answered my question, Tsukimori's parents came. They were surprise to see us, but gladly to help us in, along with them. Getting through that crowd was tough but we finally out as we began to go to Tsukimori's room. I saw Hino was following closely behind.

" Hey, Hino. Do you know anything about this?" I asked her. But she shook her head slightly.

" No, I didn't. I just read the news this morning." That was weird, at least that guy could have give her a call or something. He knew that she easily got worried or over thinking. On the other hand, maybe that he hadn't woke up, yet.

-

In the elevator, the tension was growing thicker and whenever I looked at Hino, she didn't even look half worried like she used to be when Tsukimori got into trouble before. Something fishy was going on here, I don't know what it is but I must ask her after visiting him, maybe they had a fight. Although, I couldn't just throw my theories everywhere like that, all I could do for now is to wait. However, Hino was standing so close to Aoi that I couldn't help but thinking that there was something between them. Something definitely was going on.

The door opened as we went out and followed the Tuskimoris. We stopped in front of a room, I saw the broad on the door and read it in my mind, _Room 27, Isolated_. Oh, wait. Isolated?! Then suddenly a loud cry coming from the inside interrupted my chain of thought, and it sounded pretty familiar, after that another much more feminine cry followed the first one. Then something flew out, broke the small glass window on the door then crash on the opposite wall from us, it was a flower vase. If I hadn't leaned back just half a second later, that vase would have ended on my head! But based on what I learned in school, vase couldn't just grow wings and fly, could they?

" I said, URUSAI, and get the HELL out of here!!" Another shout came out. Wow, what is going on in there? I peered in and through the broken window, I saw Len sitting in his bed looking almost as if he would bite someone pretty soon. And a poor little nurse who was trembling terribly, stared at him with horror and tears in her eyes.

" Demo..." She squeaked but didn't get a chance to finish.

" I said BEAT IT!!!" The guy roared and made the girl terrified as she swung the door open then ran off.

We stared at the running girl until she vanished around the corner. Then I turned my eyes back to Hamai Misa. She looked as though this wasn't anything new to her.

" This has been happening ever since he woke up after the surgery." She began, lowered her face. " Len has been acting like he has lost mind, throwing stuffs at the nurses and doctors and yelling at them until they got out, after that he just lay down, spacing out and humming something. Look." We all peered into the room and saw that the guy did the exact things that she said he would. He was all-calm now, unlike two minutes ago as he stared out at the window and his lips were twitching slightly as we could hear a small tune came out. Hamai-san opened up the door as we followed in but somehow, he hadn't noticed us. Then, when I listened carefully to what the humming tune was, it was Ave Maria. Turning my attention to Hino, I said.

" Hino, I think, you should be the one to talk to him."

" Me?" She looked surprise when I suggested so. I raised an eyebrow and stared at her.

" Yeah, Hino-chan. I think you should talk to him instead of us." Hihara-senpai added in.

" I think so too, senpai." This was Shimizu's turn.

Hino looked around, then nodded as she went to Tsukimori's bedside.

" Ano... Tsukimori-kun?" What?! She hasn't called him by that name since we graduated from Seiso Gakuen. Anyway, he didn't even answer her just stared blankly to the space.

" You are... blocking the sun. Step aside." The girl just stared blankly at him. " Are you deaf woman? Or are you just stupid?" Tsukimori said in a cold, mocking tongue. I was rather surprised to hear him talked and acted like that to his fiancée. " Come on now, who ever you are, you are blocking the sun and don't you know that it is very rude to do that?"

" What's going on? Why did he say 'who ever you are'?" Hihara-senpai wondered aloud. Then I saw Tsukimori rolled his eyes to look at us.

" Oh, all of you came. So can you tell me, who is this girl? She is annoying me." This wasn't going anywhere. And if we stayed in here any longer, something bad was bound to happen. Therefore, I grabbed Hino's wrist and pulled her away.

" She's a... nurse, and she is concern about your condition so she came to visit." I lied.

" Whatever my condition is, it's none of her business, I don't even know her."

" Well, at least she knows your mother that's why she came, since she is your mother's friend daughter." With that, he just looked me then to Hino, after that he resumed back to the window and started to hum that piece again, as though nothing happened.

We went outside as I asked Hamai Misa to follow us. Closing the door behind me as I turned my eyes on the woman with blue hair in front of me along with questioning eyes.

" What's wrong with him?" I got into the main problem immediately.

" The doctor said that he is in a state of shock and denial. That's why he is acting like this, he doesn't accept the idea that his hand is damaged. His mind blocked away the memories about how the accident occurred. But he'll remember eventually."

" Then why didn't he remember Hino, his own fiancée?" I didn't understand why I felt so... so furious at the time.

" I... don't know."

Something in my mind when snapped. I didn't know why though. Then I found myself storming out off the hospital. I was so angry, but I couldn't figure out why. Why did I feel so angry? I sighed, calling for my assistant and telling her that I'll be coming to the office now so prepare. So, we came back to this point, neh? Work.

-

-

_Four days later..._

-

Sitting in my office as I leaned against my chair and pillowed my head on my arms. I haven't visited Tsukimori since Monday, the other has been visiting him as much as they could for the past few days, they've asked me to join them but I turned them down every time. It was just that, like a part of me refused to face him. The poor guy, all of that talent was wasted. He was so upset about it that he tried to deny the truth. I could understand why, but what I didn't understand was that why did he forget Hino? She didn't have anything related to the accident now. Or... _did_ she? My mind was clouded, too many mysteries, and not enough clues. I sighed. This was going nowhere, the more I think about it the more I couldn't understand, it as just making things worse than they already have. My cell phone suddenly rang as it cut off my thoughts.

" Moshi-moshi, Tsuchiura is speaking." I answered the phone.

" Hai, this is Hino." Oh, it was her. She sounded happy, even though her boyfriend was in the hospital.

" What's up, Hino? Got a problem?" I asked, pretending as if everything was normal.

" Uhm, we're planning to go and visit Tsukimori-san this noon. Would you like to come?" So it's Tsukimori-_san_ know.

" No, I'm busy." I answered immediately like a machine.

" Oh, it's that so. What a shame." / " Kaho-chan!!! Hurry up!" A voice suddenly interrupted, a male voice actually. I frowned. " Oh, wait a minute. Sorry about that. Well, like I've said, what a shame. But try to go some other days, alright?"

" Okay." I could feel that my blood somehow was boiling as I hung up right there and then without even saying good-bye. The grip of my hand on the phone was so tight that my palm sweated.

I growled in my throat, I recognized that voice now, it was Aoi's, for sure. They were being quite close together now, Hino and Aoi, they were acting like a couple. This made me mad, could Hino forget Tsukimori that fast and fall to another guy already? She began to date that blonde just right after the accident. Doesn't she have any dignity at all? How could she be so heartless. But then again, maybe I was misunderstanding them both. Maybe, but they seemed so close together that I couldn't help to think like that. But there is always the possibility. I don't know, something fishy was going on here, and one way or another I'll find out. Now with Tsukimori in the hospital and all...

Wait! Why am I think about them, about that guy so much? This was none like of my business, like what Tsukimori would say. Why should I poke my nose into other people's business anyway? If they found out about this, they'll think that I'm a busy body. Maybe, I shouldn't really get into this mess.

-

-

I got out off work early today. Thank God for that, I'm almost as worn out as a piece of paper after you crumpled it for a five times then soaked it into water. I looked at the watch on my wrist. Six fourteen in the evening. Still very early, so where should I go? With that question in mind as I got into the car and drove away from the office. Turning on the radio, it was the news.

" Yesterday, an accident occurred at the ICW Building construction side, two workers were carrying a glass but due to a strong wind, it broke as the fragments fell onto Tsukimori Len, the famous violinist of our country and the whole world as well, who was passing by..." I didn't want to listen to it so I turned the radio off. The things I heard and saw the other day were already enough.

Driving through the street full of people and cars, I didn't have any destinations at all. Just driving blindly ahead, and then, before I realized it, by some strange reason, I was in front of Seiji Hospital. I was a little surprised but then I told myself, well you have came all the way here, then what the heck, just go in.

After parking my car in the parking lots, I walked into the hallway, which was filled with patients, doctors and nurses as I got into the elevator. Room 27, when I as about to knock the door then a doctor along with a nurse came out. They were sweating and looking quite irritated.

" Excuse me, doctor. Tsukimori, the patient in this room. Did something happen again?" I found myself asking.

" Well, we were trying to bring back the memory for him by talking about it but he told us to go out and shouted at us, he was almost out off control although, I gave him a shot so he is resting right now. He seems determine not to remember about those memories. However, who could blame him, it was too much." With that, he walked away. I opened the door to come in. The guy was lying there, eyes half opened, the shot must be affecting him. I approached him slowly as he turned his face toward me, there were some new bruises on his face and arms. They did more than just giving him a shot. I gritted my teeth and tightened my fists. Then I noticed that he was still staring at me with a puzzle look on his face. I managed to give a smile and pulled a chair to sit on the side of his bed.

" Ohayoo, Tsukimori." I tried to sound as delight as possible. " Gomen-nasai, I haven't visit for a while. Daijobu desu ka?"

" Hai, daijobu ka... Tsuchiura..." He sounded quite sleepy now.

" Humh?"

" Do you have... a twin... brother?"

" Nani?" I was confused, what was he talking about?

" Because there is an identical person who looks exactly like you is standing next to you." I chuckled slightly then laughed. He was so sleepy that he his eyes couldn't keep steady, the medicine was making his brain loose its focus. Tsukimori was frowning irritately.

" Why are you laughing?" Well, I guess that he couldn't loose his personality.

" Because you need to sleep, very badly. Go to sleep."

" No." In addition, his stubbornness as well.

" Just go to sleep." I stood up and switched off the light.

" I don't want... to. Besides, it's not my bedtime yet."

Sitting back to the chair, I looked at him awkwardly.

" What? You still have a bedtime?"

" Of course. If anyone wanted to accomplish something, then that person needed to organize the things he wanted to do into the list and then planned ahead. Or else... that person won't... succeed..." His voice traced off as his eyelids closed.

I watched him lay there, sleeping as the blanket on top of him raised and fell evenly. Now that I got a chance to look at him closely, the only thing I could describe about him was that he was covered with lots and lots of bandages. The glasses must have cut him badly. My eyes traced down and finally came in touch with his left hand. It was completely bandaged up, but then I saw that the thing was starting to wet with blood. Oh, no. I went over there, I knew that I was right.

Taking off the thick layers of bandages, I could see all of the remaining scars from the surgery, I used my fingers to touch his palm, it felt so stiff, his fingers couldn't move that properly like any normal person would and even though I touched the part where it as bleeding, I noticed that he didn't flinch an inch. I guess that he couldn't feel this hand of his at all. Searching inside the drawers, I found some fresh bandages, after that using some warm water in the thermos bottle on the desk and slowly cleaned his wounds. It took a while to finish, since I was being extra careful, I didn't what it to be infected, that would make everything worse than it already was.

Leaning my back against the chair to rest for a bit as I took a look at the watch. What? A quarter to eight? Wow, it took me longer than I thought. Well, I should be getting back now, or else I'm gonna starve to death. I took a last look at Tsukimori, he was still sleeping soundly. That's good. When I was about to stand up, something held me back.

" Huh?" Turning back, I saw that _he_ was holding my hand. " Tsukimori?" I blinked.

" Don't... go." He murmured, half asleep.

" Let me go Tsukimori."

" No... don't go..." It was a loose grip, I could have managed to pull away easily but when I looked at his eyes, those amber eyes were determined but they have a hint of desperation, too. " It's... cold and... lonely being in... here all... by myself." He was almost begging, the pair of sad eyes were still staring at me. My heart twisted when I heard the words slowly slipped out from his mouth. " Please... Kahoko... don't go... don't leave me alone... I know that... I was wrong... so please, forgive me..." With that, he fell asleep, again. Forgive him? What has he done to Hino that he has to apologize even in his sleep? Whatever it was, I think that she herself need to sorry him, too, being all close and friendly to Aoi. It bugged me to see them that close. I sighed.

" Well, I'm not you 'Kahoko', but I'll stay, who knows what you would do after you woke up if I left? So, you owe me a thank you, pal." I pulled the chair closer as I sat down. He still had his hand on me. I could easily move it away but when I remembered those words and that pair of eyes staring at me like that, I didn't have the heart to. So here I am, sitting in a wooden, hardly uncomfortable chair, with a guy which was asleep, holding my wrist. Well, I have decided to stay so I may as well bear it till morning. Man, my back is gonna hurt like hell tomorrow.

-

-

-

_To be continued..._

_**A/N:**_ This is it for today's chapter. I know that it is a little short, it actually longer, but I think I'm gonna safe all of the excitement for the next chapter. Please review and tell me how you feel about this weird story of mine. Ja ne!


	3. A silence scream

_**Chapter 3:**_ A silence Scream

-

-

-

Yawning as I awake slowly. Ack! Kuso! Just like I thought, my back was as stiff as a stick and it was killing me. Tsukimori was facing me, still hasn't woke up, yet. Well, it was half an hour away until seven and the medicine yesterday must be heavy, too, besides, he _is _a heavy sleeper. So I can't blame him. Looking down to my wrist, I saw that he had let loose of me in the middle of the night. That's good. Then, I heard my stomach grumbled, I hasn't eaten anything since last night. No surprise that it was shouting for me to get some food.

I was wondering what food should I buy for Tsukimori, I figured that he would be hungry, too. A sunlight beamed down into the room through the glass window as it caught my attention. The light was covering Tuskimori's bed with he on it. He looked like he was glowing, shining under the sunlight like a special jewel. The guy stirred slightly as he starting to open his eyes and sat up slowly. A cool wind blew into the room and his hair flew as he using his hand to rub his eyes. The sight somehow gave me a feeling of astonishment. It felt like I was in an Eden, watching a God waking up after a long time from his deep slumber and surround him was lots of beautiful flowers.

" Tsuchiura?" I snapped out from my imagination. " Why are you standing there for?"

" Well, I came here last night to visit you, remember?" I could feel my face was hot.

" Of course, I do. I'm not stupid you know." Back to his old self again.

" I... I fell asleep after you did. So here I am." I laughed nervously, hoping he'll believe, but half of it was the truth, though.

" You're a baka you know. Falling asleep when you came and visit somebody."

" So what? I could sleep anywhere I want, it's none of your concern." I fought back.

" You are right. It is none of my business." And he replied me with the same 'I don't care' tongue as he normally would.

" I'm going to buy something for breakfast. What do you want to eat?"

" I'm not hungry." But his stomach betrayed him by grumbling slightly as he wrapped his arms on his belly, blushing with embarrassment.

" You aren't, but your stomach is. Now, tell me, do you want to eat or not?" I waited patiently as Tsukimori rolled his eyes to look at me then nodded. " Alright, that settle it. I'm going out to the store to buy food, the hospital's food isn't that tasty right?" I waved my hand then closed the door behind me. I remembered seeing a food stall nearby, so maybe I should go there. Yeah.

-

Okay, so I got soup, bread and milk for Tsukimori and three sandwiches for me. Well, I don't know what the guy wanted to eat (forgot to ask him) so I just bought something easy to swallow. With the bag full with food in my hand as I walked back to the hospital.

When I was about to open the door, I heard someone was in the room, a female voice spoke up, sounded quite familiar, it must be Hamai-sama.

" Len, are you feeling any better?"

" Hai. Much better, now." I heard him replied stiffly.

" That's good to hear. Would you like me to get you something to eat?" She didn't prepare when she came? It was a minute before Tsukimori answered.

" Iie, a friend of mine came to visit and he has gone out to buy food a while ago, he probably be back any time now, so I don't want to waste his or your effort."

" Oh, how nice of your friend to come and visit you. Well, I'm going out for little bit, now but I'll be back. Rest and have fun with that friend of yours." Then I heard footsteps coming toward the door as I stepped aside.

Hamai-sama came out as the door closed with a slight click. She noticed me right away and smiled at me.

" Good morning, Tsuchiura-kun."

" Hai, good morning, Hamai-sama." Somehow I was a bit nervous. So she knew that I was standing here the whole time. " I'm sorry. I didn't meant to eavesdropping on you, it just that..." I didn't get a chance to finish.

" Not at all. You don't have to apologize, I know that it was merely an accident." Then she looked at me. " So, you are the one that came and visit Len today. Thank you for caring so much about my son. He is not a very expressible person, but I have to say, he does look more delight this morning than usual. Thank you again, Tsuchiura-kun." She bowed her head.

" No, no! You don't have to bow like that, it's really nothing. I'm glad that I could help him and all. I'm sure he'll recover quickly enough with you and his father beside him all the time, Hamai-sama." Suddenly, the woman's expression turned sad as her eyes looked away from me. I was confused, what was the matter with her? She was happy and all but two seconds later she was sad. I didn't understand. " Ano... daijobu desu ka, Hamai-sama?"

" Hai. It's just that... his father and I won't be around much to help him recovers." She said in a low and quiet voice.

" What do you mean by that?"

" You see, an urgent business occurred just last night, they want us to perform a concert in place for Len and we couldn't refuse. After pouring most of our money for the German doctor to perform a surgery on Len, we don't have that much money left. And if the concert couldn't succeed to be proceeding, we have to bear half of the dept and that would be too much..." Tears were beginning to form at the corner of her eyes. I sighed. Sometimes, I was too nice for this twisted humanity.

" Uhm... Ano... would it be alright, if I took care of you know Tsukimori, while both of you gone?" I asked slowly, I could feel that my face was burning hot.

" Oh?" Her eyes shone as she looked brighten up. " Really? Would you really do that for us?"

" Well, I did offer the help, right? So of course." She held both my hands and the bag of food almost fell out of my grasp.

" Thank you. Thank you so much, Tsuchiura-kun. We'll be in Paris for one week, then we'll be back as soon as possible." I smiled then shrugged slightly as she wiped her tears away and both of us returned to the room.

Tsukimori was sitting there, with his eyes wondered out off the window again.

" Hi! I'm back with the food!" I raised my arm up which as holding the bag. Hamai-sama helped me to prepare the food on a tray and gave it to Tsukimori. After that, she told him that his father and she will be quite busy with some business so they won't be able to visit him for about a week then left. I understood why she didn't tell him about the details, if he found out that he was the one who got them into situation like this then who knows what he would do.

Eating the food I bought, I was almost finish my third sandwich, but Tsukimori was hardly touching his food at all. He just sat there and stared at the bowl of soup that even a sick man like himself could have finished it easily.

" What's wrong? You aren't eating." He looked up.

" Nothing is wrong. I just don't feel like eating." He answered fakely.

" Liar. You are hungry, your stomach is grumbling."

" It is not!"

" Something is bothering you, isn't it?" Bozai! Right on the spot. " What is it?" It took a while until he looked up to face me.

" Okaa-san, something is making her worried." I was surprised. " Maybe is was because of me that cost her to worry."

" Iie, of course not. Like she said, she has something to..." I as cut off when someone knocked on the door. " The door is unlock, come in."

" It's me Hino again, Tsukimori-san." She said cheerfully. As if she was happy because he has forgotten her. " Oh! Tsuchiura, you're here, too. I'm glad that you finally decided to go and visit Tsukimori-san." She smiled, that somehow annoyed me, a lot. The girl was hold a bouquet with cheap flowers as she placed it in the _new_ vase. Tsukimori said something about hating the color of red so they replaced it with a white, decorated ith cheery blossom one. " Well, since you are here, maybe I should get going."

" Why in a hurry?" I asked, eyeing her.

" I have a very important appointment that I couldn't miss."

" More important than your own fiancé?" She stared at me, dumbfound. I have touched the touchy part.

" I... have to go now. So ja ne." I knew it, I was right. She was frightened by the question, I could see it in her eyes. It was too obvious. She ran off and closed the door. I turned my attention back to Tsukimori.

" What do you mean by fiancé?" It was his turned to question me.

" Nothing, it's just a joke. Well, it seems that you are really not that interested in eating at the moment. So why don't we go out for a while then eat later." He looked at me, then back to the bowl of soup, after that, he nodded.

" Great!"

I went over at the corner and pulled out a wheelchair, Tsukimori grimaced when he saw the thing.

" Before you say anything like 'I can walk myself' I would have to say, no. You can't walk by yourself, not yet anyway. You're still looking pretty pale to me, so just do what I say okay?" I stated the matter of fact, his eyes grew widened as he stared at me.

" Hai." He uttered the word out a few seconds later. As I helped him got onto the wheel-chair, we exited the room.

-

Getting out off the elevator as I pushed him through the hallway. People were starting to recognize us as they began to talk. What a bunch of nosey people! We slowly headed out to the garden to get some fresh air.

" How are you feeling?" I asked.

" Better."

" Staying in that smelly room all day must be very tired, neh?"

" Yeah."

" Why are you only answer me with only one word?" I eyed him as he glared at me, man, that guy still got that glare of his.

" Because I have nothing else to say."

" Fine, fine. Anyway let's go to the other side, agree?"

" You are the one who is pushing, not me."

" Why are you being so grouchy all of the sudden?"

" No I am not. It's just that you are being stupid. Asking questions that you obviously already know the answer." Okay, he was right. I _was_ really asking pretty dumb questions, wasn't it. I sighed.

" Gomen-nasai."

" At least you still know how to apologize." He mocked me with a smirk on his face.

" What do you mean 'at least'?!"

" I mean what I mean. If you don't understand, then it's your fault for not being smart enough."

" What did you say?!" I shouted.

Then suddenly, I saw his smirk disappeared as he looked at something ahead. I looked up to find that it was Hino and Aoi. And they were... kissing each other, passionately on the lips. What the heck?! Oh, no. What about Tsukimori? He has lost his memories about her, maybe he won't mind. But I was wrong. Terribly wrong. I looked down at him. The guy's eyes were widened, expression of disbelief crossed his face. I saw his lips twitched.

" Kahoko..." Kuso. This was not good, not at all. Tsukimori used his hands to hold his head as he shook violently as he lowered his whole torso down.

_**AHHHH!!!**_

He screamed and fell down to the ground.

" Tsukimori!" I shouted and shook the guy. "Are you alright?! Talk to me! Tsukimori!" He was murmuring something.

" Kahoko... and Aoi..." Hino and Aoi have noticed, too as they ran to our place.

" We better get him back." I slit my arms under his knees and back then lifted him up. " You go ahead and call the doctor, alright?" They nodded and ran as I followed behind. Tsukimori was trembling badly in my arms, as I embraced him closer. _' Hang in there, Tsukimori.'_

The doctor and nurses rushed in after I lay him down to the bed, he was still holding his head tightly. They tried to gave him a shot, but the guy just kept on struggling, he was too frighten at the moment, with the shocking scene, the memories, I couldn't blame him if he was panic since with all the people surrounded him. They came to the last resort, violence. The doctors bound him down to the bed as he struggled to get out from their grasps. But to my surprised, they hit him harshly on the face.

" Urusai no!" One of them shouted. Something in me snapped as I ran to them.

" What are you doing?!"

" Please, go out and let us handle the rest."

" No! With that kind treatment for a frighten patient of yours, I won't be going anywhere!" I rushed and pushed them away from him. " Stay away!" I gathered him in my arms. Tsukimori was trembling terribly.

" Go away. These images, go away..." I heard him squeaked weakly inside his throat.

" It's okay, Tsukimori. Everything will be alright. Now, look at me. Look at me." I used my hands and forced him to look at me. When he finally did, those frightened eyes stared into mine, pain, sorrow, desperation and fear were mixed together in that amber eyes of his as I gave him a smile. " Listen, everything is gonna be fine. Trust me. Okay?" He nodded slightly. " Now lie down." He did what I said, thank goodness for that. After that I told them to get out off the room, all of them, including Hino and Aoi.

Now, there was only Tsukimori and I in the room. I sighed then turned my eyes to look at him again.

" How are you feeling, now?" I asked.

" Fine." He answered without even looking at me. Yeah right, fine he said. He did seem fine, that was only mere the eyes though, when my eyes traced down, I saw that his hands were trembling as they clutched the bed sheet tightly.

" I know that you are lying."

" No, I'm not." He protested weakly. I bit my lower lip then snatched his hand into mine.

" You called this fine?" I raised our hand up, I knew that he tried to press down the pain. But... " I know that it's hurt, but you can't hide it from me."

" I'm not hiding anything. And I don't know what you are talking about."

" Then explain why did you scream when you saw that Hino and Aoi were kissing each other in the garden?" His face when pale as he withdrew his hand away from mine, I realized that I have over done it.

" I... I don't know who are they, that K... Hino girl nor the Aoi guy. I don't know either of them." He tried to find his way of escaping this conversation.

" Well, if so then why did you almost call that 'Hino girl' Kahoko?"

" You are wrong! I didn't call her Kahoko."

" Don't lie to yourself, when you saw that they were kissing, you remembered everything. Am I right?!"

" No! No you are not!" He used his hands to held his head again. " You are wrong! I don't know them, what they do is none of my business." I grabbed his shoulders and shook.

" Listen Tsukimori. I don't know what happened between you and Hino, whatever it is, I don't care. There's only one thing that matters here, that you need to move on! Stop denying the truth."

" What truth? I don't understand what are you talking about!"

" The truth? The facts that your hand is damaged and your little girlfriend had ditched you, are the truth!"

With that, he just stared at me, I could see fear and pain in his eyes. He was so afraid of the truth, his past that he even tried to block those horrible memories out off his head. But that couldn't continue any longer, sooner or later the time will eventually come , the day when he has to accept everything and live with it. And that time has come. I sighed, looking at him now make me so angry that I want to find that Aoi guy and punch him in the face. I let go off Tsukimori.

" I... I'm sorry." Slitting my fingers through my hair as I looked away. " For saying things like that. I shouldn't poke my nose into your business."

" No." I received a weak answer from him, as I turned to look. " I should be the one to say sorry. I wasn't thinking straight, my apology."

I sighed again, then took a good, long look at him. Going toward his place and patting on his back as he looked at me with an awkward look in his eyes. I smiled.

" C'mon, man. Cheer up. Don't look so down, there are like a billion girls out there who are drooling for you, so get over yourself, it's not like women are a rare specie or anything right?" I saw him smiled lightly, or you could say he just lift up the corners of his mouth for a brief moment. " Hey, eat your breakfast." I touched the bowl of soup I bought ealier, and it was as cold as ice. " Okay, stay there, I'm gonna go and warm this up for you, so wait. I'll be back in a flash."

With that I went out, closing the door behind me, I sighed then inhaled in as much oxygen as I could. The intension was growing in there and I couldn't take it anymore. How could a normal guy has such painful life? Bad things happened when he is at the peek of his career as well. Darn it. I cursed under my breath as I walked along the hallway.

-

-

" Why did you do it?" I asked, looking at the red haired girl sitting across from me. We were in a coffee shop. " Why did you have to leave him like that?" I began.

" He told you, neh?"

" No, he didn't. I'm not a baka you know. By the way you and Aoi were kissing each other in the garden the other day was already enough for me to tell."

" Then why did you call me to go out here today?"

" Because I want to know why. Why is it that you dump him like that? Don't you see that you can't ask for a better man then he is?"

" Sorry but I don't want that kind of man. Kaji-kun is the fittest for me and I should have known it from the beginning. Good thing that Tsukimori-san and I haven't announce the marrige, yet." I clenched my hand into a fist. Calm down, Ryotaro, this is not the time for you to smack her in the face. Not yet. I told myself as I managed to control my body.

" How long have you been going out with Aoi?"

" Half a year."

" For that long and you have to wait until now to tell Tsukimori? Right just after he said he was about to propose you?" My blood was boiling up.

" Well, I couldn't work up the courage to tell him before that. But that's over now, I have finally cut up my tight with him and in the mean time, found out a man that I could love, trust and teach me to improve my music."

" So you think that Tsukimori didn't have what you require? He's better than that Aoi guy you know, he cares about you so much that he willing to do everything for you, even smile in front of a crowd even if he doesn't want to just because you told him to! He would do anything for you!"

" I don't care, all I know now that I love Kaji-kun and that's all there is to it."

Something inside me snapped as I slammed my hands down to the table and stood up, at right that moment, the waiter came out with our order.

" Sir, please calm down. You are disturbing the other guests." He said with his hand hel a tray of my black coffee and her orange juice. An idea shone in my mind as I snatched my drink from the tray.

" How much is our order?"

" Uhm, 750 yen, sir. Let me write you a check."

" No need." I pulled out my wallet an gave him eighty hundred yen. " Keep the change." Then I turned my attention back to little miss stuck-up.

" Hino, let me ask you this. Who bought you that nice outfit you are wearing?"

" Kaji-kun, of course."

" Is that so? Well, what's the material?"

" Silk."

" Good. Very fit for a woman, but you know that silk has a weakness that, when it has been stained, it won't come off."

" That's why I have been ver careful with it. At any rate, what are you talking about, Tsuchiura-kun?"

" I see that you have keep that outfit vey carefully."

" Obviously. It's my treasure."

" Well, not anymore, Hino." I held the cup in my hand and spat the coffee right into her as drops and drops of the black coffee dripped down, soaked her clothes entirely, Hino was staring at me with widened eyes. " Excuse me."

I walked out off the coffee shop calmly as though nothing happened, despite the fact that the 'coffee girl' was yelping like a dog behind my back and I was getting really annoy.

" Listen, you, really I don't how do you think you could wash away all of your sins in one life time, but one thing, never again will you ever touch Tsukimori. I went out and slammed the door behind me.

Walking on the street, I gritted my teeth tightly as I sank my hands inside my pockets. Damn. I cursed under my breath, that bitch! And I couldn't believe that I once like her as well, I thought that she was nice and all, I guess I was wrong. Now, she finally revealed her true form. Hino no kitsune. Kuso.

-

-

-

_Three months later..._

-

-

Everything was going smoothly, Tsukimori's hand was getting better, although, the doctor said it'll only heal 80% at the most, but as long as he could still use it, then it's fine. And this morning he'll be discharge from the hospital. He seemed happy about that, saying something about how he disliked the smell of the place and its food.

I was driving to the hospital, as I parked my car into the parking lots. I don't know what's on his mind these days, but one thing for sure, he looked happier than before. I just hope that he had left the whole incident between him and the kitsune behind. Hope so.

Going along the hallway as I knocked on his room's door.

" Come in." I opened the door to come in and saw that Tsukimori was packing a few of his clothes.

" So how are you today, Tsukimori?" I asked as he looked up.

" I'm feeling fine. Good actually." I laughed.

" Because you're going to kiss this place forever right?" He nodded as I laughed even more then went to his place and patted his back. " If you're that eager, then let's go."

" Hai."

I signed into the paper and put down the pen. All done, now Tsukimori is free to leave this place. And yes, his parents aren't coming, because they have another concert to fill in the place of their son. So I'm in charge of him for now, since they are, at the moment, half a planet away from here. I went to the waiting bench and signed Tsukimori to follow me. The guy was right behind me as we walked to the parking lots but first we have to go through the garden first. I didn't want to, but I really have no choice, there was only one way to get there. I noticed that his expression shifted, but just a brief second later, he went next to me.

" Where are my parents?"  
" Oh, they have another concert. Really now, audiences these days ask too much from them. Making them go all the way to Rome." I shook my head pretending to be disappointed. But the truth is that I was lying out off my teeth, well the part that they have a concert in Rome was true, but by audience requests? No.

" Honto? They are awfully busy these days, neh? Unlike... me." I looked at him then sighed as I put my arm on his shoulder.

" What are you talking about? Enjoy this freedom while you still have it. Sooner or later, you'll have to work again, and when that happened, don't expect to have any vacations at all." He looked at me then suddenly smiled. My eyes widened, and I could feel that my cheeks were so hot. Was I... was I blushing? But I couldn't help it, because I have never seen him smile before and he was so beautiful... no his smile was no, no, ahh, what am I thinking! Uhm, never mind.

After telling him to close the door, I started the engine and drove away. On the way, neither of us spoke a word.

" I'm gonna take you back to your house, okay?" I broke the silence as he looked at me and nodded.

" Yeah, I don't have anywhere else to go now do I?" With that he fixed his eyes back to the window.

-

-

Tsukimori pulled the key out from his pocket and opened the gate. We went in and came to the living room, the whole place was empty, no one was there. Tsukimori sat down on the chair as I did the same.

" Well, thank you for everything you have done for me. And sorry for bothering you, Tsuchiura."

" What? Because I took care of you? No need, that's what... friends do to each other." I didn't know why, but somehow the word friend was stuck in my throat like it didn't want to come out. I searched my eyes around, then back to him again. " This is such a big house, even I don't know what to do if I'm all alone in here. So, why don't you let me stay here for the day. What do you say?" He just stared at me with a puzzle look on his face.

" Ano... Do, do you have anything to do?"

" No. C'mon it's Sunday. It's not like my staffs want to work on Sunday anyway."

" Then sure. Why not?"

" Good!" Suddenly, I heard the door bell rang. " I'll get it. Just sit there and rest."

I went out of the room. Who could it be? I wondered to myself as I looked outside.

" Mail delivery!" Oh, I opened the door. " Konnichiwa. I have a card for Tsukimori-san." I took the card, thanks the guy and went in. Who sent this? Whoever it was, they must be having a wedding soon, since the card was bright red. Then, I realized something, no, it couldn't be.

" Who is it, Tsuchiura?" I was startled and hid the thing behind my back immediately.

" Uhm, some guy got lost and asked for direction."

" Oh, it's that so. And I thought I heard the mail delivery guy was calling."

" No, no. Next-door, he called your next-door neighbor."

" Honto? Anyway, what are you hiding behind your back?" My eyes widened.

" No...nothing, I don't hide anything." He frowned irritately.

" Then show me your hand." I showed him my free one. " Both of them." I sighed heavily then showed him the red card, there's no way I could get through without him knowing, his eyes are too sharp. He snatched the thing from my hand and opened it. A few seconds later, his eyes widened as the grasps on the card tightened and shook a little, then looked up.

" It's an invitation to Hino and Aoi's wedding." I was right.

" When?"

" Next Saturday, 6p.m at the Palace Restaurant." He answered, using his normal tongue but somehow it has a cold hint in it.

We went back to the living room and for the whole time, I was trying to avoid the subject about the red invitation and so did he, but what made me think was that Tsukimori was acting like his normal self, he didn't show anything that the called upset or anything like that at all.

At dinner, I made Shabu-shabu since the beef I found in the fridge was pretty nice, and I thought right away that it'll be the best kind of meet to use in a beef hotpot and I was right. Tsukimori helped out a little with chopping the vegetales, but I have to admit, he really is horrible at cooking, he even used a knife like a sword or something.

" You really should study kendo you know." He looked at me with questioning eyes.

" Why do you say that?"

" Because you used a knife as if it was a sword, but you were looking pretty good I have to say." He frowned irritately as I laughed. " C'mon, let's just eat."

We talked during the meal, not a lot but at least we did have small conversations with each other. But my mind wondered off somewhere else. Why did Hino sent Tsukimori that invitation for? Did she want to make him suffer even more? That girl, she overdid it this time. Darn it. Man, how I want to bunch into something so much. But I can't do that, I was washing the dishes and if I broke something, Tsukimori would kill me.

" Tsuchiura, tonight you'll sleep in my room okay? And I'll be in my parents' room." I nodded. " Go upstairs, turn left, the one with blue door. Mine is on the opposite." With that, he went out.

" Hey, where are you going?"

" To sleep. What do you think?" I nodded as he closed the door behind him. Putting the last dish on the shelf. I tried my hands and looked up to the clock, 7 p.m. No one sleep this early. He was lying for sure, since just a few months ago, I came to visit him, it was over seven, and he said that it wasn't his bedtime, yet. What a bad liar!

Turning off the light as I went up to the room with blue door and opened the door. The place was quite spaces or is it because it was lack of furnitures? Maybe the last one seemed like a better explanation. With a single bed, a desk, one closet, a music stand and the violin case, outside was the balcony, that's all there is to it. And everything was neat, unlike...my room. I scratched the back of my head and looked around as I settled down onto the soft bed, I have to admit that the bed sheet and the pillow have a strong scent of Tsukimori, the mixed between the smell of shampoo and slight cologne. Somehow, it gave me a very nice feeling of comforting and calm. I closed my eyes but then the snapped open again as I sat up. I'd better check on him. I thought to myself then went out, quietly sneaking thrrough the hallway, following the direction he gave me before. Pressing my ear against the door, I didn't hear anything, maybe he went to sleep like he have said... No way. Only a child would ever belief that. Slowly opened the door as I peered my eye through the small gap, the room window was opened, letting the silver moon light in and Tsukimori was sitting there on the bed with his arms stretched out on his knees and the card was in his hands. His face was lowered as the bans covered his eyes. Everything was still and quiet. He wasn't doing anything, just simply sat there, in the same position, he didn't even flinch an inch. But somehow, my chest felt so painful and heavy, because, every time I looked at him I could see the scar in his heart was visible in front of my eyes and even now, the wound is still bleeding. Although, he always acts so normal like nothing happened at all, yet, now when he's sitting there like this, I feel like I could hear a silence scream come out from his body. Cracked and broken. A chill breeze blew in, he lifted up his head as his gazes traced outside the window, looking at the moon. Then I saw a single tear slipped down his cheek quietly, dropped down and shattered like crystal...

-

-

-

_To be continued..._

_**A/N:**_ Long update. I know, I'm sorry I was trying to finish my other story and type this one as well. Anyway, please review. Thanks.


	4. Farewell

_**Chapter 4:**_ Farewell

-

-

-

" Hey, are you... are you really gonna go?" He asked as I looked at him irritately.

" How many times do I have to say, Tsuchiura? The answer is yes."

" Are you out of your mind? She meant you no good by sending that damn invitation, why bother go?!" I looked at him from the corner of my eyes.

" I want to. I just like going to weddings." He glared at me, half hearted.

" Oh, do you now? Do you know how bad of a liar you are?"

" What do you mean?"

" C'mon, you know yourself better than anyone else that you hate parties." I sighed, rubbing my temples. He was giving a headache.

" Urusai no!" I shouted as he stared at me, with disbelief and some parts, terror in his eyes. Realizing what I have done I looked away and closed my eyes, letting out a frustrated sigh.

" Goman-nasai. I...I just..."

" Then I'll go with you." My eyes widened as I looked at him. " Look, there's no way I'm going to let you go there alone, okay? So I'm tagging along, I don't care whether or not ou like the idea but I won't back out no matter what you do or say, alright?" For a while there I just stared at him, speechless. I was about to tell him not to do so, but when saw the determent look in those eyes of his. Something inside of me just gave away.

" S...sure."

" Then it settle. I'll be here at 3.30 p.m on Saturday to pick you up."

" It's not like I don't have a car you know."

" But I'd like for us to go by my car." I opened my mouth to protest but he cut me off. " No argue please. What I say is the law."

" Speak for yourself Tsuchiura."

" Anyway, let's go and have breakfast. I'm starving!"

-

-

Tsuchiura left, by my request. I needed some times alone. Sitting in the living room doing absolutely nothing with a steamy cup of tea on the table. I didn't think of anything for a while, leaning my back against the sofa as I closed my eyes.

_/ So many people were there in the theme park, but somehow I have never lost my sight of her, she was like a dot of light in the midst of darkness. She was so real, so vivid in front of my eyes, wearing a summer dress with the soft color of cream which made her hair look even brighter, brighter than ever. I raised up my hand, trying to reach out for her. She was laughing with her beautiful voice._

" _Kahoko." Her name slipped my lips as she turned around to look at me and smiled gently. She kept on running as I chased after her. Step by step, somehow, she just got further and further. _

_When I finally get a hold on her shoulder, she turned to look at me again, the scenary changed, the sun was setting and we were in the park next to the seaside. Aoi was standing next to her, Kahoko looked at me coldly._

" _Go away. I don't love you anymore, Tsukimori." /_

My eyes snapped open as I gasped, my heart was going on a race. Slitting my fingers through my sweat soaked hair as I sighed. Those images from the nightmares I have been having just kept on coming back into my mind. It wasn't like I didn't have enough trouble already.

Standing as I took a glass full of water and drank it all then went back to my parents' room, needed to make the bed and dust a little. In the time I waited for my hand to be healed, I should only do light things with it, and dusting is what I do for now. This place wasn't that dirty to begin with but still, at least I got something to do instead of doing nothing for the whole day. Between the books onn the shelf, I saw a pice of paper peek out. I pulled it out and looked at it. A flight to Rome, to the theater... Oh no, this can't be. So th reason why mother and father went to so many concerts for the passed few months was because of... me? If I didn't go to the concerts then our family won't have enough money to pay for all of the concerts. I crumbled the paper I my hands, I could feel my heart twisted inside my chest. Just because of me...

" Kuso." I hissed between my teeth and slammed the door closed as I went out, back to my room.

-

-

_Saturday, August 5..._

-

-

I'm wearing my best tux here, the shirt with the color of coral, a black vest, matching pants and shoes along with a wine-colored neck tie. Comping my hair and giving it some gel then sprayed a bit cologne onto my wrists and the back of my neck. Standing in front of a mirror I checked once again on my outfit and how I look. Fine I guess. I looked at the watch on my wrist, 3:20. Tsuchiura will be here soon, better get down. I told myself as I went out, grabbing a box with white wrapper outside on my way out.

Five minutes to go, as I sat in the living room and waited for him. Sipping the last drop of tea then went to put it in the sink. I'll wash it later, that was what I had in mind. Suddenly, I heard a loud horn outside, it must be him. I went out, locking all the doors and gate. A black car was waiting out at the front gate with Tsuchiura who was wearing sunglasses, peering from the window as he waved at me.

" Yo, Tsukimori! Konbanwa!" I nodded and opened the door to get into my seat, which was next to him.

" You're 30 seconds late." He looked at me irritately.

" Well, I'm _sorry_ for being 30 _seconds_ late!"

With that he glared at me, but it disappeared as fast as it came then he started the engine and drove away. We didn't say a single word, not until he broke the silence.

" What's with the fancy tux? It's not like you're going to your wedding or anything."

" One's must always dress in proper clothes wherever they go and on any occasions." I replied simply.

" Yeah, yeah. Those boring lecture again, I should have known."

" Then why bother asked?"

" Is that for _them_?" I noticed that his gazes were focus on the box besides me as I nodded. After that, I heard him sighed loudly and heavily.

" You are _too_ good sometimes."

" Maybe..." I whispered inside my throat then turned my attention back to the sceneries outside.

-

Palace Restaurant, a very big place, which was only meant for rich people. So Aoi must have been planning this for a long time. After finished parking the car we went out, many guests were already there. Suddenly, a memory swept through my mind.

_/ We were inside the living room, I was reading music sheets with a cup of tea in my hand then all of the sudden a magazine blocked my sights as I jerked up. _

" _What? What's the matter Kaho-chan?"_

" _Let's make our wedding here!" She almost shouted with delight filled her voice._

" _Where?"_

" _Here, on the magazine!" She pointed at the big picture on a douple-page. " At the Palace Restaurant!" I stared at the picture for a while, then turned back to see her big, warm and happy smile. I sighed in defeat._

" _Sure." /_

" Tsukimori! Tsukimori!" I turned around.

" Nani?"

" Are you coming or not, if you don't then just stand there spacing out for all I care." I realized what I just did.

" Gomen-nasai." He went to me and patted my back then smiled brightly.

" No need. Now come on in!" After that he lowered his face and whispered into my ear. " Don't worry. I'll never leave your side." I looked at him with my eyes widened as he pulled me on the wrist. What he just said was... not-at-all-normal, but somehow, it soothed my soul very much. It made me feel more confident, somewhat much better than before.

" I announce you two are both husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Aoi lift up the white thin cover as... Hino's face revealed ad they kissed each other passionately. They must have loved each other so much, Hino and Aoi. And I was just a third person that stood in their way.

_/ " Hey, let's play bride and groom!" She smiled at me._

" _Bride and... groom?" I was confused._

" _Yeah! We are going to get married soon, so why don't we practice first? Then we'll do exactly what we did here." /_

I gritted my teeth slightly as I put my head on my palm, trying to control my emotions. I could feel that my heart was twisting inside my chest, slowly bleeding. But I told myself I should forget all about that, I was happy, at least I got to see Hino wore her special wedding dress and be happy with her husband, now. Aoi and Hino, they made a great match. Yes, they do.

The couple went out to the entrance, as Hino was passing through me, between that three seconds, her eyes leered to look at me, filled with disgust and amusement then looked away instantly. My eyes widened a little, but that was to be expected. I sighed heavily, better give out the present then go home, no one wants someone they hate to show up in their special day and ruin their fun.

" Ano, Tsukimori?" I turned my eyes to see that the guys were staring at me, I could see that they were looking at me with pitiful eyes.

" Oh, konbanwa, mina-san." I gave them a forceful smile.

" How are you? I'm sorry I wasn't there when you discharged out off the hospital, in fact we all are." Hihara-senpai said with an apologetic voice.

" Iie, I'm fine, no need to trouble yourself."

" Demo, it was kind of surprising to receive the invitation from Hino and Aoi instead of...you."

Like a thousands of needles pinned into my heart, I didn't answer as I looked away. Not that I don't want to answer, it was more like I can't and didn't have anything to say, not at all.

" Gome-nasai! I shouldn't have said that!" Then I saw that Kanazawa-sensei hit Hihara on the head hard. I smiled a little then stood up.

" I better get going, ja-ne mina-san." With that, I walked away.

Outside, the newly-wed couple were taking their pictures with the 'honor' guests. I waited for a few more minutes as the last photo was taken. I went to them and they didn't look that happy at all to see me. The invitation was just a prank, telling me to back-off and stop following Hino since she was about to marry someone else other than myself, they didn't really expect that I would be showing up here like this today.

" Ohayoo, Tsukimori." The blonde greeted me with a slight hint of annoyance and a murderous look in his eyes. I swear that if this wasn't his wedding day along with so many guests, he would have wrecked me up into pieces already. And I could see the same, yet lighter sensation coming from the bride.

" Gomen-nasai, I know that you are busy but I just want to give you a present for this special of yours." The crowd was starting to speak, since they have finally recornized who this pathetic looser was. I smiled and handed them the white box. " I know this is a small gift but please accept it." I smiled again then it seemed that something has snapped inside Aoi's head.

" What do you want?" He almost shouted.

" I just want to give you a gift, that's all." I said calmly, realizing that the groom didn't want anyone to mess with him or his bride at all.

" Kaji-kun, you don't have to be work-up over such trivial thing, anyway, thank you for the present, Tsukimori-san." Hino stepped out to settle everything as she took the box from my hand. I took a chance and whispered into her ear.

" Now, I don't owe you anything anymore." Her eyes widened as she stared at me. But she'll get what I mean soon enough. " Well, if you excuse me, I'll be taking my leave now."

I walked away, not even once did I look back. Sinking my hands deeper and deeper into my pockets as I went to the parking lots. Tsuchiura was already there, leaning against the tree with his car right besides him. He looked at me as I went toward the car.

" Finish?"

" Hai."

We drove back home and this time not a word was spoken along the way, it was a mist of silence. I stared at the scenery outside like what I've done last time, but I didn't think of anything in particuliar, my mind was blank.

" We're here, Tsukimori." I was startled for a little as I turned to look at him. Suddenly, I felt a warmness rushed into me by the hand. Tsuchiura was holding my hand as he replied me with a determined look then smiled.

" Like I've said, I'll always be here for you. So don't you worry, everything is going to be fine."

I stared at him with my eyes widened, a very strange, awkward feeling went through my body that somehow made my heart feel so warm, it was like some unknown force was protectting my from all of the pain and suffering in this world.

I looked away, there's no such thing as an unknown force. I told myself. But deep down somewhere, I knew that I have felt it, right there, even though it was just a brief moment. I withdrew my hand then nodded as I opened the car's door and went out, before I closed the door, I took a look at him again.

" Thank you. For everything that you've done for me. I'm very greatful. Now, good-night." I bowed my head then went in, I didn't even give him a chance to say anything back to me at all as I closed the gate.

From the small gap of the window I saw the car drove away slowly as I let out a sigh then threw myself back to the bed. I put my hand to cover my eyes, I felt so tired, it seemed that a headache was coming, need to go and take my medicine or else my hand will take serious consequences. And I don't really want that to happen.

After doing that I went back to my room then opened the drawer as I saw a picture in there. A girl with crimson hair, wearing a dress that I bought for her and she was smiling. This was taken about two months ago and now, after all of this time, I finally realized how fake the smile was. I immediately closed the drawer then sat back down onto the bed. Suddenly, I heard laughter of a girl, very cheerful as I looked up. She was there, in front of my eyes.

'" Len!"'

" Kahoko?"

'" Am I pretty in the dress?"' My eyes widened, am I losing my mind? '" C'mon now, Len. I'm asking you, so at least say something."'

" Yes, it suits you. You are very beautiful, wearing that dress." I reached out my hand, I wanted to touch her, to feel her warmth on my flesh. But when I do touch her, she slowly faded away. " Kahoko." It was just an illusion, created by my mind to deceive me. It was only an image, just an image. Yet, my feelings back then weren't an illusion, they were real. So real, so vivid.

I broke down on my knees. I tried hard to forget the pain that was choking my heart. But it still remained, right there, lying heavily on my soul, tormenting me. Why? Why can't I forget?! When will I escape from this horrible nightmare?!! I couldn't breathe, and everything was burning, liked I have been devoured into a world that knows only pain and suffering. I gasped, trying to get some air into my lungs.

'" Are you alright? You seem to be in pain. What's wrong?"' That voice and the same image appeared, again. My head was hurting.

" Go away. You are not real. Go away!"

'" What are you talking about? I'm real, very real actually. Because you and I are the same, we are one, since after all, you create me."' That wicked smile curved its way onto her lips.

That night, a scream was heard coming from the house of Tsukimori. A very bitter and sorrowful scream that wrecked the atmosphere into the dark night.

-

-

Ryotaro

I was on my way to Tsukimori's house, it was six in the morning but somehow couldn't go back to sleep. Because last night, I dreamt about Tsukimori and he was in pain, very much in pain as he screamed with his hoarse, cracked voice. I was worried so I decided to go to his house to check on him. Last night wedding wasn't the best one ever. He was controlling himself well, Tsukimori I mean. If it was me, I doubted that Aoi's face will be so happy, not at all.

Almost there. I thought to myself, everything seemed kind of peaceful, maybe I was wrong to be over work-up like this. Although, it wasn't until later when I found myself looking at a thick trace of black smoke on the sky and it was coming from his house! Kuso. What is that baka doing?! I fastened the speed and hurried to his house.

Practically jumping out of the car as I tried to open the gate. It was locked! Hard to figure. I sorted things out by climbing on the wall, lucky for me, my jump wasn't that bad. When I got inside the smell of burning ashes covered the whole place, it almost choked me. Then I saw him, standing beside a big fire, he was burning something. My eyes serached around until I saw something. It was a picture, of him, standing besides _her_! So those are... I saw Tsukimori turned around, he only seemed to notice me now. He turned to look at me. His thick hair was all messy then I saw tears slipped down from the corner of his now dimmed, reddish eyes and a smile appeared on his dried lips.

_A painful and bitter smile that carved into my soul forever._

-

-

-

_To be continued..._

_**A/N:**_ Sorry for the long wait, I was a little busy with my homework, so sorry again. This won't happen again, I'll try my best to update soon. Anyway, how was the chapter. Please review. Thanks. Bye for now! ^_^


	5. Lost

_**Chapter 5:**_ Lost

-

-

-

I sat on the couch, after drinking a sip of tea, I put the cup back onto the table and resumed my glance back to where it was just a minute ago, on Tsukimori. He was sitting opposite me, leaning against the couch with his white shirt all covered with the grey color of ashes.

" What were you doing?! Trying to burn yourself aive along with this house or something?!" I shouted furiously at him. The guy just looked at me then said.

" I was just burning some old stuffs that are no longer in use." He replied simply. I clenched my fists, man how I want to punch at something or maybe someone at that moment. I knew full well that he was lying out off his teeth but, really now, I couldn't just keep on shouting him about that since those things that he burnt was hers I didn't mean that he doesn't have the right to do that but...

" Nevertheless, you shouldn't do that so close to the house, darn it! You could have burn the whole thing!"

" It's not like I'm going to burn your house or anything." That answer of his pushed me to the limit.

" You baka! It's not the house that I'm worried about. It's you! You could have seriously get injure!" My eyes widened, realizing what just slipped my mouth , I settled back to my seat. Tsukimori's expression wasn't better than I was, he was quite surprised as well, then I saw he turned his face away. For awhile, neither of us spoke, an atmosphere filled with silence, and the tesion was developing.

" Sumimasen." I looked up to look at him. " Sumimasen, Tsuchiura." He said quitely. I couldn't believe it for a brief moment there, Tsukimori Len, the all mighty Tsukimori was apologizing, to me! I saw the hint of guilty in his eyes which made my heart softened. I sighed. Really.

" No need. Just that, promise you won't do anything like that again, alright?" I asked as he nodded slightly. That's good. Then I realized something. " Hey, why are you rubbing your left hand like that? Did you burn it?!" He shook his head.

" No, I haven't taken the medicines for this morning, so..."

" Say no more. Go up stairs and take your medicines, please! Then go down here to eat breakfast."

" You're not the boss of me." He stubbornly replied.

" Just be quiet and do what you were told!" I started to push him toward the stairs.

" Demo..."

" Don't you 'demo' me! Just go already! Or else I'll give you burnt omelet. So behave." I teased as he looked at me with an amusing look.

" You won't dare."

" Try me." He looked at me for awhile then turned away.

" Fine. I'll go."

I let out a sigh then smiled. What a stubborn guy! And his name supposed to have the meaning of Moon, poets always wrote that the Moon has a gentle silver light, that embraces everything after night fall. The silver part, yeah, maybe but 'gentle and embraces everything'? Oh, please. Tsukimori wasn't anywhere near that. I laughed slightly. Although, he was special. Much more special and unique than that. Of course.

" Done yet?" I heard he asked from the stairs.

" I'm not a super human, okay! But almost! Just a few more minutes!" I shouted back.

" Sure! Want some help?" My mind suddenly replayed what happened when I let him helped the other day as a chill sent right down my spine.

" I...Iie, no need!"

And for the followed weeks, everything was fine, nothing special happened and that was the end of that, of Tsukimori's misfortune that is. Or so I thought.

-

-

_A month later..._

-

" Moshi-moshi." Tsukimori answered the phone while he was in my car. We just finished shopping for groceries for the next week and we were on the way back to his house. " Hai, it's me. How are you, mother?" Oh, so it was Hamai-sama. " Sure, I'm fine. Oh, about that, Tsuchiura has been helping me out lately, with the cooking I mean. I'm planning to tell him to quit his job and become my chef altogether."

" What?" With that he let out a small laugh.

" Please, both of you, I'm just kidding." As he continued to laugh for the next few seconds. He has been happier recently, he was in a better mood than before, that was for sure. Tsukimori began to smile and laugh more, which made me very glad. I was trying my best to help him to get rid of the dark past and that seemed to be working.

" What? You'll be back tomorrow? That's good then. When? Alright, 5 o'clock in the evening. Do you want me to go and pick you up?... oh, no? Sure. Alright." Then he turned to take something as he put the earphone on and said. " Mother wants to talk to you." As he put the earphones into both my ears.

" Moshi-moshi, Hamai-sama." I greeted.

Hello, Tsuchiura-kun. I just want to say that I thank you very much for taking good care to my son while I am absent. I never heard him spoke with such a delightful voice. Even as a mother, I have never made him that happy before.

" Iie, please don't say that. As a mother you've done much more than I did. And as a friend I just did my best. But for what he acted today was because of his own effort. So don't thank me."

My, my. Quite a speaker now, aren't you, Tsuchiura-kun.

" Anyway, I heard that you'll be coming back tomorrow at 5 p.m right?"

Yes, the concert had finally ended. But did Len notice anything?

" No, I don't think so. Anyway, this _is_ the last one right, Hamai-sama?"

Hai, and I'm glad that it is. Finally I could go back and have some time for Len. Well, thank you again for taking care of him for me. Eventhough he's talented at music but he certently not that good at household chores. Both her I laughed slightly.

" Yes, you're right. But was my pleasure." Indeed it was. But that couldn't last long. Since I know that you'll have to return someday. I couldn't have him forever. Shitaka ga nai... Oh man! What am I thinking!

Well, good-bye. I'll be seeing you and Len tomorrow, alright? Good-bye.

" Hai, good-bye." With that she hung up as I pulled the earphones out off my ears and returned them along with the phone to Tsukimori. Len, neh? I want to call him like that too, when I think about it, calling him like that made me felt like he was so close to me, like Hamai-sama, she called him like that and it sounded so easily, so smooth.

" Len." I whispered the name in my throat.

" What? Did you just call me?" He looked at me with curious eyes.

" Eh... I did? I mean, I did! It's just that... uhm..."

" Spill it out, Tsuchiura."

" Uhm... Can... can I... call you... Len instead of you know, Tsukimori?" There was a long pause as he looked at me with an expression that I could not detect, it was mixed feelings.

" Sure. There's no harm to it now is there. Although, on one condition." I held my breath, waiting for him to speak. " In return...you have to let me call you Ryotaro." What? That's it?

" Of course!"

" Hey, hey. Don't get too excited about this okay?"

" Hai. Anyway, what do you have in mind?"

" About what?"

" Your parents' return tomorrow, of course." I stated out the matter-of-fact.

" Well, I don't know, maybe I think that I could make something for them." He said with a thoughtful look on his face.

" Like cook?"

" Hai."

" You. And cooking. I don't really know how exactly could I put that together. Look, face it, you can't cook." Another fact has been laid out, displaying to the world.

" I know. So I'm gonna need your help."

" See, all you have to is... What?! Since when did I get my face into your family's picture?"

" But, you know full well that I couldn't do this alone."

" Suit yourself, buddy. I can't help you this time, I got work tomorrow." He looked at me for a brief moment then turned away, letting a sigh.

" Fine. I'll just try something else." He sat there then stared out the window, his mind wondered off somewhere. Looking at him now reminds me of the time when I drove him back to his house after he discharged from the hospital, things that happened so long ago just felt so vivid like they had only occurred yesterday. His face now was much better since he has put on some flesh rather than back when he was still in recorvery.

Letting out a sigh as I wondered to myself. Why am I so soft sometimes? Yeah, I have been asking myself that for quite awhile, now.

" Hey." I called. " Tomorrow. Before your folks get back... I'll help you to prepare." His face brightened up almost immediately.

" Honto?" I nodded. " Arigatou...Ryotaro." I looked at him, the name just came out of his mouth so softly, giving me a feeling like we have been calling each other like that for a long time already.

" No problem, Len."

-

-

_Next day, two o'clock in the evening..._

-

" Thanks again for helping me like this." He said with a small smile on his face.

" Thanks to you, I have to skip half of my ship to get back on time! Man, I'm so not gonna keep this boss position for too long now, am I."

" I said I'm sorry. Or you can just go out and get back to work. It's your choice." Still managed to keep his cool, but in his voice there was a slight hint of anger.

" No way, man. After all the trouble making the excuse that 'Oh, my poor mother is sick and she's in the hospital'. I'm not gonna turn back now, that's for sure." He looked at me as I did the same then I pulled him into the kitchen. " C'mon, stop standing around. We don't have much time left!"

Displaying everything that we need for shabu-shabu ( Len chose it ), first, I egan to wash the beef then the vegetables. Then I'm going to slice the beef and his job is to chop up the vegetable into fit-to-eat size.

-

_Fifteen minutes later..._

-

" Oh, c'mon! Stop chopping them like they are wood or something! You're practically slaughter them, not chopping!" I shouted, c'mon now. Shabu-shabu wasn't that hard, but when you're in the kitchen with only two people and one of them doesn't even now how to make a bowl of instant noodle, then it is! " Do it like I told you! Half a circle!"

" Urusai! I'm trying my best here!" Sweats rolled down from his face, bitting his lower lip as he wiped them away. I sighed, putting down the onion I was peeling and went to behind his back then put my hands on his as I gave him a 'close' example. It couldn't be help. I wondered where did he put his intelligent before going to the kitchen with me.

" Do it like this. With your hand on the vegetable and the back of your thump faces with the edge of the knife like this, this will help to lessen the possibility of you cutting your fingers. Then gently move the knife up like this then descends it down into half a circle. Then we're done. Easy?"

" Sure. Easy." Came his reply as he did what I just showed him, slowly.

" Look. I'm sorry for losing my temper like that. I didn't mean it."

" No, it's okay. It's my fault for not understanding what you meant." I patted his shoulder slightly.

" Everyone is the same. No one can master anything they only just try for once or twice. Learn from mistakes, right? So don't worry." I gave him a big smile as he nodded. I returned to my peeling and kept my eyes on him at the same time. He was getting a hang of it, although, he still handled the knife quite roughly. But that's okay. Like I've said, learn from mistakes!

-

_Two hours later, 4:15 p.m..._

-

Putting the pot in the middle of the table with the vegetables and beef around, finally the special shabu-shabu set is done!

" Wow, I'm quite impress. Somehow you manage to cut yourself only twice this time around. Congratulation!" Eventhough it made the whole progress went over the normal time of making one.

" There's nothing to be celebrating about." He said coldly.

" Aren't you gonna thank me, your teacher?"

" Yeah, thank you for scolding me like a low life."

" Hey! I was trying to help." I protested.

" Just kidding. Thank you, Ryotaro, for helping me." That's better, I thought to myself as I grabbed my coat.

" Well, then my job is done." I stood and heading to the door.

" Where are you going?" I looked at him then shook my head.

" Really. This is your family's reunion. You can't afford to let an outsider like me to step in and ruin the fun, can you."

" But, it's fine. Mother and father will be thrill to have you here."

" Don't you remember, Len? I'm not a part of your family."

" Then stay as a friend. Stay as a friend that I've invited over to help and now for all of his good work and effort, I'm telling him to stay here and have dinner with us. It _is_ appropriate, right?" I sighed. I loose to him again. Man, that tongue of his. He could really be quite fruity when he wants to. I nodded then turned my back to went back in. Then I realized something. There was no sunlight. How strange. I took a good look outside from the window after I got back in. The whole sky was covered with black clouds, and the layers were getting thicker and thicker.

" Seems that it will rain, soon." I was speaking both to myself and to Len, too. He nodded and turned his attention back to the clock. And it was half past four in the evening.

" Hope they'll be back soon."

-

It's ten past five already and my parents haven't returned, yet. Thunders were striking non-stop, although a single bead has not touch the ground. I sighed, looking back at Ryotaro who was sitting there on a couch, I managed to persuade him to stay and have dinner. This set of dinner was mostly done by him so he at least deserves to have a taste of it. My gazes fixed back outside the window, the views reminded me of that day. That fateful day, my left hand was beginning to ache. A storm was coming.

I stood up, to take my phone. No missed calls nor messages. I sighed heavily as I put it down onto the table and sat down onto the couch, across from Ryotaro. Five thirty, and nothing happened yet. Another thunder stroke loudly and seems that it finally decided to rain.

-

After twenty minutes, the rain still fell heavily on the roof as the winds howled through the trees' branches. I was feeling very worried now. It's almost six now and they weren't back, yet. Len opened the phone for like a thousand times and like any other times, nothing. I sighed again, then looked over at him and he was looking as depressed as ever with his gaze fixed on the clock, then noticed that I was staring at him, he turned to look at me as I threw him my coat.

" Wear it. You're shivering." He gave me a small smile. Then suddenly his phone, for the first in this afternoon, it rang. Len's eyes widened as he grabbed the phone and answered it.

" Moshi-moshi, oukaa-san?" I was waiting for the news from him. " Oukaa-san? Are you there?" He was beginning to sound kind of panic. What was going on? " Please, answer! Oukaa-san! Otou-san!" He was desperated. Then a loud sound came from it, his mother had hung up. I could see that his hands on the phone were shaking like crazy as he threw it onto the couch and ran off.

" Hey, Len!" I went after him. " Where are you going?!" He didn't answer, his mind was completely focusing on something else. He put on his shoes, and ran out. What the heck was he thinking?! In this kind of weather? The rain was still pouring outside. I have no choice but to run after him.

For a guy like him, he ran quite fast. I recalled never seen him playing any sports at all. I chased him for awhile until I saw him stopped at the corner of a road, staring at some unknown thing that was in front of him with wide eyes. I stopped as well, when I turned to look, like my heart skipped a beat. A taxi was crash against the street light, blood was everywhere. And I saw the broken cellphone and... Hamai Misa was lying lifelessly on the ground on a pool of her own blood. Oh God, what happened?

" Outo-san, okaa-san..." Len whispered as he went to her place. I tried to stop him, but I couldn't move. Slowly, step by step, he approached her body and bent down. " Oukaa-san..." She lifted her up in his arms. Then she stirred a little.

" Len...?" I was so surprised tthat she managed to speak. " Is... that you?" She was bearly alive.

" Yes, it's me, oukka-san."

" Good. At least I...get to...see you... for the last time."

" What are you talking about? You gonna be okay. I'll bring you to a hospital, right now."

" No..." She shook her head. " It's too late. But... Len, try to live... live everyday to the...fullest of your ability, alright. You must...live...Len..." And just like that she spoke her final words to him as her life sadly slipped away just in a brief second. Len stayed quiet for a few minutes, then he suddenly shook her.

" Oukaa-san, you shouldn't be sleeping in the rain like this. You'll catch a cold. Let's go inside." His voice was cracked, so weak, so shaky. " Oukaa-san, please." I went to him and put my hand on his now cold, wet shoulder.

" I've called the police. For now let's stay back and let them handle the rest."

" But she's still asleep. Let me wake her up first."

" Len, she's...no longer here."

" What are you talking about, she still here. See? Right oukaa-san?" He protested weakly.

" Stop it. You know full well that she is..." What am I suppose to say to make I less painful than it already was. So I decided to just tell the truth. " Your mother is dead Len. She's dead." I tried to make him stand up but he snapped my hands.

" No! Don't touch me! You're talking non-sense!" I used my hands to pull him away. " Let me go!"

" Please, Len. Listen to me. She's dead. So please, let her go to the other world in peace. If you won't do it for my sake, than at least do it for hers. Let her died in peace, Len. You have to listen to me! I know it's hard. I can feel the pain you are feeling right now, but just let her go. Len!" He kept on struggling in my arms, calling to his mother.

In a stormy night, with rain like pouring. Two tanlented musicians have left the face of the Earth. Left behind their son all alone, who was desperately needed to feel the love of his mother and father once again. But now, the only thing that he could ever feel was grief and despair as he shouted, calling out for his long gone parents.

" _Outo-san! Oukaa-san!!!"_

-

-

-

_To be continued..._

_**A/N:**_ This chapter has more conversations than usual. But it took me quite awhile to find the right word to write. Anyway, how was it? Please review, thanks. See you later.


	6. Sever

_**Chapter 6:**_ Sever

-

-

-

I let the funeral parlor took care of everything about the preparation and the only thing I have to do now is worrying about the invitations. I don't even know that the Tsukimori family has any relatives or friends or anything. And with Len in the state he is now, I doubt that he would remember a thing to tell me, or even if he did, he won't tell me anyway. I sighed. I guess I have to do the unavoidable thing. I must go into his parents' room, hopefully there'll be something like an address book to help me.

I slowly opened the door and took another look around before I went in. Closing the door behind me, the room was quite spaces with only things which were about music. I searched around. In the drawer? No. The closet? No. I sighed, maybe this family really doesn't have any friends or relatives at all. Then when I was about to go out, I saw a picture on the desk. It was taken when Len was still a child, his parents were still so young, and they were standing on a hill with green field and behind was a large lake. They looked quite happy, but now... I looked down onto the ground. The memory of the other night came rushing back to me right on the spot.

-

_**~Flashback~**_

-

" _Outo-san! Oukaa-san!!!" Len shouted as he desperately trying to get out of my grasps, but failed. I heard small sniffs came from him as he started to tremble badly. And something warm dropped on my hand. It was his tears that mixed with the rain, they slipped down and shattered like crystal. He slowly broke down on his knees with his hands holding his head._

" _Ahhh!!!!!" He screamed out and slammed his arms against the ground. And from afar, I could hear the sound of the police cars coming._

-

_**~ End of Flashback ~**_

-

And since then, he locked himself away inside his room and refused to eat anything, and that has been going on for three days already. I sighed, again. My eyes fixed on the picture again, then I saw something behind the frame. It was a notebook with all the phone numbers and addresses of everyone they knew. Okay, I'll start with the invitation now.

-

-

Len

-

Humming the piece that my father first taught me when I was five, as I sat in a corner of the room. How long has I been sitting here? I haven't moved an inch for the last, oh... I don't know, three days? Holding the mini knife in my hand, I have made up a very simple plan, that is to kill myself right now. With just a slash on the pulse of the wrist, then I'll get a chance to see my parents again. Heaven or Hell, I don't care anymore. But everytime I held the sharp, cold metal blade pressed against my skin, what my mother said just kept on ringing inside my head.

" _Len, try to live... live everyday to the...fullest of your ability, alright? You must...live...Len..."_

I held my head in my hands, it hurt so much. Everywhere. Every cell in my body just hurt so much. It was so hard to bear.

" Outo-san, okaa-san..." I let my body fell freely onto the hard floor, I felt a sudden urge to cry, but not a single tear came out. Why is that? Why can't I cry? Both my parents are dead. But I can't cry, no matter how much I tried. Why? I don't know. Right now, I only know one thing now, that I am alone. I'm alone with nothing or no one left on this world to care about me. No one...

-

-

Ryotaro

-

A lot of people came here to pay their respect at the funeral. I didn't know any of them, but I did recornize some other famous musicians. Anyway, I bet that they are wondering where did the son of this family, the only heir of the Tsukimori, have gone? And who was this green-haired stranger? I know that everything seemed weird but there was no other choice, Len just won't come out from his room and I couldn't just go around taking down a door in someone else's house. I sighed heavily then turned my eyes to look at the two pictures of Len parents. _'I wish that both of you could live much, much longer. He needs your guidance, and very badly right now. I... can't, it just that I don't know how to mend his now shattered heart. It's just too hard.'_ I thought to myself and sighed again, I have been doing that far too often. Then suddenly, I felt that something or a hand of someone touch my shoulder. I looked up and surprised to see that it was the whole gang! Well, most of them that is.

" Hey, what's with the sigh?" It was the sensei. I stood up to greet them and used everything I have left to muster a smile.

" You came." I said.

" You look miserable, man." Hihara-senpai said and I could sense that _half_ of it was meant as a joke as I replied him with just a smile.

" So, where's Tsukimori?" I looked away, since when did the ground became so interesting? I asked myself, trying to avoid answering the question. " Tsuchiura. Really, where is he?" The sensei asked again.

" He's... he is in his room. Follow me." As I led them up to the stairs, turning right and stopped at the blue door. I knocked. And no answer was replied. Just like any other times. Another sigh came out from me. " He has been like this for a few days already. And no matter how much I tried. He just won't open the door." I explained to them. I turned away. But then I thought to myself. So what if he doesn't open the door. Then will I let him be in there, locking himself away for the rest of his life? Will I?... No! Of course I won't! I have tried the soft way to deal with him but if he doesn't listen, then I just have to use force. And this is his fault, not mine.

" Mina-san. Step aside, please." I told them, as I went back a few steps and ran straight toward the door and took it down in one blow! The thing swung open, creating a loud sound. We went in as my eyes widened. Len was wearing a suit and tying his tie in front of a mirror.

" You didn't need to knock down the door you know." He said plainly.

" Well, you could have tell us!" I shouted.

" I was wearing my shirt when you knocked and I didn't get a chance to answer and then you came in and took down the door." His voice was somehow, cold. Fishing what he was doing, Len went out as he was leaving he turned back and said.

" Would you like to go down or just stand there, observing my room?" We looked at each other than left as he said and closed the door.

-

The funeral went well, but Len didn't speak a word, he was too quiet for his own good. He was calm and all, although, he didn't show any emotions, through my eyes, his body was giving out a loud and silent scream. He was just putting on a mask to cover his pain. But I could see that mask was slowly cracking.

Everybody was gone now, the gang left as well after bidding us a good-bye. Then I finally saw Len moved a little as he stood up.

" How are you feeling?" I asked. " You look kind of pale." He did actually seem sick.

" I'm fine." He replied then stopped for a moment then looked at me. " You... should go home, Ryotaro."

" What's with sudden suggestion?"

" You don't need to stay here anymore."

" But..."

" Please... Just... go. You don't have to do this any longer. It must be tiring, following me around and observing what I do for the sake of myself. But, I don't need you to do that, not anymore."

" What are you talking about?!" I shouted. " What are you? Insane?" I was both angry and hurt deep down from within.

" Yes. Maybe you are right. Maybe I am insane. My oukaa-san and outo-san died and all I did was just sitting there, watching other people grief, crying over them. And what about me, I can't even get a drop of tear out of my eye." His voice was shaking as he went over and knelt in front of the pictures of his deceased parents. " Oukaa-san, outo-san. I'm so sorry, for I am such a heartless, ungrateful son to you." My heart twisted when I heard those words. I went behind his back and gathered him into my arms. I embraced him tightly. Len's form was so fragile, I was so afraid that I was going to break in my arms.

" What... What are you doing?"

" Shhh... It's okay. No matter what, I'm here for you." I said softly into his ear. His grasps on my arms loosen as they fell down limply.

" Why is it? Why is it that everything I treasured just disappeared out of my sight one by one?" He was shaking harder and harder and his voice was cracked, as my hands got tighter. I really couldn't imagine how painful it was, but I know how much pain it caused him. I wish I could somehow share this burden with him, but I could only do this much. I heard his sniffs as warm tears dropped on my arms. He was crying.

" Why is it that God loves everyone, except for me? The longer I spent time thinking about it, the more questions appeared in my mind. But, I couldn't find the answers to them. I won't they let me die?! That night, it could have been me! They died because of me! Because they have to replace me at the concert." My eyes widened in shock.

" You... you knew?" I bit my lower lip, this was the reason why he tormented himself so much. Oh gosh. The embrace tightened, hearing him said that, I don't want to let him out of my sight even more.

-

After awhile, he calmed down and stopped crying. I helped him to stand up and led him to the couch. He was quite weak since he hasn't eaten anything for at least three or four days already. I sighed and asked him whether he wants to eat or not, but he said no. Neither of us said a word.

" Gomen nasai, Ryotaro. For being emotional." He said quietly as I looked at him.

" Iie, why are you apologizing? It's normal for people to show their feelings once in awhile. Especially in your case."

" You really think so? I guess...you're right." His voice seemed so tired, I turned to look at him, his eyelids were half way to be closed. " Arigatou, Ryotaro..." He suddenly fell down onto my shoulder. I was surprised, I tried to wake him up but when I looked at his innocent, sleeping face with a hint of sadness and despair, I couldn't find a heart to do that. Instead, I used my hands and slowly fixed him into a much more comfortable position, with his head on my lap. I looked at his face slowly as I softly traveled my fingers on his smooth, pale skin then I saw stagnate of tear at the corner of his eye. I sighed heavily as I wiped it away gently, so I won't wake his up.

Len has been endured so much pain and suffering, will he have to bear anymore hardship, burdens like this in the future? That is, indeed a very hard and scary question to answer. To think that there would be a possibility that things like this... No! I can't think like this. I should, must believe that the future will always be beautiful. Especially his future. Who would ever thought that behind the stone face he put on, was such a sensitive soul. He has always been hiding his true feelings, then when you think about it, who could believe that there'll be a day when I, Tsuchiura Ryotaro, can see his other side and call him by his first name like this. And to think that we used to consider ourselves arch-enemies.

Suddenly, I heard the doorbell rang. I gently put his head down to the couch and quietly walked out off the room.

" Coming. Who is it?" I opened the door and saw an old couple and beside them was a little child who I think that was about four or five.

" Is Tsukimori home?" The man asked plainly with quite an annoying voice.

" Yes. But who are you? And what business do you have with him?"

" Let me in right now."

" Sorry but I can't. He's tired after a long day and he's resting. Come back another time." I was getting really irritated with this old man, no matter who he was, if he won't leave soon, I swear he won't have any teeth left to eat.

" What's going on?" I heard a voice came from behind as I turned around.

-

-

Len

-

I heard something, maybe voices as I opened my eyes. I was asleep? Someone, or rather two people were talking. Who could that be? And where's Ryotaro? I waited for a second longer and I realized that one of the voices was Ryotaro's. I stood up but almost fell back down, thank God that I manage to hold the edge of the couch. With a sigh of relief I went out there to catch what was going on.

" What's going on?" I asked then saw Ryotaro turned back to look at me with surprised eyes. And the other person was..._him_?

" Len, uhm, there's nothing to be worried about, so just go back inside."

" Grandfather? Grandmother?" I saw his eyes widened and turned to stare at them. I was shocked as well. What were they doing here? They haven't come to visit since like seven-teen years ago.

" There you are Tsukimori. Tell this person here to let me in immediately." He was as demanding as always. I told Ryotaro to do what he said as the old man, my grandmother and that child went into the living room.

" Ryotaro, go home. I have things that I, they need to discuss in private."

" But..." He tried to protest, but I cut him off.

" No buts. Just this time alright, Ryotaro? Just for once, listen to me and go." I stared into his eyes. He sighed then turned away.

" I'll go, but remember, I'll be back tomorrow to check on you. So, while I'm gone, don't do anything stupid, okay?" He said jokingly but I do know that half of it was serious. " Ramen noodles."

" Huh?"

" I'll teach you how to make a delicious ramen noodles tomorrow. Just you wait, Len." With that he went to the door and opened it as the golden, honey liked sunlight came in and fill the air with its warmth. " Ja-ne!" He turned and smiled at me. I couldn't help but to smile back.

" Hai, arigatou Ryotaro and ja-ne." I waved him good-bye as the door slowly closed. When he was gone, it felt like the sun has left the face of this Earth. Everything fell back into the darkness, it was so cold and lonely. It felt like I have lost something. A huge space was left open in my soul. But there were more things at hands, with my so called grandfather personally came here then it must be something very important. I took another glimpse at the spot where Ryotaro stood once then went in.

" What took you so long?" He asked coldly when I first showed my face.

" He was my friend so I have to give him a proper good-bye. I don't want to embarrass the Tsukimori family's pride now, do I?" I answered all the things I expected him to ask as I sat down on the couch opposite him and now we were face-to-face.

" Tsukimori, today I have come here to tell you one thing..." He looked up to observe my expression but find none so he went back to the sentence he intentionally left cut off. " I officially declare you are not my inheritor of this family anymore. This child here will replace your position, I have to say, he looks more intelligent than you when you were at his age." Well now, he had finally come to the point where he insulted me. But intelligent? That boy? Give me a break.

" Well, I have to say, he does look quite intelligent, for a mere puppet."

" At least he won't be an ungrateful brat."

" Although, the strings for the controller to control the puppet will one day snap and that will be the day for it to get out of control. And that definitely will happen sooner or later." I replied.

" That won't happen."

" Oh, it will."

" At least you won't be around to see that happens." I understood what he meant by that but.

" What do you mean?"

" From now on, this house is under my authority and I am telling you to leave, this is not yours anymore. This house will be the new place for my grandson to live and grow." I bit my lower lip. To think that I, the owner of the house, being chase out by a person I barely know and love. " I give you until morning to pack your things and leave. You can take whatever you want along with you and I'll give you this much, say, for bying a new place to live." He took an envelope out from his bag and put it on the table. I looked at it then stood up.

" I'll leave but keep the money to yourself, I don't need it, especially from you."

" Really? You don't?" He gave me a mocking look as he took back the envelope and put it in his bag.

" From now till next morning, this house is still mine so, leave. The three of you, please get out of _my_ house, immediately." I said coldly and I think that they understood full well what to do as they stood up and preparing to go. The child, or the inheritor, came running toward me as he glared at me with a mocking look like his grandfather and kicked me on my leg then left. It didn't hurt that much since he was a child, but with that kind of attitude, like I have said, he won't get far in life.

They left as I went out to lock the front door as their car drove away. Everything in the house fell into a still silence. I sat down on the couch again and leaned my head on the edge with my eyes closed. I have no other choice but to leave, there was nothing more I could say about that discussion. He, my so-called grandfather, was the owner of this house after all, he gave my parents this house after they got married. And now, when the old man saw that I couldn't possibly achieve anything for him, he abandoned me and chose someone else, a mere kid to replace me. I opened my eyes as I stood up and went over to kneel before the pictures of my parents again.

I knelt there for so long, thinking about things that happened, everything and I came to a conclusion that I am all alone in this world. I knew that fact for awhile now, but now I'm even more certain about it. This house kept so many memories. I was raised, taught and grew up in this very same place. It held a lot of good memories, but being in here also made me think about the past, the painful aspect that I wanted to forget so much, but it still remained there, deep inside my heart. I wound that would never heal...

That night, I slept in my parents' bedroom, I could sense their present was still somewhere on the pillow sheet and blanket. Mother's soft smell of perfume and father's scent. I curled up inside the blanket, it felt like I was small again and I was drown in their embrace. But it won't last long, this maybe the last night I can ever sleep in their bedroom like this. I don't want to leave, but what more can I do in this situation. There might be a day when I'll return, and when that time comes, this house will be mine again.

I packed my bags early in the next morning. The pictures of my parents, my clothes, important stuffs, my cell phone, medicines, and... I turned to look at the blue case, which was still lying on the bed, traveling my hand on it, I remembered the first day when I received this as a gift for my birthday from mother and father. I was very happy and I still am, but... with my hand like this, can I even play it anymore? Can I create another beautiful note of music for this world? Can I play the pieces that my father and mother taught me? So many questions but only one answer received. I don't know. I opened the case, the golden violin appeared slowly and shone brightly under the warm morning sunlight. I closed it, maybe that little kid could think of something of used for the violin of mine. I held the two bags I my hands and slowly walked away. Opening the door, I stopped. Something inside of me stopped me from moving my feet, I... I can't. I can't do it. I can't! I dropped the bags on my hand down on the floor and ran back to the violin case then held it in my arms.

No, I simply can't not do it. I couldn't abandon the only thing that was left on this world for me to remember about my parents. Holding the case tightly in my hands I stood up, picked the bag up from the floor, and went out. Before I go, I took a good look at the room.

" Well, this is good-bye."

Going down the stairs, this feeling, never before had I ever felt it. This feeling of longing, I had left this house so many times but this time, it was different. There might be a chance that I won't be able to come back. And somehow, just like they understood everything that was going on, everything in the house seemed so strange today, unlike any other normal days, like it was saying good-bye to me. Maybe I was being paranoid but I couldn't lie about this feeling had. I went out of the house, looking it from the outside. I really didn't want to leave, but I have to. Pulling out the chain of keys in my pocket, I put it down on the door step and turned away as I started walking out.

Will I leave like this? This easily? I don't know. That was the only answer in my mind, yet again. Every corner in this house held a memory and meaning of its own. Can I leave them all behind this easily? Although, what can I do? Without the violin, I don't know what else I can do to make a living... Wait. What am I talking about? I, Tsukimori Len, the person who bears the family name of my father, am thinking of giving up? Without even fight for it? Forget it! I turned back to look at my house once more.

" I will try to make money. I'm going to survive this life. Someday, I'll return. And I'll take back what is rightfully belongs to me. Just you wait."

With that, I bowed my head and went out, closing the gate behind me. I suddenly remembered something that I haven't done yet. I took out my phone and chose the message I typed in yesterday. I didn't get a chance to send it but I do now as I pressed the 'Send' button. The phone rang the tune signal that the message has been sent. Maybe I should take this opportunity to change the music tune. I erased the 'Ave Maria' and replaced it with a song I thought would fit the situation I was in, 'Shattered'.

-

-

Ryotaro

-

The phone was ringing. Man, who could be calling at this time of day?! I thought angrily. Give me a break, it was six in the morning! I growled, darn it! The music just won't stop! I picked up the phone. Oh, it was a message. It was from... Len? I checked the message. It said that:

_ I'm sorry, Ryotaro._

My eyes immediately snapped open. What the heck?! What does he mean by 'sorry'? I jumped out of the bed and started to get dress. Snatching the keys from the table and leaving the house. I drove like crazy on the road, thank God that it was six in the morning so there weren't that many cars around, or I would have seriously kill someone! I stopped in front of his house, swung the door open and pressed the bell of the door. Then I heard someone answered through the machine.

Uhm, hello? Who is that? It was a woman's voice. Who could she be?

" Is Len there?" I asked.

Len? Tsukimori Len? No. I'm sorry but he left this morning. What can I do for you?

I didn't answer that because I have already gotten back into the car as I started the engine and drove away. Darn it, Len! For what reason?! Why did you leave?! Then the image of that old man yesterday appeared in my mind. He must be the reason why Len left. Damn it!

Where is he?! I have been looking for him for quite awhile now, but I couldn't even find him anywhere. Where could he have gone? Think Ryotaro! You must think! There's... there's a station near here! Maybe he is there! I drove away in a high speed. I stopped in front of the station and ran inside. Kuso! There were too many people here. And it was too big of a place, he could be anywhere! I ran off into the midst of people and started calling out his name.

After searching for about ten minutes, I saw a guy with two bags and a blue case and he has azure hair. It must be him! I followed him, I ran as fast as possible. Len! Len! He was just right in front of me! I'm almost there! My mind screamed but it was too late, he had stepped into the train as the door close. The horn rang, telling everybody that it was leaving. I ran after it.

" Len! Len!" I didn't know that he could hear me or not but I just called anyway. I shouted at the top of my lungs. My throat was hurting but I still called. Because, maybe, I don't know, maybe somehow he would change his mind about going away.

" Len!!!" At that moment, he turned around and stare at me with widened eyes through the glass window. " Why are you going?! Come back!" And then the train left the station, he was telling something, and the only thing that I could make out at that moment was:

" _I'm sorry."_

-

-

-

_To be continued..._

_**A/N:**_ My apology for the long delay. I didn't have time to post this chapter up last week. Forgive me my readers. Anyway, how was the chapter? Was it good? Please review. Thanks.


	7. Cross Paths

_**Chapter 7:**_ Cross Paths

-

-

-

_5 years later..._

-

-

Fire. Fire was everywhere. Everywhere. And no matter how much I looked, the same red color of flames was all around me. Giving me the hot intensity, although there was something else in the flames, it made my heart twisted whenever I get a bit close to it, like the fire itself has feelings, the painful feelings. This wasn't a normal fire, it was much more of a fire that burns in one's broken heart.

A shadow! I just a shadow passing through me, in the midst of flames. I ran, trying to follow it. The shadow's figure, I didn't know why, but somehow seemed so familiar. Then I felt a sudden chill rushed down my spine when I saw the cooling color of azure. It was right in front of me, that person, he was right there! However, the fire has blocked the path, the only way that I could get to him. There was no other choice as I used my hand to cover my front and ran into the fire as fast as I could and hopefully it won't burn me badly.

" Ahh!!!!" I shouted to gather the will and jumped into the fire. And I saw him, standing there, in the midst of burning flames. I pulled him into my arms as he turned around. Those eyes were so dimmed and filled with tears, just like before as he looked at me, then a single tear fell down from his chin and dropped to the ground, shattered.

Suddenly, from the point where the tear broke a flash of light pierced my eyes, and ice started to spread, slowly pushed the fire away until all that surrounds me now was ice and snow as the cold instantly get to me. First it was hot and now I have to rub my hands together to keep myself warm. Before I knew it, he was gone. I looked around, no one was around and there was a small path that led to a cave as I followed, somehow I got a feeling that he was in there.

The deeper I went, the colder it got and by now, fog was coming out from my mouth but no matter how much I go, the stupid cave won't end! It was getting darker as I traced my hand onto to the side, trying to find my way around, letting a sigh, I kept on going because I know that this eventually has to end.

A small light appeared ahead I walked faster than before and finally found myself in a huge space. Although, all I could see in here was ice. But then, something caught my eyes as I went to see if my eye's sight was right or not.

" Len...?" He was huddled into a ball in a small corner over to the right. I ran there as quickly as possible since the ground was all slippery. As I bent down to touch his shoulder, my hand jerked back almost immediately. He was cold as ice! Then he looked up to me with those dimmed eyes of his, slowly breathed and a line of thin fog came out.

'" You found me, Ryotaro..."' His voice wass weak, so small and cracked. After that, he smiled at me, that same smile. Bitter and painful. '" It's so hurt..."'

" What is? Where?" I asked worrily as he took my hand and pressed it on his chest, onto the heart. " Here?" A nod was received as a reply.

'" I don't know why, but it so hurt. So painful."' Suddenly, I felt something warm under my palm like a form of liquid. I lifted it up to look. Blood? My eyes widened as I looked down to the spot and it was bleeding badly! I tried to stop the blood from licking but it just poured out more and more, until he fell down into my arms and stopped... breathing...

-

" Len!!!" I shouted aloud as my eyes widened. I gasped, desperately needed to have some air into my burning lungs. " It was... just a dream." I whispered, everything always seemed so blurry after that dream. Five years, five years have passed since that day when he went away without telling me a reason. I sighed. Five long years, not even a message, a call nor even a letter. I had tried going to the house to talk to the old man but he refused to see me.

I have been waiting, waiting for a sign, a signal about his return. However, for the past five years, I received nothing, nothing at all. I shook my head slightly. Everytimes I saw somebody outside the street that was looking similar to him, I always followed and make sure whether it was him or not. But as I did so, I found myself got more and more drown into this endless desperation, I feared that someday, I would lose all hopes for a chance of finding the guy. Len, where are you? Why did you leave without telling me why? I wanted to scream so much, to punch at something to ease my heart but I couldn't. I have learned a way to control myself more. I am after all, 28. I rubbed my temples, I was getting a lot of headaches lately, too much work at the company. Speaking of which, I think that I fell asleep in my office. I looked around and yes, I was right. No wonder, since I went to sleep at four in the morning yesterday and got up at five. Bearly an hour. I sighed, I was shouting in my sleep, I knew that for a fact, and thank goodness that the walls were sound-proof, so no one could hear me. I turned to look outside the window, the sky was bright and cleared.

' _Where are you, Len?'_ I thought to myself then sighed. Suddenly, I heard someone was knocking on the door.

" Come in." I said as the door opened and came in my secretary and she was...holding documents in her hands, yet again.

" Excuse me, sir. There are some documents for you." I nodded.

" You can put them on my desk. And are there anything else?"

" Yes. Over at the Employees Manager Section, they just took in five new staff-members they thought that can capable of doing our work. And those five are here for us to test whether or not we can employ them."

" Is that so?" I looked around then something came across my mind. I picked up a pile of papers and gave it to her. " Tell them that if they want to work here then find a way to somehow arrange and identify these into readable documents." She looked at the pile then stared at me with widened eyes.

" But, sir. It is very hard to do as your requests with these."

" However, miss Takeshino. I had given you almost the same task when I first tested you to be my employee and you managed to do it and became my secretary, did you not? So if you can do it then so can they. Tell them so, if they won't accept my request then they should look for another job." She looked at me again then nodded.

" Yes, sir. And, there's one more thing. You have an important meeting today at three in the afternoon with the council."

" I do remember that. You don't need to worry. I know how to handle these people. Although, for me to do so require your co-operation. So do as I said yesterday, okay?"

" Yes, sir. Anything for you is fine. Now, please excuse me." She gave me a slight bow and went out.

-

I was on my way out. I need to refresh my mind. It was only two thirty so I still got an hour and half left till the meeting. Plenty of time to rest. Where should I go? I thought to myself since I was driving around aimlessly. How about... oh, I don't know, maybe the 'Classic'. Yeah, it has been almost five years since I last gone there along with...him. I sighing heavily as I parked my car into a parking lots. The bell chinkled as I opened the door to go in. I called a black coffee and sat at the table next to the window, waiting for my order.

The sunlight beamed down brightly, but through the green leaves of the tree, it seemed to give into a shade of emerald, it reminds of the past. Everything felt liked it just happened yesterday and yet, it isn't. I heard laughter, it was coming from the opposite seat. That laugh was filled with happiness but somehow it has the hint of despair and sorrow at the same time. It was gentle and calming, soothing my aching soul. I turned to look and saw Len was sitting there, smilling at me.

'" _That was funny. You really do have a sense of humor."_' The glow in his eyes shone as he looked at me with a gentle look on his face. _'" Ryotaro."'_ My eyes widened, was I dreaming? I reached out my hand to touch him but he faded away like a wether flower. It was... just an illusion my mind created to deceive me. I sighed again. How many times id this happen? Yet, I still fell for it. I'm such a fool. But, it's just that, I miss him so much. Till now I still can't believe that he was gone from my life because it felt like he was everywhere, in this café, I my house, one the streets. During the time when his parents were away to some concerts to fill into his place, I had taken him so many places, almost like the whole city, that was the reason why I could still see him everywhere I look. I think that I'm going insane, without him here I felt like a part of my soul has been taken away. It felt so... empty.

I took a sip of my coffee. I thought that the coffee tey made here was much more tasty. Guess that I was wrong. I sat there, letting the time passes by without any notice as the loneliness slowly engulfing me once more...

The cellphone suddenly rang in my pocket and snapped me back into this world. I took it out, it was my secretary, I sighed, evethough I didn't want to, I have to pick it up.

It's time, sir.

" Yeah, I know. I'll be there immediately." I replied tirely. As I left the shop, leaving some change behind on the table.

-

-

Gosh. It was such a tense meeting. I dropped my body into the chair, it was tiring. I'm worn out! The headache was returning. I closed my eyes, trying to get some rest. But knocks could be hear from the door, again! I gritted my teeth.

" Come in." I said as calm as possible. Ms. Takeshino came in, once more. And she was holding something, again! " What is it?"

" The five had finished the work you gave."

" They accept my request? Interesting." She handed me their works and left. I held up the works. Fine but not really exceptional. I looked through them, nothing really interested at all. I threw the works on one side of desk. Hah! There was even one that didn't finish! How boring. Then something caught my eyes. Wait a minute! These documents weren't finished yet but the arrangement in it was very exceptional. Even my secretary couldn't do this good. I picked up the phone.

" Miss Takeshino can you call..." I looked down to the paper to find a name. Here it is. " Can you call Mori Yuki here for me please."

Yes. But what for, sir?

" Just call him for me."

Right away, sir. And she hung up. I have to meet this person. He is a very interesting, this Mori Yuki guy. Five minutes later, someone knocked the door again, but this time, the sounds created were quite gentle, I'm not saying that Takeshino wasn't gentle when she knocked but something about this was different, liked that person had been raised to do so since young.

" Come in." The door clicked opened, I looked through the documents again, it was indeed very exceptional. " You are Mori Yuki, right? You have done very well with my requests. Your work is very..." I looked up as my eyes widened. My heart skipped a beat, I was speechless, as I stared at the person who was standing before me.

" _Len?"_

-

-

_To be continued..._

_**A/N:**_ How was the chapter? Sorry, again, for the long delay. I know that it was short. But forgive me since I didn't really have anything else to write in this chapter anymore. I have already focues all of the excitements into the next chapter and I couldn't really do anything else. Anyway, Bye! See you again.


	8. Reunion

_**Chapter 8:**_ Reunion

-

-

I was typing the documents. These were too long, but I still have to finish them. It was hard since I couldn't type fast enough with my hand. Although, I could still manage to do this job.

" Mr. Mori?" A woman called as I turned around, she was the secretary of the president. " The boss want to talk to you." I was surprised. He wanted to talk with me? I turned off the screen of the computer and went after the woman. She led me to a big room with a wooden door as she told me to come in.

I knocked and heard a voice replied and said that I could come in. As I opened the door slowly and went in. I saw a man was sitting on a chair behind a desk which has a laptop on it. He was looking at some papers.

" You are Mori Yuki, right? You have done very well with my requests. Your work is very..." He said. Then I looked at him, I couldn't believe my eyes, was I seeing thing?! And I noticed that he was staring at me, too.

" Len?" The word slipped out from his mouth with a confused voice.

" I'm sorry, but you're mistaking me for someone else. Please, excuse me." I replied rappidly as I turned around, quickly left the room. Something fell and created a loud noise from behind, I was reaching to the door until something warm held my wrist. It was him and he was slowly tightened the grip.

" Where do you think you are going, Len?"

" Please, sir. You're mistaking. I'm not the person who you think I am. So, let me go." But he just pulled me in closer with his strong arm.

" If so, then why are you running away?" His voice was filled with anger mixed with sorrow and despair as my heart twisted within my chest.

" Sorry but I'm not running away."

" If it's really the truth then turn around to look at me! If you won't then I will call you Len by all means!" He shouted in desperation. I bit my lower lip, hesistating to do as he said. " So?"

I couldn't answer anything nor could I turn around to face him, it was just too painful. But for him to let me go, I made up my mind and turned around to look at him as I gave him a cold look and pulled my hand out of his immediately.

" I won't say this again, sir. But you are mistaking me for someone else."

" But..." I didn't wait for him to finish his sentence as I walked straight to the door, trying to be as calm as possible.

" Excuse me." I went out and closed the door behind me then hurried to the wash-room. I opened the tab as the water poured out strongly, using my hands to gather some water and splashed it into my face. Drops and drops of cooling water dripped down my face. Why did I have to meet him of all people? Or maybe I should rather be asking why did I return here, to this place for? _'I should leave while I still have the chance to.'_ I thought to myself. I didn't really want to bother anyone at all.

-

-

Ryotaro

-

He just went away and closed the door right in front of my face. And I was speechless, not because that I couldn't reflex to his movement but it was because of the stare. The cold and heartless stare that he used to give to almost everyone back when we were still in Seiso. But somehow I could feel that it was so painful, the look in his eyes, they were filled sorrow and the desperation, wanting to get away, like he was warning me not to touch him and begging me to let him go at the same time. The feeling was so confusing, but it was real. Even with the attitude he just showed me, it was fine, I'm just glad that finally the day had come for him to return and I am so happy to see him again. Although he was quite thin, when I grabbed his hand all I could feel then was his bone beneath his cold skin. And he was as pale as snow, it was like there wasn't any blood inside that body of his. I looked at the door way where he was just standing there a few moments ago, and I could still feel the touch in my palm. So, it was real after all, and I was afraid that it was only just a dream. Eventhough he won't admit it, but I know that he was Len, there was no mistake about it, the azure color of his hair, his amber eyes and the cold look that he shot at me. It was definitely him. I smiled to myself, then turned back to my desk and picked up the phone.

" Ms. Takeshino? This Mori yuki person his quite interesting. But I want to test him one more time." I said.

What? You want to test him for one more time, sir?

" Yes. And I want the other four to join into this little exam as well."

So, how do you want to test them? My secretary asked with a very curious voice. Well, let see what I should give to them, no, to Len. Then something popped into my mind as I smirked to myself.

" Well, I will have to attend to another meeting tomorrow, right? And I think that the arrngement and information in my project to show the . is not good enough, yet. So tell them to create another project for me. One that is more interesting and contain more various information and nice formatting. And on powerpoint, alright?"

But, are you sure, sir. This is very important... I cut her off.

" Don't question my order Ms. Takeshino. Just tell them to do so and gave me their works within today. You already know what is the project about, right?" I stopped for a second then said " By the way, tell them that they can't leave, not until the hand in their project ideas, okay? And you will send the pictures of five of them to the security and make sure to them that neither of these people will leave this building until I say so."

Uhm... Should you that far, sir?

" I know what I'm doing so don't worry. Just do what I said." With that I hung up the phone. And turned to look at the scenary outside, it was almost evening. I know that I'm cruel to do this to you since you can't type that fast with your hand but I have to hold you back as long as I can. I won't let you go ever again.

-

Nine fifteen. Even my secretary has gone home and the other foud had handed in their work long ago and went home as well. At this time of day, there was hardly anyone left in the building but today was exceptional. I went out of my office. Like I've thought, there was no one left. I have been waiting for this to come so that I could have a straight talk to Len without fearing to be interrupted by anyone. Not at all. I went down to the office where I know that my special 'employee' was in there.

The whole was so dark, someone has turned off the light and from afar I could see there was still a computer working at the corner and there was a figure sitting in front of the screen. I was about to turn on the light but I stopped as my hand was reaching to the switch. If I turn the lights on now, the guard will get suspicious and go up to see what was happening. And that would ruin the conversation between Len and I so I quit the idea and slowly went to where he was. All alone in a cold room, engulfing by the darkness, Len was still trying to finish the task that was given.

His eyes were red and starting to water for sticking his eyes at the screen for too long. He breathed out slowly as a thin line of fog came out. He was cold. He was so focused at the project he was working on that he didn't realized that I was standing there for quite a while, watching him doing his work. He started to type, but it was slow, very slow and I could see that the fingers of his left hand were shaking and he was having problem to move them. The old surgery scars must be acting up again. I bit my lower lip. Should I step to face him and tell him to stop? Would he stand up and run away from like he did earlier when he sees me? I didn't really know... Cough. He was staring to cough as he used his hand to rub his throat painfully. My heart twisted inside my chest, it was hurt. I took off my jacket and slowly placed it on his shoulders. Feeling the sudden warmth, he immediately jerked and turned around to stared at me with widened eyes. I was so surprised when I looked into that pair of eyes. They were fill with fear. He looked so scared. I have never seen that look in his eyes, never before. But it was nine and everything was dark except for the dimmed light that was given out by the computer screen, no wonder.

I smiled at him, as warmly as I could muster. Then he suddenly stood up from his seat as the jacket fell down onto the floor.

" What are you doing here, sir? It's late." His voice was hoarse from all the coughing and I could see that his lips were cracked for lacking of water. And in this cold room as well.

" I know what I'm doing. But...you should stop working for now." He looked at me with a slight frown on his face as he returned to his seat.

" I'm sorry but I do remember that youu have ordered us to stay behind until we finished our work and handed them to you." He said coldly. Like this room couldn't get any colder.

" But I said that you don't need to work anymore." I repeated myself.

" You shouldn't change your mind on anything when you've already ordered someone to do the work for you, sir." He began to take out his USB and copy the powerpoint into it and turned of the computer.

" I only managed to complete most of the work but I still haven't finish the ending yet. So my apology for being slow." Then he bent down to pick up my jacket and gave it to me along with the USB. " Thank you. But I don't need it, sir." With that he turned around to walk away.

" Wait, Len!"

" My name is Mori, Mori Yuki, sir. It's in my application form." He replied simply and kept on going. I followed behind then I saw him stopped. " That Len person you were kept on calling is... dead." The he started to run away. But I wasn't gonna let him slip out of my hands so easily, I was right behind, chasing after him. He was fast, faster than before but I managed to catch up with him and grabbed his arm.

" Please, let me go!" He, we were doing the same thing when we were in my office but it wasn't like I would let him go at the end anyway. I pulled him in and embraced him tightly in my arms. I won't let him out of my sight, never again would that happen. I could hear his heart was beating strongly in his chest, his heavy breathing and out of all, I could really feel him, right now in my arms. He wasn't an illusion, not anymore, he was real this time not just an image from an old memory that was trying to deceive me. I tightened the grip around him, this time, to make sure that I wasn't dreaming of this. This was genuine. He was real!

" Let me go, sir."

" I won't! I won't let you anywhere. Not anymore." I let him out of my arms but I still held his wrist tightly, this time it won't be easy for him to pull his hand out. Then I pushed him over to the wall.

" Wha...What are you doing?" I frowned slightly and looked at him with serious eyes.

" You said Tsukimori Len is dead. But do you have anything to prove that he is like you said?"

" I...I just know, okay. Over the last five years he slowly dying away and now, his life is already ended."

" How could you be so sure?" I put my hand and pressed my palm against the place where his heart was. " You just only burried him here, not into the solid ground. So how could you be so sure? He is still alive. Somewhere in there, in that scared heart. In fact, he is right here, standing right here with us. Because you and him...are one in the same. You _are_ him, so don't try to deny the fact." He stared me then looked away.

" Why didn't you call me? For five years, not even a message! If you just told me then I could have help you! Why didn't you contact me?" I said to him. I waited for him to answer but nothing came out from his mouth. Like the words were stuck at his throat. I sighed, then turned to walk away and pull him along with me, he had no other choice but to follow. I led him out off the building and into the parkinglots then pushed him into my car on the passenger's seat. I drove the car away as I turned to glance at him. From the look of things, I could say that he has been through a lot since the day he left. He didn't look like a rich boy anymore, but he was more like a person who has been struggling, trying to find a way to live through the day without getting starv or cold. How has he been living? I wondered to myself.

" Where are you taking me?" He asked as I smiled to myself.

" Thank you for asking... Len." I called out his name, and he didn't go against it nor did he tell me not to call him that. He has finally accept the fact that I have recognized him. I knew that since he has answer my question but I just wanted to make sure, that's all.

-

After driving the car to the front door then went to close the gate, I told Len to come in. He was standing next to my car with his arms folded I front of his chest. He still got the the style of a person who had been raised under good watch in a wealthy family.

" C'mon. Let's get inside." I unlocked the door and went in with him behind me. We went into the living room as I told him to sit down onto the couch. And in the mean time, I went to prepare some tea. I looked at him closely. He hasn't changed that much for the last five years. However, he was quite thin and pale, those amber eyes were so dimmed, unlike before. I felt so hurt to see him like this, but another part of me was just happy for his return. He was whispering something, or rather humming. Ave Maria? I stared at him for a while, then he suddenly turned to look at me.

" Can I... Can I have a glass of plain water?" He said then I nodded.

" Sure. But the tea is almost ready you know..." I took a glass and a water bottle from the fridge then went to put them of the table. He said a quick thank you then opened up the bottle as he poured in some water. I was watching to see what he was doing when the keetle suddenly howled and made me startled.

" Kuso." I cursed under my breath and went to turn off the stove. But, I still turned to look at him, again, as I saw him pulled out a small bottle of medicine and put in his palm five pills then put them into his mouth and drank the water in the glass. After that, he stood up, bringing the bottle to put it back into the fridge then washed the glass at the sink and put it back to where it was. As I was pouring the hot water into the teapot after putting some tea leaves in it, I saw him returned back to his seat quietly.

I brought the tray with a tea set on it out and put onto the table. Then suddenly, I remembered something.

" Wait a second, okay?" With that I ran back in and took the plate on the counter in my hand and went back out. I saw that the two tea cups out along with the teapot and sugar were neatly placed on the table and the tray was pushed to the side of the table. And Len here was looking out off the window. I put the plate in front of him as he stared at it then me. I smiled.

" Have a slice of cake. It's really delicious."

" What about you?"

" Finally say something huh? No, I'm fine. I have some of it already. So you eat up." He looked at me as I sat down.

" No. You said that it's delicious then you should have it." He pushed the plate over to my side.

" No way. I said that I already had some of it, so you should eat it. Besides, there are still some left in the fridge." I pushed it back.

" I insist, you should have it."

" No. You have it." And we ended up pushing the plate back and forth to each other.

-

Len

-

We just kept on pushing the plate to each other but, none of us took it. For my part, I didn't want to eat it since sweet wasn't really my favorite and besides, when I opened the fridge to put the bottle back, I saw that there was only one slice left and it was this one fo sure. And this was high class and expensive kind of cake so I should let him eat it.

" Okay, listen Len." 'Len', how long has it been since the last time someone called me by that name? And now, he addressed me by it, the name slipped out from his lips in such a soft and gentle way that it was hard to tell him to stop. " I said that it's _fine_ then it's fine! Just have it!" He was getting angry I could tell. I looked at him again then shook my head as I saw that his face was turning red, from anger, as he took the cake in his hand.

" Alright, I'll eat it. Just don't regret it later." I looked at him as he slowly put the cake in his mouth. Then he suddenly stopped when it was just an inch away from his mouth then I saw his eyes were looking at me. " Are you sure."

" I'm sure." I said. All of the sudden, he stood up and went over to my side. With a hand press against the edge as he leaned forward, holding the slice of cake in front of my face.

" One bite." I stared at him then turned away.

" This is stupid. If you want to then just eat it already. No need to pass it around."

" I know, but..."

Suddenly, his hand slipped as he lost his balance. My eyes widened as he fell on top of me. His body pressed against mine. He was so close, I could feel his warmth and every breath of his. My heart was racing ever so fast and I could tell that my face was burning up. I was speechless, I didn't know what to say nor did I know what to do at that moment. All I could say that from his expression that he was very confused like I was. And it was like time has stopped. For a second later, my senses finally returned to me and I realized what to do as I used all the strength I could muster to lift up my arms and pushed him away as I tried to push myself up. Ryotaro, on the other hand was sitting there with a blank on his face.

" I am... I'm so sorry! What have I done?! I'm so sorry, Len!"

" It's okay. I'm fine." I told him.

" But... your shirt! Oh no, it's all dirty." I looked down then saw what he meant, the cream on the cake was all over my shirt.

" I just need to wash it then it's fine. You don't need to be so worried." I used the tip of my finger, trying to wipe some of the cream away. I saw him went to me then pulled my on the wrist, again.

" Let's go."

" To where?"

" To the bathroom of course. I can't leave you like this so go and take a shower." He said to me, almost demmanding. His house really was very big as he led me to the bathroom and pushed me inside.

" Go and take a shower. Don't worry about the clothes, alright? I'll lend you some of mine. You put the dirty clothes into the straw basket here, okay?" With that he just went out and closed the door behind him. I didn't know what else to do except for doing what he said. I took off my clothes and threw them into the basket as I stepped into the bath. I opened the shower first to wash myself before bathing. I may as well take this chance to shower with hot water, it's not like I would always got the approtunity to.

I closed my eyes to feel drops and drops of water touched my against skin. The image of what happened earlier flashed back into my mind. His face was so close to mine, I could see his amber eyes stared at me with confusion in them, his every breath on my skin. My heart was pounding so hard then... My eyes snapped open. What the... What am I thinking? What am I thinking?! I shook my head. I shouldn't be thinking about such thoughts. The water washed over my body, then it hit me. Should I even be here? Do...Do I have the right to, though? I left him for five years without even saying a word and yet, now he is treating as though I didn't go anywhere at all. How could a person be so generous? I asked myself. I was selfish enough to leave him behind. But I left because I didn't want to bother him, not at all. But the memories after that was slowly getting darker and darker and I wanted to forget them all, all the pain and suffering. I wish I could be in a car accident or something and lost all of my memory. Yes, I wish that could happen. But...

'" _Len!"'_ The sound of Ryotaro voice, calling my name suddenly rang inside my mind. What will happen to him if that happened to me? Will he feel any pain? Will he grief for me? I bet that he would. And to think that when we were still in Seiso Gakuen, we were arguing so much that I couldn't believe that we are friends now. That was the thing that I thought woud never happen. I smiled to myself. Then suddenly, I heard the door opened.

" Hey, Len." It was him and I could see his tall figure behind the current. " I'll put a clean towel and some clothes in the basket for, alright? Okay, I'm going out now." With that the door closed again. I sighed, now that I have met him again. Do I have the heart to leave again?

-

I stepped out of the shower and dried myself with the towel and put on his clothes. And I have to admit that his clothes was quite large for me. The T-shirt hung loosely around my shoulders and thank God that the pants were elastic or else I won't what to do. I sighed, using the towel to dried my hair carefully then folded and put it back into the basket.

Opening the door, I could see that he was standing next to the stairway.

" You can go if you want to, I'm done." I told him.

" No. Not now. Anyway, I have been waiting for you."

" Why?"

" Come with me." He said.

" To where?"

" I've cooked something to while you were in the path, so let's go or else the food would get cold."

" Sorry, but I..." I didn't get a chance to finish as he cut me off.

" No buts, please. Just follow me."

I followed him into the 'kitchen'. I thought it was the same place when we first came in, but turned out that it was _just_ a mini kitchen to make some tea in the living-room. And the place so called 'kitchen'was actually a grand dining-hall to me. His house was too big to believe. No wonder, since the company he was working in, after the old president was replaced by him, the company was changing rapiddly through the year and now has become one of the most successsful Corp. in Japan, in just three years. All thanks to this guy here. This was why he is so rich now. Ryotaro suddenly turned around to look at me.

" What's up? Why are you standing there for?"

" It's nothing." I replied quietly then came inside. The table was neatly set with lots of food. He pointed the seat over to the right and told me to sit down as he sat down to the other one which was across from mine. A bowl of rice was put in front of my face as I looked up to see him smiling brightly.

" Eat up." I held the bowl into my hand, it was a large one as well.

" I can't eat all of this." I said to him.

" C'mon, you're the same age as me, as tall I am so if can eat it then why can't you? So eat, no more questions, alright?" I sighed. No point in arguing with him, I will be wasting my breaths if I did. I picked up the chopsticks and took a slice of tofu into my bowl. And when I was about to bite it then a a part of a fried fish came dropping down into my bowl. It was Ryotaro.

" I said eat then eat like you mean it, not like that." I frowned but maybe it didn't have much effect.

We sat there and eat, none of us talk and the air was still and quiet as though someone has turned off the sound of a playing movie. Then suddenly, he spoke up and broke the silence.

" How's your hand? Is it doing fine, the left one I mean." I looked at him then nodded. " But I just saw you had quite a lot of medicines just then. Are you sure that it _is_ fine? I recalled not seeing you drank that much before."

" It changed quite sometimes ago."

" Well then don't you think that you should buy another bottle? Since this one is almost out." I stopped for a brief moment.

" I know."

" I can buy you one now if you want to." He said cheefully.

" No, thanks. I can manage on my own." With that I thought that it would keep him quiet but no, not just yet.

" Uhm... Why did you change your name?" He asked then looked at me with those burning amber eyes, demmanding to know. I put down my bowl and chopsticks then looked at him, too.

" Because I didn't want anyone to find me. It's quite troublesome."

" That 'someone' is... me, right?" He said that with a sorrowful look cloaked his face.

" That's right."

" But...why, though? If I can find you then I could have help you."

" I don't need your pity, Ryotaro."

" That's not pity, that's call 'helping each other out in hard time'!" The gu was getting angry and this discussion wasn't going anywhere.

" But reality is that Ryotaro, I don't need yor help!"

" Maybe so, but look at you! Pale, thin and you look like you don't even have a drop of blood in that so called body of yours! You look like a ghost!!!" He shouted and every word he just said pierced into my heart like knifes. I stood up and slammed both my hand on the table as I bit my lower lip and my hands tightened. My blood boiled, I was so angry. What is this? What's with the sudden anger?

" God damn it, Ryotaro. Do you know how much I want to be a ghost right now?!! Be a ghost and then I won't have to care about anything anymore! Nor you, nor a place that have high salary, nor someone that would accept a person with a damage hand such as myself to work for them! But I can't. Because I have made a stupid promise not to die. If that promise was to be erased then I would kill myself already! Not standing here to argue with you about such a trivial thing like this!!" I shouted back with all the anger that has built up in my mind. I gathered all of the empty dishes, including mine and went out of the room as I slammed the door shut behind. What is this feeling? I'm not angry at him, but more like I was angry at myself. I don't know. What's going on? I couldn't even understand what am I thinking anymore.

-

-

Ryotaro

-

I was stunned with his outburst like that. The door slammed shut as I sighed. What have I done? Why did I lose my temper like that? But whe I remeembered his face then, it was indeed anger, although I got a feeling that he wasn't mostly angry at me it was more like he was angry at himself. And the look in his eyes was what pained me the most. It was filled with sorrow and a hurtful look, like he was about to cry. But he didn't, he was holding it in. Then the image of him when he was crying in front of his parents' altar back when we were still at his house five years ago. And I have to say that I don't want to see his tears fell, ever again. It was so painful for me to watch him suffered like that, I could feel that my heart was slowly shattered into pieces when that happened. I stood up and gathered the dishes as I went out to find him, the sink was in there too. I bet he knew that but he wants to go out to avoid me. Okay, maybe that he's in the living-room. I gently opened the door and looked through the thin gap and saw that he was... washing the dishes?! The way he held the dish in his hand was gentle and soft as the other hand washed. I could tell that he didn't just start to learn how to do it recently. Although, he wasn't that focus at all. I stepped inside but he didn't even turn around to look at me, as I went to the sink and put the bowls and dishes down, he just dried his hands and walked away. I opened my mouth, trying to say something but nothing came out. I just sighe and watched him went to the couch and sat down silently.

I washed the rest of the dishes, there were only some of them left so it was quick. I put all of them onto the dish rack then direde my hands, too. I slowly walked to where he was as I stopped in front of him and looked at him.

" Len..."

" Where are my clothes?" I stared at him as he rolled his eyes to look at me.

" I've put them into the washing machine, already. Why asked?"

" I can't go wearing your clothes."

" Go?! To where?" I turned to looked at the clock. It was ten forty-five already! " At any rate, ou are not going anywhere at this time of night, alright?"

" You're talking non-sense. I can't even go back to my apartment?" He was getting a little bit annoyed.

" Where _is_ your apartment exactly?" He didn't answer that question immediately, though.

" A small town besides...Hiroshima."

" What?! Hiroshima?! Are you kidding me? That's like kilometers away! How do you expect to get there? Walking?"

" Perhaps. It's not like I can't get without your help." I clenched my teeth, he was making my blood boiled, again. Calm down. No need to make a fuss.

" Sorry, but your clothes only got in the washing machine just fifteen minutes ago. So it's not gonna be clean in a minute or two now, is it?" He looked at me with something in his eyes that confused me. A soft sigh came out from him.

" Where am I suppose to stay?"

" Here, of course. I have already prepared a room for you. Come with me." I signed him to follow me as I led him upstair to a room that I have prepared while he was in the bath.

" Stay here for now."

" But..."  
" No buts please. I want you to stay here and that's it. No more arguing."

" Ryotaro, I..." I didn't let him finish since I knew what he would say so I turned away and started to head to the door.

" Good night, Len." With that I closed the door behind me. I just wanted him to remain be my side as long as I could, I don't really know how long I could keep him. He was like the wind, just come and go without looking back. And now, the wind returned once more and I swear, I'll would never let it go again.

-

That night, I worked on my project and started to combine my work into Len's slideshow. It couldn't be any better. I thought to myself. And that was the truth, even my secretary couldn't have done this good. I sighed. It was already one o'clock in the morning. I turned off my computer then the light as well. Lyig on the bed, I closed my eyes. Suddenly, the image of Len, sitting in front of the computer and typing with a tired look on his face ack when we were still at the company flashed back into my mind. I have made him work so hard. I know well that my action was selfish and stupid but if I hadn't done that, he would have left the company. And I would have let him slipped away again. That's why. Then again, earlier, I saw him had lots of medicine, like I've said, it was much more than before. Maybe it's just like he said, the prescription changed, but... the bottle was almost out. Should I go and buy him a new one? Although, even if I wanted to, I don't know the new prescription. I sighed heavily then opened my eyes. A sudden feeling of unease washed over me. I should better go and have a check on him. I stepped out of my room and softly when to his. I put my hand onto the door knob, slightly lifted it up and gently opened the door. I peeked in from the small gap, he was aslept. I slowly went in and bent down to look at him, he looked to innocent when he is sleeping like this. I thought to myself, then after realizing when I just thought, I blushed violently. He suddenly stirred, which made me startle. His mouth was moving as he murmured something, his hand held the bed sheet tightly and sweats was rolling down from his forehead.

" _Please, someone...save me..."_


	9. Argument

_**A/N:**_

_**PLEASE READ THIS NOTE FOR EXPLAINATION**_

_I am very sorry for this long delay. This has been the worst delay ever since the day I first started to wirte fanfiction. _

_For the past month, my cousin, which returned from USA had occupied my laptop 24/24. That was the reason why I couldn't update nor write the next chapter for my readers. _

_Some of you may believe my reason and some may not. But I know that this is souly my part for not updating sooner. Again, I am sorry. I hope that all of you will forgive this mistake of mine and continue to read my fic in the future._

_And I will update the next chapter for this story _tomorrow_. _

Now, with no farther a due, please enjoy this chapter. Thank you.

_**Chapter 9:**_ Argument

-

-

-

_The sky was in a shade of deep blue. Everything was calm with the sparkling Milky Way on the sky above and the lake below reflected it. A cool breeze blew softly as I was lying on the grass, stargazing. Not even a sound was made. I closed my eyes and enjoy the peaceful evening. Then suddenly, I could feel that something changed. I opened my eyes and saw that it was raining, hard. Every drop of tears fell down from the heaven above, soaking me completely in merely a second and I realized that I was standing, not lying anymore and along with all of that, the scenery had changed just in a blink of an eye. I was on a road, it looked quite familiar as I noticed that it was the road near my house. I didn't even begin to know what was happening when a loud crushing sound of metal against some unknown thing caught my attention. That corner. Oh no. it couldn't be... I slowly when to the source of the loud noise. My heart was racing fast. I came to where I wanted to be and it was liked déjà vu all over again. _

_The color of crimson filled the surface of the road, mixing with the rain as it spred out fast. Blood was everywhere. Before my eyes was a crushed cab that had hit the street light. A broken cell phone lied there on the ground, next to two bloody bodies. My knees buckled down to the ground, although I didn't feel any pain because the pain in my heart then was far greater._

" _Outo-san! Oukaa-san!" I shouted at the top of my lungs and tears were spilling out from my eyes. It was happening all over again! I used my arms for support as I shakily stood up to run to them. Kneeling down beside my mother, I slowly reached out my hand with all of the strength I could muster and touched her. I jerked back slightly. She was so cold, her skin was freezing to the touch. I used both my hands and shook her shoulders, begging her to open her eyes. During all the time, I couldn't stop crying. My eyes widened when I saw her eyes opened and a smile of happiness curved on my lips at that moment._

_But then..._

" _It's your...fault." Mother whispered as the smile on my lips fell. " We died...because of...y-you. Because you are so...useless. I-It is... all your fault." Her words felt so hurt from way deep down inside my very soul. She stopped breathing after that but her lifeless eyes kept on staring at me, not contenting with what she said before her death. It wasn't enough. The tears that had stopped were now forming again, containing the overwhelming feeling I was having at that moment of time. _

_I sobbed. I cried as if I have never done it before. Her words hurt me so much. And my heart was bleeding because of the wound that was surfaced again after a long burial time. However, I knew, deep down I knew that what my mother said was right. Every single word was painful yet right at the same time. They died because of me, because I was so useless to let my hand damaged in such an idiotic way! It was my entire fault. I sobbed under the rain, warm tears mixed with the cold drop of rain and fell down to the ground. _

" It's your fault. We died because of you. Because you are so useless. It is all your fault."

_Oukaa-san's words kept on repeating again and again, echoed throughout my mind it felt like she was actually saying it to me even though she was long gone. Please... can someone save me... Oh, God. Every time I opened my eyes I saw her dim, hollow eyes staring straight back at mine and every time I would shiver, trembling even more. I gasped, trying to inhale air into my lungs, and then used my palm to cover my eyes, not wanting to see the scene before a second longer. I made sure my eyes closed tightly, but somehow, the image was still there didn't even fade away for a single bit. I was haunted! What did I do to deserve this? What did I do?! I reached my hands out and grabbed one of the pieces from the shattered glass window, and held it before my throat and I could feel the sharp tip pressed again my skin. I should end my life right here and now, so that I could be tortured in hell for my sin. Yes, that is where I belong, the darkest pit of Hell. I closed my eyes, ready to for a suicidal. _

_Suddenly, something warm liked a hand of someone touched my shoulder. I was startled and opened my eyes to look._

" _R... Ryotaro?" I whispered his name as he looked at me then smiled in a genuine, confident way then used his own large hands to take the piece of glass out of my own weakened grip._

'" _Don't worry. I'll get you out off here...'" With that, he gently helped me to stand up. As we walked away from this nightmare, away from this hell..._

-

-

My eyes snapped open as I gasped, desperately needed some oxygen in my lungs. Sweat rolled down my face. It was just the same old nightmare. Half of it though, because that was the first time I have ever dreamt about me not dying in that hell. And it was the first time I dreamt that he appeared in my mind. I looked around then suddenly...

" What are you doing here?" Ryotaro was sitting there, looking at me with a pair of worried eyes. Then my eyes gazed down upon my left hand, something felt so warm, it was his hand and it was holding mine. When he saw that I was looking, he immediately withdrew and turned his face away as well.

" Sorry. But...uhm... you were murmuring something in your sleep and I came in and... and..."

" Well, uhm... thank you for worrying about me. But why are still awake at this time of night?"

" Haha, the project in the company. You know, about the meeting and stuff. Yeah..." He began to laugh nervously then scratched the back of his head and stood up afterwards. " I ... I should go back to my room and get some sleep." With that, he turned away. On his way out, he stopped at the door then looked at me. " You should go back to sleep as well. You need it." Then left.

I sighed and slid my hand through my now sticky-with-sweat hair. I could not go back to sleep. Not after that nightmare. Since way back when, every time I have that nightmare, I couldn't go back to sleep after waking up because the same images and words of my mother will appear and it has haunted my mind for years now. I stood up, slowly stepped out off the bed then went to open the windows. The chill breezes of August blew in, it was cold and yet refreshing at the same time. I stood on the balcony, enjoying the cool, soothing night air as I looked up to the Moon that was hanging on the sky. Somehow, every time I woke up from a bad dream, I seemed to have the habit of looking up to the Moon and admired its beauty. Funny how my name has the meaning of Moon as well.

The look in Ryotaro's eyes flashed back into my mind. He was so worried back then, wasn't he? He was so worried about me that he sat there, holding my hand until I woke up. And it was half past one in the morning, too.

Why, though? Why did he care about me so much? We argued with each other almost every time we met back when we were still in Seiso Gakuen. But now... He was watching out for me as a friend. I know that. But somehow, I felt like there was more to it then just friends...

-

-

Ryotaro

-

A small noise woke me up from my sleep. My eyes snapped open. It came from the hallway. What was it? I got out of bed and started to go to the door slowly, and opened it. No one was there.

Even so, I still when out to check because something at the back of my mind just kept on nagging at me, demanding to have a check to make sure that things were fine. I went out as quietly as possible. Then I saw a shadow, which was going to the door. The door? Somehow, suddenly, I realized something as I stepped out from the corner.

" Stop right there. Where do you think you're going..." I stopped for a second. " Len?"

The shadow turned around. From the medium windows over at the wall, silver rays of the Moon beamed down and everything was clear. Len was standing there, looking at me over his shoulder. " It's four in the morning. Go back to sleep. Like I've said: You need it." I looked at the dark circles under his eyes; even from where I was standing, I could still see them. What was he doing?

Len didn't answer but still kept his attention at me. I know very well what he was planning to do all along. The weird thing was that I wanted to hear it straight from his lips. That was why I asked. There was a long, awkward silence between us.

" I'm leaving." He broke the silence first.

" I know that. But where?"

" My home."

" Where?"

" I told you."

" And I'll repeat what I said." I slowly went down the stairs. " How do expect to get to Hiroshima? Walking? Or taking the bus. However, I don't think the two options above fit that much into the equation, at all. Besides, the door is locked." I tried to keep my voice steady.

Len looked at me for a moment as he reached out his hand and pushed the door slightly and it opened up ajar. My eyes widened. Then Len held his hand up and between his thumb and forefinger was the emergency key.

" Where did you find it?"

" Under the dish rack."

The memory of him washing the dishes earlier appeared in my mind. I should've known that he would figure it out eventually. He was sharp, sharp at everything. Even though I hid it carefully. I didn't know whether to congratulate him or punch him in the face for finding it and using it for this. Len bent to put the key down on to the floor then turned around, but before that I saw him smiled slightly, and was filled with sadness.

Oh, no. Oh, God, no, no! He was leaving again. He was trying to leave me behind again. The wound in my heart started to hurt once more. I could already feel something slowly slipped away, out off my grasp. The nightmare was coming back. About him leaving without telling me anything like five years ago, and I could do was watching him did that helplessly. But wait. That was just an illusion, a memory that haunted my dream. And now, this was real. This was not just any nightmares anymore. This was the reality and if I won't do it now then just liked the wind, before I knew it, he would be gone. I will not let that happen!

-

-

Len

-

I smiled at him with all that I could muster then turned away. I knew that he would be sad and lonely with me gone. But he was the president of a large company. It would be hard to find friends but he would eventually have one. Or maybe he could call Hihara-senpai, that person was quite suited with Ryotaro. Even so, why did I feel it too, the feeling of loneliness slowly filled my scarred heart. Why, though? I didn't understand. We were friends.

As I was beginning to walk away, suddenly, I felt something held me. Like a déjà vu, everything was the same, just like the last time, he held me back.

" Stay." I didn't answer right away. I just couldn't find my voice, it stuck at my throat liked someone had just poured a bottle of glue into my mouth. A moment also later, I replied.

" Why? What will you do if I do not want to stay? What would you do? Binding me to the wall with your _strong_ body, again? I don't think so." I said with a cold voice. And liked me, he didn't answer, just standing there and with his face lowered.

" You left me with no other choice..." He said in a low voice, which sent a sudden chill down my spine in an instant. This wasn't good. I tried to pull away from him, but his grip tightened around my wrist. Then he reached his free hand into his pants' pocket and took out his cell phone. Beginning to dial in a number as he turned on the loudspeaker and waited for the other person to pick up. After a few rings, someone picked up. My heart was racing.

" Hello?" A woman voice spoke in a tired way.

" Miss Takeshino? It's me." Ryotaro said, expecting the woman to recognize his voice. Takeshino... It was his secretary.

" Oh! Tsuchiura-sama! My apology, sir." She almost shouted through the phone. " Uhm, why are you calling at this time, sir? Is there any problem?"

" Well, is there any spot left in the company?"

" Yes, sir. A lot as well. Let me see, twenty spots for officers..." She didn't even get chance to finish her sentence.

" No. High position spots, with high salary and all."

" No, sir. All of the seats have been taken." Her words slipped out as I let out a relive sigh. But I should have known better that Ryotaro wasn't going to give up that easily at all.

" All right. That settles it. I would make up a new position. And that is my personal assistant."

" But, sir. It is my job to be your personal assistant."

" However, I feel like you have been given too much work for just a person so I divide your job up. But don't worry, this won't seduce your salary, miss Takeshino." The woman sighed heavily liked she couldn't help it but to show her disappointment in her boss' decision.

" And who will be handling the job from now on, Tsuchiura-sama?" My eyes widened. No, he couldn't seriously mean that...

" No. No, Ryotaro." I said. But he just smirked in return.

" That would be... Mori, Mori Yuki." I was a bit stunted even though I knew full well whom he was getting at.

" Mori Yuki..." It was silent for a moment until, " But, sir. He hasn't even been officially hired, yet. How can he be..." She was cut off, again.

" Now, miss Takeshino. I had figured out a talent that can help our company go farther. Why are you objecting my decision?" He asked, making his voice sounded deadly serious but the face was nowhere near that with a wide grin ran across it.

" My apology, sir. I did not mean to do that. Although, what do you want your... personal assistant to do?" I was wondering where did this person find such a polite woman to work as his secretary.

" Uhm..." He looked at me with what you called a dirty look and smirked. " First of all, he must listen and do what I say." I could hear the sound of a pen was written on paper. She was jotting what he said down to a paper for reminder. "Follows me wherever I go incase if anything happened, he would be around to help. He has to stay with me _all the time._" He said the 'all the time' loudly and stretchy as he rolled his eyes to take a glimpse at me. "He can't leave until I say so. And he cannot quit halfway without my permission. That's it."

" Yes. I would inform him tomorrow when he comes to the company."

" Good. Then tell him to go straight into my office afterwards, okay?"

" Yes."

" Thank you and sorry for bothering you at this hour miss Takeshino. Good night, then. See you in the morning."

" Not at all, sir. I am just glad that I can assist you in anything I can. And good night to you, too, sir." He hung up, and then looked at me.

" Do you really expect me to go to your company tomorrow?"

" Well, I expect that you'll leave..."

" Then why tell her to do that?"

" You didn't let me finish my sentence. As I was saying. I expect that you'll leave, but I won't let you." Using his free hand to grab my other wrist as he pushed me to the wall. " Do you really think that I'll let you off the hook that easily?" He whispered into my ear and I could feel each breath on my skin. He was just an inch away.

" Then, I'll ask this: Do you think I will let you do whatever you please with me, Ryotaro?"

" Yes."

" Never." I hissed between my teeth.

" I'll MAKE you." Ryotaro's voice was low, slightly growling and husky. His amber eyes were glowing with determination. He _was_ serious. " And to tell you something, the architectures designed this house, but I am its owner. So I don't think you can leave that easily." He suddenly pulled me out of the wall I was leaning against and traced his hand on it as though trying to find something in the dark.

" Got it." Nothing was there, but when you looked closer and try to be careful, you won't miss the detail that there was a button there as Ryotaro pushed it. Slowly, a device, which looked quite similar to the computer but smaller appeared behind a part of the wall, had been laid down beneath it. And Ryotaro started to type some unknown codes into it.

" Voice Identification." The computer stated which surprised for a second since it wasn't exactly morning and neither of us spoke.

" Tsuchiura Ryotaro." He said slowly as if trying to convince the machine that he was its owner.

" Voice-key correct." After that he typed in some more codes, which I didn't see what they were because I was behind his back and he still has his hand on my arm since he was typing with only one hand.

Then he turned around to face me with his now wider smirk a moment after. And that smirk of his showed me nothing but an uncomfortable feeling squirming inside my stomach.

" I have activated a system that would only allow the entrance which is the gate and this door to be opened whenever the device detects my one and only voice." I frowned, I knew something like this was bound to happen.

" So I suppose that you are trying to imprison me in your house?" I just simply stated out the summary of what had happened for the past minutes and he nodded in return.

" I told you that I would make you stay, did I? You didn't believe me so I have to use the last measure."

" Oh. What an honor. For me to make the president of the AS such as yourself to come to the last measure." I said in a cold and bitter way.

" So what? It doesn't matter. As long as you don't plan on going anywhere else then this is my chosen option to bind your feet down. And I'll personally drive you to work."

" Excuse me? I do have my own life you know, Ryotaro? Go and live yours and stop poking your nose into my life."

" What? Me. Poking. In. Your. Life?"

" That's right. If you can't recall then let me say this again, I do have a place to return to, all right?" I was trying to keep my cool with this persistent guy.

" And how do I know that so called 'place to return to' is not a slum and you have to sleep on the street, huh?" He stopped briefly, and anger was now visible in his voice as he continued. " Look at yourself! What have you been doing for the last five years?! Living on the streets with these wracked, worn-out clothes on you. You look like a walking stick with only skin to cover your bones and your skin is as pale as snow. Sometimes, I don't even know if you were a human or a ghost. Did you see the dark circles under your eyes, Len? Due to the lack of sleep, I suppose. What did you do instead of sleep at night? Going around on the streets and begging people who walked by to give you some money? And God damn it! You don't even play that violin anymore. Heck! I don't think you even have with you anymore. Did you sell it for food or did you throw it somewhere and leave it to be forgotten in some dirty corners?!" I could feel that the blood inside of me was boiling up. Never before have I ever been this angry. I wanted to yell back him, telling him that he was wrong but nothing came out. Then I noticed something, I couldn't find my voice or rather, I didn't know what to say to him.

Not anymore.

-

Ryotaro

-

I shouted loudly at Len with everything that came across my mind without even thinking through it, pouring every bit of anger that had built up for the last five years onto him. I finished as I inhaled in lungs full of oxygen. Then, after realizing what have I been saying into Len's face. My eyes widened.

Len was standing with his head lowered, letting the bangs to cover most of his face. His hands were formed into fists and I could see that his shoulders were slightly trembling as he was trying to shield his emotion away. What have I done? Why did I say such things to him? I wanted to say something, but the words were stuck at my throat. What was I supposed to say to him after what I just did? Then as sudden as ever. He turned around.

His back now was facing me as he proceeded to walk away.

" L-Len..." I managed to choke out as I reached out my hand, wanting to hold him back. But I couldn't. I didn't have the right to do that at the moment. Although, he, on the other hand, has the right to leave.

" My apology for waking you up at this hour,... Tsuchiura-san." The words sank into my mind slowly. His voice was cold, covered by a thick layer of ice. And the '_Tsuchiura-san_' part hurt me the most. Indeed it did. Deeply. " I will be back to the room you have allowed me to stay in, now." With that he walked away, quietly and swiftly. And all I could do was to stand there speechless and stared at his back until his figure eventually disappeared around the corner. Oh God, what had I done?

Going back to my room as I passed through his, no point in knocking at his door and ask for forgiveness now. I needed to wait until he is calmer and more collected with his thought. Hah! I'm the one to talk about calmness. And I was the one who made him this mad anyway. Why did I have to have such big mouth? What was I thinking shouting at him like that without even thinking through it first? I threw myself down to my bed with hundreds question racing through my mind. Today, the bed was uncomfortable in a strange way.

-

I opened my eyes when the smell of cooking food went flying into my room. Have I been sleeping? I sat up and looked at the clock. It was five to six. I have been alsept for about an hour, already? I climbed out of the bed slowly and went to the bathroom to do some personal hygiene then went downstairs to find the source of the smell.

Peering through the gap on door to the kitchen, yet again. I saw Len was standing there with two plates in his hands as he set them down to the table. He cooked? Tsukimori Len actually cooked?! I didn't believe my eyes. All I wanted to do then was to step in and see what he had made, but thinking about the mistake I made just an hour ago stopped my feet from moving. For the first time in five years, I felt guilty and wished to undo what I did. That had never happened before, until now.

" Are you going to come in or not?"

I was startled by his voice suddenly spoke up then turned pale. He knew that I was there? How? I thought that I was being really quiet when I came down. How weird. I pushed the door slightly then poked my head inside first to find that he was looking at me with his arms folded in front of his chest. A nervous laugh slipped out from my mouth as I scratched the back of my head and went in. So much for being quiet. I stared at the plate in front of me after sitting down to my seat. Fried eggs, bacon and some fried sauces. It looked pretty tasty, actually. Then I focused my eyes on him. He pulled out a chair and sat down.

" I took delivery of cooking something for breakfast without your permission. I am sorry." He said in his usual cold tongue.

" Iie! It was nice of you to cook me breakfast. I appreciate it." I answered him as I noticed that his lips were slightly opened as if he was trying to give me a reply for that answer of mine but he suddenly stopped. That clearly showed that he was still quite angry at me for what had happened earlier. I sighed inwardly. Picking up the knife and fork besides the plate, I started to eat and so did Len. I wasn't that surprised when the food was actually editable since it looked so good. But I couldn't deny how shocked I was when I saw him cooking by himself. Well, I should have known better, he is Tsukimori Len. If he could wash the dishes, then he should know how to cook, too, right?

I stared at him most of the time during meal, of course without his acknowledgement. He swiftly ran his knife across the egg and cut it to a size that fit his mouth. His fingers were holding the knife in an elegant way that was hard to describe, it was liked... he was just holding something light liked a threat or something and not the metal object anymore. Len was so perfect. With slim, tall figure; azure-haired color, pale skin; elegant face, high-bridge nose, shining amber orbs, intelligent and talented... Everything about him was perfect, everything. The more I think about it, the more surreal he was towards me. He was perfection himself.

What is this feeling I have? Why do I want to hold him back? To keep him in my arms? To hold him tight? I didn't understand what was going on anymore. Was it... was it l-

" Why are you staring at me?" I was startled, again! My chain of thought was cut off.

" Oh, uhm... nothing." This was a chance to apologize to him. " Uhm, Len." I called but instead he just gathered up the dishes, including mine, and went to the sink to wash them, not bothering to turn around or reply to my call. I sighed. I have to say sorry directly to him or else it would be meaningless and he won't accept it. But that pride of his was just too large to forgive me that fast.

" Len. Let me help you with the dishes." I offered, but he just shook his head slightly and continued with what he was doing. C'mon! How was I supposed to apologize when you will not let me? Frustration washed over me. I knew that it was my fault that he was angry with me, I had hurt his pride but... Another sighed slipped out. I needed to think of a plan. I thought to myself then turned around, going back to my room to get change and ready for work, since it wasn't that early anymore. I would try to think up something when I change or on the way to the company.

-

" Let's go, Len." I said after ten minutes to put on a vest, I did not concentrate that when I tie the necktie and it turned out to be a mess, so I had to redo it again. That was why it took so long. Sitting on the sofa silently without making any sudden moves liked a perfect doll, Len stood up and went out along with me.

" Open." I said aloud.

" Voice Identification correct." The door opened and we walked out.

The engine started as I drove us both to my company. Neither of us talked on the way there. Sometimes I looked at Len from the corner of my eyes from the driver seat. He was just liked last night, sitting there and stared out the window, at nothing in particular and he was slightly rubbing his left hand. It was acting up again because I saw it twitched on its own, or at least I thought so.

" D-Did you take your medication?" I said hesitantly and he replied with a nod. And that was it. No more talking between us. Has the car been this hot before? I was about to lower the temperature but when I looked at him, I stopped since I was afraid that he would be cold because he had nothing that will keep him warm beside his shirt and the pants. The road was long, so long that I thought I would never reach my company.

-

I opened the door into the hallway with Len behind my back. Takeshino showed up to bid me a good morning and do something that I had told her to a few hours before. Then I let she did what she was suppose to do, telling Len what his 'duty' was. And the guy looked really irritated, I didn't know was it because she said too much or because she was repeating what I said, which he has already heard. But then when I just stepped into the office, a plan suddenly popped up in my mind. I smiled, but I hoped it'd work, though.

I waited in my office, starting to do whatever I could before activating my plan. Knocks were heard on the door.

" Come in." Len stepped in and he wasn't looking good or anything. Maybe Takeshino had said too much. " Uhm, would you mind sitting at the sofa over there? Since I haven't bought your desk, yet." He stared at me with questioning eyes. " Oh, you're gonna work with me in my office from now on, okay? So, that way you can help me out immediately when I need you." I smiled brightly, trying to lighten up his mood. However, he just went to the sofa over at the right side of the room from where I was and sat down. I sweat-dropped. He could be really cold when he needed to. I was almost forgotten about his infamous icy attitude and he just reminded me.

" Hey. Wait here for me when I go out and have a talk with my secretary, okay?" Another nod received, not even bothering to give a simple reply of 'yes'. I sighed inwardly then went outside. Nothing has happened, yet. But that attitude of his has made me started to doubt my plan, already. Oh, man.

-

" Len!" I rushed into the room and called out his name. I must have startled the guy since he was staring at me with wide eyes. I smiled again then went to grab his hand.

" We're taking a day off." I said cheerfully as he looked at me, the same cold expression didn't change. " Let's go." I pulled him out but he shook my hand off. Now it was my turn to stare but suddenly realize why he did that I stopped and signed him to follow. The people in the office heard the commotion I was making as they looked up but luckily, Len has already pulled his hand out of mine so they didn't see anything. Telling him to get into the car as I drove us away.

" I'm taking you to a place to have fun." I said, knowing that he'll ask about it as I received an awkward look from him. " It has been a long time since I last spent some quality time with you. So I thought that, why don't I just do it now with you by my side before I have a chance to regret." That moment, his eyes suddenly softened for a brief moment but then the cold masked it away. _'Maybe this will work after all.'_ I thought to myself then continued to drive to our destination.

-

The broad read: " THE AMUSEMENT PARK"

I stopped the car in front of the gate as both of us went out. Len stared at the broad for a while then turned around, about to get back into the car.

" Hey! Where are you going?" I asked but he didn't answer liked any other time. " C'mon. We have come all the way here, why don't just go in and have some fun." Len turned around and raised an eyebrow.

" I am not going in." He finally spoke up. I was very delight to hear his voice but it wasn't the right moment to celebrate.

" Why?" I saw him sighed. Then turned around to face me completely.

" We are not little children anymore. Therefore, if you still think that you are a kid then go in. But don't expect me to follow." His eyes were burning serious, which made me gulp. But, I wasn't going to give up that easily.

" Really now. You don't wanna go in? Okay. But well, I thought that you were much bolder then that. I bet that you are scared that when you come in, you won't know anything, which is going on in there, and I do then you have to follow and ask me what to do, right? That's the main reason why you don't want to come in, right?" I said, using a mocking voice. I knew that what I said was touchy, especially with a guy that has such a high pride and ego liked Len himself, but that was my last option to choose if I want to force him in there.

I looked at him and I was surprised when I saw that his amber eyes were looking at me with a disturbing look of challenging as he... smirked!

" Go and park the car before it is stolen." His voice was cold, demanding yet challenging at the same time. It seemed that my tactic worked. Well, it bound to. I mean, not anyone could stand what I said without going mad or, in his case, accept the challenge. I parked the car in the parking lots. Not many cars, not as many as the weekends, since it was weekday. I returned hurriedly and saw that Len was holding to small tickets in his hand and gave me one as I approached. Now, it was my turn to smirk. He was accepting this better then I imagined.

We entered the gate, the amusement park was large and filled with lots of game. This was good. But when I turned to look at him, he looked bored, which killed my eagerness.

" Let's go." I told him and we both walked farther into the park without having any ideas what the heck should we do first. I know that this was my plan but I haven't thought it through that clearly, since I didn't have enough time. Many people were here, but no doubt this wasn't even half of the crowd that came here on the weekend. But I have to admit one thing this place has a various amount of fun games. It was one of Japan's most famous amusement parks, after all. Quite a high reputation if it didn't have anything interesting to look at. I went to the stand that was near the gate and took a map as I opened it to have a look. It has been a very long time since the last time I went here. It was years ago, so I didn't remember well what it has.

As I was reading, I reached out my hand and slowly trying to find where was Len's and grabbed it without even looking.

" C'mon. Let's go this way first." I dragged him behind me and read the map at the same time.

" Listen, I can walk by myself." I stopped when I heard what he said. " I don't need you to drag me everywhere we go." He was frowning irritately.

" Well, it's your fault for not following me in the beginning. I was having an idea of you running off and leaving me in here, looking like an idiot." He folded his arms in front of his chest and raised an eyebrow, looking at me with the do-you-think-I-am-going-to-do-that expression.

" Okay, okay. I'm sorry for doubting you, Len. Now, let's get going."

We went to 'Game House' first, which was filled with mini games. We played a lot after buying like dozens of coins to put in the machine, well I played a lot, not we. But the weird thing was I've never won a single game that involved stuffed animals and grabbing machine. Never did. Not even one toy. And I have used up almost all of the coins I bought to play that game! When I was getting pretty frustrated, suddenly, someone pushed me aside. It was Len. He took one of the coins from my hand and put into the hole as he was starting to push the buttons.

" Hah! As if you can do it. Even I can't." He turned to glared at me sharply from the corner of his eyes as it sent a chill down my spine. And before I knew it he put in three more coins to put in the machine, I was about to laugh, thinking that he lost and tried to play some more to prove that he was better then me until four stuffed toys was placed into my hands, unexpectedly. My eyes widened in disbelief. What the... When? How? I was dumbfound for second or two before my brain told me what to do as I spun around and saw that Len was up ahead, only a few meters from me.

" Let's get moving." He said as my feet followed what he told me as we exited the Game House. Oh, man. Just when I thought he couldn't do it, turned out he could. I sighed. I asked for a bag to put the toys in as we passed through some other stands on the way out. And I saw a stand that required the player to use a fake gun to shoot at the pile of cans that had been neatly placed one on another. I suggested that we should go in there then walked to it immediately afterwards with Len not replying anything, just simply followed my footsteps. I gave the stand keeper enough money for both of us to play. I shot down three pyramids of cans and felt pretty proud myself until I heard the keeper said.

" Five pyramids. Excellent. You broke the record!" Len was looking indifferent at the cheering man in front of him as though nothing happened. Then the man went inside to get a huge stuffed bear, which surprisingly was looking quite similar with its new owner with white fur and a blue heart on its belly. It has a color of Len's skin and hair. I wondered was it just a coincident or the old man just chose it to match with Len. The guy tried to refuse the price saying something about his place didn't have space for such a large stuffed bear but the man kept on insisting until Len gave up and took the bear. I laughed a lot when I looked at him holding an oversized bear in his arms and how his cheeks slightly flushed when some girls walked by and squealed about how cute the bear was and about how he got it.

" You're quite lucky today, you know. Normally, not anyone could win these games." I commented but received no reply. Maybe, he was still upset about what I said. Then let's have some more fun!

I led him to play many other games. Like Coffee Cups when we just sat in there and I started to spin the wheel wildly until the staffs outside had to pick up the loud speaker and tell me to stop before I broke something. Then to the Mirror House as I walked in there and found out one thing, I've never realized that I was that ugly before! I laughed liked there was no tomorrow when Len walk to me and tell me to stop laughing if I didn't want to pay for the damage of breaking the mirrors because the sound waves that were created from my laughter...

-

-

_Lunch time..._

-

I gasped for air. Running around from one game to another almost worn me out. Luckily, the restaurant was nearby to the last game we played so here I was breathing in out to take back my breath and Len? He sat there quietly, watching the scenery, not even showing a bit of concern for me. I sighed then stood up.

" I'll go buy something to eat. What do you want to eat?" I asked, looking at him and my mind was yelling me to go and buy something fast because I was starving.

" Anything is fine." I nodded then turned around to go and order something until I found myself hitting against something or rather someone that made me have to take a few steps backwards to balance myself out.

" Man. The soda I just bought." I heard one of them said as I opened my eyes and saw a cup of soda was spilling all over on the floor.

" I'm so sorry. I didn't look where I was going. Let me get you a new one." I apologized to the person from the group, not wanting to cause trouble since it was my fault and I didn't want to spoil the rest of the day with Len.

" _Is that you, Tsuchiura?"_

-

-

-

_To be continued..._

_**A/N:**_ How was the chapter? Was it good? Please review. Thanks. See you again tomorrow! Ja-ne.


	10. Fear

_**A/N:**_ Hi, guys. Even though I said that I would be updating yesterday, but it was a struggle to think about whether I should change the course of the story or not and then many guesses came to my house since it is new year in my country after all so I didn't update liked I had promised. I'm sorry. It seems that I have been breaking many promises these days with you guys. Therefore, I'm sorry, again. Anyway, I changed the course of the story but the title didn't change since I don't want to confuse you guys. Well, have fun with the story!

-

_**Chapter 10:**_ Fear

-

-

" Is that you, Tsuchiura?" The guy asked as I looked up and stared at him with widened eyes.

" H-Hihara-senpai?"

" Yup! The one and only! But stop the 'senpai' thingy, please. I'm not you senior anymore." The guy smiled brightly. The same as always I guessed. And when I looked behind his back, the others were there, too. Yunoki-senpai, Shimizu, Fuyuumi and even Kanazawa-sensei were there, too.

" What are you guys doing here?" I asked, still couldn't believe my eyes.

" Well, we accidentally bumped into each other on the streets when Yunoki here and I were about to have a nice chat until we met the couple over there," Hihara-senpai used his thump to point at Shimizu and Fuyuumi and made them blush. " Then saw the old man here was standing at the vending machine to buy a cigarette bag."

" Who are you calling an old man, huh?!"

" Hahaha, just kidding sensei!"

" Don't call me sensei, I'm not you teacher anymore. Just like what you said to Tsuchiura a few minutes ago."

" Okay. I have to admit that it really bugs me not calling you sensei, sensei." Everybody sweat-dropped then burst into laughter. Hihara will always be Hihara I guess, even though he has grown up to be a tall and mature-looking adult, he still has spirit of a kid.

" Hey, who is your friend over there?" Someone suddenly asked as I stopped laughing immediately and turned around to look at him, Len hasn't moved from his spot, just sitting there liked a statue. I don't blame him, though. Five years without any contacts. He must have known that these guys were desperately looking for him liked I did, too.

" Azure hair color, huh? That reminds me of..." The cheerful senpai stopped as he stepped closer to look and so did the others. " No. It can't be..."

" There's no point in hiding anymore, you know." I said aloud and I could send that Len was shooting me a glare, half-hearted, though. And at that point, he turned around, facing the rest of the people he had left behind years ago. They all gasped, staring wide-eyed at him in shock.

" Ts-Tsukimori?" Yunoki managed to speak up.

" Konbanwa, mina-san." Len said quietly, still keeping that same face and that same cold tongue of his.

" It really is you!" Hihara shouted, sounding quite delightful. And with that almost everybody jumped in to ask him question, well, just Hihara-senpai to be exact. But just his mouth only was enough to fill in for the others. He asked so many questions at the same time and I could see that Len was starting to get confuse, so I jumped in to help.

" C'mon. Let's talk while we have lunch."

" Good idea. I'm starving!" With that, the guy ran off to the counter. We came along to order something, too. I returned to the table first and place one of the trays in my hand in front of Len who was starting to daze outside of the fast-food restaurant.

" An over-sized hamburger with extra cheese and meat and a large soda." He stared at the tray then to me. " Well, you said it yourself: 'Anything is fine'. So don't complain, yours is the same as mine. If I can eat it then so, can you. Remember the same age rule?"

" Even though we are the same age, but my stomach is not as empty and large as you."

" Just eat up. It's your fault for not telling me what you want to have. So do NOT complain." I said the word loud and stretched it as long as I could. And Len sighed in defeat as he continued to stare at the hamburger in front of him. The scene made me want to laugh, but I held it back.

Len tried to squeeze the hamburger down, but it was no use thanks to the two thick layers of meat inside. The guy finally took it into his hand and hesistately tried to bite it. One piece was finally in his mouth as the ketchup and cheese started to drip out as he swiftly grabbed the napkin and cover his mouth. It was liked a struggle between him and the oversized hamburger. I couldn't help it but to laugh. He frowned and looked at me with a clearly irritated look. The guy stood up and went to the counter as the others returned with their own trays of food and sat down around the table as I pulled Len's tray over to the seat next to me and let the guys filled in the rest of the empty seats. It turned out that they bumped into each other at a nearby café shop and Hihara-senpai suggested that it has been quite awhile since they hung-out with each other so they decided to go to this amusement park.

" Tsukimori hasn't changed at all, it seems." Yunoki, who has his hair all tied up into a long ponytail said calmly.

" Yeah, he looksh the sh-ame as alwaysh." Hihara replied.

" Can you please talk when you have finished swallowing your food? Gosh." Kanazawa said in frustration.

" Although he doesn't seem to be as open as before. Quite reserve even for Len." Yunoki added in.

" He looks kind of thin. Has he been eating well, Tsuchiura-senpai?" The sleepy boy asked.

" How should I know? I've only been with him since yesterday...afternoon!"

" How did you meet him, anyway?" With only one question, Kanazawa caught everyone attention, but instead it was focus on me, not him.

" Well, we met each other when he came to my company and applied his application, he wanted to enroll to be a staff member in the office and..." I was cut off.

" Wait! Wait a minute! Len enrolled to be a STAFF MEMBER in the OFFICE of YOUR company?"

" Don't shout like that Hihara-senpai! And yes, he did. As I was saying, I gave a test to test the new employees, including Len, which I didn't know that he was in five of those people and he passed my test easily. Then I called him into my office to see his face and that's when we met."

" Okay. So how come you didn't know that it was him?" The sensei asked which was what everybody has on their mind. Way the go, sensei. Every time you spoke up, you just hit the target.

" Because he took on a different name: Mori Yuki." They all fell into silence. I bet that they must be wondering why he left in the first place, why did he enroll into my company instead of doing something involved music since playing the violin wasn't the only way for him to become a musician and why did he change his name. So many questions and even I myself didn't even have the answer to one of them. I sighed heavily. The tension was growing as everybody was thinking about what was going on with Len when suddenly, Yunoki-senpai broke the silence.

" Mori Yuki, huh? 'Mori' is in term for '_Tsuki__mori__'_ and 'Yuki' is in term for '_Snow'_. Well, his skin is as pale as snow I guess. That's what I think anyway." The youngest son of the Yunoki family smiled. I think he was right. Perhaps with the 'Tsukimori' part but 'Yuki'? I didn't think so.

" Yuki is snow." The words suddenly slipped out of my lips. " Winter is the only season which has snow because it is so cold. I think he means that he's cold and...frozen in the snow." They all stared at me as I spoke, I could feel that my cheeks were burning up. " Tha-That's what I think, though!" I said then laughed nervously. Why the heck did I just say that for?! Baka! Just then, I saw Len returned to the table.

" What took you so long?" I asked.

" The girl was too busy talking on the phone with someone that I have to call her five times until she heard me."

" What did you get?" I looked down at his hand. " A knife and a fork?" I raised an eyebrow to look at him.

" I cannot possibly eat this with my bare hands." Then he looked around to find that his seat has been taken by Fuyuumi as I pointed him the seat besides me. As he went over and sat down, slowly cleaning the metal knife and fork to make sure that they were clean enough to be used, as he cut the hamburger up into pieces that would fit his mouth.

After finished eating it, Len's face turned into a strange shade of green. Maybe I have been going a little over boat when I forced him to eat the huge thing. Now he looked like he was going to throw up everything. But somehow, he managed to keep it down as we paid for lunch. I insisted Len that he should let me pay since he was the one who bought the tickets.

The whole gang joined up together again and this time, instead of me, Hihara-senpai was doing the guiding job. He looked at the map and jumped up and down when he found something interesting as he led us quite a long way almost to the end of the theme park. Then we saw a place called '3-D Dimension' and our guide was saying something about this was the newest game that has just installed yesterday, he saw the news on the internet but didn't have the chance to go to it until now. Since liked I have said, it was weekday so not many people were there so the line was short, soon, it was our turn. The game was new, yet, it was quite simple. You need to choose one out of five selections that were given and then go into the special room and put on a special designed device, which have been placed inside the room and then unleash your imagination. The time limit is five minutes. The five selections to choose were:

+ Legend of the Heroes

+ Dinosaur's Age

+ What is your fear?

+ Speed Racer

+ Japan's History

We did know which selection to choose since they were all interesting, except for Len, he didn't really care, so we just went and see what will happen in the given order, without bothering to choose.

Yurok went in first and five minutes after, he went out with a smile across his face and said that it was quite interesting and made Hihara wanted to go in even more. After the time limit, my so-called senpai went running out, shouting how cool, and awesome it was with special effects and all. The people around were trying to control their laugh and all of us have to sigh about how childish he acted. With that, Kanazawa-sensei went in, five minutes later, he went out and said that it was very nice with all of Japan's most important moments in history were summarized down in just five minutes without making us felt short. I excitedly went in since Shimizu and Fuyuumi stayed out of this game. The room was dark and in the middle of it have a small table and a chair as I sat down and saw a device on the table with a line that said, 'Please put this 3-D Dimension on your head.' I did what it said, the room lightened with the wall surrounded me turned out to be screens, and the word appeared, 'Speed Racer'. The...3-D Dimension started to press against my skin a bit tighter than before and a small screen of its own began to lower down in front of my eyes.

-

I felt liked I have been pulled into a whole new world through the screen or something and then I found myself sitting in a racing car and was wearing suit that was suppose to be worn by racers.

" 3...2...1..." I didn't even know what to do in this situation when I heard somebody said. " GO!" I have no other choice except to drive the car. The track up ahead wasn't looking so good and there were many racers, too. However, all I have to do was to beat them all and I won the price. It was tough since all I could see in front of me was just cars and cars, when I thought I had passed one, another one came across my way. Damn it! Even in the racing car, I could still hear the crowd shouting non-stop and the voice of the MC.

" Tsuchiura just had quite a slow start. Will he make it and win the price like we thought he would?" Damn it! Shut up! There was enough pressure as it is. I didn't need you to poke in, too.

" Come on, Ryotaro! You can do it!" Someone shouted and the voice was familiar. I turned over to the side and saw my family amongst the crowd and..._him._ My speed went up to over 100 kilometers per hour and I could barely see anything in front of me anymore, everything was just a blur. I drove through the other racers easily with the speed and will power I had at that moment. But then, there was a commotion in front of me, two cars had hit each other on the track and they were just right up ahead. What should do? I was so close to win as well. No. I was going to win, not close. I sped up even more and my eyes saw nothing anymore. Although, the only thing I knew then was that I was _flying_ through a trace of thick black smoke and the crash was just below. I was FLYING! The crowd gasped in disbelief as I landed roughly on my four tires and pushed the break under my foot. The car stopped with a loud, uncomfortable sound and I...crossed the line! I stepped out of the car, took off my helmet and said hello to the crowd and heard their cheering, shouting my name. Sweat rolled down my face non-stop just liked the cheering as I looked around. Suddenly, someone touched my from behind as I was startled and jerked around to see who it was.

" Len!" It was my turn to shout with excitement filled my voice. He stood there for a moment, his face was icy cold but just a second later his lips curved into a warm smile as his eyes softened.

" You won." He whispered, still keeping that smile on his face.

" Of course I would. But... without you, maybe I would've lost..."

-

" The time limit is up." I suddenly snapped out of whatever it was and stood up, taking the device of my head and set it back to the table. Sweats were running down my neck. That...dream (?) seemed so real and I was sweating as well. Everything felt very real. And I thought this was just a set up program, if it was then why did Len appear in it? The machine couldn't have known him, could it? I was a bit confused as I went out.

" Hey, Len. It's your turn!" I said to him when I walked out. The guy looked at me for a while. " Do you need me to repeat what I said?" I stated rather than asked. Then I could see some hesitation in his movement as he proceeded to go passed me and into the dark room and the door closed behind me. I turned to the staffs that were standing there, observing and asked. " How those this device of yours work?"

" Well, like I have said it..."

" No. Not about that but about how it could show the person who is using it the image of the people in he or she's life? I mean, it's just a set up program, right?"

" Yes. It is a set up program, but the device that you wore on your head will start to give out electric waves..." She suddenly stopped as I looked at her. Ohhh. I understood now.

" It's okay. I'm not going to steal your idea or anything, so don't worry. I'm just a curious customer about why I saw my family in there." I explained, hoping that the girl would believe me since I wasn't even lying.

" Uhm... The device will send out electric waves and the brain will receive it and give back its own waves and the image in your mind is going to appear on the screens."

" Wow, that's cool." I whispered to myself then I remembered something. " By the way, can you tell me what the next selection is? I forgot."

" It is, 'What is your Fear?'." The girl said simply as I nodded in acknowledgement. What is your Fear, huh? I wonder what Len would be afraid of. Fire, perhaps? Since it could melt his icy heart. I laughed secretly to myself. Until something flashed through my mind and stopped my laughter immediately. Wait! What Len was fear of?! I ran back to the staff.

" Stop!" I shouted. " Stop the machine immediately!"

" What's going on, Tsuchiura?" Hihara asked but I ignored him and continued on telling the girl to stop.

" Please, you need to stop the device immediately or else, something bad will happen!" I told her but she just shook her head.

" Please, it will only last for three more minutes so your friend will be coming out soon. Besides, the machine is programmed to stop automatically after five minutes so we cannot stop it from the outside."

" No! You don't understand. What he fears the most is..." I was cut off by a loud scream, which was coming from inside the room. " Len. Oh, no.." I turned back to the girl. " At least open the door to the damn room if you can't turn it off!" I shouted into her face as she turned pale and ran to the control panel to open the door as I rushed in.

I stared in shock with my eyes widened. Oh, God. I was too late... And a taxi was crash against the street light appeared on the screens. The crimson color of blood was flowing out from the crash and the red liquid was mixed with the rain. A familiar broken cell phone was lying on the ground next to it was a hand with pale skin. A woman was lying there in a pool of her own blood. Hamai Misa. Her body was lying there and besides her was Len's father, who have already...dead.

" Outo-san. Oukaa-san..." I turned to see Len was kneeling on the ground with his hands holding his head.

" Len!" I ran to him and bent down besides him. His eyes were widened, filled with fear and shock, his lips were twitching non-stop, whispering something.

" Please, stop. Stop it. I don't want to see it!" He was frightened for sure as I put my hands on his shoulders.

" Len. Calm down. It's okay." I said but it seemed that it didn't help much. His mask was cracked or rather broken at this point. Now, he was so small, so fragile. And I was afraid that he would break in my arms any minutes.

" Oh, Kami-sama." Someone said as I looked up. The others had come in and they were staring wide-eye at the replaying scenes from Len's memories at the night of his mother and father's death. I figured that they must be frightened, it wasn't a very nice scene at all.

I used my hands, trying to take the device off his head before he has another shock from the past.

" Don't do it! If you take it of now, it'll damage his brain." Kanazawa said, stopping me from taking of that thing. " The staff said that the device send waves to the brain and vice versa, right? If you take it off now, the waves will be cut off too abruptly and it will damage his brain." I looked at the sensei then back to Len. I didn't know what to do. What the teacher said was right but Len looked like he was in very much pain.

The clutch of his hands onto the sides of his head got tighter and tighter by the moment and a series of memories about what happened flashed through the screens liked some kind of recording. Len was starting to tremble quite badly. This flashback wasn't doing him any good.

" Listen, Len. Please, try to calm down. It's going to be okay. So please, try to calm your mind down." I said and shook his shoulders at the same time. " Are you listening to me?" I shouted, wanting to reach his mind. He shakily looked up at me. My heart twisted when I saw his amber eyes filled with fear and sorrow, I could see that tears were starting to form at the corner of his eyes. He was still very much haunted by the death of his parents.

" R-Ryotaro... B-but it was my fault. I was the reason why they died! It should have been me that night! But...but..." I pulled him into my arms, embraced him tightly, and began to rub his back, trying to ease the pain in his heart.

" Sshh... don't say that. It wasn't your fault that your parents died. The police had investigated and said that the accident occurred because the road was slippery and the driver was driving faster than he should. That was the reason why they passed away. Remember this, it wasn't your fault."

" But the more I think about it, the more I see that it was my fault. If I had not damaged my hand, if I had looked where I was going then they won't have to replace me in my concerts and that night they wouldn't have died. It should have been me!" The grasps of my hands on him were getting tighter and tighter with every word that he managed to choke out. I kind of understood the pain he was feeling because I too, had felt the feeling of loosing someone that was important when he left. However, that pain could not possibly compare to his.

" The time limit is up." I was waiting for that as I grabbed the device and threw the thing away from him. And the damn thing was do hot, too. I helped Len to stand up then led him outside. The guy turned pale ( even if that was possible ) as he pulled himself out of my arms and tried to run as fast as he could to the nearest toilet.

" I had never imagined that their death was so horrifying. And he had to see it all in front of his eyes, too." Kanazawa-sensei said with a hint of pity and sadness in his voice and I just nodded. " He doesn't look that well. Maybe, you should bring him home so he could take some medicine." The teacher suggested.

" Sure. You're right, I really should do that. But first, let me check on him to see him he's okay or not." After that, I went to the rest room in the restaurant to find him. The sound of vomiting. I went in and saw that he was throwing up everything that he had put inside his stomach until then. I sighed heavily. All the blood must have made him feel sick as I walked over to his side and gently rubbing his back.

After a while, he stopped throwing up as he wiped his mouth shakily with the back of his hand and opened the tap so the water could wash away all that was left of the food in his stomach. Then splashed some of the water onto his face.

" Are you all right?" I asked worrily and received a nod.

" I'm sorry." He said suddenly and it confused me.

" For what?"

" For being emotional."

" What?! Well, you don't have to say sorry you know. After all, seeing all of that flashed back through your mind must have been very painful. Nobody blames you. It was just a natural thing to feel and it was natural to express it, especially in your case." I got the feeling of déjà vu all over again, since I had said almost the same thing to him five years ago at his parents' funeral. " C'mon. Let's get you back home, okay? You don't look so well at all." He didn't say nor do anything to reply, instead, just quietly followed me out of the toilet.

Both of us said good-bye to the others and I promised to keep in touch. Then we went to the parking lots until some of the staff members in the theme park came running after us and apologized for what happened at the 3-D Dimension game. Len didn't say anything at all. He was all quiet and it was quite chilling to see him did that even though this time, I wasn't the one who made him liked that. The engine started as I drove away.

" Where's your house, Len?" I asked, breaking the awkward silence. Len was still looking quite pale as he turned to look at me with questioning eyes.

" Why do you ask?"

" I was thinking that you would like to be at your own house rather than mine, right? Or am I wrong?" He didn't answer then look away, outside the window, again. A few minutes or two later he suddenly said.

" Turn right there." I looked at him then did what I was told to do. And on the rest of the way I followed the direction he showed me. It took us quite a while until we reached the outskirt of Hiroshima, it was a long distance.

" You can drop me here, Ryotaro." Len said quietly as I stopped the car and he used his hand to open the door over at his side.

" Wait. Where exactly do you live?" I poked out from the window and asked then saw Len pointed his finger at the corner over at the end of the street. " Let me take you there." I offered.

" No. I can get there myself, thank you. You should go home, now. It's getting late." With that, he turned then walked away. At the same time, I turned the car around and drove away.

-

Len

-

The sound of Ryotaro's car faded as I looked over my shoulder to check. He was nowhere in sight. That was when I turned around, heading to the opposite direction of the street. I did not want him to know where I lived. It would only make things more complicated with him going back and forth to my place. I sighed, sinking my hands into my pocket and walked farther into the dark alley. Turning from right to left a few times before I went out of the alley into a slightly wider road as I went to a nearby building with two floors. The building itself was a bit run down, but it was still good enough to live in. I reached out my hand to the doorknob when the images of what had happened at the amusement park flashed back into my mind as I put my free hand on the side of my head. It was giving me a migraine and the pain was not ceasing. I need to get some medicine once I return to my room.

" So that's where you live." A familiar voice spoke up and startled me as I jerked to the side to see who it was.

" Ryotaro?" My eyes widened.

" I thought your finger was pointing at the other direction. Maybe I was wrong." He said with a smirk on his lips. " I parked my car and decided to give your house a visit when I saw you going this way." He went to where I was. Pehaps I hadn't given him enough credit, the guy must be smart if he could manage to find a way to make a small, average company turned into a corporation as large as it was.

" What's wrong? You aren't opening the door. Are you planning to let a guest and yourself standing outside like this?" He was pushing me as I turned away to turn the knob on the door as both of us when in. " You didn't lock the door when you went out?" He asked with a hint of surprise in his voice. I didn't answer.

" Oh, I see that you're back." Somebody said as the shoji door on the side slid open and the old woman was standing there. I bowed my head.

" My apology for not returning last night. You must have been worried, Kobayashi-sama."

" Not at all. It is all right, so you don't have to apologize. I'm just glad that you finally bring a friend home." The woman said in a happy tongue as I turned around to see Ryotaro. Oh, him. " Are you all right, my child? You seem a bit under the weather."

" No. I am fine. Thank you for your concern, though." I stopped for a brief moment then continued. " Excuse me." With that I turned, about to go upstairs until.

" Don't forget to show your friend around." My feet stopped as I looked at Ryotaro.

" Let's go. I'll show you around."

I took out a key in my pocket then inserted it into the small hole on the doorknob to unlock it. The door opened and everything inside was covered by the darkness. I turned the switch on as the light on the ceiling shone, lightening the place up.

" This... is where I live." I announced after turning to look at Ryotaro, who was standing right behind me.

-

Ryotaro

-

I stared in awe. This couldn't be. But he said that... I blinked my eyes rapidly because I couldn't believe the sight before me and I was wondering maybe my eyes really did have problem. This definitely wasn't a house, it wasn't even big enough to be called an apartment. It was just... a room probably belong to the old landlady that I have met earlier. There weren't much furniture in this... room. Just a small, round and low wooden table in the middle with an old, worn out cushion; a futon that had been rolled neatly and paced at a corner of the room and a pillow was lying on top of it and over at the other side was a small, simple kitchen; added in as the last touch was the old, small wardrobe. This room wasn't even as big as my bedroom. Now I understand why he said the bear was too big for it to have any space here. That was the reason why it was still at the back of my car when I think about it.

" What the hell did you do for the last five years? Did you even save any money at all? And now you have to live in a run-down... room like this?" I burst out. I didn't understand. Len wasn't some kind of person to waste money and then ended up in this pitiful place. But he replied none as the guy proceeded to the wardrobe and bent down to took out another cushion and placed it on the tatami floor, next to the table.

" Have a seat." He said quietly then went to the kitchen to do something. I did what he said, sitting down to the not so comfortable cushion as I took another good look at his room. Liked I've said, the place was old and run-down. The light on the ceiling wasn't shining that brightly and heck, the so-called wardrobe couldn't even close that properly. Then suddenly, in that very same wardrobe, something caught my eyes. Under all of the hanging clothes in there was... a blue case. The same familiar blue case that Len himself carried around with him like every day of his life...before the accident. And it seemed like, even though it was hiding behind the dark corner of the wardrobe, it looked so clean. And I think that it was the cleanest thing that was in here! I didn't mean that the place wasn't clean but it was so old that even you if dust it every day, it still looks unclean mere the eyes. Then I remembered my words.

"_...And God damn it! You don't even play that violin anymore. Heck! I don't think you even have with you anymore. Did you sell it for food or did you throw it somewhere and leave it to be forgotten in some dirty corners?!"_

My heart twisted inside my chest. Now I understood why he looked so hurt when those words went flying out of my mouth. I didn't know anything about his life until now and I dare to say such things to him before. I have damaged his pride, badly. The sound of a howling kettle startled me and snapped me out of my train of thought.

I turned to look at the direction of the kitchen. Len was pouring the hot water into a small teapot as the steam went flying up from the pot. He was making tea, in the condition he was in, tea must be really expensive to buy but still, he was making it for...me. After all that I had done to him. A wave of guilty washed over me and I was helplessly drowning in it. A cup of hot steaming tea set down in front of my face, then a teapot in the center of the table and Len sat down with his own cup of tea in his hands.

" My apology but I don't have any sweets to go with the tea." He said quietly and with the cup held in his slim, long and elegant fingers, he sipped the hot green liquid inside in a calming way. I didn't say anything at all it was silence for how long I didn't even remember.

" Len." I began, breaking the silence on my own. " I-I'm sorry." He looked up at me as I continued. " You know, about what I said earlier this morning." Although, he didn't respond, instead, he looked away, avoiding my eyes.

" No. What you said was properly right. My life has been quite lucky so far, or else, I would have ended in the situation you described."

" B-but..." I didn't get a chance to finish when I saw Len winced in pain and held a side of his head in his hand. " What's wrong?!" I asked. Putting one of his arms down onto the tatami floor for support as he stood up shakily, going to the kitchen and reached his hand up to one of the shelf to find something. Then he grabbed a red bottle, slowly opened it up and took out two pills and swallowed them down his throat. I stood and took one of the glasses on the rack near the stove and poured in some fresh water for him from one of the two huge bottles that was left behind the rack. Len took it in his hand and gratefully drinking every drop from the glass. Putting the empty glass down to the counter as he closed his eyes for a moment and fingers began rubbing his temples.

" What happened? Did you have a headache?" I asked with concern filling my voice. Finally, reopening his eyes once again, although, it looked like he was in some sort of daze at that moment.

" Migraine, actually." He stopped for brief second to collect his thought, maybe about what he should say to me next. " Nothing to be concerned about." Len went back to sat down to the round table as I followed him.

" But you looked like you were in so much pain when it occurred just then." I protested. I didn't really think that it was nothing to be concerned about, at all.

" I told you, it's fine." He replied quietly, looking liked he didn't have that much energy left inside of him anymore. I sighed. Living in this kind of condition, no wonder he was all thin and pale, quite sickly on this outside as well. Then I realized something. " Wait. Where the heck did you get the money for the tickets into the theme park anyway?" I looked at him, demanding some kind of answer from the guy.

" Look, I'm not so poor that I couldn't afford to pay for two tickets, okay?"

" But you should be saving the money to get out of this room rather than just using it for such trivial thing!" I exclaimed.

" I said that it is _fine_." He said, almost growling and shooting me a 'drop-it' look. I gulped, not really wanting to make him mad. But it wasn't liked I have ever seen him mad before. Although, I think that if that is really going to happen one day, I bet it won't be nice. So it came to the point where we just sat there and drank our still warm cup of teas. _'What can I do to help him?'_ I thought to myself. _' Len isn't a type of person to accept help from someone else that easily, especially from me.'_ I took a sip of the green tea then looked at him from the corner of my eyes. Len was sitting there and to my eyes, his emotions, what he was thinking about in his mind was unreadable. That mask of his was even harder than before, except when it came to his family affair... However, one thing that was clear to me then was the fact that he was looking exhausted. His eyes were drooping as he stared blankly at the space in front of his. Putting down the empty cup, I should get going and let him rest before he collapses. I stood up as his eyes traced along my body.

" Well, I better get going. It's getting late as you said it was." I gave him a warm smile. " But remember that we are working again tomorrow, all right? Don't forget. You don't want your salary to be seduced, right?" He looked at me then nodded. " Go to bed, Len. We did have a long day and you look like you're going to lie down and sleep any moments, now. Want me to lay out the futon for you?"

" Thank you your kindness, but it's all right. I can do it myself."

" Quit the formal talking, please. It's getting really annoyed you know. Speak like you normally would." This time, he just simply looked and not answering. The end of the conversation I guess. I turned around and brought up my arm as a sign of good-bye then went to put on my shoes.

" Good-night, Len."

" You, too."

With that, I closed the door, but stopped halfway to take one last glimpse at his slim feature sitting with his legs folded at the table as the door gave out a small click when I closed it completely.

Walking down the staircase with my hands in my pockets as I went pass the room of the old woman, what was her name again? Uhm... something with –shi at the end, uhm... Oh! Kobayashi was her name! Yeah, I was heading to the front door when he called me back.

" You are Mori's friend right, young man?" She asked in a small, sweet voice. Mori, huh? So she didn't know what Len's real name is.

" Yes." I replied then looked at her with curious eyes. Then suddenly, she used her wrinkled hand and waved at me.

" Come here with me for a second." I was puzzled, what was going on? What did she want with me? Still, I did follow her as she closed the shoji door after I went in. She asked me if I want to have a cup of tea or not. But I formally refused her kindness, since one cup with Len was enough. The room has simple furniture liked Len's, even so, it still looked much better than his did, though. The old woman smiled then sat down across from where I was.

" Are you a close friend of Mori?" She began, with that same sweet voice.

" Hai. I suppose so. Is something the matter, Kobayashi-sama?" I addressed her the same as Len did, since I didn't know any other ways to, anyway.

" No, no. Not at all. I'm just happy, because with Mori's personality, I figured he wouldn't have many friends." I almost laughed, but managed to hold it in. Even an old woman such as herself knew about his attitude toward people. " The poor boy just doesn't know how to express himself, even though he is a very kind and good-hearted young man." Her voice this time was somehow had a hint of sadness in it.

" What happened?" I asked and curiosity was overwhelming in my mind.

" Well, the boy was not that fortunate. The first time he came here, he had had a bicycle, it was old, and I think it was second-handed, but he still used it to go to work. Back then, he worked three jobs a day and he wasn't home that often. I lived just next to the door so I noticed that the boy only came home at 3 in the morning and then he was gone just a few hours after, at six a.m."

I stared at the woman in awe, he only had three hours to rest? Three jobs a day? I didn't believe my ears. How the heck will he get enough sleep with only three hours? Heck! I didn't even know whether he slept in that short time limit or not. Then Kobayashi-sama continued.

" Life went on, but Mori got his bicycle to help him get to work. But then... in one rainy night, when he was just in front of the house, and it was in the evening. He was home early that night. And I was glad so I went out to greet him, but tripped and ended up falling down. The boy was frightened so he ran inside to help me up and left the bike outside. Then some people saw that the poor boy had just run in to help me and forgot his precious bike so they stole it from him when he didn't pay attention." She stopped, looking very sad. " Mori was sad, he sat down at the porch with his face in his hands. The strange thing was that he wasn't angry at me."

" Then after that, he has to go to work even earlier so he could catch the bus. The boy had saved up enough money to move out of here. And he was about to do so but when he found out that before my husband passed away, he left behind a huge dept and the people who lent him the money came to collect it. However, at that time, I did not have that kind of money so as they were about to force he out of the house, Mori came in and used the money he saved up along with mine to pay. At first I did not want him to do that but time passed, if I hadn't accepted his idea then I wouldn't have been living in this house till now." The woman sighed. " However, that left Mori with no money left so he kept on living here and worked five or six job a day. He looked completely worn out back then and I said that I won't take the rental money from him but he didn't accept it, saying something about who would leave some stranger living in their house without paying the money. But he was no stranger, he is more like my own grandson, now.

Then the other day, he told me that he was going to a big company to apply his application to see whether they would accept him or not then he would only have to work three jobs a day, including working for that company. After that, he came home with you."

The woman smiled gently down at me as I forced a smile on my lips as well. I wasn't in the mood for that. Thinking about what happened to Len after he left, everything was so horrible, getting his bike stolen then his money went flying out of the window before he even got a chance to use it for himself. I sighed then looked at the old woman in front of me, who then was looking really sad. When I think about it, the woman was calm liked... his mother and she was, maybe, the same age as his grandmother if I remember correctly. The reason why he helped this woman so much was because she was both liked his own mother and grandmother, the person he would never meet again and the person he had never had. At least I think so. Even though he put on that cold mask of his, he has heart and a soul like any other human beings and they were much more sensitive and vulnerable than anyone else's. Maybe that was why he put on that mask, to protect himself from the pain that he afraid he would he received without it on. God, Len. Why was it always you? You were the one who would have to bear all of the pain and suffering since the beginning. Why, though?

" _What the hell did you do for the last five years? Did you even save any money at all? And now you have to live in a run-down... room like this?"_

What I said suddenly came rushing back into my mind. I have opened my mouth to speak such things without knowing the whole story, yet again. So this was the reason why he didn't answer. I wouldn't be surprised if he was angry at me now with all of the things I had said to him. I sighed, bidding Kobayashi-sama good-bye then stood up to leave.

" Take good care of him." I heard she said suddenly as I turned around to look at her. " I can tell that you really care about Mori. I cannot do anything unless he is inside this house, so please take care of him for me whenever you can when he is in the outside world for me. You can do it, can't you?"

" Yes. I can do it."

" And from the looks of it, I can see that Mori cares about you, too. I can see it in his eyes. Even though he doesn't show it but he does care about you." I looked at the old woman in front of me for a few moments then smiled.

" Thank you for telling me that. But I why did you tell me about the story of his life for?"

" Because I want you to see that even though Mori acts strong and tough all the time but he is not what he appears to be. He needs someone to support, and I don't know whether I can provide him the help he needs or not. So I want you to understand that fact and help him without being force." Her expression was calm and yet her words was having a hint of steel in it, trying to make me understand what she purpose of the little talk we had. I nodded then walked out of the house.

Starting the engine as I drove away. For the whole time I was thinking about Len, his life and how to improve the condition he was living in. He wasn't the type of guy who would just lay out his hand to receive the money without doing anything. I sighed. The life he led was not that bright, happy or anything in particular that would make you think about any words that have the meaning relate to 'happiness'. I shivered a bit, how about the life he had before he came to that house? Just thinking about it has already made me feel the cold sweat ran down my cheek. I sighed again.

' _What should I do to make his life better for him and... for me as well?'_

-

-

-

_To be continued..._

_**A/N:**_ How was it? Good or bad? Anyway, I just want to tell you that I didn't remember Kanazawa's last name so I used his first name. So if you guys know what his full name is, please, do tell so I could make the chapter better. And all of the things about the device in the amusement park that made Len's emotion go a bit out of control were all made up by my mind, by the way. Please review. Thank you.


	11. Sandwitches and Music Class

_**A/N:**_ Try listening to some songs that's soft, light and with a hint of sad in it. It'll suit the chapter I think (^_^).

_**Chapter 11:**_ Sandwitches and Music Class

-

-

-

Ever since the day at the amusement park, everything went normal for everyone's life. Len and Ryotaro still went to the company to work. Ryotaro had bought a desk for Len, which was set in his office. Ryotaro did need his... friend's help in some situations but not always so that got everyone in the company to wonder especially the secretary and words started to get around about something was going on between those two. Although, none of them care, not the president nor his so-called personal assistant.

However, Len hasn't been hired completely, yet. He only worked from early till ten in the morning so Len was still keeping his other three jobs. One morning, not exactly morning since the sun hasn't risen, yet. Len has just sat up in his futon, his hair was all messy with his palm covered his eyes. He wasn't an early riser, not at all. But he couldn't help it but get up at five in the morning, it has already become his second nature. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't sleep more than fifteen minutes. Curse it. That was the reason why at this hour of the day, he wasn't himself, he was over on his 'human' side ( not the ice cube anymore, that is ). He didn't have his sharp senses, reflexes and highly organized brain. He was well... just a normal person.

The door creaked open then something or rather someone peeked in to have a look. At seeing Len was in his 'human' condition in the bed, the figure smirked and snuck inside unnoticable. The smirk on its face slowly got wider ( if that was possible ).

" YO!!!" Ryotaro shouted into Len's ear, making him yelped inreturn and jerked to look at him with widened eyes.

" Why the HELL did you do that for, bastard?!" He shouted back then panted, he thought he had just stopped breathing all together that moment.

" Wow. Never thought you would curse me liked that." Ryotaro said in amusement as he looked at his friend with the same smirk. Len sent a hard glare at him as he shut up. Getting up from the futon, Len folded it and pushed it into the corner.

After a few moment of collecting his thought and reorganized his brain, the cold and stoic mask was put on again as Len stood next to the small window, looking down at the man before him.

" What are you doing here?" He asked, voice has nothing but coldness. Ryotaro sighed inwardly, _' Well, he's back again I guess'_, then smiled warmly.

" I came to pick you up." He beamed.

" Sorry, but I do remember telling you to stop doing it."

" I liked to do it, you can't tell me what to do. Besides, your house are _way_ too far from the place."

Here they goes again, the same issue as always. Then again, Ryotaro was all kind and caring for his friend while Len didn't want to trouble him and he wasn't a guy who accepted help that easily.

Len sighed, this conversation was not going anywhere liked usual, he saw no point in wasting his breaths any longer.

" Did you have breakfast." The azure-haired _ex_-violinist asked casually as the other nodded.

" Good. You go down first and talk to Koibayashi-sama if you want to. I'll go and prepare myself." Another nod received as the pianist turned away as the door closed behind him.

Len turned away as he went to the small bathroom in his small room to take a quick shower, do some personal hygeine then shove the plain clothes he prepared last night onto himself, a white shirt and pants, as usual. The company didn't require wearing uniform, that figured, since it was Ryotaro who owned it anyway.

Swiftly, the azure haired guy went to the kitchen. He still has some slices of sandwitches, vegetables and other stuffs, maybe he could throw something together. Leaving alone without receiving any kind of help from others, Len eventually taught himself how to cook a decent meal.

-

While he was chatting with the old woman downstair, Ryotaro swore he didn't hear any footsteps from the staircase nor the hall way but the shouji door slid open as Len appeared and scared the heck out of him everytime.

He stood up from the cushion and waved the woman good-bye as Len bowed and murmured something that sounded like 'good morning'. Even though he said in such a quiet voice, Ryotaro didn't quite understand how could such an old lady could hear it. Through some mind connection perhaps? Eh, he didn't know.

They both walked out of the house and to the parking area where the car was sitting. The two men both have a bag in their hands. But one has a laptop and one was loaded with documents. You could guess which was whose right?

Slipping into the car as the doors shut then Ryotaro started the engine and drove them away. On the way, they would started to talk about some random things, well, Ryotaro was the one who mostly did all of the talking. And then, for the first time ever, the guy seemed to run out of stories, subjects to say.

Silence.

None of them talked, until, surprisingly, Len broke the long awkward silence.

" Ryotaro." He called as the other turned to look at him brief with a slight surprise in his eyes.

" Yeah?" Len has never been the one to start a conversation before. The azure-haired man put his bag into his lap and unzipped the zipper. From beneath the heavy files, Len pulled out a medium-sized bag and gave it to his friend.

" I took delivery of making something for lunch." He said then turned to see the stare the taller male was giving him. He suddenly felt quite taken back by it. " Or... perhaps you should eat outside as usual. I don't mind." He quickly added in in a quiet voice. Suddenly, Ryotaro laughed.

" Why would I go outside for lunch when I have this, silly?! Thanks, Len, for making it for me." The guy just beamed then took the bag gratefully as Len turned away, suddenly felt like his face was burning hot. " What did you make?"

" Sandwitches. It's not that special, just plain sandwitch with some vegetables and meat. Hope you don't mind."

" Why should I? I mean, it's not like I will receive my lunch from the all high and mighty Len Tsukimori everyday, after all, right?" Len turned back to glare coldly at the guy as a sweat dropped down from Ryotaro temple. Maybe calling him like that wasn't the right thing to do.

" Well, anyway. Thanks again, Len. I appreciate it." A warm and cheerful smile appeared across the tan-skinned face.

He was liked a second sun that would only shine for the one and only person, Len. Ryotaro was just liked a candle in the darkness of his friend's heart as he tried to find the way to the light. Yes, it was hard even though the candle was there to help him clear the path but somehow, Len was still afraid, afraid that if one day, the light of the candle disappear, what would he do then? The answer was still unknown for him. But for now, he may as well just enjoy the light while it lasted. Even so, Len knew one thing, not clearly yet but it will soon, that he was slowly being pulled out of the darkness that he have been living in for the last five years. And someday, maybe... maybe he would be out there again, under the sun, with people, with lights, not drowning in the pit of his heart anymore. Perhaps that day would come...

-

-

" You cannot be serious!" Ryotaro's voice echoed throughout his office at his secretary. " I thought that the meeting between me and the S.A Corp in America was dued until two more weeks." He stared at the girl with clearly confusion and somewhat anger in his eyes.

" They had called yesterday and told me about their changing on the schedule."

" Why didn't you inform me about this earlier?!"

" Because you were not in your office at that moment and later on when I tried to call you, your cell phone was off. But I did leave a message, I wonder why you have not seen it, yet." The woman answered calmly thoughout the wrath of her boss with ease then turned slightly to leer at Len from over her shoulder who was not that far away. Sensing someone was looking at him with a rather not-so-friendly gaze, Len looked up to find himself locked with the secretary's burning obsidian eyes.

Just a seconds later, Len tore his eyes out off hers with not much struggle or hardship, which made her even more piss off than she already has. He wasn't afraid of her.

" May I go and book the tickets, sir?" He nodded, then suddenly realized something.

" Matte. Ticket_s_?"

" Yes." She looked at him liked it was so obvious to use the plural noun of ticket. " I will be coming with you." He arched up an eyebrow and stared at her then to Len who was currently looked up to see what was going on. The secretary noticed his look as her eyes widened.

" No can't be serious, sir." For the first time in all ages, Len looked at her with a strange look in his eyes. Never before had he heard the girl talking so informal, obviously showing her displease. " He... Mori is new, he has only been working in our company for nearly two weeks. He has not known that much about the company and even if he did, I do not think for a second that a new employee such as himself can handle the task." She spatted, didn't even give Ryotaro a chance to reply.

The first moment he was a bit surprised by the reaction, and the next he was deep in thought. His eyebrows furrowed for some times then looked up.

" Then you won't be going with me, either." She was shocked. Why? How?

" But I..." She was cut off.

" I had thought it through. It is true what you said about Len being the new employee of our company so he cannot come along, and that leaves only you. But during the time of our absence, who will lead the main company here when the president and his secretary are gone? Therefore, you have to stay and help me with the work here. I can handle it myself." And that was the end of conversation.

Takeshino looked both disappointed and pissed off at the same time. She gave an acknowledged nod and began to walk out of the office and on her way out, she didn't forget to send Len a hard, burning glare in which the guy didn't even flinch.

Len turned to see Ryotaro was sighing heavily with his eyebrows were frowning deeply to concentrate on the stupid-papers liked he had called them in his long murmuring including some colorful languages amongst it every now and then. When the former violinist opened his mouth, trying to say something that would help ceasing the tension- a surprisingly attempt- the phone rang and it gave both of them quite a startle.

" Hello?!" The president answered it, trying to mask his clearly annoyed mood away. He didn't want to go to America for God sake! Not now at least. He was too afraid that... that Len would try to squirm himself out of his reach again. But, this time... he didn't even know whether he could even try to send anyone else to replace him, the meeting was important, it would decide whether a lot of good things were gonna happen or not.

" Sir, there are some problems..."

The voice started to trail away as the other person's voice was barely audience in Ryotaro's head. God damnit! Like the day wasn't hard enough, now, there were troubles down at the office.

" I'll be right there." The guy almost hissed through the phone and hung it up as he stood up and stormed out of the office, completely forgot that there was a pair of golden eyes were watching his every movement.

Len couldn't blame him, it was a hard time, there were too much work to do and too much strain. The way he acted wasn't a way for a president to react but it certainly was Ryotaro. Somehow, a strange warmness that he hadn't felt in a long time rushed into his empty soul, Len was glad when he realized at least there was still one thing that didn't change in this mad world. He turned his gaze from the now closed door back to the computer screen on the desk in front of him and began to work again.

-

It wasn't until a while longer when the door clicked open. Golden eyes looked, hoping to see the presence of his friend but instead, it was Takeshino.

The woman walked delicately into the room and slipped some other papers onto her boss' desk and the moment she was about to go out, the secretary suddenly stopped. A pair of dark onyx eyes stared at Len from behind the glasses as an evil smirk appeared on her lips as the door went shut and found itself opened again just a few moments later as she walked back in. And her hands were holding what seemed like a moutain of papers as she swiftly approached the man with azure hair.

" Hello." She smiled fakely and Len didn't bother to even peer up from the screen. That annoyed the hell out of her as she let the huge stack of papers landed harshly onto the wooden desk. " Here's your work." She said curtly and turned away. " Tsuchiura-san won't be back until later." The woman added in quickly as if saying that there won't be anyone to help Len out this time then tapping her heels on the floor again and left.

A small sigh escaped from Len. It was going to be a long working period this time.

-

Lunch was over an still no sign of Tsuchiura. Len eyes traveled to his friend's desk to see his bag was still there, along with the home-made lunch. He was busy, no need to make a fuss about him not having the chance to eat the sandwitches, right? Len convinced himself with that thought but even so, a feeling of disappointment still flashed through him as he let out another sigh. He was late for his other job at the CD store but he had called and informed them about this so there was no fussing about it. And he had finished his work, too, by the time he was done, his shoulders were stiff and his left hand was numb. He went to the window and took a good look at the bustling street down there with what seems to be quite a long way down. His golden eyes searched around aimlessly but then something caught his attention.

Ryotaro was sitting there quietly in a café with his files and enjoying a nice plate of sushi with a hot, steaming cup of tea. No one would blame him if he was with other people for a friendly out-for-lunch meeting, but instead he was alone.

A sudden emptiness washed over Len's heart. He felt so cold somehow even though it was almost noon outside and the sun was piercing down mercilessly. He wanted to get out of this stinking office immediately. Gathering his stuffs, which was not much except for the documents he had to carry, Len left and closed the door behind him. Although there were mixed feelings in his heart at that moment, the guy didn't show any traces of emotion at all when he walked past Takeshino. Swiftly, he entered the elevator and soon found himself out of the building. He was right to leave since his working period there has ended already. He was doing the right thing.

Saying so but his heart was thinking otherwise, the reason he left was entirely different which the azure-haired man have yet to realize.

-

After a nerve-wracking morning, Ryotaro needed to rest his mind as he went to a café shop that was just across from his company. The food there was nice and the green tea did make him feel better, but during the whole time, the guy got a strange feeling about something was wrong and that he had forgotten to do a very important thing. When he couldn't remember what the hell was bugging him, he just shrugged it off as he headed back to his office. Letting out a sigh, he walked inside the building that was full of people.

Opening the door to his office, he found that Len had left and the whole place was empty. He should have figured, the guy wouldn't stay back for anyone if it means that it would probably slow him down.

_/ The azure-haired man put his bag into his lap and unzipped the zipper. From beneath the heavy files, Len pulled out a medium-sized bag and gave it to his friend._

" _I took delivery of making something for lunch."/_

Amber eyes widened in shock. _'Oh, God! The sandwitches Len made!'_ Ryotaro shouted in his mind as he ran to his still bag on the desk.

" Damn it! That was what I forgot!" He hissed under his breath and mentally cursing himself. Len must has been pretty upset but then again, he wasn't exactly a person to care about such things. Right? Then he remembered the expression his friend had when he thought that he wouldn't accept the sandwitches.

" I'm in deep trouble."

-

'Click.'

The door produced the sound softly as the light switched on, making the pitch black room lightened up. Len went in and set the heavy bag down on the tatami floor. He was tired, it wasn't that he was physically exhausted from working ( okay, maybe he was ), but it was something intirely different that he still couldn't have a hold on it. Normally, he would have changed out of his outfit but now, he wasn't paying that much attention about it anymore as he lay wearily down the floor with his face looked straight up to the ceiling. He couldn't help it but to let his mind wondered back to what happened at noon.

Something from within Len's chest clenched. He didn't understand why he felt so hurt when he saw that. Maybe he was just being paranoid. Yeah, that was it, paranoid.

Suddenly, his stomach grumbled slightly, making the guy opened his eyes tirily. He has only been drinking water since morning, because he gave all of the sandwitches he made to Ryotaro, Len knew for a fact that his friend was a big eater...

The azure hair stood up and headed to the shower. He could eat later, right then, he just wanted to relax his tensed muscles.

-

Ryotaro closed the door behind him and straight into the living room and threw himself onto the soft couch. His back needed a rest. The guy lay still there for a few moments with the back of his palm on his eyes. Then something hit him as he looked up at the bag that was sitting on the table next to him. He sat up almost immediately to pull out the pack of sandwitches. His eyes suddenly saddened as he let out heavy sigh. Len must have been very disappointed about this.

Ryotaro stood up and went to the mini-sized kitchen within the living room and made himself a cup of tea. The cup was set down onto the table along with the heated sandwitches. They were sharply cut in perfect triangle shape. He didn't even want to bite it but he still went on and opened his mouth to have a taste. The sandwitches were normal just liked any other ones but somehow he felt the difference in them.

It was already nine-thirty as Ryotaro sat there alone in the living, eating the suppose-to-be lunch that his friend made for him. And he could feel, possibly, a part of Len sadness in every bite he took and it pained his heart so much...

-

Ryotaro

-

" Morning." I said and stepped into the office. Len didn't reply, he just blinked then returned to work. That particular morning, I didn't drive Len to work since when I arrived there, Kobayashi-sama said that he has gone already.

Slipping my heavy bag down onto the familiar desk then sat down with a small sigh.I knew this would happen, it was bound to be so. This confirmed that Len pretty much upset about me forgetting his effort of putting those sandwitches together. Kuso. I cursed under my breath, I didn't mean to do it! But... then again, it was my carelessness that led me into this mess in the first place, so turned out it _was_ my fault.

" Damn it." I hisses through my gritting teeth. So much for helping Len when I myself couldn't even get close enough to form a strong bond with the guy.

And for the rest of his working period, I tried many times to open my mouth to speak but my voice just got stuck and sometimes he would just kind of ignored me. Even so, one time when I accidentally looked up and saw his eyes were wandering to me then quickly turned away when he saw that I was looking. I smiled inwardly, maybe he wasn't that upset. There was still hope even though it was just a small trace of it.

Ten o'clock as Len stood as he bowed slightly to my direction then turned around. When he was about to open the door and walked out, I called him.

" Len." I stood up from my seat as I saw that his shoulders stiffened as he stopped on his track. " I-I was wandering... Uhm... c-can I, you know, continue to... uhm... drive y-you to work?" I pronouced every word with great difficulty then he turned his head to the side and looked at me at the corner of his eyes. The look itself was chill down the spine but I did saw a glint of somewhat between softness and amusement.

" Hn." With that he walked away as the door closed behind him. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

" I'll take that as a 'yes' then." I said to no one in particular but myself. I felt relief somehow liked a huge rock had been lifted off my shoulders. I let out a small smile before turning back to work.

-

_( Two days later...)_

I looked at Len from the corner of my mind. We were in my car but it wasn't 'driving to work this time', it was something else entirely different. I dragged him out of his apartment earlier this morning to take him to a special place, but I was kind of glad that he didn't refuse my offer even though he was quite irritated at first with my sudden appearance, rapping constantly at his door since it was Sunday after all.

Although the strange thing was that it was somewhere early in April and the guy claimed that it was a bit chilly. Sure it rained slightly every now and then at this season but seriously, chilly? It was barely even cool out here and he said chilly. Was it because his apartment didn't have a heater or was it because the temperature in my car dropped? I kept on wondering to myself until I made a turn on the right.

We arrived at our destination and stepped outside the car. Len looked at the place with widened eyes. He had to recognize the place because this was where he and the others, including Hihara-senpai, Shimizu and the kitsune as well, came and taught some of the children how to play the violin.

Len turned around but I stood right there in front of his face as he arched up and eyebrow. I stared at him, trying to make him understand that I wouldn't be going anywhere.

His lips parted but before he could say anything we heard a loud bang noise as the both of turned to see what was happening when I saw a bunch of kids about seven or eight ran out from inside the communal house.

" Tsuchiura-sensei!!!" They all sang in unison and looked at me with bright smiling face. I couldn't help it but to chuckle slightly. These kids were too nice and cute to resist.

" Hi, you guys! How have you been?"

" We are fine, Tsuchiura-sensei! How about you?" Ryuuki, a very hyper-active boy replied in place for the others. I smiled.

" Me, too. It's good to see all of you." I looked around and spotted Len not that far away and ran after him. Holding on his shoulders as I whispered into his ear. " Taking advantage are we...?" Then I spun him and myself around and pushed the not-so-willing guy back to the group of children that has been staring strangely at us.

" Guys. Let me introduce you to my friend,..." I stopped and started to think about the name I should give to the kids. Something that could satisfy the kids and as well as not bothering Len. " Anyway, he came here today to help me." I beamed out as the children looked at him with uncertain eyes.

" He's very kind and he knows how to play the violin, too. He will help you if you have any questions." Hehehe. I laughed inwardly, the words 'kind' and 'help' didn't go so well with Len in one sentence. But who was I to kid? He had taught some children how to play the violin before at this very same place, right? And I knew for sure that he had a soft spot for kids since I saw him playing in a park one day and some kids started to follow and compliment him as well as asking questions. He sure was very irritated but he didn't put on his cold mask or chase them away. Suddenly, something was tugging at the end of my sleeve.

" Tsuchiura-sensei, what are we going to call him?" The boy, Maki, pointed at Len. I smirked then ruffled the boy's hair slightly.

" Just call him: sensei. It'll do fine. Now, go and tell the others, okay?" The boy nodded and ran back, telling his friend enthusiastically about what I told him. And then they all turned around and smiled brightly and innocently at Len.

" Good afternoon, sensei!" They stretched the word so much that Len had to arched his eyebrow up and stared at them strangely, I bet that he was wondering where the hell did all of the kids get the idea of calling him 'sensei'. I couldn't back the force anymore as I laughed loudly. And at that moment I could practically sense the threatened, burning glare that was piercing my back from a certain person even though my eyes were closed.

I stopped laughing and tried to stop the children to stop as well since they, one by one, joined the laughing fit with me despite the fact that they had no idea what I was laughing at. Eventually, the laughter died down but some snickers still remained.

I pushed they all into the communal house before something else happened, the session was starting late already and I didn't want anymore delays. But really, where was Ousaki-san anyway? He had never been this late. Maybe it was because of the traffic, the road was so bustling today that I had to change the direction and used the long route. Getting from Hiroshima to Ousaka and from there to Kanagawa prefecture wasn't easy. Oh, did I mentioned that I moved to Ousaka just a year and a half ago to work for the main company? Sorry for not telling you sooner.

-

The only thing that made the kids quiet for quite a period of time was when they play their instruments. I taught them how to play the piano, of course, I only came here once a week during weekend, you know why right? Even so, the kids were doing well, thanks to Ousaki-san I guess. Although he was the one that taught these little artists most of the time but they seemed to like me more. And now, right before my eyes, I was witnessing perhaps one of the strangest thing, those enthusiastic children were almost had their attention paid on Len! The fact that the guy was just sitting there and looked indifferent at them, they were actually _drawn_ to him. I couldn't understand how the minds of children work. I cleared my throat as some of the kids looked at me as I continued the lesson.

I was teaching the kids to get the right keys for the new piece, I heard a little voice spoke up.

" Excuse me, uhm... sensei?" Oh, it was Akane, the rookie or at least that was what I called her since she just joined in since last week. She was trying to get her suppose-to-be sensei to help her with something. Len turned his gaze to look at the girl. " Is... is this the right position?" She raised her violin up and put it under her chin to demonstate her question.

Len looked at her indifferent liked he didn't even understand a word the little girl was saying. Akane was starting to struggle with her small-sized violin, trying to make the right stand. I frowned, Len wasn't going to help her?

" H-hey..." I was about to call out for him when I saw the guy stood up from his seat, moving for the first time after fifteen minutes.

" Your elbow needs to be higher." He said and placed his hand on her elbow and pushed it up slightly and in a soft way. I saw that Akane was blushing a little. Well, of course, it was Len after all, a pretty boy, cool,... other stuffs that draw girls closer to him ( even though he would just shoo them away ). " And hold the bow with more strength."

A flash of pain washed across his face, although it lasted just a few seconds. He must be thinking about that bitch again. I bit my lips, I knew that this would happen. But that was one of the reasons why I brought him here in the first place. He needed to do this, to face his past and move on, he couldn't just drown himself in his self-pity. Although, he seemed to be handling this quite better than I thought he would. Yeah, maybe there really was still hope...

-

The class went on with me watching the kids tried to memorize and play the piece I taught and Len was instructing the other group how to play the voilin the right way. I think that Ousaki-san has been quite easy on these kids, they knew the basics about how to play a violin but still not familiar with it. And to Len it was liked second nature already so even if he stops playing it for awhile, he would still very capable of teaching these little guys.

Then suddenly, I saw his position wavered a little then slowly sitting back down onto the chair behind. I told my students to practice by themselvess for awhile as I went to him and sat down beside the guy.

" What's wrong? Are you feeling alright?" I asked with concern filled every word in my questions and Len just shook his head slightly.

" Nothing." He replied quietly. But I didn't really buy that explainantion.

" Don't lie to me. Tell me Len, what's going on?" I pressed on, though, knowing fully that he was trying to avoid the subject.

" I said that it's nothing then it's nothing, Ryotaro. So just drop it." He said back with a slight anger coating his voice. The tension was going, I gulped a bit, I didn't want to make him upset but something was definitely up and with me going to America, which was half a planet away from him, I needed to know, badly.

I opened my mouth to say when something caught my eyes, Ryuuki- the boy was in the violin group- came tugging at Len, and I noticed that his hand was holding an adult-sized violin, I think that it was one of Ousaki-san's. But what the heck was the boy doing with it and why did he bring it to Len?

" Sensei, play a piece for us!" He shouted excitedly aloud, it sounded more like a demand than a request. My eyes widened as I turned to look at Len, who was pretty much as surprised as my, but with a more calming expression.

The others heard the comotion and stared at us as they ran toward the 'center of attention' and started to sing in unison about Len playing for them a song.

" I got this from Ousaki-sensei's, he played for us a song for us the first time we met as introduction and then he teaches us. So you need to introduce yourself, too!"

My mind raced, Ryuuki's was using big words for a kid but his mind was still as naïve and innocent as ever. I looked back and forth at the boy then Len, then focused my gaze on him. How would he react to this? What would he do? Should I do something about it?

" Please, sensei!" The kids pleaded and now I could see clearly that the guy was getting panic, his eyes were too oblivious.

" H-hey, guys..." I tried to say something to stop the children but something hit me, mentally. Why did I need to stop them? Was this a chance that I have always wanted to have? A chance to let Len plays the violin again. He was a prodigy violinist. He got both talent and hard work, he was at the peak of his carrier, if the accident hadn't occurred, he could have been one of the most famous violinist in the world by now. I couldn't just let that talent to wither away into nothingness.

I grabbed his wrist firmly as he looked at me uncertain and in a confused way. I smiled confidently at him, and said.

" You can do this." It came out in a low tongue, just slightly above the whisper level. He didn't reply, instead, he kept on staring at me, he didn't reply but his eyes was yelling all it could at me. _' I can't.'_ The held his wrist even more tightly, trying to give him some of my confidence and make him understand that nothing is impossible in this world. His surgery scars had healed a long, long time ago, even though they were still hurting him at the present every now and then, but it didn't mean that he could never play the violin again! For God sake, listen to me for once, Len! I wanted to shout that into his face but he had to make his choice on _his_ own.

Moments after, with much struggle, Len reached out his and slowly and hesitately to the instrument that was held right before his face. He looked like he was afraid to touch it at first but he held on to it at the end. Like a miracle had occurred the whole place seemed to burst out with cheering and clapping. I let out a sigh of relief that I didn't even know I was holding. Len looked at me for a second as I signed him to go and do his best and I knew for sure I he understood what I meant. Ryuuki pulled him up from the chair and pulled him to somewhere in the middle of the communal house.

" He made quite a break through by taking the violin, didn't he?" I was startled by the voice as I looked up to see Ousaki-san was standing there, looking at Len with a gentle smile graced his lips.

" Where have you been?" I asked casually.

" Traffic jam." A simple reply as his attention was back on Len. " I had thought I would see him again." He said softly as I looked at him questioningly and as if sensing my troubling thought, the man said.

" Tsukimori was a kind of person that would not give up easily. Sure there would be hardship, denial and other trivial things that would get in his way between him and his _important_ thing. But nevertheless, I knew for a fact that he was up to the challenge."

When Ousaki-san said 'important thing' he eyed me with a strange look in his eyes, I could see it clearly even with the glasses that he was wearing. What was that suppose to mean? I didn't understand so I just shrugged it off.

Len still looked hesitated and a bit confused. Never in my life would I think that there'll be one day when I saw such emotion expressed on his face.

" Go on." I moved my lips when I saw his eyes fixed on my direction.

I could clearly see a sigh escaped his lips as he put the violin on his shoulder and placed the bow on top of the strings, a perfect position just liked before. And suddenly, all of that uncertainty, worried looked disappeared in a boof and replaced with a strange, yet familiar aura that started to envelope Len's feature. It was just liked before, everything... His expression changed as well, it was calm and collected. Everything was just liked what it had been five years ago, when things were alright and nothing has yet to happen.

My heart raced as I held my breath, leaning slightly toward where he was as he first note came out from the string. He was playing... if I my guesses are right then it must have been Allegreto, Caprice No. 20 of Paganini.

The first motes were so soft and gentle as it made your heart felt so peaceful as the music led you inside its world full of dancing notes when everything started to pick up gently with a high note then slightly faster and in a higher pitch. But at the middle of the piece, it changed completely as the intesity grew, the notes were chasing each other throughout the whole series and the bow that was moving starting to fasten its speed onto the string, the piece still sounded light and delightfull as ever liked it has first started of. The sound went up and down and reapeated like that for several time but it didn't make your ears bored because of the speed and the strength Len was using.

I leapt out from my seat a little and gulped, staring at Len without even blinking for a moment. He was started to sweat, and I could see his brows furrowed for a fast moment before he returned his focus back to the piece. Of all the pieces, why did he choose that one? It was hard, for his hand I mean, after five years of quitting the violin all together and he had to choose that piece liked the gap didn't even exist at all!

Even so, Len managed to make it through half of the climax of the song. I was surprised how he could do that but the possibility was still there, hanging on the line. And just liked I thought, the nerves in his left hand shut down, completely, making him had to stop playing at once as everybody, who was enjoying the song had to look up at him. On Len's part, he didn't look at all that surprise as he stared at his numb, shaking hand with an emotion that I could not read. It was somewhere between sad, disappointment and yet not so stunned by the reaction that was received from his now stiff and useless hand. He looked like he was about to burst out in a maniacal laughter and broke down his knees and sobbed at the same time.

My lips suddenly went dry. Len, his face was void of emotion, then. And I saw the corners of his lips moved up a little to turn into what would have a smile, a bitter sweet one. Something into in my heart twisted, a great pain was filling the space inside it. The tension grew and for the first time in minutes of what seemed like hours, the children started to clap their hands as the thick, suffocating atmosphere was lifted up. They cheered and clapped loudly even though the piece wasn't even finished, but they still did it. Len eyes widened a little then turned away to hide the slight blush that was clearly evidenced on his cheeks. The anxiety in my heart somewhat eased as I went to where he was standing.

I came slowly to his side, he probably didn't notice it because of the loud cheering, and I could see that he was clutching the violin tightly and his hand was shaking up whether it was because of the nerves or the overwhelming emotion that was definitely filling his soul, I didn't care. Because I knew that deep down inside he was happy and glad that he agreed to play, to touch the violin again, even though it wasn't as beautiful as his golden one, but it was a major break through, to Len and myself as well. Because from this event, I now know that slowly but surely, his heart was healing bit by bit.

I leaned forward a little then softly whispered into his ear.

" Are you alright?"

It took several seconds before he gave me a slow nod. " Yeah, I'm alright..." The answer was gentle and his voice was lighter than ever before liked a huge rock has been lifted off his shoulders...

We left soon afterward, which made the kids sad as they used their puppy dog's eyes to persuade us to stay a little longer but it couldn't help, it was time to leave and our houses weren't that close anyway. I was explaining the situation to the kids when I saw Ousaki-san was speaking to Len, they were not that far away. I could hear them if I wanted to but thanks to the little students here, I couldn't, not completely that is.

" It's good to see you again after all this time, Tsukimori." Ousaki- san said softly with a genuine smile on his lips as always as he received a nod. " Still doesn't want to talk much, huh? Well, anyway, thanks for teaching the kids when I was absenced, you were a great help."

" No, it was... my pleasure."

Ryuuki and the others ran to where Len was and tugged his shirt as he turned around to find there beaming, bright smiles.

" Teach us again soon, sensei!" That sounded more liked a statement rather than a question, but to my surprise, Len didn't look a least bit of annoyed, instead he nodded.

" Yes, I will." A brief stopped as a wind blew, makin the dried leaves went swirling in the air. I didn't if I was seeing things or not but I thought I saw him smiled, small but still a smile from every angle you could look at. " And call me...Tsukimori-sensei."

My eyes widened with disbelief as he just softly ruffled Ryuuki's hair with his slender fingers of his good hand then walked away toward my direction.

" Tsuchiura." I was startled by the voice as I snapped out of my daze. It was Ousaki-san again. " You did a fine job of finding and bringing him back." I smiled a little at the comment. " Stay by his side and watch over him. He needs a companion such as yourself more than you or even himself think."

" What..." I didn't even got a chance to finish my sentence when his finger lifted and pointed at something behind my back as I looked over my shoulder to find Len was slightly leaning against the side of the car, he was deep in thought it seemed as his gaze wandered of somewhere far at the distance. Another breeze blew as the crimson lights of the setting sun graced his feature and it made him look somewhat glowed under it. Len looked just like a God with broken wings and could not return to the Heaven high above as he has to endure the pain in the Human world. My heart was beating loudly inside my chest as I held my breath, what was this feeling? It was so strange, so foreigne that I had never felt before.

" He's waiting. Go." And with a slight push on the shoulder Ousaki-san once again snapped me out of my thoughts, signaling me to go over there. I did what was told but my mind was still wondering about what he said as I looked back and forth at Len then him.

All of them, including the children and Ousaki-san waved at us as bid them good-bye, too then got back into the car. With soft clicks, the doors went shut as we drove away. The trip that day brought us a lot of confusion, but nevertheless, it turned out much, much better than I had expexted it would. I'm glad that I had brought him there that day and deep down, I knew that the memories of what happened will remain it our heart for a very long time after. Such beautiful memories would never fade with time, and I hoped that it was the truth, because I didn't want to forget it, ever...

-

_( Two days later...)_

The airport was filled with people going in and out constantly even though it was seven in the morning. I was sitting at the waiting chair, waiting for my flight to be called. I had gone over the schedule again with Takeshino to make sure that everything will go just as planned and things were fine up to that point. My secretary left afterward, more liked I told her to leave. I didn't really want to be around her that much sure she was good of a secretary but something about her made me feel really uncomfortable.

Len was the person who I wanted to see but he wasn't there, I didn't pick him up to the airport that morning since I was too busy with things and I didn't want to diturb him over these kind things. I'd only be gone for about a week, he wouldn't even notice that I was gone. That guy didn't care much about anything or anyone anyway. Still... I had to admit that without him there with me at that moment it did felt kind of... sad. I shook my head, what was thinking?

" Baka." I jerked up because of the voice and to my surprise, I saw him standing there in front of me.

" L-Len?" I was stunned, what was he doing here? How could he find me here anyway? I didn't tell him which gate I was going into, did I? Then reality slapped me across the face. Did he... did he run around the airport just to... look for me? Was that the reason why he was sweating and panting hard? Of course he did, that explained everything!

" Wh-why didn't... you tell me?" He asked between gasps.

" I- I didn't..." I was still pretty much surprised by his action and found that the words were stuck at my throat.

" You could've a least told me so I could come and say good-bye." There was anger in his voice and once again, the great Tsukimori Len had caught me off guard by that one simple sentence that anyone could say... but not him. I had never expected that those words I heard would come out from his lips, with his beautiful voice.

" Passengers on flight numer 835 please come to..." The louspeaker picked up as the voice of a woman echoed throughout the whole airport as I stood up and took my bag in my hand and smiled.

" That's my flight. Guess I'll be going then." I said so but I feet didn't even flinch from the spot. I didn't want to go.

Len looked at me with the same stern look on his face. Then his expression turned into an axious, worried feeling. My heart beated louder and louder in my chest by the second as I looked at him in awe.

" Have a safe trip and good luck."

" I don't need you to give me luck." I mocked half heartedly, trying to cover my surprised expression that was diefinitely showing all over my face. His eyebrow arched up and look at me strangly.

" Whatever, it's none of my business, anyway." There goes Len and his signature statement. He stopped briefly then looked closely at my face, studying my feature. " But... come back soon, okay?" He turned away to hide what looked like a blush.

My heart skipped a beat. What did he just say? He wanted me to come back soon or was I just hearing things? I stood there and continued to look at him, completely forgot about my flight.

" Are you going to go or what?" His voice rang, pulling me back to my senses. I nodded slowly then smiled gently at him.

" Don't worry. I'll be back soon and safe." I said then turned around as I started to walk away, lifting up my hand and waved at him casually.

I went into the airplane after I was done with all of the paper works and sat down to my seat, special seat. Well, Takeshino bought this ticket and I didn't have any other choices about this, it'd be hard to exchange for a normal seat since the date for departure was closed. I settled in my seat as the image of Len playing the violin two days ago and when he was standing in front of my face, panting with a slightly annoyed look on his face. Unknowingly, a small smile appeared on my face as I fixed my gaze out of the window.

_The sky has never been so high and blue before..._

-

-

-

_To be continued..._

_**A/N:**_ Sorry that I've taken so long to update but with final exams just around the corner, I couldn't just ignore them since the teachers have been yelling, shouting and running around to review for us, that's why no matter how I much wanted to I couldn't forget it. Well, what do you think about the chapter? Please review, thanks. And by the way, I wouldn't be able to update for about a coulple of weeks or even more. Reason: I have just explained. See you later!


	12. My everything

_**A/N:**_ Hi, there. It has been awhile, but it's finally finished. And by the way:

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEN-KUN!!!**

I have been meaning to say that for awhile now. But anyway let's start with this. This is something I have forgotten to say for eleven chapters already.

Disclaimer: All of the characters in here don't belong to me except for two people, one you have already met and one you're going to see now. And the song " What you mean to me" doesn't belong to me, either. It's Sterling King's.

Okay, that's enough with my blabbing, let's get on with the chapter, shall we?

_**Chapter 12:**_ My everything

-

-

Len

-

I watched Ryotaro walked away as he went into the gate after waved me good-bye. He was long gone but some how my feet wouldn't flinched from the spot I was standing as my eyes just stared into the space where he was standing without even knowing why.

" Please, be careful." I whispered to someone that has already gone then inhaled in lungs full of oxygen before getting the strength to turned around and exited the airport. Well, the company was allowed to have a day off so that the president and his secretary would have time to double-check again everything. And that was the reason why I wasn't sitting in the office at that moment.

As I was walking out, I suddenly got a chilling feeling sent down my spine, someone was watching. I spun around immediately but found nothing but people with no familiar faces. My eyes darted around to search for some unknown thing before getting back to my track hesitately. Maybe I was just being paranoid, I convinced myself with the thought but somehow something was still bugging me.

-

_Normal P.O.V_

-

Ryotaro got into the plane and found his seat. When he was starting to put his suicase into the cabin above, something hit his bag as he turned around. It was a guy around his age, 26. He has chestnut hair and wore glasses, a little shorter than Ryotaro but nonetheless tall, a little bit taller than Len he supposed.

" Excuse me, I lost my balance a little." He said apologically in a warm way with a small smile.

" No, it's fine. So are you sitting here?" Ryotaro asked casually, trying to be friendly since it seemed that the guy was trying to do the same. He nodded slowly and smiled again. " Well, since we are sitting with each other let me introduce myself. My name is Tsuchiura Ryotaro. Nice to meet you." The pinanist raised his hand up.

" Oh, it is a pleasure to meet you too, Tsuchiura-san. I am Kishimoto Arashi." With that he took the offered hand and shook it.

Ryotaro settled down into his seat comfortably and started to stare outside while the guy in glasses was still doing something then suddenly stood up and walked away. Ryotaro shrugged, he didn't care that much.

-

" Tsuchiura-san." A voice spoke softly but enough to startle the pianist when he was deep in thought as he jerked toward the direction where it came from. It was Arashi. He somehow noticed Ryotaro's expression as he smiled apologically. " I didn't want to surpise you but the attendance came and asked if we wanted something to drink."

" Uhm... no, thank you. I'm not thirsty." The girl looked at him with a smile as she nodded in acknowledgement then walked away. Ryotaro shifted in his seat, restoring his composure as he cleared his throat, trying to spike up a conversation between him and his new- found friend before spacing off again.

" So, where have you been?" He asked.

" Oh. I realized that I dropped the chain on my bag somewhere and went to look for it." Ryotaro eyed him weirdly. As he pulled something out from his pants' pocket. A small chain with three round emeralds and two neat knots at two ends to keep those peas in place at the end of the chain. " This is quite special so I don't want to lose it." He smiled again with that same gentle way. If Len was to smile like that...

" Really?" Tsuchiura replied. " So, do you mind if I asked what you're doing?"

" Well, I'm a doctor you see." The guy looked at him. A doctor? A person liked him? In Ryotaro mind, he didn't really think of any doctors that were this kind because of the incident with Len when the were in the hospital five years ago. Those freaks weren't certainly nice and kind while they hit Len. Noticing the look in the other's face, the chestnut- haired man said. " My father was one and whenever his patients came I was quite fascinated with the way he treated them so I just followed his foosteps. And you?"

" I'm just a normal businessman, no more."

" Where do you work?" This hit the spot.

" Uhm... the S.A Corp."

" Honto? That's great. The S.A Corp. is one of the most successful in Japan. You must be quite rich." He responded with much delight in his voice, probably because he was kind of surprised to find out where the other was working. " Tsuchiura Ryotaro. That's why your name sound familiar. You're the president of the company, aren't you?"

Ryotaro felt his face was starting to feel a little bit hot as he nodded slowly. He didn't like the idea of getting too much attention from people.

" So, how about your work?" He managed to form a question as he then returned to the collected self from before when they just met.

" I guess you can say that I'm doing fine, still..." Tsuchiura raised an eyebrow.

" 'Still' what?"

" One of the acquentance in my clinic hasn't been coming for a check up for almost a year already. I'm kind of worry since this kind of thing doesn't happen often, well not to that patient I guess, he's... special."

" Special?"

" Yes. He and his family has been in a long term relationship with my family we helped each other out a lot. But something tragic happened and..." He stopped briefly as a painful look flashed through his face. " Well, we just parted, but he came to have a check- up every six months but he just stopped and I couldn't contact him at all." Ryotaro sighed, another sad story. This world seemed to be filled with these kind of things.

" Don't worry too much, okay? I think that soon enough, that friend of yours will come back." He gave the glassed man a reasurring smile. He said it from his own experience. Len disappeared, but then he came back, right?

Arashi looked at his new found friend more a moment then nodded, that very same gentle smile was on his lips again.

" You're right. I really do hope so."

-

-

" Here is your work." Takeshino said and practically threw the stack of paper onto the desk and slammed the door on her way out. Len sighed, she has been acting nothing like the sweet little secretary when Ryotaro was around. Well, it wasn't like Len would expect anything less from her. But if looks could kill, Len would have been dead by then since the woman has been sending constant glares, leers, dagger liked looks. And then again, if looks could kill then she would have been in her grave already, too, although Len didn't want to cause troubles so he just ignored everything from her attitude down to her eyes.

It has only been two days since the president was out and Takeshino had had Len work like an animal. His total work and plus almost fifty percent hers have given his hand and schedule a hard time while the woman just sat there, enjoying herself and pointing others to do her bidding. How charming of the girl. Someone said with sarcasm filling each word.

The medicine was running out and Len's hand wasn't getting any rest soon thanks to said person above. He sighed again and then his eyes moved to the desk just across from his. It has been two days since he last saw Ryotaro. His golden eyes shone with determination, the beaming smile that usually spred on his tanned face, his actions, every movement the man made has greatly carve into Len's mind. Somehow, he felt kind of... cold and empty when Tsuchiura wasn't around, it was a strange and foreign feeling that would hardly, never feel. And no matter he how much he hated to admit, he missed Ryotaro's presence. And a part of him was worried too, this situation was somewhat similar to his parents' case and what if...

Len shook that thought away. No, he shouldn't have thought that things would turn out that way. He should never do so, because... because he wouldn't want, no, did not want that to happen. Len had lost many important people in his life and it was already enough, he didn't want the pianist's name to be added into the list. If that happen, he would... Len would... kill himself. Thinking about the moment when he would receive a call from the police and said that Ryotaro was...

" Shut up!" He said angrily at himself. How could he think about such horrible thoughts?! Len slid his hands into his hair and gripped his hair to let out the frustration. After a few moment, he regained his composure and sat back straight. Why should he even worry? It was Ryotaro that he was talking about, so why should he? The guy was practically a professional soccer player when they were still in Seiso, he was strong, healthy, he has quite a luck himself, so there was no need to worry, right? Right. Len assured himself then went back to work, repeating the same words, the same thought in his mind, making sure that it wouldn't go wandering off about anything other than the conclusion he had made.

However, something at the corner of his mind was still nagging at him that he shouldn't be so positive or optimistic about the whole situation at hand. After all, Len's life has never been so lucky before, himself and those that were around him...

-

-

Len

-

I went home and shoved my shoes down on the ground before bending down and put them neattly on the rack nearby. I walked by Koibayashi-sama's room and bowed slightly to her as the old woman smiled warmly back at me before I got myself upstairs to my... apartment.

I waited for the light to switch on and then put my bag down on the tatami floor, slowly stripping down the clothes on me to go for a shower, I desperately needed it at that moment.

" Mori." A voice called from the other side of the door, Koibayashi-sama. " You have a phone call." I was surprised, who called me? No one has ever done it since five years ago.

" Would you please wait for a second?" I said then buttoned my pants again, thank God that I had only taken off my belt, then hurried to the door and found a smiling woman standing next to the staircase. " Do you know who is calling?" I asked, still finding this a bit odd.

" I don't know." The something about her that made me feel like she was somehow lying. But I pushed the feeling aside as I went downstairs after nodding slightly to her, well, if she wouldn't tell me then I guess I'll just have to figure it out myself.

The phone was in Koibayashi-sama's room. Well, for your information, my cell phone has been taken away from me three years ago thanks to some thieves and I wasn't in any condition to buy a new one.

The black telephone was there, sitting on the small desk. Then suddenly, I could feel my blood was rushing very fast with each step I took as an attempt to get closer to the phone. Could it be... _him_ or was it...? I picked it up.

" Hello? Mori Yuki is speaking, who is it?" I said and from the other end of the line, I received a deafening sound.

" Yo, Len!!!" It was really him. And he was fine. I let out a breath that I didn't really remember holding. Suddenly, everything was starting to feel hot, especially my face. I swallowed slightly.

" Yeah, it's me." It came out almost liked a whisper. What was wrong with me? I did I feel so nervous?!

" I know it's you so pass the introduction section, okay?" Ryotaro said and I swore I could saw the image of him smirking just from listening to his voice. " So, how have you been for the last couple of days?" He asked cheerfully.

" Uhm, fine." I stopped, suddenly, the words seemed to stuck at my throat and it took me forever to choke every word out. " And... you?" Seriously, two words.

" Me, too. Everything has been awesome with the new atmosphere, new people, new climate and other stuffs, very interesting you could say." He beamed.

" Really." I relaxed a bit, so he was commfortable with the changes then, well, that was good to hear. I thought that it would be hard but that then again, we're talking about Ryotaro here so I guess I should have been so worry.

" Gomen-nasai." Ryotaro said all of the sudden as I frowned.

" Why are you apologising?"

" I should have called you since two days ago, no, since the first time I stepped one of my shoes down on the America's international airport. You must have been worried right?" The room's temperature started to raise again, or was it just me?

" No, I wouldn't bother whether you call or not, since it is up to your decision." I said, sounded a little cold, but truth to be told, I didn't know what else to say other than that. But it was a lie, I... I really was expecting him to call me. Although I wouldn't admit that aloud any time soon.

" Oh..." Ryotaro said, his voice sounded a little down. Maybe what I said has been a bit too cold.

" Uhm... Just... just remember to..." I couldn't think what to say next to him, my brain chose this moment to shut down. Nice going. _" Come home safely.' Say it!'_ He mentally shouted at himself. " Finish the job." I blurted out and when I realized that hell I just said, it was already too late. Ryotaro was quiet for a moment.

" Uhm... sure." He finally said then it was quiet again.

" Ryotaro I..." I tried to fix the situation but he cut me off half sentenced.

" Well, just call to tell you that everything was fine. I guess I have to go now, duty is calling and I'm taking too much of your time. Ja-ne." And then he hung up immediately.

I stood there with my hand still holding the phone even though the obnoxious 'tutting' noise was ringing constantly in my ears. After a minute or so with my brain registered the event that has just occurred as I slowly hung the phone up, too, and held my low, eyes tracing the floor, then I went out of the room, heading toward mine and closed the door.

-

What was I thinking?

Why did I say those things?

And to think that he was actually happy to see me and I have to go and ruin everything.

I'm an idiot.

I leaned closer to the corner of the room that was, then, acting as my pillow. My body was so numb that I didn't care if I were to lie on a pile of stone. I sighed, the conversation between me and Ryotaro has been swirling in my mind. I was being an ass for saying such hard words to him. Oh, and are you surprise that I know how to curse? Don't be, afer struggling in the harsh world for five years, even I have to pick up some colorful language to chase away some people that I don't want to hang around with.

I lay back my head to the wall and stared at the ceiling. Ryotaro must have been very disappointed. He has been my friend for a long time now, after five long years of departure, I came back and he was still there, patiently waiting for my return to once again, be my friend, stayed by my side, supported my for the last month. And when he went away, all I could say was " just remember to finish the job". How stupid could I get?!

I was too frustrated to even think then his laughter rang inside my ears. His cheerful, laughing voice made my heart felt lighter and the nerves in my brain relaxed every time I hear it. His golden eyes filled with determination that seemed like it'd never leave, his tanned skin that has a healthy glow to it he got from playing soccer. I watched him played before and I have to admit he was good at it and that got me surprised when he said he had gotten a job in an office much less than being its president just two years later. I have always thought he would make a good soccer player, even until now... I could still see the image of him skillfully handling the round black and white object with his feet, the way he moved it around to smoothly as if it was nothing. The beads of sweat rolled down from his forehead, his damped white T-shirt that was clinging on his body, revealing his back with the strong, boarded shoulders. His collarbones were curved slightly in a delicious way that I just wanted to...

' _What am I thinking?!'_ Oh God, I'm losing my mind! Why did I have such thoughts?! Damn it! I was supposed to think about how to solve the problem and now I have gotten myself deeper by sinking myself in weird thoughts!

My eyes darted to the clock on the wall, and it was three fifteen. I sighed, it was time for me to go to work. Truth to be told, I didn't want to get up, I wasn't even in the move to think about work. But what needs to be done, must be done. Another sigh escaped my lips as I stood and got ready for work.

-

-

Ryotaro

-

I hung up the phone then lay still on the soft bed, didn't even bother to put the phone away. I lay there, looking straight to the ceiling with no particular reasons. It was just that what Len said just now somehow made me feel...

Hurt.

That was it, hurt.

Well, I guess I couldn't expect much from a guy who didn't even talk that much when I was around, let alone the fact that I was now half a planet away from him. But, I do realized one thing that I did really hope that he would somehow be happy when I called. And once again, I had let my hopes up way too high and now I was suffering the pain from the harsh fall. I knew that a person liked Len himself wouldn't talk much. Although, I didn't really think that he would said something liked that.

" Just remember to finish the job." I murmured his words in my throat. No matter how much I told myself to ignore that sentence and that somehow just slipped his lips, he didn't really mean anything of it. However, my conscience didn't let me do as I wanted.

But seriously, not even a warm welcome of ' how are you' or ' how have you been'. Sometimes, I wondered if someone had stolen his heart and replaced it with an ice cube.

And then an image of a female with crimson hair and golden eyes flashed through my mind. Yeah, I know who that 'someone' is, the infamous Hino Kahoko, a.k.a the kitsune, in my language that is. But... I thought that after five long years and plus six months would have at least opened his heart a little towards me, right? I mean, I spent the time with him when he was in the hospital, and then a month after he was discharged and then going to the wedding with him, and other stuffs. I couldn't believe that after all that he would only give me a cold shoulder when I was away! Yeah, I know all too well that Len was what you called an anti-social, no more, no less. Even so, he should have...

I let out a frustrated groan. All of this debating was getting me nowhere and I could feel that a headache was coming.

Kuso.

Yeah, I know Len all too well.

That was why it hurt.

My heart clenched in my chest, making the pain worsen. This was a kind of aching that I didn't know how to ease. No matter how much I tried to get over it. This was the same feeling I had when Len left five years, ago. So empty, voided and filled with utter sadness and despair. Why did I feel this way? What was this feeling?

Why am I like this?

-

-

_( Five days later...)_

Len

-

I looked at the clock on the wall of the office with every passing ten minutes. It was strange, since I didn't like to stare constantly at the clock I couldn't help it. Ryotaro would be returning this afternoon. That idiot didn't tell me what time will his flight came because first of all, he didn't even mention it when we were at the airport almost a week ago and secondly, he hadn't been calling since after what occurred with the first and also last call.

I sighed, even so, I overheard the secretary talked about his time of arrival the other day, somewhere around four o'clock. He told that girl and didn't even mention the topic to me. Nicely done. I thought with sarcasm filling each word.

Wait! Why did I even think of such thoughts? Whoever he chose to talk about what he wanted was none of my concern. That's right. None of my business. And she was his secretary, after all.

But, should I go and see him? But Takeshino has already had that covered, so what was the point? Even so, I still want to see him, although, what should I say to him when I see him? Apologizing to him? Would that work, though? I know Ryotaro, both he and I knew that the both of us have one thing in common and that was our pride. I... I didn't know what to say to him. Maybe I shouldn't come at all, what could I do if I was to go there. He probably wouldn't even want to talk to me, let alone looking. Judging by his reaction, about not calling back that is, I could say that he was pretty much upset and disappointed at some points perhaps. So, I shouldn't go, after all. And he'd be tired after a long trip, I didn't think that he would be pleased to see me and dealt with our problem at hand. And then, the best choice to this was that I should let him rest for the night and talk to him later on. Yeah, that should do it. I hope so.

I looked at he clock again, and it was ten past ten. Ten minutes over the time limit, I'd better get going if I don't want to be late.

-

Three thirty, the clock said as I arrived at my second place of working, the library books arranger. Yes, boring job, but at least it was nice and quiet. I came into the place and started to work. There was a lot of books today dued to many people returning the books they borrowed. It was pouring outside today and I was glad to at least be inside somewhere instead of running around under the cold rain. It has lasted for several hours already, and I didn't like that. Not at all.

Three fifty. About ten more minutes and Ryotaro was offically back in Japan and Takeshino has probably be there waiting for him already. Then suddenly, someone had turned on the radio of their phone too loud as the whole library echoed with the sound of some reporter.

" We are at the scene of the crash that has just occurred." I ears picked up what the woman was saying. " Ladies and gentlemen, a very tragic accident had happened just fifteen minutes ago as the plane of flight number 835 crash down..." My heart skipped a beat.

My heart skipped a beat.

Flight number 8-835? That somehow sounded kind of familiar. And then something flashed through my mind.

_/ " Passengers on flight numer 835 please come to..." The louspeaker picked up as the voice of a woman echoed throughout the whole airport. /_

Oh God, no. It was Ryotaro's flight and he has two ways ticket, which mean that... No! I stumbled my way out of the library and rushed down into the street. It was raining hard but there were still many people outside. I squeezed my way through the crowd, trying to get to the bus station nearby that drive to the airport. But faith wasn't smiling with me that day, when I got there, the bus has already left for awhile.

Kuso.

No other choice. Despite the rain, the crowded street, I ran and ran, finding my way to my destination even though it was at least two kilometers away.

Please, God. If you could hear me, then please don't let anything happen to him. You have already taken so much away from me, but not this time. Please, I didn't know what I had done in my past life to get these punishments but if I was the cause then punish me, do anything you pleased, kill me even. Just... just leave Ryotaro alone. Oh, God. Please, please I beg of you...

_Can't blame you for thinking _

_That you never really knew at all_

_I tried to deny you_

_But nothing ever made me feel so wrong._

That feeling again, that very same burning feeling inside my chest every time I thought about what had happened between Ryotaro and I. What was this emotion? It was warm, yet so painful at the same time. I had gone away for five years and when I came back, he was still there, waiting for me. And yet, I didn't say a single thing, not an apology, I didn't tell him about what happened during the time I was away. Because... when I thought about it... I didn't really want him to get envolve. I didn't want to ruin the relationship we had because of all the fucking things that I had gone through, but...

_I thought I was protecting you_

_From everything that I go through_

_But I know that we got lost along the way..._

But I was wrong, everything I thought that would go right if I do so was wrong. I was so Goddamn mistaken. All I did was making things go awry and now, my stupidity has led me, us down to this road to hell.

_Here I am with all heart_

_I hope you understand_

_I know I let you down_

_But I'm never gonna make _

_That mistake again_

_You brought me closer _

_To who I really am _

_Come take my hand_

_I want the world to see_

_What you mean to me_

_What you mean to me..._

Please... Please, I'll even trade this life for you. Just... don't die on me, Ryotaro.

_Just know that I'm sorry_  
_I never wanted to make you feel so small  
Our story is just beginning  
But let the truth break down these walls._

And when I think about it, when I found out that he was the president of the S.A Corp. I wanted to leave, to just go away and disappear into nothingness once more and then I won't bother anyone, him, anymore. But when he held me in his warm, strong arms, called me by my given name and looked at me with will and determination burning in his eyes, something in me just sort of... cracked.

_And every time I think of you  
I think of how you pushed me through  
And showed me how much better I could be._

The rain fell down mercilessly against my body. I could feel the cold was eating down to my bones and for unknown reasons, a series of what he said started to flashed through my mind.

_/ " Ohayoo Tsukimori. Gomen-nasai, I haven't visit you for awhile. Daijobu desu ka?"_

" _Oh, c'mon! Stop chopping them like they are wood or something! You're practically slaughter them, not chopping!"_

" _Wow, I'm quite impress. Somehow you manage to cut yourself only twice this time around. Congratulation!"_

" _Nevertheless, you shouldn't do that so close to the house, darn it! You could have burn the whole thing!"_

" _Please, Len. Listen to me. She's dead. So please, let her go to the other world in peace. If you won't do it for my sake, than at least do it for hers. Let her died in peace, Len. You have to listen to me! I know it's hard. I can feel the pain you are feeling right now, but just let her go. Len!" _

" _Shhh... It's okay. No matter what, I'm here for you."_

" _I'll go, but remember, I'll be back tomorrow to check on you. So, while I'm gone, don't do anything stupid, okay?" _

" _I'll teach you how to make a delicious ramen noodles tomorrow. Just you wait, Len."_

" _I won't! I won't let you go anywhere. Not anymore." _

" _You said Tsukimori Len is dead. But do you have anything to prove that he is like you said?"_

" _You just only burried him here, not into the solid ground. So how could you be so sure? He is still alive. Somewhere in there, in that scared heart. In fact, he is right here, standing right here with us. Because you and him...are one in the same. You are him, so don't try to deny the fact." _

" _Why didn't you call me? For five years, not even a message! If you just told me then I could have help you! Why didn't you contact me?" _

" _Have a slice of cake. It's really delicious." _

" _You can do this." _

" _Len. I-I was wandering... Uhm... c-can I, you know, continue to... uhm... drive y-you to work?" _

" _Why would I go outside for lunch when I have this, silly?! Thanks, Len, for making it for me." _

" _I came to pick you up." _

" _What happened? Did you have a headache?"_

" _What?! Well, you don't have to say sorry you know. After all, seeing all of that flashed back through your mind must have been very painful. Nobody blames you. It was just a natural thing to feel and it was natural to express it, especially in your case."_

" _I said eat then eat like you mean it, not like that." _

" _Are you listening to me?"_

" _Listen, Len. Please, try to calm down. It's going to be okay. So please, try to calm your mind down." _

" _You're quite lucky today, you know. Normally, not anyone could win these games."_

" _D-Did you take your medication?" _

" _Sorry. But...uhm... you were murmuring something in your sleep and I came in and... and..."_

" _That 'someone' is... me, right?" _

" _Sshh... don't say that. It wasn't your fault that your parents died. The police had investigated and said that the accident occurred because the road was slippery and the driver was driving faster than he should. That was the reason why they passed away._

_Remember this, it wasn't your fault..."_

Each and every word he said was sencere, sweet, comforting... he really did care for me. And what did I do? Just stood there and giving him a cold shoulder. I didn't even consider what he might feel with my actions. Why? How could I do such horrible things? And what disgusted me the most...

Was the fact that I could live with my life without even a small flash of guilt of what I done while he had to suffer.

And only until now, when he was in trouble, that I was worried for his sake. I realized now that I was only using Ryotaro and I was no better than a bag of garbage in the wastebasket. Exactly the same with those bastards four years ago... just liked them. And how that fact made me want to throw up.

_Here I am with all my heart  
I hope you understand_

I don't know if you could find it in your soul to forgive me Ryotaro, but if you can't then it's fine, too. Because I don't deserve your trust, I am worth your time for the fact that I am... I am nothing but a lowly life.

_  
I know I let you down  
But I'm never gonna make  
That mistake again  
You brought me closer  
To who I really am  
Come take my hand  
I want the world to see  
What you mean to me._

In the cold, pouring rain, I kept on running and I was getting closer to the airport and I could see the police cars and ambulances and one from the station as well at the entrance. _  
_

_You make me feel like I'm myself  
Instead of being someone else  
I wanna live that every day_

When you decided to be in my life again, something changed. A warm and fuzzy feeling started to fill the void in my heart. And for the first time in ages, I really wanted to be with someone, to be by your side. I wished that I was something else so that I could fit with you. But we were so different, you were too kind, warm and along with all of the good things in the world, you were the light itself. And me? I was just a damned, pitiful and unneeded, no one wanted me. And yet I wanted to reach out for you from my pit of hell, however, your world of light was too much for me, Ryotaro. Too much...

_  
You say what no one else was saying  
You know exactly how to get to me  
You know it's what I need  
It's what I need yeah  
_

You understood me all too well. I didn't think for a second that no one would know me better than my parents, not until you came.

I couldn't feel my feet anylonger, but I still kept on running, running to where you were. Ryotaro, if it means dying for you to live, then I'm willing to do just that. But if you were to die then please wait for me, just for a moment, and I'll be with you, to see you for one last time, to apologize, to take one last long look at you and say one last good-bye before our paths parted, with you going to heaven and have enternal peace and with me going down, deeper, to a place that you'd never come. That's right, Hell.

I stumbled my way into the airport as the cool air rushed into my soak body as I felt the cold almost instantly. The police, doctors, nurses and people everywhere. I took a shaky stepped towards where I could see some of the doctors were treating those that were injured from the crash. The smell of blood and burned flesh immediately reached my nose and I could almost see the car crash that took my parents' lives away all those years ago as the room started to look kind of blur. I shook my head slightly. _' Focuse, Len.'_

Then I saw a doctor stepped out as he took off his elastic gloves that were stained with crimson blood. I went to him hesitately.

" Excuse me?" I found myself asking as he looked at me with weary eyes. I cleared my throat, somehow, speaking was starting to become a difficult task as the doctor looked at me with questioning eyes. " Uhm, Do you mind if I ask that was there a person name Tsuchiura Ryotaro in this flight?"

" Tsuchiura Ryotaro as in Tsuchiura the president of the S.A Corp.?" I nodded.

" Yeah, I checked the list and he is definitely in the flight b.."

" Ryuu, we need you!"

My heart skipped a beat. So he _was_ on the flight. Oh God. The room began to sway as I stepped away from the crowd, I needed to hold on something badly before I legs gave out on me. I gasped, each breath was forceful, my lungs seemed like they weren't working anymore. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes tightly. My jaw tightened, and something found its way up to my throat. I let out a dried cough.

Ryotaro was gone. He was gone, he was the last person in this pathetic life of mine that was important and now... And now all that was left was... this empty void.

My heart clenched as I slid down slowly onto the floor, the weight was too much to bear. Oh God, it hurt so much. Those golden eyes, his tanned skin, smile, laughter, everything about him was gone... No more... I had taken him for granted and now I have to pay the price.

I choked, but not a single tear came out my eyes. Why? Why is that?! People cry when they are unhappy or even happy. And me? I couldn't get a single drop out whether I was upset or not. Was I that heartless? How bad could I get? And God let person like me live and a good people liked my parents and Ryotaro died?

I laughed, I laughed like a defected person. This world was going insane, just liked me. I slid a hand into my damped hair and gripped it tightly as my eyes stared straight to the floor beneath me.

And I continued to sit there, I didn't even know how long I sat there. Until the loudspeaker picked up and it said something that didn't make sense to my ears. People were walking by as they murmured something incomperhensible. I was like a dead person. No, I should be one, too. I had promised that I would follow him and it was time to fullfil that promise. I stood up shakily, using the wall behind for support. The airport was near a beach if I remembered correctly. Yeah, I should come there and take a look, I have never been there before. Sure.

" _Len, try to live... live everyday to the...fullest of your ability, alright? You must...live...Len..."_

Mother's words breathed through my ears, and somehow I could understand this time. But, not this time. I'm sorry, mother. I have kept that promise for more than five years already. However, I have to break it this time and I'm so sorry for that. Really I am, please forgive me, but I'll repay you if we ever meet again in our next life.

I looked up at the arrival exit subconsciously as if expecting he was going to come out. But no, it will _never_ happen.

Gathering all the will in me, I turned away.

" Len?"

I came to a halt. Did someone just call me? I shook my head. No, I was starting to get delusional. No one was calling me. No one. It was just my imagination.

" Is that you?"

But that voice...

I hesitately turned around only to find myself drown in pools of golden. My eyes widened in disbelief. Tanned skin, green hair and those eyes... I couldn't believe my eyes. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. The words were stuck my dried throat. But I could see clearly that he quickly went out and walked closer to where I was as I did the same.

And before I could think, my pace quickened as the gap between us got shorter and shorter and... And I... punched him in the face.

I didn't even have control over my action.

" Bastard! Why didn't you tell me that you changed flight?!" That came out much different from what I planned, my voice was cracked and broken.

He stood there, holding the cheek I punched as I panted. Suddenly, my eyes felt kind of sting. I stood there, shivering up, but not because I was cold, but out of anger, upset, sadness and somewhat... relief, liked a huge rock had been lifted off my chest.

Not until Ryotaro came and pulled me into his arms that I finally realized I was crying. Hot tears rolling down only cheeks as his embrace tightened around my back. Cry slowly turned into sob as I let out all of the frustration that had bottled up all this time.

" I thought I have lost you forever..." I managed to say between sob. " Please, don't leave me, Ryotaro. Don't leave me all alone in this world."

_Here I am with all my heart  
I hope you understand  
I know I let you down  
But I'm never gonna make that mistake again  
You brought me closer  
To who I really am  
So come take my hand_

_I want the world to see  
What you mean to me  
What you mean to me..._

" _Ryotaro, you're... You are my everything..."_

-

-

-

_To be continued..._

_**A/N:**_ And just like any other time, how was the chapter? Good or bad? Please review. And yes I know, it's kind of mushy and girly right? Well, I had never expected it to turn out that way, neither. And again, please review and tell me what you think, okay?


	13. Sugarfree yogurt, anyone?

_**Chapter 13:**_ Sugar-free yogurt, anyone?

Ryotaro

He stood there.

Len stood there without struggling much in my tight embrace as his hands shakily clutched my shirt on the back and he was trembling quite badly. Something hot and wet fell, making the part of the shirt, where he buried his face clung onto my skin.

Was he crying?

I wasn't sure because his body has already soaked with water, until a soft choke came out from the form in my arms. My heart clenched at the sound. Why? Why was he here? Why was he so wet? And why was he crying in the first place? So many questions, yet, I didn't even know how to ask all of them.

Truth to be told, I didn't think that he'd show up. Len... wasn't really the type of person who'd go to the airport and pick up a friend, especially when that friend hadn't called him for the passed week. Although, I was happy to see him, even if I was still a little mad at the guy. But seeing him cry like this, seeing those tears once again fall out from those beautiful golden orbs, and I was the cause of it, really hurt me.

" I thought I have lost you forever..." Choking slightly as he said those words. " Please, don't leave me, Ryotaro. Don't leave me all alone in this world."

His arms tightened, as though afraid that I would disappear and this reuinion was just a delusion. I was stunned when I heard what he said though, I thought that he had said something more.

But I understood apart of this, now. Len must have heard about the plane crash and came here since he thought that I was still on the same plane, then thinking that I was dead with all of the commotion. After that, he saw me walking out and felt angry and punched me. And then... and then...

I looked down at him. He was scared. Len was scared of seeing another person died in front of him, again. Oh, God.

" Shhh... It's okay. I'm here, I'm right here and I'm not going to leave you, again, okay? No need to worry anymore." I leaned down and whispered into his ear and I could see his body relaxed visibly. " Let's go. You and I are going home."

He sniffed then nodded as he slowly let me go and both of us headed outside the airport, away from the crowd. They were too busy with the crash to bother us, especially the press so nothing to be worried about. And Takeshino must be here by now, too.

Len was walking next to me as he shoved a hand into his pocket and the other tried to wipe away the last of his tears from his eyes. I closed the gap between us and pulled him closer to me as I wrapped my arm around his shoulder, I could feel his muscle tensed up again.

" You don't have to..." I cut him off.

" Yeah, I don't have to but I _want_ to do this, Len." He looked at me with puffy, questionable eyes as I gave him a smile then he turned his face away and I thought I saw a small blush on his cheeks.

Takeshino has already waited outside when we were out of the airport as we went in the car. I asked the secretary to turn on the heater because Len was all but shivering from the cold and his soaked clothing wasn't helping much, either. I thought about getting him back to his apartment so that we won't waste time to get him into somewhere warm and have a change of clothes, but that option had been officially crossed out of the list. I could not and would not let him go back there. It didn't even have a heater for God sake! And it wasn't in the best condition to be living in, anyway. So no matter how many times we're going to argue over this it didn't matter, as long as he is safe.

I said goodbye to Takeshino as the car left us at the door to the house and started to fish the key out from my pocket.

" Why did you bring me here?" A sudden question came from Len that surprised me for a little, since it was still raining pretty damn hard and the atmosphere was quiet as well.

" I don't have to answer that. You know the reason too well by now, Len." I said while trying to find the key that was somewhere among all of the crumbled pieces of paper in here.

" I can take good care of myself, I'm not a child."

" Yes." Bingo! Here you are key. " But remember that I have been there more than once and from said reason above..." The door made a soft 'click'-ing sound as I pushed the door and snatched his wrist in the mean time then led us both inside. " I know that your place doesn't have a heater, the futon is worn out and it won't provide you with much warmth and there's not even a drop of hot water there. What to do, Len?"

Len opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out. For the first time ever, I won the argument. I wanted to let out a victorious smile but better not do it in front of him, or else, despite the rain, the guy could just storm out and go the nearest bus station and get back to his apartment.

" Come one. Go and take a shower before you freeze to death."

And surprisingly, Len did go and do what I said as I smiled a bit. Finally, something I said has gotten through that thick skull of his. I went up to my room and carefully chose a thick long-sleeve T-shirt for him and a pair of knee-length pants. Them along with the bed mattress and blanket should keep Len warm and comfy enough to at least drift to sleep. I was awared that he has nightmares from time to time and I bet that they weren't so pleasant and they managed to keep him up all night after he woke up. Hopefully, this time he would sleep with much comfort to at least somewhere around morning rather than in the middle of the night.

The sound running water met my ears as it came from downstairs as I brought the set of clothes down for him. I knocked the door and went in, from behind the white current, I could still see the silhouette of his figure quite clearly on it. Clear enough to tell that he got his back faced me, from my point of view, I couldn't breathe. Because I could see every curve of his feature, from the broad shoulders; long, slender arms that were washing his hair and the soft curve of the waist. I shook my head and put the clothes into the straw basket.

" I leave you some change of clothes in the basket, okay?" I said and pick up the wet ones to put them in the washing machine later on.

" Thank you." He replied quietly as I went out and closed the door.

Dinner was quiet, just liked the trip back to the house. I made rice curry, a little bit of something hot to warm up since the rain wasn't going to stop anytime soon. We ate as I looked at Len from the corner of my eyes. He was acting liked he would normally. But the image of his eyes filled with tears and what he said back then to me just kept on flashing inside my mind and my heart clenched everytime.

" Hey." I broke the silence as he looked up with questionable eyes. " I was wondering... Did you... did you run all the way to the airport?"

His shoulders stiffened visibly then suddenly he shrugged it off, but he was avoiding eye-contact with.

" The bus had left by the time I came so I have to do what I did." He said it calmly as though it was an every day thing. Then, abruptly, his eyes hardened as he finally look me in the eyes and I could see that something was burning inside them. And at that moment, I understood what he meant to ask.

" Well, I got my wallet stolen by some thieves and I put the ticket in there so there was no other choice for me but to push down my flight. Luckily enough, I didn't put any important paper or ID card or passport, etc." I smiled sheepishly, though, that was the truth. His gaze was still on me as he nodded then turned back to eat.

" Wait. And tell me again why exactly did you run to the airport?"

" I told you that the bus has already left the station when I got there." He looked at me quizzically.

" Then why didn't you just take a freaking cab?" I asked, his eyes were still looking at me.

" Hn." With that he turned away. I arched an eyebrow. What the hell? Why didn't he... Then something hit me, mentally. Wait. Oh God, I shouldn't have asked that. Of course he didn't take he cab because he was too freaked out to even think properly. I sighed, okay, that was rude of me to ask...

" Sorry." He looked up upon hearing my sudden apology. " Well, for asking the stupid, unnecessarily question." He shrugged ever so lightly.

" It's fine." With that we continued on eating.

Well, Len will always be Len. Although, the blank expression he just had on his face didn't convince me that he felt the same thing inside. With, what I called emtional breakdown he had in the aiport, he was really worried about me, but, worried is a huge understatement, it was something different not just worried. But I don't know how to describe it, not at all. However, one thing I do know is that I wasn't going to let that happen again, never.

" Good night, Len." I said as I smiled softly. He stood there, looking indifferent and nodded.

" Good night to you, too." It came out a little stern but nonetheless, I could see his gaze softened. That's good enough for me I guess. I nodded in replied then closed the door as I went back to the room. Luckily, I got a day off tomorrow so I could just take it easy.

Lying in the bed as I remembered the fateful moment before I went on the plane.

_**~Flashback~**_

I just went out of the cab that brought me to the airport, the air was chilling as I put my free hand in my pocket and pitied the other for holding the suitcase. While fishing for some unknown things in my pocket, the phone touched my fingers, then I suddenly remembered the fact that I haven't called him for all week already. I sighed, but because of what he said I didn't really know what to do. It hurt me a lot when hearing him said such words. Oh man! This is so confusing! I gritted my teeth then started to walk inside the airport, which was bustling with people. Trying to squeeze my way in suddenly I felt something brushed against my pant's pocket. I didn't really mind it not until I stuff my hand back insie and found that that pocket was empty! What the hell? I spun around and saw two guys were running away and fast out of the airport.

" Damn it!" I shouted. " Oh man, the money, the ticket!" People were looking at me but I didn't care as I slumped down on the waiting bench. Kuso! I burried my face into my palms and let out shaky breaths. But then after a few minutes, I thought to myself, I couldn't have let such things brought me down right. Sure, things have been complicated but I still have to get going. No giving up now, since I wanted to talk to Len, right? Yeah...

_**~End of Flashback~**_

And then I just bought another ticket, and thankfully enough they have a few seats left in the next coming up flight in about an hour later. After that nothing special happened, not until I returned to Japan.

My mind wondered back at the airport again, something from the back of mind kept on nagging at me that Len _did_ say something at the end and it was somehow important but I could figure out what it was. I shrugged, maybe I was just being paranoid.

_Normal P.O.V_

Gasping.

No, panting was filled in the room. Who was panting? Len asked, he didn't know but the thing was that he could that heavy sound of breathing very close to his ears. He didn't know because everything was dark, he was drowning in blackness.

_What is going on?_

He thought to himself. And he found himself sweating. A lot. And later on he figure out one more thing that the sound of panting was most likely to come from him since it didn't fade away.

Golden eyes opened, as he did so a dull headache struck him senseless, he winced a little and shut his eyes again. Moments later, the heavy eyelids reopened again, this time with slow motion, he looked around, everything was blurry and so was his mind. It was foggy and Len couldn't think straight.

Then he heard noise. Someone was saying something, at least he thought so. What was that person saying? And again, he didn't know. The only things he knew then was the fact that he was hot, sweaty, his head was hurt and his throat was sored much to his dislike.

The azure-haired man tried to position himself sitting up by using his elbows for support. And then their was sound of someone speaking, again. This time louder, somebody was shouting. But who? His brain was uttely useless at that moment, he couldn't make out what the hell that someone was saying or understand anything at all. Damn. Maybe he should try buying a new brain after he figured out this mess. Yeah.

Len found himself smiling at the thought, or so he thought that he was smiling. Suddenly, something touched him on the shoulder. Which shoulder? Left or right? Okay, he had to say that he has completely lost it.

" ... lie down... burning up... fever!" Great. His ears was working again, a little bit in the least, so did his brain. Yay! And then it clicked into place, everything. So he had a fever. A fever! No, wait. Was this person talking to him or someone else? He had to make sure of that. Yeah...

" Oh man. Damnit Len! Stay still, you're running a 39 degree Celsius fever for God sake!"

Ryotaro literally shouted. Darn it. Did the guy even know that he was sick or did he just ignore it completely? Who knows, anything could happen when you have a stubborn guy with a fever.

At first, the pianist found Len was unconscious, or sleeping, with a high fever. And then he took care of him. Thank God that he let himself have a day of rest before going to work again tomorrow and for the fact that he was _right_ to bring Len back to the house. God, what would have happened if he had let him go back to his so-called apartment?

And now back to the current situation that Ryotaro was trying to have Len lie back down. He had finally woken and now the bastard was trying to sit up!

" Come on. Listen to me for a chance would you! Like yesterday, perhaps." He said, trying to push the pale figure back to the bed.

Tan hands pushed him down and this time, he did fall back down onto the soft pillow. Good. Maybe something really did get into his ears... or was it because of the sickness that he was weak? Again, who knows.

When Ryotaro was about to take his hands away, a hand held him back. _' Len?'_

Tsukimori had his hand grab the pianist's wrist, weakly but you could still feel the firmness in it. Those golden daze orbs stared at him for awhile, at first showing a bit of confusion as his eyebrows furrowed delicately and slips slightly apart. Ryotaro could see Len's face clearly, the way his hair clutched to his cheek-bones, framing his face thanks to the sweat, how his pale cheeks flushed a little bit because of the fever and how his eyes were half-lidded and those eyelashes blinked every once in a while in a seductive way. Whether that was intentional or not, Ryotaro didn't know. He only knew one thing that his face was starting to feel like it was burning.

And then, those slender fingers slowly let go of the pianist wrist as it fell down onto the bed and Len's eyes were once again closed. A minute or so later, his breathing deepened, he was drifting back to sleep.

_Ryotaro_

I withdrew my hand immediately after Len had let go of it and turned away, I knew all too well that I was blushing. That damn guy! I frowned and shook my head to get rid of all the stupid thoughts.

I went to the night stand, where a brass basin was put, and dipped the damp cloth that had fallen down from Len's forehead when he struggled to sit up. Squeezing all of the unnecessary water out of the cloth, I lay it back onto his forehead again and let it do its job, cooling the burning forehead.

Then suddenly, I heard the door bell rang. I frowned, who could it be? Well, who could be _bothering_ me on a weekday, to be precise. I came out and closed the door softly behind me, trying not to wake my so-called patient up.

The ringing was getting more intense as I hurried down stairs as I wiped my wet hands against my pants a little.

" Coming!" I said loudly, irritation filling my voice as I opened the door. " Who is it?" My eyes widened a bit when I saw a tan figure stood riht in front of my face.

" Yo!" There were many others behind him as well.

" Hihara-senpai?" I exclaimed.

" The one and only!" He said smiling. " I brought some companies along, hope ya don't mind." I looked over his shoulder for a better view when I saw that the whole gang was there much to my dismay. Great. And they didn't look that willing at all, so Hihara-senpai dragged them along with him again I would say though, I saw that there was a sign of relief on their faces as well, Azuma-senpai, Shimizu, Fuyuumi and even Kanazawa-sensei.

" And how exactly do you know where I'm living and why are you here anyway?"

" C'mon! Finding the resident of one of the richest company in Japan is not that hard! 'Side, Miyabi-chan said that she saw your name was on the passengers list of the plane that crashed yesterday and I was worried! And then out of no where, my bro told me that he thought he saw outside of the airport so I have to check things out a little."

He grinned cheerfully with his hands behind his head. Well, I did kinda forget that Azuma-senpai's sister was working in the airport so of course she knew that. And the fact that Hihara-senpai's brother was a journalist seemed to have slipped my mind, too. Great. I thought sarcastically and sighed a bit.

" Well, good to see breathing and alive liked what my bro said, Tsuchiura." I smiled a little, this guy could be loud sometimes but he did care a lot for the people he knew.

" Thanks. And would you like to come into the house and have so-..." I was cut off by a loud crashing noise came from inside the house.

" What was that?" I heard someone said as my brain registered what was happening. No was in the house except for me and... Shit!

I ran back into the house and heard footsteps following me closely. The only place that you could hear something crash that loud and clear was the kitchen. I came to the door and saw it opened as I went inside and I saw that Len was bending down on the ground and trying to pick up the fragments of what I think was a broken glass.

" What are you doing?" I shouted as he looked at me weirdly, those eyes were half-lidded and the flush was still on his cheeks.

" Picking up the broken pieces?" His voice was hoarse as he tried to speak properly.

" No! That's not what I mean. What the hell are you doing out of bed?" He looked at me for a while then said.

" Hey, no cursing, badstard." My eyes widened as I heard laughing from behind my back, Hihara-senpai was having quite a good time.

" Hey, you said no cursing then what gives you the right to call me 'badstard'?"

" No, I didn't. What's wrong with your ears? Who called you 'badstard'?" The laughter increased.

I sighed then went to his place as I tried to get him back up to the room, it was cleared that his brain wasn't really functional with the high fever. " Let's go back to your room." I pulled his arm but he yanked back.

" No." I sighed one more time and tried again.

" Let's go."

" I said no." I frowned, he sounded like he was whining.

" Len! I said, 'Let's go back to your room'!" I was getting frustrated, the sickness was making him more and more stubborn. Didn't he know he was sick? Wait, why should he know. I answered my own question sarcastically.

" I said no, mother!"

I froze. What did he just call me, again? I looked down at him with disbelief in my eyes as he frown and eyes opened big to look at me childishly. Oh God, this was really having a toll on him and even myself. I could hear that after a shocking minutes, the others snickered and turned into laughing. I bit my lips.

" Go back to your room!" He shook his head rapidly. He really was acting like a child. I sighed, well, if he liked to play this way, then why not play along?

" Len, if you go back to your room, I'll give you a... candy?" I said hesitately, I knew he didn't like sweet but you'd never know with... _kid_.

" No. No candy!"

" Right, no candy..." I said then smiled nervously, after that, I suddenly remembered something that could help me. I bent down to his eyes level then slowly, sweetly whispered in his ear. " How about sugar-free yogurt?"

His eyes were wide opened. I literally smirked. Bingo! This _was_, after all, his _favorite_. All of that time spending with him before he left five years ago gave me quite an idea about himself.

" Honto?" He asked sweetly with a hint of innocent in his voice. I nodded, suddenly, I felt so sad. I didn't know why but, really, I... I wish that he would stay like this forever. So innocent, childish even if he was stubborn. I smiled then used my hands to pull him up from the floor.

" But only when you promise to be a good boy and go back to your room." He nodded, finally. " Good. I'll help you. Let's go." I pushed up slightly from the back as we went out of the room and before the door closed, I turned to my side and said. " You guys sit there and wait for me for a bit, okay?" Then closed the door.

I tucked him into bed, literally, as he lay comfortly on the soft mattress with the blanket covered him warmly.

I looked at him, his eyes were closed and maybe he was drifting back to sleep again. My mind replayed the minute when he suddenly called me his 'mother'... I turned red, damn this guy, how the hell did he mistook me for his mother anyway? Well, maybe because I was nagging at him to get back to his room. But Hamai Misa, Hamai Misa was a gentle woman, she was a kind, good-hearted toward other people and especially her son. She cherished him a lot, since he was after all her one and only son and she knew that he has a problem with socializing with people. She played the piano beautiful, too. She was the best. She everything of a mother one could think of...

_You really miss her a lot, don't you._

I looked at the pale feature on the bed again and placed a hand on his face to caress the cheek. At least I still have a mother.

I stood up and softly went out of the room, he won't be waking up anytime soon thanks to the pills.

" Yo, nanny! How's it going? Or should I call you 'mother'." Hihara-senpai teased when I opened the door.

" Shut up." They laughed.

" Gomen-nasai. Just kidding! Kidding, Tsuchiura."

" Yeah, some joke was that." I said sarcastically then turned toward the mini kitchen. " Would you like some tea?"

" Nah! Don't be too formal, Tsuchiura. It's not your style." Kanazawa-sensei said as he pulled out a cigarette.

" And no need to thank me but I got everything on tape!"

" What on tape?"

" I had recorded everything happened with my camera!" Blinked. I blinked at him owlishly, what the hell did he just said?

" WHAT?"

I sighed and closed the door, finally, they left, but not after teasing me to death with what happened and making tell them everything from the reason why Len was here to why he was sick. I summarized everything without forgetting to leave the 'hugging' scene out of the way.

I looked at the video tape on the table. Hihara-senpai managed to bring along another spare one so he insisted me to make a copy, which I had no choice but to do so since he had already running up to the stairs and said that he'd try to wake Len up and record him again. I knew that he was joking, honestly, even if you give him money for it, he won't do anything like that. Even so, I still played along and made a copy of it; truth to be told, I really wanted to see that scene from an outsider's perspective.

I went back into the room to have another check on Len. He was still sleeping soundly and thank God his fever was broken. I wouldn't know what to do if that continued anylonger. I smiled as my palm touched against his pale and smooth skin, which was getting cooler. I sat there and watched as his chest slowly rose up and down underneath the thick blanket. He looked so peaceful when he was sleeping liked that and it seemed that he wasn't having any nightmare this time around. That was a good sign.

I stood and began to walk out of the room, a guy deserve some peace and quiet for a chance and he didn't need me to disturb it at the moment.

Len finally woke up that night as his eyes slowly looking back and forth in the room as his golden eyes landed on the nightstand besides him. There was a jar of sugar-free yogurt and a piece of paper with something scribbled on it.

" _A jar of delicious sugar-free yogurt just as promise for the good boy."_

_To be continued..._

_**A/N:**_ Wasn't Len cute or not? ( In my opinion, anyway ). Well, R&R people, reviews make me want to write and give me lots of inspiration, too. So please, review, okay? And by the way, I'm on summer vacation now so I can be more focus on my story! Great. Well, see you later. I'll try to update even though lately it seems that my story has lost many readers. Maybe it's getting a bit boring, huh? (^_^) Don't worry, I'll try and make it up for you.

Love

L.a.f


	14. Stay for Dinner

_**Chapter 14:**_ Stay for Dinner

" No."

" What?" I almost shouted. God, this guy really was famous for his stupid ego and stubborness! " Come on, Len. Just say that you'll agree."

He shook his head as he stood up from the bed and went to the window with his arms crossed in front of his chest. We were in the room I told him to stay in every time he came to my house. It has been only two days since the time he had a fever, and we were discussing about him moving in with me. And the only idea he ever had in that thick skull of his was to refuse my suggestion.

" Listen, Ryotaro. I am very grateful that you were kind enough to take care of me when I was sick; but, really, it doesn't mean that it is necessary for me to move in with you. I appreciate your kindness, but no thank you." He said in a stern way, not that different from the usual tone but it wasn't cold and icy like before. I was glad; even so, somehow he was still too stubborn for his own good.

" It's not about you being grateful or not, but it's about whether this will make your life better." I said and frowned, I was getting angry. The conversation has been going on for almost half an hour already and it wasn't going anywhere.

He looked at me, the same stoic look plastered on his face. Then after a second or two, he shook his head again.

" Making my life better or creating a life that I only know how to lean on you?"

" No."

" So you just want me to come here and live with you so that you can drive me to work with you, give me a cozy room, cook me a decent dinners, have hot-water baths and take care of me when I'm sick?" He looked at me amusingly as he raised an eyebrow.

Okay, I have to admit he _was_ right. I did plan _all_ of that in my head when I was done with persuading him to come and live with me.

" Well, that's... what friends do! We are friend so we have to help each other, right?" His face was impassive. Great. Think of something Tsuchiura, or else, this plan is going down the toilet. I looked around, trying to think of something then I realized one thing. I looked up at him and smiled.

" If so, then you can stay here until you find another place that is in _better_ condition then your current one and you can move out. And during that time you can pay your own monthly bills." I can see that his facial expression was changing ever so slightly. This idea seemed to be working, at least I think so. " So, what do you say, Len? I've made it into a fair deal already and now it's up to you."

" But it's still not enough to cover all of the things that you will do while I'm staying here."

" Nah! Don't worry. Give me ten minutes then I'll tell you the price you'll have to pay to live in this luxurious mansion of mine." With that I smiled again, and went out of the room.

I returned later on right after ten minutes like I said and I told him that he needed to pay me five hundred dollars per month. He looked at me again and said that he'd consider about this. I didn't know what to do but to nod and say that I'd be waiting for his answer.

= xXx =

_Normal P.O.V_

Working. Working. Working.

Okay, the office was busy with all of the paper work because of the new contracts that had been signed not too long ago and old business as well. Everyone in the company work on and on, nonstop. And all of the staff was worn out but still kept on trying.

Tsuchiura Ryotaro, the president of the company, has been trying to balance the schedule to make sure that no one would work too much or vise versa.

Cough.

The tan man turned toward the sound, Len just coughed again. They were in the office of the company and it was three in the afternoon. Len had been hired to work full time with the company, good thing, though he has been busier than ever. And lately, he has been coughing. That worried Ryotaro.

" You okay?" He asked as those golden eyes looked up at him and nodded then turned back to work. Tsuchiura sighed, the pale man hasn't answered his question earlier about moving house and all and now the coughing, too. He couldn't drag Len to the hospital, he didn't want and couldn't force the violinist into doing so.

Great.

Absentmindedly, Ryotaro looked at the calendar on the desk and smiled secretly. Although Len always precise and he has good memory, this time, the guy has forgotten something and Ryotaro was willing to make him remember. He had everything all planned up.

= xXx =

Just right after working hours, Ryotaro dragged Len outside and started to drove him to an unknown place. The guy didn't even answer any of Len's questions specifically, he was practically speaking riddles. The violinist on the other hand, didn't understand a thing what his friend were saying. He just kept on saying about something that he has forgotten. But what?

Len didn't know, he couldn't figure out what that was supposed to mean as he let his mind wondered outside the window. No use wasting energy on thinking about something that he didn't know, he thought to himself. And then everything went by in a blur.

They stopped in front of a house, just and average house, as Ryotaro pulled him into the house and opened the door without even bother to press the door bell.

" Saotomi, did you open the door?" A voice of a woman asked from the room on the left, not far from where they were standing.

" No, I didn't. I thought it was you. Let me have a check!" Another female voice answered from the stairs above and then followed her voice was hurried footsteps. A girl girl came down, she looked kind of young with knee-length jeans and a white T-shirt with three flowers on the front. She has short brown hair and wore glasses. She stared at them, no scratched that, she was rather staring at the taller, tan man. After several moments, she finally went to where they were.

" Well, well. Look who decided to come back. And here I am, thinking that you have been locked up in a zoo somewhere over sea, monster." She folded her arms in front of her chest. " Why don't you just stay in that company of yours forever since you love it so much?" She has a stern, yet, playful look on her face. Ryotaro just laughed for a bit.

" Yeah, yeah. I miss you too, sis. And sorry for not being able to visit." Then that smile turned into a smirk. " So, finally convinced your husband to let you go somewhere alone without him _haunting_ you wherever you go?"

" First of all, monster, it's not 'haunting', it calls being 'over protective'. And secondly, why would I need to convince him anyway?"

" Che, whatever. By the way, where's my little outouto?" She pointed a thump back up stairs.

" He's taking a shower. He's been bragging on and on about some... stupid things, who knows. Go and talk to him or seriously, I'm gonna go deaf some day."

Ryotaro merely nodded and then they kept on talking about some other things that Len couldn't understand as the guy blinked. Maybe Ryotaro accidentally made a wrong turn somewhere when on the other hand, Len thought they were going to back to his apartment like the usual. Well, it was only seven in the evening, not too late to catch a bus and go back to take a rest, besides, they wouldn't notice his absence. Quietly, Len turned around but suddenly something grabbed him on the arm and Ryotaro kept on chattering with a smile on his face as he literally pulled Len back into his place.

" Sis, I have someone to introduce to you." He pushed Len forward. " It's my friend, his name is..." The pianist hesitated for a second or two. " Tsukimori, Tsukimori Len."

The azure-haired turned to look, glare, at him from the corner of his eyes, but the grips on his shoulders tightened.

Ryotaro's sister observed the person in front of her and then pushed her glasses up to her nose bridge.

" I don't know whether you want to be a model or not, but seriously, you need to put on some weight. You look like a freaking ghost, too thin and too pale for your own good. Maybe that was the reason why I didn't notice you until now." She put her hands on her hip and looked down at Len. The said person just merely looked at her, impassive. And Ryotaro just laughed, rather loudly.

" Yeah. Tell him sis! Nothing I said get through that thick skull of his." The female raised an eyebrow and looked at Len amusingly.

" Really? Well, we'll have that fix in no time." She winked wickedly toward Ryotaro as the other man nodded with an equal smirk. " Oh, I haven't introduced myself. Sorry! I'm Tsuchiura Saotomi. Nice to meet you." She beamed and smiled. Well, at least Len has found another resemblance apart from the golden eyes in the siblings, they liked to smile. The violinist nodded and took the offered hand in front of his face and shook.

" What's with all of the noise around here?" The other voice that Len had heard the first time he came in spoke up again. A woman with the same brown hair, but it was long and pulled up into a small bun behind her neck, stepped out. She looked much older than the others. Must be the mother. " Ryo?" Her eyes widened a little as the said person came and gave her a passionate hug.

" Well, I thought I heard your voice out here." Her smile suddenly turned into a stern look. " Bad boy. Where have you been?" She said playfully.

" Mom, I told you that I was busy. But I here I am, right?" He smiled cheekily as his arm reached out and once again pulled Len closer. " And I brought a long a friend, too. Tsukimori Len."

" Oh, really? Nice to meet you, Tsukimori-kun. Welcome to our house. My name is Tsuchiura Tokine." Len blinked, a little confused at first, then bowed his head down respectfully.

" Good evening, Tsuchiura-sama. It is a pleasure to meet you."

" Oh, what a gentleman." Len straightened up then said.

" B-..." However, he didn't got a chance to even begin his sentence when, out of the blue, Ryotaro jumped in.

" Can he stay here and have dinner with us, mom?" He beamed.

" Of course! Everyone is welcome." She smiled then turned her attention back to the boy in front of her. " And what were you saying, Tsukimori-kun?"

" Yeah, what did you want to say, Len?" The tan man leaned down and asked sheepishly as though he has no idea what the other was about to say. Actually, Len was about to excuse himself and go home it seemed that he couldn't decline the offering thanks to a certain person.

" No, it was nothing."

After that, before he could even think about any other thing, he found himself being dragged into the kitchen, yet again. And then he was pushed down a sofa and out of nowhere a cup of hot tea was on the table in front of him, then the three of them went behind the counter, which separated the living room with the kitchen, and started cooking up something and began to chatter, again. Len offered some help, since, after all, he was in other people's house, but he was answered with three brightly smiling face and three words. " No, thank you!"

The sound of chatter died down a bit and then they started to talk about some other subjects that he didn't know what they were talking about, his mind was starting to scatter thanks to the warm atmosphere, the comfy sofa underneath and the steam cup of tea in his hands.

Golden eyes traced to where the three figures were standing, he saw them talking, smiling, laughing as they cooked then he looked over to the mother, Tsuchiura-sama as he called her. The woman noticed the glance as she looked at him from the corner of her eyes and smiled then continued her work.

_/ The room was big but there were only three people occupied it. Len sat over at the table with his father just across from where he was. He has just returned from school and at that moment sitting in the dining room after changing out of his outfit and having a shower. He glanced at his mother, who was cooking behind the counter. Her arms swiftly doing all of the necessary things then as if sensing that her son was looking at her, Hamai Misa turned and looked at him from the corner of her eyes and smiled warmly._

" _It's almost done, dear." She said gently./_

Len fingers kept on turning the tea cup in his hand, circle after circle. His expression was blank but his eyes looked as if they were in a daze. He was concentrated and Ryotaro knew that right away.

" Mom, sis. I need you two's help." He whispered quietly, knowing that although Len's mind was somewhere else, he was still very sharp.

= xXx =

" Yo, little bro!" Ryotaro said as they did some kind of secret handshake including some turning and loud noise and that snapped Len out of his daze. He looked up, a tall boy but not as tall as his little brother, he was wearing normal clothing with short and a T-shirt that has color like the soldier's uniform in the army and a picture of a tank on it. Len hardly noticed that this person was present in the room until then.

" Good to finally see you again, aniki!" The boy has messy brown hair, a little long as it fell down on his neck, water was still dripping from it. Len could see that Ryotaro was the only person in the family that has green hair, so far. " Oh, who's the little guy?" The younger asked sheepishly as nerves popped on the temple of the said _little guy_. Ryotaro interrupted and answered the innocent question of a curious boy, who just turned twenty-one not long ago, with a nervous laugh.

" Don't be rude. He's my friend, Tsukimori Len. I invited him over to have dinner with us."

" Sorry for what I've said. I'm Tsuchiura Kiryuu, a pleasure to meet you." They shook each other hand then the two brothers went on talking loudly about games, soccer, cool guns, etc. They kept going on and on until Saotomi couldn't take the noise anymore and told them to go to the other room and talk.

= xXx =

Ryotaro's father, Tsuchiura Ishizuchi, returned from work finally and then he greeted Len warmly and treated him in a friendly way just like everyone else in the family did.

And then there was dinner, they all gathered to the dining table and even though the space was a bit small because of one extra person, they were still laughing and chatting as if having another guest, stranger, in the house was a normal thing. They joked about each other than burst out laughing about it. Len stared at everything, at how they were acting, the way they talk and their attitude.

Something warm was squirming inside his stomach.

He's never felt like this, not for a long time already...

Dinner was served, rice with fried fish and there was fried noodles with vegetables, soup with carrot, potato and cabbage in it. Not some fancy things, it was normal. Just like a normal family would eat for their meal.

The father started to talk about his day at work, then their mother began, too. Soon, the sister joined along with Ryotaro and his little brother. They ate and chatted happily. So happy.

" Why don't you eat, Tsukimori-kun?" Someone asked and snapped Len out of another daze. He immediately grabbed his bowl and chopsticks and murmured something that sounded like an apology.

" Come on, you have to eat more." Tokine-sama said with a gentle smile as she took one of the fried fish with her chopsticks and put it in his bowl. " Have a fish."

" A-arigatou, Tsuchiura-sama." The violinist said quietly.

" You can just call me Tokine, Tsukimori-kun. It's fine."

" Yes... Tokine-sama." He said as the mother giggled, she found that this boy sitting in front of he was quite interesting to watch.

" Well, then you can all call us by our first names. No need to be shy." The head of the family announced enthusiastically as the others agreed. Then another slice of vegetable landed inside Len's bowls. The sister did it as she smiled softly.

" Arigatou."

" You don't have to. You are, after all, a part of the family now. So, feel free to do what you want, okay?"

Golden eyes widened as he looked at everyone from the parents to the siblings then to Ryotaro, who was smiling his bright usual smile.

_/ Sitting alone in the living room as Len read a book he had borrowed from the library for his book report. The weather was chilling outside, it was near Winter after all. But that didn't bother Len that much. The book was slowly absorbing his interest as Len kept on reading to the point where he wasn't even aware of his surrounding. The door opened as his parents went in quietly, they were smiling secretly as his father put his hand on Len's shoulder. Len jerked slightly as he turned around immediately to look. His father smiled._

" _What are you doing, son?" He asked softly._

" _I'm reading, father." A stiff answer as always._

" _Well, would you mind if we interrupt you for a little?" _

" _Of course I wouldn't." _

_His parents sat down on the couch as Hamai-sama put a small box onto the glass table. Len looked at it, trying to guess what was inside._

" _It's almost Winter, right? So your father and I thought that we should give you something that you can keep yourself warm." Len looked at them then pulled the box on the table closer to him as he opened, and there was a pair of amber leather gloves. _

" _Thank you, mother, father. I like them a lot."/_

The memory slowly faded back into the back of his head as he found that he was staring strangely at his bowl, and just like him the other members of the Tsuchiura family, too, were staring. However, the target was him. Len could tell that he had turned red for a little when sensing the heat on the cheeks.

" I'm sorry for spacing out, again. Please, continue to eat." But they still looked at him, trying to make sure whether he really was okay like he sounded. As if knowing what they were thinking, Len put on, surprisingly, a small smile. " I'm fine. Please eat before the food gets cold.

They listened to him except for Ryotaro was he stared harder at his friend. Did he just smile?

Blink, blink.

Yeah, he did. A small voice answered him from the back of his mind.

He did?

YES!

Finally turning away, the tan man felt like he was in a daze, like he has been struck by something. He never thought that Len would suddenly smile like that, not in public let alone with people he has only been with for nearly an hour. Well, maybe bringing wasn't such a bad idea at all.

He ate some rice as he chewed on it around left and right in his mouth. And that was cute, too. Mentally smacking himself, Ryotaro blushed for a little bit. Len rarely smiled, his family didn't know that, of course, but he did; so he has the right to appreciate it. Yeah.

They finished the meal quickly after that; and then, when they thought that everything was over for the night, Tokine, the mother, stood up and told them stay still and she would be right back. A few seconds later, she returned with a tray and six cups on it. They all stared wide-eyed, wondering what was going on. Ryotaro was asking himself whether he had told him mom to do it, or did she do it herself. Since, seriously, he really must be going old if it wasn't the latter.

The mother smiled sweet as she gave the first cup and a spoon to Len and the glass has two-layered jelly in it, the white one on the bottom and the blue one on top along with a little bit of yogurt for the icing and two leaves of mint. It was the most delicious looking one in them all and it suited its reputation, too.

Len looked at her with a surprised expression as she gave him another smile and left to place the other cups down swiftly for the rest of the family, and returned to her own seat with one in her hands.

" Ryo." She called her second child as if expecting for him to say something. He nodded in returned and stood up, clearing his throat.

" No need to be so serious, little brother." His sister said as snickers came out from the others, making the poor guy even more nervous as he sent her a murderous look with a blush on the cheeks.

" Uhm, I just want to say that..." He tried to find something to say, since all of the things he had prepared suddenly vanished as though they didn't even exist. " Len, I know that you're not that forgetful but you did leave something out of your mind. The reason I brought you to my family today was because today is April the 24th, your birthday."

And for the first time, Len realized what the thing Ryotaro kept on telling him he had forgotten was. His eyes widened for the second time in the day as he stared at the tan figure. Ryotaro stood there with a calm and kind look on his face and a heart-warming smile as he said in final.

" Happy birthday, Len."

His family burst out cheering and laughing as they clapped their hands loudly. Golden eyes looked around, so everyone knew? He couldn't believe this. His heart was throbbing inside his rib-cage and there was a strangely warm feeling that felt like it was spreading inside of him. So soft and gentle, it made his eyes sting; but the tears never came out as he held himself back. Crying was unnecessary, especially on occasion like this. Len thought to himself. He was overjoyed! Then why should he do such a significant thing like crying? Nonsense.

Len smiled. A very warm and happy smile that came right from the bottom of his heart.

" Thank you, everyone. Thank you for celebrating my birthday with me."

Their laughing, the sound of them talking filled his soul. He could, literally, see them smiling from hearing their voices as he close his eyes still keeping the smile on his lips, enjoying the moment while it lasts.

'_So, this is what it feels like to have a family. It has been so long but I remember, now. I remember, now; and I think that I understand what you meant too, mother.'_

= xXx =

The deserts were lovely and they were finished up pretty fast. The siblings laughed and teased at each other a lot. Len approached Tokine and asked he could help her wash the dishes. The woman refused at first, but Len kept insisting about it. So, in the end, she nodded and let him helped out, but since it was his birthday, she only told him to dry the wet dishes with a clean cloth that she gave.

Outside in the living room, the siblings and their father were watching the television when Ishizuchi turned toward his oldest son and said.

" That friend of yours, Tsukimori, right? I think he is the nicest kid that you ever brought into our house. The others were a bunch of trouble-makers."

" Come on, Dad. They weren't that bad." _' Okay, maybe they were.'_ Ryotaro added secretly as he told his father. " And we were small, too."

" I saw other kids the same age and they weren't acting like wild animals. And he certainly looked really happy when you said they we were celebrating his birthday." His son nodded. " I was wondering, where is his parents? I mean, this is their son we're talking about, so shouldn't he be with them rather than us?"

At this point, the conversation caught the attention of the other two in the room as they all looked at Ryotaro. The tan man eyes went downcast as he looked down at the floor, suddenly, it turned into something quite interesting.

" Well..." He began. " Five years ago, Len lost his parents due to a car accident. They were his only family, so it was very painful to him." He said quietly as the whole room became quiet all of the sudden when they heard the answer.

The television was showing some commercial.

" That explained why he had that pained and sad look in his eyes." Saotomi, the sister spoke up as she adjusted the glasses further up to her nose bridge. The others nodded quietly in agreement.

" I have tried to cheer him up on many occasions, already; but it seems that the wounds are too deep for them to heal just yet." The CEO sighed as he slid his fingers through his hair. " Either he just refuses to heal or just too sad to get himself heal."

" Don't worry, son. Just give him time and he'd eventually heal."

" But, Dad, five long years!"

Ishizuchi shook his head as he smiled gently down at his son.

" It's not about five years, ten years or fifteen years. It's about how he'd let himself to get over this pain and whether there is a person to lead him on when he couldn't or not."

Ryotaro stared at his fathers and there were hands being placed on his shoulder as well as it turned out they belong to his siblings.

" Try your best, little brother."

" Yeah. Even though it seems so weird, I'll cheer you on too, if that is what you want, bro."

Ryotaro looked at them, his head felt like spinning then it suddenly hit him, full force.

" Y-you knew?" He literally squeaked.

" C'mon, it's practically written all over your face, Ryotaro." His sister said with a grin. " Only clueless like him and yourself don't realize it."

" Yeah. For once, she's right, so listen to her bro." The youngest received a whack on the head from the eldest as they started to bicker at each other and their father tried to stop them.

The television was playing a very loud and bad song.

" Wait. Wait!" Ryotaro exclaimed. " So, you guys really..."

" I have three words to sum this all up, bro. Yeah, WE KNEW." He said and waved his hands around to express his opinion. His brother tried to take that seriously as he tried to look pass all of the bumps on Kiryuu's head.

" And, little brother." His sister called while rubbing her sore fist. " Try to tell him soon, since, practically, everyone can tell that he is a bishounen. Someone will try to hook him up sooner or later, so try the 'sooner', okay?"

He smiled the nodded.

And then suddenly their was a loud shriek came from the kitchen that caught their attention.

" Tsukmori-kun!"

" Mother?" Ryotaro leapt up from his seat and he noticed that Len was nowhere in sight and Tokine was freaked out of her mind.

He ran there was the others followed and found that Len was lying limply on the hard wooden floor. Ryotaro bent down and picked up, the violinist was unconscious and his body was getting cold.

" Wake up, Len. Wake up! Len!"

_The television kept on playing loudly._

= xXx =

_To be continued..._

_**A/N:**_ Sorry for not updating! My inspiration had been going on vacation since the time my final exams begun. But no worries, it came back! (Thank God for that). And the same as usual R&R, people! By the way, I don't know about how much it'll cost you to stay in someone else's house, so I used the US's money, hope you don't mind.

Your reviews keep me going, so keep my inspiration up high, please. I'll try to update frequently. See ya!


	15. Secrets

_**Chapter 15:**_ Secrets

Oh God, Ryotaro was going out of his mind while holding the pale, fragile-looking body in his arms. He shook, shouted at Len to make him wake up, but the said person didn't even budge. His heart raced as sweat beads rolled down his temples. What the hell was going on? Why was it like this?

Kiryuu followed Ryotaro to the car while the others stayed back, as the younger showed his elder where the nearest medical clinic was. It should have taken at least fifteen minutes, but no, never trust a Tsuchiura when he or she is panicked.

They arrived as Ryotaro went out of the car and came to the door, pushing the door bell. But no one answered.

" Hey! Is there anyone in here?" He shouted and literally slammed on the door. And again, no one answer it. Cursing under his breath as he went running back to the car. Then suddenly, the door opened.

" Gomen-nasai! I was in the wash room." Someone said as Ryotaro peered out to look with a frown. But that soon changed as his eyes widened.

" Kishimoto-san?" He exclaimed.

" Tsuchiura-san?"

They stared at each other for a few seconds or so, then Ryotaro came hopping out of the car again and ran to the back.

" Kishimoto-san, my friend is in trouble. Please help." He said and slowly and gently pulled Len out of the car with the help of his younger brother. Arashi rushed there to give a hand as well. They slowly pulled Len out of the car, trying not to hurt him.

" What... Len-san?"

" You know him?" Ryotaro turned to look at the doctor, who was now having another shock. Few seconds later, as if the question had penetrated his head, Arashi nodded as he suddenly told them to bring the violinist inside, and the others followed obediently.

They lay him down onto the bed inside as Arashi asked them to go outside so he could work. Sitting on the chairs of what seemed like the waiting area, Ryotaro and his little brother all have the same expression on their faces. Well, with Len suddenly black-out like that, who wouldn't? They sat their unmoving as they stared at the room that the doctor and his new patient were in when the door at the front opened all of the sudden.

" Doctor, I bought you the tea and bread that you want!" A feminine voice called out as a slim figure stepped in, she was trying to take of her shoes as her crimson bangs spilled in front of her face, shielding away her face. But really, that didn't stop Ryotaro from gasping as his eyes widened for the fourth time that evening, he could recognize that voice and the distinguish hair color anywhere.

The girl looked up, seemingly unaware of the people that were occupying the clinic, and put her shoes on the rack next to her as she saw two other pair of shoes.

" Oh, I never thought I would see any patients here at this late hours of night." She said with a smile then looked up to find herself speechless as she looked at the person that, too, was staring at her.

Her lips felt like they have been frozen by an unknown source. She gulped slightly and took in another deep breath as a small, yet shaky smile appeared on her face.

" Tsuchiura-kun!" She said and stepped in. " What brings you here today? I thought... I thought that y-you moved a-way." Her voice sounded so nervous, but that was the best she could manage, because her mind was even more messed up then that.

Ryotaro's face was impassive, he had picked up that trick from Len himself, as he looked at his _ex_-crush. She had cut her hair short, the same figure but her eyes looked more matured, not as childish as before.

" I did move away. But I return because of a special occasion." He said, well, at least he answer her that much, he couldn't just keep quiet all the time anyway. She looked more relax somehow.

" So... I know this is strange to ask but... How is Tsukimori-kun? I understand that today is his birthday, or am I wrong?" Her voice was small as she put on another smile, yet it was so sad and sorrowful. Ryotaro didn't really understand why on earth did she ask that question, but he think that she wanted to make up for old times or something. Key word: Think. Because you'd never know.

" I don't know." He replied truthfully. " We'll just have to wait and see."

" What do..." The girl seemed confuse at first, but moments later, as if she has realized something, Kahoko turned to look at the room behind her back. " Oh no... You don't mean that..." She looked back at the tan man as he nodded slightly with eyes locked on the floor. She sighed. " I don't want to pry, but may I ask what happened?"

Ryotaro suddenly felt like laughing. He'd never thought that there would be a day when Kahoko would speak so formally. Well, it has been five years, already; he thought to himself, things have changed and people, too, would have definitely changed. At least that is what he thought. So... should he keep on hating her for what she had done? And the answer was yes. He will keep on hating her, he will never forgive her for what she did. But... maybe, it's time to set that aside. Like it or not, she did seem like she was sorry for the past and Len seemed like he didn't care about that as much as before. Then why should he keep on lingering to the events that had happened five years ago?

Well, to sum it all up, he won't forget what had been done but he thinks that he'll forgive the girl. It's kind of confusing even to himself, but he do understand that it has been too long, way too long to keep your hatred to just one person when said person seemed like she was trying to make things up, too. So, yeah...

" No need to be that formal, Hino." He repeated what his older sibling said with the same tone as her then looked up. He tried to force a smile, but it turned out to be much like an amusing smirk. " It's really not like you. "

Kahoko was surprised as she stared wide-eyed at him. But then she smiled at him, too, this time was the same genuine one that she usually gave when they were still in Seiso.

" I'm trying, but it's not exactly easy to do so when I'm raising a kid."

" Really? You have a child? Congratulations, even though it's kind of late."

" Thank you. Can we talk later? I have to go and help Kishimoto-san." She said and nodded then left. So she was a nurse there then.

= xXx =

Half an hour seemed like a whole year as the door slowly slid opened and both doctor and nurse stepped out. Arashi smiled at Ryotaro, and if the tan man hadn't been so hasty to hear what was happening, maybe he would have seen sad factor of the smile.

" How is he?"

" He is fine now. Just over stressed and his health is not exactly at its best, but he'll be okay if he gets enough rest."

A sigh of relief escaped the siblings as Ryotaro thanked the doctor then threw the key chain to his brother.

" Drive the it carefully. One scratch and you'll pay the whole fee for re-painting." While murmuring something under his breath about 'kid' or something, the younger left with a wave as the door to the clinic closed. The tan man asked if he could stay back here to care for his sick friend and permission was granted with a smile and a nod.

The door led to where the newest patient lay open without so much of a sound. Ryotaro went in and set a chair next to the bed where Len was and sat down. His eyes watched the pale figure on the bed. Len was sleeping, his eyes were closed but sometimes fluttered as he whispered something incoherent. There was a window just next to his bed as the silver rays of the moon beamed down gently and once again, Ryotaro realized that he was in the same situation he was five years ago when Len was in the hospital. He wanted to laugh, since he had somehow promised himself that things like this would never happen again and yet... The pale skin of the violinist looked like it was glowing under the silver threads, making everything in the room to surreal as his hair fluttered softly as a breeze blew. The green-haired man just sat there and stared at his... friend. Well, if Len was over stressed just like what Arashi said then this happened because of him. All of those papers were sent to Len as he work day and even night, since he brought the work home to take a look at them and it wasn't like the guy has any computer at his place. So he has to sort all of that by hand, in just a few hours of rest he got and then went to the company and typed all of that back into the computer. And he was coughing, too, there was signs to show Ryotaro that Len wasn't that fine at all, especially that he just recovered from a bad fever. He gridded his teeth, now that he had put all of the events into place, he was the one who caused this to happen.

Kuso.

He cursed out loud then Len's fingers twitched ever so slightly, the tan man noticed that as he reached out his hand and grabbed it into his own. As if answering to the touch, the pale fingers squeezed back gently. Ryotaro sighed, as he kept on looking at Len until the door behind opened and Kahoko went in as she smiled at him then held a can of warm tea toward Ryotaro.

" May I offer you a drink?" Her lips read as Ryotaro looked at her then back to the azure-haired to find a peaceful sleeping face, he has always been like that, his face has always been so innocent and pure like he didn't have a care in the world. Another sigh escaped his lips as Ryotaro stood up, slowly letting go of Len's hand as the both of them left the room quietly.

= xXx =

They were outside and sitting on a small bench behind the clinic. A wind blew as the trees began to rustle. The both of them didn't say anything at all and Ryotaro started to twirled the can of tea in his hand.

" So, how are you?" The guy decided to be the one stimulate a conversation first, but it took Kahoko a moment or so later to answer.

" As you can see, I'm fine." She grinned as he nodded in acknowledgement.

" Well, I don't see Aoi around, how is he anyway?"

" He's fine I guess."

" What do you mean by that?"

" We got into a divorce two years back, after the trial, I have never seen him again." She spoke quietly.

" Oh... I'm sorry to hear that." The other said as he looked away.

" No, you don't need to."

" You have a child, right? So, a boy or a girl?" Ryotaro changed the subject, trying to avoid Aoi.

" Well, it's a boy and he's five years old. He's a sweet and an adorable child, his name is Shuichi."

" Really? That's good then." The guy said with much delight in his voice. He did love kids, they are fun to play with and cute, too. Kahoko nodded at his words with a smile. " I wonder who does he take after." That slipped his mouth as he turned to look at Kahoko, he knew that she didn't really want to talk about Aoi that much.

" It's okay. Don't worry. And about that question..." Her voice sounded very tired and somewhat nervous at the same time as the grips on her drink tightened.

" What is it?"

" He... He takes after... Tsukimori-kun..." She blurted out and choked at the end of the sentence as she turned away with a palm covering her mouth.

Ryotaro was stunned, he felt like he was in a daze and her words didn't seem to get through his head.

" Wait... What you said... I think that I must have heard it wrong because you said that the boy takes after... Len...?"

His heart was hoping that he really did mistake her words. It must have been! He reassured himself, but all of that shattered just after one small nod from the girl with crimson hair as she sobbed.

His heart skipped a beat and somehow he didn't know what to say because truth to be told, his mind has literally shut down on him and the world seemed like it was spinning uncontrollably. His breathing started to sound irregular as he tried to process the news that he has just been given.

" H-How?" It was the only thing he could manage to force out of his throat. However, Kahoko was sobbing as she tried to stop but found that she couldn't and the tears just kept on running down her cheeks.

His hands shakily found her shoulders and shook it as he turned her torso back so that her face would be in front of him.

" Please... tell me how did this happen?" He strained each words as the grips tightened on her shoulders but Kahoko bit her lip, she couldn't make her say that out loud. " Hino. Tell. Me." His nails dug into her flesh beneath the fabric of her coat.

" P-Please-e Ts-suchiura-kunn, you're h-hurting m-me." She choked out between the sob as the other realized that he had put too much force as he let her go. Kahoko sniffed as she tried to calm herself down while rubbing her bruised shoulders.

" I'm sorry." He whispered. " Are you okay?" She nodded her head.

" I-I'm fine."

" It wasn't right of me to do so. I apologize for my actions and I shouldn't have asked that question, too. It's okay if you don't want tell me." She sniffed again and dried away the last of her tears from the corner of her eyes.

" It's okay. Besides, I think that it's time I should tell this to someone other than just keep it quiet for the rest of my life." She took in a deep breath then turned back to face her old friend. " Just a week before I... left Tsukimori-kun, we had... an affair. Well, it was our first time, because surprisingly, he was pretty shy when it came to that department." She laughed a little at that then continued. " Even though it was his first time ever, he was very gentle and quite a... professional, too. Well, anyway, I conceived that time, but I didn't really know that. So when the first time that the symptoms of me being pregnant appeared, I thought it was Aoi's and so did he. That was the reason why we decided to get marry before I started to show too much. Then when I delivered the child, I noticed that his eyes weren't...

_**~ Flashback ~**_

_I was gently holding my son in my arms and he was sleeping peacefully. We were still in the hospital, since it has only been a day from my delivery. I was looking outside the window, but suddenly, I felt movement as I looked down and my boy was starting to wake up. _

" _Hello, little ones." We haven's decided what his name will be, but I just thought of a name, Shuichi. And it sounded to fine what I spoke it, maybe I should tell Kaji about it when he came. The baby slowly opened his eyes, and then the subject about naming him disappeared when I looked at his eyes. They were golden, and I thought that it would be emerald like my husband's but... Maybe he takes after me about my eyes, then that left the hair and the character of the child. He was an infant, barely has any hair, so I couldn't tell what color it'd be. Crimson or Blond? I wondered to myself then suddenly a flash of azure popped inside my mind, it was so blue, just like the sky... then it disappeared as soon as it came. That color... it looked like _his_ hair... I shook my head, trying to get rid of the thought. No way that would happen._

_Days soon turned into weeks. I was back at my house and just right besides my baby Shuichi. Yes, we did decide to name him that. I looked at him as he continued to sleep. His hair hasn't grown that much so no telling. But the child acted very calm, not as hyperactive like me. At first I thought that he must be like Kaji, but as days passed, I got a feeling that he wasn't like my husband at all. Not at all. Kaji was calm, yes, but at the same time, he was cheerful, smiling and laughing a lot. But Shuichi was that kind of calm, he tends to keep it to himself more and only smiled when I was with him. He didn't even so much as lifting the corner of his mouth when Kaji was around. Okay, that was a bit exaggerated but most of it was true, which is very weird. Because the boy looked awfully a lot like... No, it couldn't be._

_Much to my horror, Shuichi hair grew and it came out in the color of azure just like _him_ but a little darker and his golden eyes turned into a darker shade, too! Just like _him_! Oh my God, what was going on? I didn't understand this, oh God... How could this happen? I didn't... Oh no... It was that time! Tears welled up as they fell down the corner of my eyes as I looked down at my child. Oh God, the boy was so much like him, when I took a closer look, I found that even the shape of his face was very much the same... I sobbed, then suddenly, I felt a gentle touch on my cheek as I opened my eyes. Shuichi small arm was reaching out to my face as if he was trying to wipe away the tears and that look. That look on my face made so many memories came back._

" What's matter? Why are you crying Kaho-chan?" Len said with a sad smile as he reached out to wipe the tears away from my eyes. I cried because I could never get it right with the piece we were practicing and I was too frustrated, so I cried. " Please, stop crying. It doesn't suit you..."

_His soft voice echoed in my mind. Oh God, what should I do? This really was his child._

_**~ End of Flashback ~**_

" Aoi found out. He put up with it at first, and continued to raise Shuichi with me, but that soon be gone as he slowly started to neglect the child. I didn't really like that, but I couldn't blame him, and I told myself that somewhere deep down inside, he still loved the child very much." At this her face suddenly darkened.

" However, that soon shattered when one day I returned from the store and found that Shuichi got a paper cut, his skin was thin so it was bleeding a lot. I treated the boy and put him to sleep. At the time, I assumed that Aoi didn't know and Shuichi didn't like to whine that much. Not to Aoi that is, it was as if the child has always known that the person wasn't his father."

She smiled at this as she looked up at the Moon above.

" I soon realized that Aoi knew that the boy cut himself but he ignored the fact. I was so angry and we ended up in a fight. And that was when he decided to divorce each other." Kahoko then turned to look at Ryotaro with a sad smile.

" That's the whole story. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner."

From the corner of her eyes, tears shone once again and she was holding them back and Ryotaro could see that her shoulders were shaking. He sighed then gathered the girl in his arms and hugged her tightly, rocking the girl. Why is it that this world always seems to be filled with only sad stories like this? He asked himself that same questions again. And yet again, he didn't really have an answer for that.

When sensing that the girl has calmed down, he let go of her and slowly stood up for his seat as he walked away.

" You know, Hino. I appreciate that you were willing to tell me the whole story, but really, I don't think I am the one who you should really tell it."

" But I..."

" He had forgiven you, for a long time already. For what reason do you think he'd show himself to his ex-lover's wedding anyway?" Ryotaro walked away with one hand shoved into his pocket and the other one waved at Kahoko as his figure disappeared around the corner.

= xXx =

Ryotaro bit his lip so hard, so hard that it bled as he returned to the room where Len was. The guy was still sleeping and that same look still remained on his face and that somehow eased Ryotaro's aching soul as he smiled a little. Sitting down on the same chair as before, he resumed his position of just sitting there and watched Len, making sure that he was okay. However, he should really think about himself first, because if you think that his mind was messed up before, it was a huge ball of entangled wires with a layer of confusion and pain on it. He buried his face into his palms and grabbed a few of his hair in the process. Why on earth did she have to tell him that? He didn't want to hear! He didn't want to know!

" What's wrong?" A voice called all of the sudden, startling Ryotaro. He looked up and saw that Len's eyes were opened.

" Nah, it's... nothing."

" Liar. What were thinking about?" Len's eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the tan man.

" I wasn't thinking about anything. Really!" _'Not.'_

Len still didn't look that convince, but he'd believe that for now as he let out a sigh, he knew pretty well how stubborn Ryotaro could be sometimes. They stayed quiet for quite a while and the only thing they could hear was the sound of rustling leaves outside the window.

" Hey." Ryotaro broke the silence. " How are you feeling?" He asked while looking closely at the violinist.

" I'm fine I guess. Just a bit tired." Len actually answered truthfully and that really made the other happy. " Ryotaro?" He called suddenly.

" Yeah?"

" Thank you, for celebrating my birthday, although it wasn't necessary for you to do so."

" Why say so! It is necessary, it's that day that you were born, don't talk about it like you don't even give a damn!" '_It was the day you came to this world and I'm really happy that you were born. I really am, so please...'_ " Don't say that."

Everything was emerged in silence again.

" I'm sorry. I don't have the right to say that because your family and you had put in a lot of effort to make up a party on such short notice. I really appreciate what all of you had done, so I won't say that again."

He smiled for the third time that evening, it was so sad and somewhat painful to see him smiling like. He was so happy just because of the kind action Ryotaro's family showed toward him. The tan man bit his already split lip as he forced a smile, too.

" Come on. Go to sleep, it's for your own good." He told the other as he did what he was told and those golden eyes closed slowly.

Ryotaro sighed as he looked at Len's still form as the breathing gradually even out. He was asleep, when he was sure of that fact, Ryotaro lay his head down next to Len as he gently took the pale hand into his own and squeeze it slightly.

He felt to calm now, so much better than a few moments ago when he just came back from the 'small' talk. Even though Len not what you call a person that could sooth others, but really, he could be quite gentle at some points.

That night, however, Ryotaro still fell into a dreamless sleep.

= xXx =

It was Sunday the next morning, so they'd stay back for the day for Len to get some more rest before heading back to Tokyo in the afternoon. Arashi proved to be a very capable doctor with lots of knowledge and practice as well. He gave Ryotaro a bunch of medicine for Len, which Ryotaro insisted on paying him but the guy refused. The tan man also found out that Arashi has known Len for a very long time as well and that the story the brunette told on the plane that day was in fact what happened between him and Len. Well, that would explain the similarity.

Kahoko didn't show up. Ryotaro thought that what happened last night was, perhaps, too much for her, re-opened not very nice memories from the past that is. He couldn't blame her though. Not at all, since Kaji was too much of a badstard to bear.

Len was doing much better, at least he got some color back onto his face. Ryotaro swore he was as pale as a paper yesterday. Our dear doctor came in and have quite a long chat him, but the tan didn't dare to interrupt because they needed the time to catch up with each other.

Well, all in all, everything was generally fine and nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. The Tsuchiura family came, making the quiet clinic suddenly shook under the force from the four added voice. Arashi just laughed and he looked quite delight to see all of the commotion, much to everyone's surprise. Len smiled softly when all of them literally filled the room with chatters, questions, sometimes yelling and laughing as well. The clinic has never been this cheerful for as long as he could remember, Arashi exclaimed. After a good one and a half hour, Ryotaro managed to chase them home and it worked for the first time in the total of six that day because it seemed that they finally realized the fact that they had forgotten: Len was sick. They went home, but not after telling the two over and over again that they have to come to say good-bye before they leave. And somehow, between all of that commotion, Arashi managed to become another friend in the long list named ' Good Friend' of the Tsuchiura.

Eleven forty-five a.m as Ryotaro stood up from his seat and said that he would go out and buy them something to eat. Len just nodded as golden eyes watched the tan figure of Ryotaro left the room.

The door slid open as Ryotaro took another glimpse at Len then closed it behind him. He walked outside to the nearby food stall, good thing that the area hadn't changed that much since he last been here or else. He decided that they were going to have onigiri for lunch with some soup for Len as well. The guy went back to found that there was a small figure sitting on one of the waiting chair. A child about five or six with...

His heart skipped a beat as his breath hitched. Oh God, the boy looked almost as if he was a copy of Len himself. Something twisted inside Ryotaro's chest.

Somehow, Ryotaro's legs led him inside and he found himself sitting right next to the boy; if he was here, then his mother must be here as well. The child wasn't running anywhere to play or have fun at all like a normal five years old should be. His big, golden orbs turned to look at the 'stranger' as he sat down.

" Hi there." Ryotaro said with a smile, but the boy didn't answer. Well, time to start another strategy he guess. " You are Shuichi, right?" After hearing his name, he turned to look at the man with much curiosity.

" How do you know my name?" He asked innocently though the hint of caution was there.

" Well, I'm your mother's friend. So, kid, why didn't you answer me before?"

" Okaa-san said that I shouldn't talk to stranger." He said while turning back to look at the place where his mother went in.

_/ " Outo-san! Okaa-san!"/_

Len's scream from so long ago flashed through Ryotaro's ears as his eyes, too, wondered to the door that led to the place where the _real_ father of this child finally learnt about his own flesh and blood's existence, a hidden secret finally revealed after five long, miserable year. And then, the door slid opened and Kahoko appeared with a pair of teary eyes.

" Oh, Tsuchiura-kun, you're back." She said with a small smile as she called her son to come over to her. " Did you behave, Shuichi?" She asked.

" Yes, I did, okaa-san." He said with such politeness. " Why are you crying, okaa-san?" Sharp observation just like his father.

" No. It's nothing. Now Shuichi, there is someone I want you to meet." The boy nodded as the both of them went in.

" Would you like to come in with us?" She turned and asked Ryotaro before she went in. The man shook his head.

" I don't want to disturb." He said with another forceful smile as she nod slightly and closed the door.

After a few seconds of waiting, Ryotaro found himself just right in front of the door. He didn't mean to eavesdrop on them but... curiosity got the better of him as he slid the door open. Why the hell didn't he just take the offer back then? He asked himself but never got an answer.

Kahoko was standing next to the bed with Shuichi right besides her. And Len... he was just speechless, something shone on the corner of his eyes as the golden ray of the sun beamed down. He picked the child up and position the boy onto his lap and Shuichi didn't resist.

" Hello." Len said. " It's very nice to meet you."

" Hello and it's nice to meet you, too." The child answered. " My name is Tsukimori Shuichi." Both Ryotaro's and Len's eyes widened as they poured their attention to the mother and she just simply smiled.

" Really." Len got back his composure as he looked back to the child. " Well, you can call me Len. I... I'm a friend of your mother."

" I met a man outside that claimed to be my mother's friend like you, Len-san." Ryotaro smiled at that, but it soon disappeared when he saw the pained look in Len's gaze.

" It's that so? Well, can I ask you something, Shuichi?" The boy nodded. " How old are you?"

" I'm five years old, Len-san."

" Quite tall for a five-year-old. So, do like music?"

" Yes, I do."

" Do you play any instruments, Shuichi?"

" Yes, the violin!" The boy said with much pride and delight. At that point, Len pulled the child into his arms and hugged him tightly, and he didn't really planning on letting the boy go. Tears ran down his eyes as he bit his lips to keep himself from choking with the overwhelming sensation inside of him. Shuichi though he didn't really understand what was going on still put his hands onto Len's shaking back and gently rubbing it. It was as if the boy sensed that this person was somehow close to him... Ryotaro could tell because as Kahoko said, the boy wasn't that friendly with either me or even Aoi. So this action of hugging Len back was one of the surprising things he did. Kahoko stood there, she was crying herself.

"_And, little brother. Try to tell him soon, since, practically, everyone can tell that he is a bishounen. Someone will try to hook him up sooner or later, so try the 'sooner', okay?"_

Something twisted inside his chest as the door slid close.

= xXx =

_To be continued..._

_**A/N:**_ Well, I don't really have anything to say, but I think that adding Kahoko into the picture would be good, since some of you were wondering what happened to her, too. So, the question here is that will Len fall in love with the same woman that ditched him years ago now that she is back with his one and only son or... another? Well, R&R people. And sorry for the slowly updating, it was quite hard to write this chapter. See ya later!


	16. I told you, I don't care

_**Chapter 16:**_ I told you, I don't care

I slumped down onto the chair outside the door, and just sat there, staring at the ground. The painful feeling that welled up in my chest was hurting so much. It was the same feeling I get five years ago when Len... left me. It was exactly like that time. But... this was his son that we're talking about. I couldn't pull him away from his own flesh and blood! It was...

" Argh!" I swung my arm up and was about to slam it to the seat next to me when I stopped mid-way and realized that all of the things I bought for the both of us was there, lying on the chair. I stopped and reached out my hand to hold the bag.

Why am I angry? Why do I suddenly feel so upset about this? Come on Ryotaro, don't be selfish, he has finally found someone that he could actually call family, a _real_ one that is. You just someone that befriended with him. Just a friend... So... what does a friend do? Support others, right? Yeah, so I'll support whatever he chooses. I will.

" Tsuchiura-san?" I looked up and saw the doctor.

" Hi, Kishimoto-san. Have you had lunch, yet?"

" Yes, I have. And what you doing at the moment?"

" Well... I'm going to bring Len some lunch! Yeah, that's right, some lunch!" I stood up while laughing like a maniac with the bag in my hand. " Thanks for...reminding me I guess!" With that I came to the door and said with a forceful sing-song voice. " Hey! May I come in?" Then slid the door open without even waiting for a reply.

Len was there but the boy was back to where his mother was, and those golden eyes were looking at me.

" Suddenly become so polite, are we?" Len said amusingly and I saw that all of the tears have been dried though his eyes were still bloodshot.

" Yeah, yeah. Very funny, Len." I put the bag on the night stand besides the bed. " Some onigiri and soup!" Then I realized the fact that two added people were in the room slipped my mind, somehow. I turned to look at them with what I assumed a weird smile.

" Don't worry. We have already had lunch." Hino understood and said with a soft smile.

That was a huge relief. I turned back and laid out the food, two onigiri and a soup for Len and four onigiri for me. I ate, putting on a cheerful expression, which I knew that could not hold out that long, so I finished my lunch fast than excused myself.

The bathroom was the only destination I saw in my head. I went in and closed the door with much ease rather than slamming it as I turned the water tap and cooling water soon filled my cupped hands. Splashing water on face as I tried to cool myself down. I did cool off pretty fast thanks to all of those years of associating experience in the company. Droplets fell down from my face and everything seemed to blur as I looked at the image of myself in the mirror. I inhaled and exhaled slowly to calm down then stepped outside again. I should go back to apologized for my weird action, should I? I didn't know but then I saw Shuichi going toward me.

" Where are you going, Shuichi?" I asked him with a smile.

" I'm going to the bathroom, Ryotaro-san." The boy answered as he, too, returned a small smile. Well, I guess that he seemed to like me a little bit as well.

" Off you go then." And then he nodded slightly and went to his destination. The boy was very sweet and so very much like Len himself. It's in his genes I guess. I kept on going further, and wondered what the two of them were doing at that moment. That question soon be answered when I gently slid the door, trying not to startle them with my sudden appearance with a slam on the door and I didn't really want to damage anything.

The breeze blew softly as the white curtain in the room fluttered and behind it was Len standing there just by the wall with his back faced me. Odd, what was he doing there? I asked himself then I saw something red flashed by behind him as he leaned down closer to the figure that was between him and the wall. Everything was in slow motion...

The breathing just hitched in my throat as my heart literally stopped right there and then. I stared at the scene that was displayed right in front of my eyes. Were they kissing? The question raced inside my mind. So, did this mean that really he was going to stay back with her then? But I wasn't going to stay there and find that out. Enough is enough.

With sheer will power, I moved my body to go outside as quiet I could as I shakily closed the door. My heart was pounding to hard against my ribcage and it was hard to breathe. I wondered if they noticed me. Maybe not, because if they did then they wouldn't be so quiet.

And then I let my feet led me to wherever it felt like as I suddenly found myself standing at the same spot that Hino and I was talking last night without much collection. I sat down or more like _fell_ down on it. Somehow, all of the energy I have was all drained. Those strength wasn't meant to prepare me for what just happened.

" Are you okay, Tsuchiura-san?" I was startled by the sudden voice. It was like déjà vu all over again.

" Oh, Kishimoto-san." I looked at him and fixed up a smile with all that I could muster. But I don't really think that it had success though, when he looked at me with a worried frown on his face. " I'm... fine I guess." I murmured quickly and turned away quickly.

" You don't seem that well to me." Then something was brushed against my forehead. I jerked and turned to see that he has his hand on me, the guy was checking my temperature. " You seem quite under the weather, but you don't have a fever. That's strange, you were looking really fine just about twenty minutes, right?"

" Don't worry. I know that I'm fine." I said an smiled again. It seemed like that was all I could do at the moment, even though that was the thing I failed to accomplish every time.

" Well, if you say so then."

After that, everything fell into silence, Kishimoto was looking at the grass below and I was looking at the sky, or rather the supposed position of the room the both of them were in. I stared at it for a long time, then back to the sky again. But then I turned away immediately, its color reminded me too much about Len's hair. Too much. Like what I told myself that morning, I should just let him go, let him choose whoever he wanted. Who was I to decide what his life was gonna be anyway? I'm just another guy that appeared in a few chapters of his long life. Just a friend. So, again, why should I be sad? Why should I? Why? Why? Why? I bit my lip again as the red substance that tasted like iron spilled into my mouth.

Because... because I love him too much. Too much and now it has become so... unbearable!

" You know, sometimes... sickness can come from within, not from the outside only." Kishimoto spoke all of the sudden, breaking the silence as I turned to look at them with confusion. He turned to look at with such gentle smile. " Am I right? Not all diseases are infected from the outside, but it could come from within ourselves. And those are the ones you should really be cautious with. Not that I'm trying to say that the other majority is not as fatal. But these internal or mental sickness is amongst the dangerous ones because it destroys your body from the inside out. Sometimes, when you finally find out then it's already too late."

I stared at him then blinked. What was he trying to say?

" I knew some cases, in which people killed themselves because they couldn't receive the same feelings they had toward the people they loved. I hope that my friends and family won't make the same mistakes that those people made. Because life is very beautiful and there are still many doors that will lead to new opportunities and someday you'll meet others to love."

Was he advising me? I stared at him for another long moment before I tore my eyes away then I started to smile then that smile turned into a bitter laugh. Yeah, he was right. I could still find somebody to love, right? There are still many others out there that I haven't met and I here I was, lingering to something I didn't even know that it was too far away to reach, not until now. My eyes were so stung and I couldn't keep myself from laughing.

" Don't g-get any wrong i-deas, okay?" I said between my laughter. " I'm n-not laughing at what y-you're saying, it's s-something els-se."

A while after, when I finally calm enough to speak properly again. I turned to look at him with a smile as I mumured a thank you.

I stood up and looked at the far sky above. Another sigh escaped my lips as I said good-bye to him. I need to go get my car and go home before it gets dark. Let's see, where did I put my keys? I fished for it inside my pockets, but not a trace. So... it's in the room. Well, I have to say good-bye anyway, so why not?

I went back in but bumped into Len. He looked at me then threw the keys from his hand to me as I caught with one swing of the hand.

" Where are you going?" I asked sternly, suddenly, the mood felt so heavy again. He eyed me strangely as though I've said something wrong.

" Going back home with you of course."

" Home?"

" Oh, about that. I think that I should really stay at your house, with the rental money that is, since it's nearer to the company and more convienient for you I guess." He said then began to walk toward the door and slowly passed me. " Let's go."

" Why don't you stay here?" I didn't even turn back to face him properly and I couldn't stop my mouth before I spoke as I heard his steady footsteps came to a halt. Fuck.

" What are you talking about?" He finally asked a few seconds later.

" Well, Hino is here and so is Shuichi. Shouldn't you be here to take care of them, especially the child?" Stop it.

" That is none of your concern, Ryotaro. For one this is my business. And two, I decide to do whatever I wish for. And three, I only do it, if it is for the best."

" The best? What about the child? He's five and barely even know who his father is. Shouldn't you tell him the truth?" Stop it, Tsuchiura.

" Again, that is none of you business." His voice got more and more strain and heavy with each and every word.

" So you aren't going to tell him anything? Just hide everything from him like that? I don't see anything that sounds like the word 'best' you said just now. Besides, the boy deserves a father in his life other than Aoi in his life, right?" I said stop it!

He didn't answer but I could hear that his breathing got more and more shallow inside the empty and seemingly dark hall. The mother and child must have left.  
" Don't say anything when you don't know anything, _Ryotaro_. Who do you think you are to say such words to me?" I spun around. The fury was boiling thougout my whole body, making me feel so hot, this burning sensation. I couldn't stop my body, not anymore.

" Then who do _you_ think you are?" I shouted. I didn't expect him to answer because in my eyes, it seemed like, somehow, he had stopped breathing all together at that moment. But again, I was wrong when he turned around with his eyebrows furrowed into an angry frown and under the dim light in the hall, his eyes looked like they were shining, burning with fire and he was biting his lip, so hard that a blood trickled down his chin.

" Who do _I_ think I am?" He threw the question back to me with much fury. I stared wide-eyed at him. " Let me tell you who, in my opinion, I am okay?" His voice suddenly turn back into the harbor of calm. " I am a pathetic violinist, who damaged his hands, the hands that violinists use to play the violin, and then my parents had to replace me in my own concerts because we could have go broke if they hadn't. And I had my girlfriend ditched me like a bag of trash and then ended up in the hospital, mentally unstable!" His words grew more and more intense and his voice got louder with each word that came out of his lips. " And then _you_ came along, you helped me. But once again I was ditched away by my own grandparents. I left the house with nothing but a cell phone, some clothes, the violin that I couldn't use anymore and some of the saving I had. I didn't dare to go to your house because of my pride! My Goddamn PRIDE! I tried to find money! I tried to get every job I could my hands on, trying to find someway to stand up on my own two feet without anyone else's help! AND THE RESULT WAS TO GET MYSELF RAP...!" Tears streamed down his cheeks as he stopped mid-sentence with eye widened as though he realized that he has said something wrong. His palm came up to cover his mouth as he ran way, rushed back passed me and the door to the room behind me slammed close.

I was dumbfounded, I tried to say something between all of his... confession, trying to calm him down. But nothing came out. Nothing at all. And the word he cut off before finishing it. What was is? 'Rap'...?

" R-rape?" The realization hit me on full force as I found that my knees were starting to give out on me as I leaned against the wall on the right that was not far away. My whole body slid down slowly and finally met the titled floor. My mind was blank. Nothing and I mean nothing came out, I couldn't even move my body, the fucking body that just acted on its own cord not too long ago, was now numbed. Numbed with confusion, with pain.

Len... He... He was... Oh God, I could not bring myself to say that word. I sat there for what seemed like enternity. I wanted to follow him, to where he's gone to, but I didn't know how to face him. I didn't know how I could bring myself to go in there and sat down to sooth him after everything that I had said.

'Thud', the sound of my head hit against the wall echoed inside the hall. ' Thud', another and another and a lot more followed. But somehow, I still couldn't feel the pain, I still couldn't imagine what kind of pain he had gone through. What happened? Why did it turn out like that? And who had done that? So many questions swirled my, what thought to be empty, mind. I wanted to ask, but did not have the courage to. I just couldn't, and it wasn't like he was going to answer me anyway.

" _It's not about five years, ten years or fifteen years. It's about how he'd let himself to get over this pain and whether there is a person to lead him on when he couldn't or not."_

My Dad's words suddenly rang through my ears, dispite all of the commotion in my head, that still managed to pop up. And suddenly I found myself slowly standing up. Yeah, that's right. Len will somehow get over this, and there'll be someone waiting to help him and lead him on when he couldn't. Even if that someone was Hino or me or whatever, I don't care. As long as there was someone for him to count on, to lean on whenever he needed, I don't care. He needed all of the supports he could get, and I am willing to give him all I've got. After all, love is not just about giving and taking, right?

I stood up shakily and went toward the door of the room and just from the out here, I could hear the sobbing along with sniffing going. It bothered him that much. Of course, who wouldn't? Who wouldn't be bothered when...

My eyes were downcast when the door slid open quietly as I entered the ward. The soft sound of the door closing was heard from behind my back as I looked at the whole room and found that the very same pale figure was huddling at the corner just next to the window. He didn't even look up, whether because he didn't even aware of the fact that I was inside or just that he didn't care. Either way, I'd still gonna go there and do what I should do ealier, much ealier than this. The sound of my footsteps was so soft that I barely believed that it was mine as I approached him as careful as I could, I didn't want to startle him or what so ever.

Slowly, I reached out my hand and touched him on the shoulder. At that very moment, my hand was slapped away.

" Don't touch me!" His cheeks were stained with tears as the eyes kept on crying.

_The broken heart could not mend itself and the pain was too much, so the angel with broken wings cried._

He withdrew himself further into the corner, not wanting my touch on his body.

_In the dark corner of the world. The angel did not dare to look up at the sky, where he had once roamed freely, fearing that if did so, he would realise that it was too high for him to ever reach again._

' _Where had my wings gone to?'_

" I'm not... I'll taint your hands." Those cracked lips whispered. " So please, don't touch me..."

_And then one day, out of nowhere, rays of sunlights descended down upon the dark corner that the angel with broken wings has taken._

" Don't say such words. I'm not going to be tainted by you." I bent down to his level. " Even if you think so, believe me when I say that I won't mind. Not at all."

_The God of Sun appeared, making the the whole place brightened with his lights of hope as he looked around. His heart felt the pain when he saw all of the soft white feathers lay scatter on the ground, painted by the crimson of blood of their owner. The angel hid his face away, as if trying to avoid the sudden light._

Ryotaro looked at Len with a sorrow look when the pale figure didn't even look up to him. He sighed.

" I won't mind, really. Because no matter what happens, you are still you. And in my eyes, you are just the same person as you were years ago."

_The God with golden armer knew the tragedy that happened to the angel. He was attacked by the Demons that had somehow escaped from the Under World while doing his job. Those creatures was jealous of how wide and white his beautiful wings were and they tore them off from his back then abandoned him here, all alone in this dark world that was not meant for him to live._

' _Come with me.' The God reached out his hand with a gentle smile. He was going to help this angel, he could not leave him here._

" Please Len, I'm sorry for what I said. I wasn't thinking, so please, forgive me." I slowly rubbed his arm. " Please, stop crying."

' _Dry your tears, dear angel. Angels like you were not supposed to cry like this.' The God said softly as he put his hand onto the angel shoulder. The broken creature winced under his touch as it began to shiver._

' _Please... don't hurt me.' The cracked voice of the angel met the God's ears as his eyebrows furrowed with much confusion._

' _I am not going to hurt you, angel. However, do you not recognize me? I am the God of Sun.' Hearing this, the angel's head raised up as he dried his tears away with his hands._

' _How can I trust you? What can you do to prove that you really are who you claimed to be?' The angel's eyes could no longer see. He was blind, blind by his own tears, blind by his own pain, because, after all, his only pride possesion was taken away from him so brutally._

" All that I can do up until now was no more than to cry." He sniffed. " That's all I can do. I lost everything because of my stupidity. Because of my damn pride. I shouldn't have wandered to the construction sight. I should just have asked you for help. I should have written or called you. I should have looked for b-better job. I s-shouldn't h-have g-gone there. I-I..." His voice broke. " So many mistakes in just one life time is not acceptable..." He cried again.

' _I was foolish enough to believe that I could do my job alone this time.' The angel turned his face away. ' And in the end... I could not do anything at all. I could not accomplish anything by myself. I am useless, so why would Heaven want me back?' His words were like sharps knives that stabbed into no one's but his own already bleeding heart._

_Then the hand of the God traced up from his shoulder to his cheek. The cold and pale skin of the angel suddenly felt so warm again, the God was using his magic to try and somehow ease the pain of the broken creature. His thumb gently rubbed the cheekbone of the angel. And slowly, from within the darkness of his own heart, the angel saw what seemed to be golden threads appeared. His closed world was filled with lights bit by bit, it was so bright as he closed his eyes, but not before seeing the smile the God was giving him. It was so warm and so gentle, just like the sunlight._

' _I know that there is doubt in your heart, but all you have to do is to believe. Believe in me and believe in your heart also.'_

Ryotaro embraced Len tightly in his strong arms. He too was crying, as the droplets of tears fell down and slowly being absorb by the fabric of Len's clothing. He didn't want to let go, no, never again. He had made that mistake twice and he didn't plan on doing it for the third time.

" Everybody makes mistake. We are humans, but from those mistakes that we learn, we learn and move on and then we use the knowledge we got from before to avoid going to the same fallen path. So, don't blame yourself. I used to blame myself all the time because of something I did wrong. But in the end, I understood that it's already been done and there's nothing we can do about that. So... so we just have to move on..."

" But... I... Oh God..." Len choked, it seemed like he couldn't find any words to say at all. " Can someone make so many mistakes like me? Some of them aren't even worth it."

" Yes, sometimes even more than you, too." I said with a small smile though the tears were still there as I gentlly stroke his soft azure hair.

_The God's smile touched the heart of the angel as he slowly raised up his hand, trying to find his way to the offered hand of the God._

' _That's it. You don't have to be afraid, not anymore.' They held each other's hand as the God squeezed the angels pale fingers softly. ' Because I am here now, and I will lead you on. Now, stand up, dear angel.'_

_Those weak feet started to stand up and slowly, the angel straightened himself._

' _I am truly sorry, but I have to say that I cannot restore your wings to you.' The eyes of the God looked down at one of the many scattered feathers. ' What a shame. Your wings were the most beautiful I have ever seen.' The angel looked surprised at said words as the God chuckled softly. ' Do believe me when I say so, dear angel, I am telling you the truth.'_

" I'm damned, Ryotaro." Len whispered. " Everybody that's around me always gets hurt, or worse, dies. And I... I don't want you to have the same fate..."

" Silly you. Why do you think I'm here if I care about that. Hurt or not, I'll never leave your side, Len."

_The angel looked sad as he bent down to pick up what was left of his wings. The feather was held gently in his fingers as tears welled up again._

' _I did tell you to stop crying, right?' And then suddenly, all of the scattered pieces flew up and gathered into one spot. From the magic of the golden sunlight, they soon turned into dust, but it was not glowing with the color of gold, instead, it was blue. Slowly, all of that dust created from the angel's broken wings began to swirl itself up to its master's body. There appeared a soft glow of silver, not as bright or delight as the light of the Sun, but it was gentle and so delicate, making even the wildest heart feel at ease._

The sobbing stopped and all I could hear then was Len's shallow breathing, I could feel the warmth of his breath on my neck as I continued to stroke his hair.

" I'll never leave your side no matter what." I held his face up with a push on the chin. Maybe, it's time for me to do this. I have to do this and I didn't really care how he'd react to this at all. " Len, I know this sounds really weird, but I have to say that... I-I." The words were stuck in my throat and I couldn't say them out loud. His eyebrows furrowed slightly with confusion. I took in a deep breath and concentrate all of the strength I could muster at that moment. Kishimoto's words found their ways back into my mind. His advice wasn't wrong but... But sometimes, there are people who are foolish enough to believe that some day, some day they would have what they desire for. And they keep that as a hope to live on. Call them stupid but I don't think that it's wrong to keep on hoping for something even though, sometimes, it wouldn't come. I believed so because I am one of them.

" Len... I love you. I love you a lot. I don't know when or how it happened but the only thing I do know now is that I love you. I don't care if you're going to accept my feelings or not, however, I am truly, truly in love with you..."

The gap between us shortened as I leaned closer to him, until our lips met. His lips were so soft, yet tasted like tears and blood. I didn't mind, not at all. He fought it at first, using his hands as he tried to push me away. But he slowly gave up and something wet touched my skin, the taste of his tears was stronger than before. The warm, saulty tears that filled with sorrow and despair. The kiss deepened as we leaned down and met the solid wall, he tried to tear away as I put one hand on the white wall for support and the other held his chin up. I'm not going to let you go, not that easily, not right after I have just confessed my feelings. No way...

Panting echoed inside the room, the lack of oxygen finally caught up, not before I realized that my lungs could hold in much longer breath than others because of my training.

" Why?" His voice was so small and barely audible as he said between gasps.

" I told you, I love you."

" But I don't deserve you! With a body like this, I can't never deserve your love not now, not ever. Don't you understand that?" So cracked and broken. I stroke his cheek in an attempt to calm his aching heart.

" I don't care. I don't care about your past, I don't care about anything at all. All I care is that I love you, more than anything else and again, in my eyes, you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen."

Slowly, Len titled his head over to the side where my hand was as he put his hand on mine then what seemed like a ghost of a smile appeared.

" Relying on other people, it seems that I can only do so much."

" You always say such weird things. Relying on others is fine, nothing's wrong with that. But you're not relying on anyone, you have been so strong up until now, bottling all of that pain inside..." He shook his head with a sad smile on his face and those eyes were downcast. " But... if you don't mind me asking... why... why didn't you report that to the police?" I asked with a slow and calm voice.

" There was no evidence." His answer sounded like a breath. " After he was done with me, they threw me out into a small alley and erase all traces... If I go to the police then, they wouldn't believe me..." He shook his head again. " I was so digusted with myself that as soon as I got back to my apartment, I locked myself inside the shower for hours... I scrubbed myself so m-much... ho-hoping that everything would go a-away... It came to the point when my whole body was sore and my arms were bleeding... b-but it... it didn't g-o away... it just didn't."

He choked and once again tears fell down from his already puffy eyes, I hate seeing him like this. I hate everything, all of the people who did this to you will pay Len. They will pay dearly for what they have done.

" I don't want to drag anyone into this life of mine. I don't want Shuichi know that he has me as his father, I don't want my parents to have me as a son, I don't want them to know what happened. And I don't want you to do anything for me, I don't want you to love a person like me, I don't..."

I trapped him into another kiss, this one was brief as I tore away and looked straight into his eyes.

" It wasn't your fault that things happened. It was just a chain of events that folowed each other, it has nothing to do with you. You're just another victim of life, so stop taking everything onto your shoulders! I know that it's very hard for you, but please, bearing all of this anguish, despair, sorrow and sadness won't do you any good. They have already taken their toll on your body; you're so thin now and you're skin is so pale. The once burning fire in your golden eyes is so dim, the proud azure color of your hair seems darken and everything else..."

I wrapped my arms aound his small form again, trying to share the warmth, trying to show that he was still alive and that I didn't care about anything that had happened to him. I could hear his heart pounded softly, the special aroma of his body engulped my senses and for the first time, his arms, too, were on my back. Those fingers clutched the fabric of my shirt tightly. It was good sign, because I think that it showed that he would try to do what I said.

" All of that can be fix if you try to let go of the past. Please, try to live for today and look forward to the unknown tomorrow, try and live for yourself for once, live without having any regrets, pain, sorrow or tears filled your heart every day. Be selfish for once, Len." I whispered into his ear and tightened the hold. " But I think, for now, just cry, okay? Cry until there is no tears left to cry, cry to ease your suffering. Just cry, cry your pain away. And I'll be right here waiting for you. I won't go anywhere."

_All of that magical dust engulped the angel as his clothing began to change. The plain white was changed with a silver armer clad on his torso and a pale blue large-sleeved silk shirt with matching pants and steel silver booths, the same material with the armer. The angel was very surprised by this transformation as he stared with widened eyes at the God before him and suddenly golden armered hand reached up and touched the pale forehead as a silver ring with a delicate crescent moon on it appeared._

' _You are a new person, now. From now on, you will be the God of Moon.' Another soft smile present itself. ' And I will stay besides you forever... Do you agree to do the same for me, dear Moon God?' The angel slowly caressed the hand that had moved down from his forehead down to his cheek and nodded._

' _I do...' He smiled at the God of Sun._

= xXx =

_To be continued..._

_**A/N:**_ Oh My God! I can't believe I posted two chapters in just three freaking days! You guys inspired me so much and I listened to a song that was way too suited for the sircumstances that I couldn't resist the urge to write more! Arigatou, mina! A wonderful day for the end of the month I guess. Thank you, my beloved readers. Please review! I need them! By the way, the story in italic is just something that popped in my mind by accident, okay? It's not based on anything. Thank you! See you later, I'll try to surprise you guys for another time XD. By the way, do you want to have lemon next chapter? Please tell me.


	17. If You're not the One

_**Chapter 17:**_ If You're not The One...

I stroke the azure hair that seemed like it was shining under the moon light and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. He didn't notice that, maybe because he was too tired. I looked at his body for a long moment, his ribcage was moving up and down evenly as he slept and those eyes that cried like there was no tomorrow that were closed sometimes fluttered slightly. I stood up to go outside and closed the door quietly behind my back, trying not to make any noise that would wake him up. I walked back to my room and closed the door as I sat on the bed, turning my phone on and dialed a number that I thought I'd never need again.

" Moshi-moshi." A male voice answer.

" It's me, Shishi."

" Oh, boss! How long has it been since I last see ya?" He said with a fake enthusiastic voice. I could literally saw him flicking his lighter with a cigarette between his lips.

" Cut the crap. I have something to ask of you."

= xXx =

Minutes later, I found myself staring at Len once again from the gap between the wooden doors. At least the sleeping pills were working. Yes, sleeping pills, or else, he'd never shut his eyes. We did came to the point when Len and I had to go back home. Kishimoto obviously was trying to ignore all of the commotions that happened, he knew that it wasn't exactly a nice thing to even mention about. And he gave me some medicines for Len as well. After that, we went back to my house, we said a quick good-bye and drove away.

He was sleeping, that was a miracle, somehow, medicine was really helping. And then looking at him suddenly reminded me about what happened. I kissed and confessed to him. In that kind of situation! Oh man, what was I thinking? I knew that it wasn't the most sane thing to do. What would he say tomorrow, when he's… stablelized again?

I sighed. Well, I didn't really care. No matter what I'll still be by his side whenever he needs. For now, he needed all the rest he could get. And I'll take care of him... until his wounds heal and after that as well.

= xXx =

I cooked up breakfast, I knew for a fact that those pills wore out and he'd show up any minute now. Tomatoes soup, I thinking about something that would be light for his stomach and easy to eat.

The sound of the metal blade of the night cutting against the chopping-board as I was doing the tomatoes echoed throughout the whole kitchen. The feeling of emptiness filled the air around me. I have been living here for more than three years already and still couldn't get rid of the feeling of loneliness it has. Good thing that Len was here now, his presence was more than enough to fill the empty space that left untouch for so a long time with an unknown reason.

My hands stopped what they were doing when I heard the sound of the door opened. I didn't need to turn around to know what, or rather who, he was looking at.

" Awake I see." I began after a long moment of silence. The awkward atmosphere was quite unbearable to keep it going. " Sit down, beakfast will be ready soon enough."

Strangely, Len didn't say a word as he did exactly what was told. I found myself looking, this kind of action shuddered me sometimes. He was quiet, but not like this. Was he mad at me for pissing him off? For... kissing him?

I went back to the cutting. Truthfully, I didn't know what the hell he was thinking. His eyes then was hard to read, maybe he really was mad, upset because of both. Pissed him off then kissed him.

What was I thinking?

I shook my head, I really needed Kishimoto to take a look at me some time, I don't that I was normal or not.

Two plates of steamy tomato soup were placed on a tray with spoons and spice ( if needed ) as I brought it out to the table. Len seemed like he was in very deep thought, there was a vacant look to his golden eyes. It bothered me, a lot.

The only time he seemed to be noticing anything around him was when I put his plate down in front of him. He was surprised as he looked at his food and then me after that back to the wood surface of the table.

" Gomen... I should have helped out." He said quietly, I shook my head, whether he saw it or not.

" No, it's okay. You don't have to worry."

After that, we ate in silence. Len was distracted by something, I noted, since he kept on spacing out quite a few times, and he barely touched the food. But everytime I asked, he just shook his head then continued to eat.

I told him that I would wash the dishes, of course he didn't agree, but I managed to make him silence. Somehow. He looked too tired to be doing anything, besides, I didn't really want to buy another set of dishes.

Some warm milk would make anything go away, like what my mom used to say to us when we were sick. I poured the milk into a glass, well, I did know that milk was suppose to be the only thing, but I couldn't help it. I pulled something out from my pocket, something that Kishimoto gave me that is. The two pills fell into the glass and quickly dissolved into the white, warm liquid. I turned around and smiled innocently, he wouldn't like it if he knew that he was... let's say, drugged.

" Here. Drink up." I said in a sing-song voice. He eyed me then the glass then nodded slightly.

I returned to the sink and did some dishes while keeping an eye on him, which was kind of frustrating considering the fact that somehow the guy had developed cat-like instinct. It was kind of freakish by the way. The bubble appeared and the chemical smell of the pigwash filled the air. I turned slightly to look at him from the corner of my eyes.

The sun was shining outside as the sunlight beamed down gently through the transparent curtains of the windows, making him looked so... surreal. His face was slightly lowered, slightly over-grown bangs fell in front of his downcast eyes, which were looking absent-mindedly at the half empty glass of milk in his hands. Len licked his lips a little bit, leaving behind a thin layer of saliva on them. I swallowed, gosh, I knew for a fact that I shouldn't think of such thoughts, but... damn... they looked so fucking juicy.

My cheeks felt kind of hot as I quickly turned away. I shook my head, trying to clear my head. Man... I hope he didn't see that, since it'd be really embarrassing!

' _Clank.'_

Len put the glass down, somehow, he drank all of the milk. I found myself smiling as I put the last thing to the rack, dried my hands then went to sit next to him. Len turned to look at me then suddenly looked away. I puzzled.

" What's wrong?"

The question went unanswered, I sat there reverting my gaze back and forth between him and the floor. I have never liked it when the atmosphere was so tense like this. I frowned and kept on staring down at the ground, he was that uncomfortable with me around? A small sigh escaped, maybe I shouldn't have done that at the time, I should have waited longer and now...

" About..."

Surprisingly, Len was the one who broke the awkward silence. I immediately looked at him, a little bit startled.

" About what you said... back at Kishimoto's clinic... that..." He was having a hard time saying that aloud. " That you... love me? I don't know how to say this, but..." He looked up all of the sudden, his face was really serious, which made me quite nervous. Anxiety was rising.

" Ryotaro, please, f-forget about that. Forget about your feeling to me. Don't get yourself involve with me."

Speechless.

My breath hitched inside my throat.

I could feel my heart pounding harder and faster with every second.

Fists clenched. The whole body was shaking... out of anger.

Everything was quiet. Too quiet and I felt pity for shattering it.

But it has to be done.

" Arghhh!"

I shouted and pushed him down onto the couch with a loud 'thud'. He tried to escape, but it was useless with me pinning him down onto the soft material with both hands on the shoulders. I had the upper hand in this situation and there was nothing he could do about it while being both shorter and weaker than I was, I straddled him.

" You... BAKA! TEME!" I shouted. " How the hell do you expect me to just... fucking forget it all, huh? I love you with all I've got and now... now you tell me to throw everything away JUST LIKE THAT? I will NOT accept it! I won't! How many times do I have to tell you?"

" L-Let go, Ryotaro..." He still struggled.

" No. No! I won't let go... not until you acknowledge the fact that I love you." I bit my lip and stared down at him. My eyes felt so stung somehow. " I love you so much, so much that it hurts. I don't understand why... why do I have to fall in love with you of all people. Y-You... idiot."

Tears fell, the droplets touched his face and shattered. I tried to supress the sob and I could tell my lip was split as the metallic taste of blood filled my mouth. I clenched my eyes shut and turned away, not wanting him to see this pathetic side of me.

How? How could he say something so stupid? Did he think that if he says so then I'll really do what was requested? Did he think that these emotions were all just a joke?

My heart felt like it was twisted by some unknown force. And it hurt, a lot at that, too.

My eyes snapped open when something brushed against my cheeks. It was his hand, it was reaching out and trying to wipe the tears out of my eyes. I looked at him, I was surprised myself.

" Don't cry. You were not made to cry." He said softly as his rough yet, soft hand slowly caressed my cheek. " You live a perfect life, with car, a sucessful company, people who support you, a large mansion and a great amount of money. It seems like you're living an ideal life, a dream even. And I... I don't want to be the only stain in this paper-like white life of yours. I made a lot of thinking, and..."

He explained to me slowly, I could hear the sadness and pain weighing on each an every word.

" It's not worth the try, Ryotaro." His voice whispered ever so softly in the quiet room.

I shook my head, using one of my hands to touch his and slowly held it as I laced our fingers together. No resistance.

" If my life was so perfect like you said then I want it to be completed. And the only person who can do that, is you."

" No. It cannot and will not be me. Ryotaro, listen to me for a chance, I am not what you need even if you think so, please, you can love anyone. Anyone **but** me."

I looked at him with blurred vision, but through the thin layer of saulty water, I could still see the look on his face. It was mix-feeling between anxiety and somewhat... pleading.

" Len, _you_ is the one who have to listen. I told you, I don't care whether your past was good or not; I don't even care if you love me, but the thing is that, you cannot forbid me to love you. Say whatever you feel, do however you want, but this feeling, this warm feeling other than emptiness in my heart will remain. It will never disappear."

I reached out my other hand touch his face like what he was doing. Feeling his soft, yet so cold skin under my palm. I wanted to feel him this close for so long, longing to share the warmth, and yet... I blinked away the remain of the tears in my eyes and lowered my torso down until our faces were inches away.

" Please... I don't..." His voice was soaked with fatigue and sadness.

" How many times do I have to tell you that no matter what happens, I'm here. I have and would always be here, waiting for you, taking care of you and watching over you. You are all that I need in this whole wide world, even if I lose everything, I don't care as long as you're with me." I said in a low voice, said it with all of the calmness inside of me, trying to get that into his head.

" Don't say that. You have no idea how painful it is to lose everything in your life, Ryotaro." His eyes were started to droop. The pills were beginning to take effect.

" Yes, I don't know. But there's one thing I know for sure, I love you, with all my mind and body." I said, looking straight down at him. " The question is, do you love me? Even just a little bit? Love me because of who I am, not because of what I have done for you."

Len looked surprise after hearing that. His eyes widened, but he didn't answer, instead, he turned his head away, letting the bangs to cover up most of face.

" Answer me, Len." I sounded like I was demmanding him to reply, which I didn't really want to do that, but I needed to know, badly. I bent down lower than I already has, close enough to whisper into his ears. " Tell me the truth."

His whole body seemed to jerk as he moved away and pulled himself out of my grasps with all of the strength he has. Len panted, his face was flushed as one of his hand grabbed few of the undone buttons on his button-up white shirt as the open space that revealed part of his collar bones was covered.

'_AND THE RESULT WAS TO GET MYSELF RAP-...!'_

His shout once again echoed in my mind. God, I... I must have done things that reminded him of... that.

" Len... I-..." I reached out, planning on soothing him, but he himself put up a hand as a signal for me stop.

" Never do that again." He rasped out, clearly still... frightened by the memories, at least I think so.

" I'm..."

" Not another word, Ryotaro." He quickly stood and went out with hurried steps without even bothered to look back. The door slammed shut behind him.

" Fuck."

I cursed under my breath then suddenly the phone vibrated and rang inside my pocket. I sighed and took it out.

" Yo, boss. I got all of the information you need." He said in a sing-song voice.

" Details?"

" C'mon, I know you boss. Let's meet at the usual, k? I'll give you all of the info I have."

I hung up and went out of the kitchen and headed toward my room. I stopped, but it was in front of his bed room, not mine. I stood there for a long moment then decided that maybe it was a good idea to go in and have a small check even though he wasn't exactly that fond of me then. The door opened as I peered my head in and when I saw that he was sleeping already, I assumed that the medicines worked and went in. I took a look around.

All of his stuff was moved here, which wasn't that much. Just some old books, two or three worn-out boxes that I didn't dare to look inside, a few set of clothing, the violin case, music sheets and... some old pictures of himself and his parents. They were very well kept even though I found them in a small dusty drawer.

All of that stuff and this spacious room, they didn't exactly go well with each other. I really needed to buy him more things to fill all of this empty space up.

" Uhm..." I was startled by the sudden sound. Len curled up in the bed as he shifted slightly. I sighed, I thought he just somehow magically woke up.

Len lay there, curled up like he was cold even when the room temperature was warm. My eyebrows furrowed and went to his side. He was sleeping on one of the most comfortable bed, and yet, he still seemed uncomfortable somehow. There, too, was a frown to his face, making him look like he was uncertain... scared of something. Perhaps a nightmare, perhaps... me. I bent down, my face closer to his. Maybe it was my fault that he was having this expression. I overdid it when I shouldn't have.

He murmured something that was incomprehensible, the fingers on the right hand that was lying in front of his face began to reach forward slightly. It was as if he was searching for something, trying to find something to hold onto. Trying to escape. I didn't know what to do, if I wake him up, he'd just ask what I was doing in the room then I wouldn't know what to say. That was the reason why I suddenly caught a hold on his hand around the fingers and slightly squeezed them. I wanted him to know, even in his sleep, that I would always be there for him. Always.

The frown deepened, making me think that maybe holding his hand was another wrong move until his feature relaxed as he let out a soft sigh. And like someone just smacked a hammer into my brain, I realized that he was confused by the sudden warm touch. Cautious even in his sleep. Abruptly, I felt like laughing, I did subpress it down fortunately, Len was just too cute when he wasn't that aware or cautious of his surrounding. I reached out my free hand and brushed away the hair that fell in front of his eyes, gently caressed his cheek, I whispered.

" Sleep well, okay? You need your strength."

As if answering to what I said, his fingers softly curled up against mine. He was still so pure and innocent, what on earth has led to the events that made him think that he was so... unworthy? Well, soon, I'd find out who and what caused it. They will have to pay the consequences dearly.

= xXx =

The café was not that far away, it was 'Classic' after all. Not a crowded café, but a good enough place. I went in as the bell on the door jingled. Someone was waving and I didn't need to look to know who that was.

" Don't make a scene. I certainly don't need any attention."

" Right, right." He laughed then took the file out from his briefcase after I sat down, and I too pulled an envelop that contained the money for him.

" Okay, so this... Mori Yuki person, there's not much information about this guy. He first appeared to the world five years ago, before that, no one knew where he came from. Quite a poor person, apparently rented a small apartment five years ago somewhere in Kyoto then began to find jobs. At first he worked at a bookstore, life was fine then until the store closed, since there was not many customers. Then he searched for other jobs, honestly, I have to say that he worked like a dog, running around between jobs."

I eyed him as he looked up and noticed the not-so-comfortable face, after clearing his throat, he continued.

" Well, anyway, his work didn't have that much money, so he went to look for more job to include into his already three-job list. Then after that, he found one with high salary and all, working in a bar. It sounded kind of stupid, though, like anyone would know that dark, shady looking bars mean trouble."

I stared into the space between the opposite chair and the wall. Of course Len knew that, he knew quite clear, but it was about the money. Money, I sighed, it seemed that most of the time, everything just revolves around this thing.

" He went in there, I don't know whether to call this lucky or not, but he became an entertainer with intrsument, violin and sometimes the electric piano or guitar with some random bands. His salary was deducted, since he only played for a short period of time, though I think it was still enough if he even bothered to stay there for two months. Well, he left there in the end anyway. The shocking thing was that he didn't leave because he was fired, but because he was raped."

I looked up almost immediately after hearing this. This was truly the information that I wanted, though it wasn't faired that I paid to have this. I wanted Len to tell this himself, but I couldn't wait anymore.

" Apparently, a guy named Yuta, Japanese with Chinese origin, who was a regular guest that didn't come for a while. But one day, he returned and Mr. Mori Yuki here caught his attention, somehow, I don't know talent, beauty. And then… well, you know what happened next right? Rape and all."

" Who is he?" I asked in a demanding voice, making him stop his blabbing.

" Yuta, he's the one that worked for quite a major company, good at hacking things and all. As I said, he's a regular guest, comes in every Friday and Saturday nights to find some girls. A major pervert."

" Do you have his photo?"

" Here." With a nod, he pushed the photo out. " Forty-five this year, no wife though he has a few bastards here and there."

I could feel my blood boiled just by looking at him. Damnit all! He was fucking forty-five, with disgusting blond dyed hair that looked like a bird nest, with a weird face, slanting eyes, flat nose and a stupid smirk on his face. I clenched my fist from under the table. I really could have hit someone right there and then if I hadn't calmed myself.

" What club?"

" Midnight Party." A curt answer, but it has all of the information that I needed. I told him to gather the papers on the table surface back into the folder, we exchanged the money with folder back and forth quickly as I paid for the drinks and left.

I took long steps and tried to breathe in and out calmly. My heart was racing fast and the chilling atmosphere of Autumn literally wasn't there with my body felt almost as if it was on fire.

Damn it all!

I wanted to shout. I wanted to scream, cry, yell, hit at someone. But it wasn't that easy with my conscion kept on nagging at me from the back of my mind.

Fuck.

= xXx =

' Click.'

The door closed as I entered the house. The house was dim, with a few beams of sunlight here and there.

I walked past the kitchen, all of the sudden I stopped and opened the door. It was empty, no one was there. Through the golden color of sunlight that radiated from behind the transparent current of the windows, I could the see the dust in the house.

Lonely.

The feeling hit me like a huge wave. What would I do if Len wasn't here? The question popped up out of nowhere. No, not out of nowhere, it has been on the back of my mind for a long time now, but I've never actually thought about it. Too much of a coward I guess. With a sigh, I closed the door.

And then I looked up.

There were heavy footsteps up on the first floor, the area where Len was sleeping. But he couldn't have woken up, right? Since, since the sleeping pills were kind of strong, so it would be a good hour later before he wakes.

I raced upstairs and swung the door open. Len wasn't on the bed, the blanket was all messy as I looked around. The shower perhaps? When I was about to go in and check the bathroom, I saw some wet footsteps on the floor. They led to the balcony.

I slowly went there, and stepped out.

" Len?"

= xXx =

_( Normal P.O.V)_

It was windy, the sky wasn't that clear, dark clouds were hovering above and they weren't going to leave in just a gust of wind.

Ryotaro stared.

Len was sitting there, huddling in the corner, body, clothing were all dripping wet. His face was burried in his arms. Ryotaro's heart clenched. What happened? He thought to himself.

" Len?"

Reaching out a hand, the pianist touched the other's shoulder with a sudden jerk from under his palm, the tan withdrew his hand back a little.

" Len." He said in a gentle, almost calming voice. " Len. It's me, Ryotaro. I'm not going to hurt you, so please…"

His fingers slid into the wet strands of hair from the side and slowly caressed the cold cheek. Len eventually relaxed himself under the warm and caring touch.

" Look up." He demanded while sliding his hand down to the chin and lifting it up. The tan was surprised by what he saw.

Len's eyes were half-lidded, obviously was still effected by the drug, but those eyes were so dim. They didn't have any life in them, not at all. It was like he… Len didn't even aware of his surrounding.

Water dripped down and broke like crystal on the hard floor.

Ryotaro shuddered unvolunteerily.

Water. Fall down from his face. Fall down from heaven.

The wind picked up stronger as Ryotaro quickly slid his arms under the other's body and lifted it up easily. It wasn't that hard considering how light Len was.

The rain fell harder as they just got inside.

= xXx =

Len sat there, leaning against the bed frame for support to keep his body there, it was as if he had no strength left. The windows slammed shut and Ryotaro was wet. He shook his head hard, trying to get rid of the water that was just making the situation even more unbearable than it already has.

He looked up, golden eyes stared at the back of the azure-haired violinist for a few seconds before going to the wardrobe and took out clean and most of all dry clothes. The pianist went to where Len was and bent down to the other's eye-level.

" Len." Taking Len's hand into his own, Ryotaro continued. " Len, come on. Snap out of it. Len. You have to change out of those... Len!"

He shook Len's hand, desperately trying to get the violinist's attention. He felt so weak inside, what was wrong? What happened? What seemed to be the matter? He tried, tried so hard. He wanted to make Len snap out of his daze, but at the same time, he didn't want to hurt him, either.

Those eyes looked at him, yet through him at the same time. His body was here, but his soul was not.

Ryotaro's heart felt like it was hit with a hammer and broke into pieces. He bit his lip, so hard with all of the fear and frustration that it split as the mentallic taste of blood filled his tongue, again. He did that so often these days.

His hands moved up and slowly undid the buttons of the drenched button-up shirt. Pulling it down, his eyes wanted to be shut immediately with the sight of Len's ribcage that looked visible under the pale, thin skin. Using a towel to dry the other body after taking off the clothes then replaced it with a white long sleeves T-shirt and short.

Len's mind was still somewhere else. He sat there staring into space while leaning his body onto the bed frame.

Laying him down neatly into the bed and pulled up the blanket, Ryotaro sat there on a chair, eyes not leaving Len. He sighed, Len's eyes were still opened with the same vacant stare.

" What happened?"

He sat there watching, waiting for something to happen. Then slowly, Len's eyes shut closed, his breath even out, too. He fell asleep. It was only then that Ryotaro dare to lace their hands together and squeezed slightly, he could feel the warmth penatrated his skin, and he soon found himself falling asleep.

= xXx =

Ryotaro

A fresh wind blew, and someone began to sing. It was a lullababy, the voice was soft and carried such gentleness that anyone could have fallen asleep. It was so soothing, who was singing? In a daze, I asked myself. The singing continued, making my hazel mind wonder even more.

I opened my heavy eyelids, and everything was blindingly white. Almost immediately, I closed my eyes out of reflex. In my still blurred vision, I could see someone was standing there, it was a woman.

After getting use to the bright light, I blinked my eyes for a few times, and looked up. My eyes widened with much surprised.

" H-Hamai... Misa?" I whispered, she was standing there, back facing me. No. It couldn not be her. No!

I stood up, reaching my hand out in an attempt of touching her.

It went through.

My hands went through her body.

What was going on? I tried again and again, but the result was the same. Everytime I touched her, my hand went through her body. I looked down, and found that my body was transparent and I have no shadow, it was as if I were a ghost.

The last thing I remembered, after trying so hard to remember it, was falling asleep while holding... ahem... Len's hand. Did I die when I was sleeping?

After quite a few minutes later, I came with a conclusion that this was a dream. Yes, a mere dream. I took a look around, and I supposed that heaven was not a room with Hamai-sama and a craddle. No. Besides, if I did die then I think that I couldn't have gone to Heaven right away without seeing Kami-sama, whether he was up there or not.

Though, I have to say, the reason I was here for was unthinkable.

" There, there. Be good and sleep now, child." Hamai-sama's voice spoke up all of the sudden, snapping me out of my train of thought. _' Child?'_

I turned and slowly walked to where she was and looked at the craddle, since I couldn't touch her, I didn't think that she'd here or see me. I peered in and saw a baby, quite chubby, no more than a few months old and it has fair skin, azure and those eyes it has. Golden and those eyes were sparkling and burning with a passion for life. This...

" Sleep now, Len. Mother will love you." Hamai-sama said in a sing-song voice as she caressed the child softly.

My heart skipped a beat. Len? I looked again, I thought that this child was familiar. But... how? Well, this was a dream, so anything could happen... right? At any rate, I've never thought that he was this cute when he was small. So chubby and all. If only he could have this much flesh on him in the real world. I smiled at the thought. Yeah, maybe he'd be just as cute as this.

Someone walked in, I could tell. I looked up, again, I was surprised, and I thought that this was supposed to be my dream.

" Len?" He was standing there, full height, just as old as I was and he was wearing a long sleeves white button-up shirt and black pants. The air turned tense all of the sudden and I felt like choking for air, it was hard to breathe. His long bangs covered his eyes, and I could see that his body, too, was transparent. Len lifted his arms up to wrap them around Hamai-sama's body, and placed his forehead onto her shoulder. He did not go through her as he stood there holding her, and the woman didn't seem to notice anything as she continued to sing the lullababy.

I swallowed as I sensed the dark aura surrounded his suppose-body. I looked and looked, something was bound to happen. My instinc told me. A sweat rolled down my head. My breath hitched inside my throat when he suddenly looked up slightly and from behind the bangs I could see one of his eyes, but it was... blood red. A sadistic smile appeared on his lips.

_The lullababy continued._

His hand moved up to her shoulder, I didn't know what was going on, but kept on watching. Nails dugging into soft skin, five traces of blood trickled down Misa Hamai's skin. His hand slowly went down, tearing away her flesh.

" STOP!" I shouted. " Stop that!"

This couldn't possibly be Len! He'd never do such a thing!

Suddenly, I couldn't move, and breathing abruptly became a hard task to accomplish. " S-st-op."

His hand was where her heart was and those bloody fingers dugged inside, blood flowed out, soaking her white dress.

_The lullababy stopped._

With a 'thud', her body lay on the ground lifelessly.

I stared wide-eyed.

Bangs covered his eyes. Hand soaked with fresh, warm blood. For a second, there was a sad look on her face. He held the bloody hand up.

Tongue stuck out from the opened mouth.

He licked it.

I stared as he licked the blood that was trickling down his fingers, white shirt soon turned into red. The smell filled the air.

Bloody eye, just like his hand, looked at me from its corner. The same defected, crooked smile appeared.

'" _Sweet... sweet blood..."'_

I stared, didn't make a sound, couldn't make a sound.

He turned and the door closed.

I gasped every bit of air to fill my lungs. I need to find it. That monster and put an end to this. Even though it was a dream, it was way out of hand. I stood up and ran to the door, taking a glance at the ground.

She wasn't there. The body was gone.

= xXx =

It was doing it again. In the living room, lying there on Tsukimori-san's thigh as the man read the book and took a sip of his wam tea. He slept like a good child. But the good child was soon replaced by something else.

It got up and with a sweet smile, it went around the sofa and reached out it's hands and placed them onto the father's shoulders.

The blood that used to be there was gone.

And soon was replaced with new one.

It went for the heart again.

I struggled to stop what was happening, but I was powerless again as I watched the body of Tsukimori-san fell down onto the sofa and the soft material changed color.

My body fell down onto the floor as I leaned against the wall for support. What was going on? Who was that monster? Where on Earth did it come from?

It appeared out of nowhere. Killing Hamai-sama, Tsukimori-san. It killed them with its bare hands. And always on the heart...

I stared.

The body of the man wasn't there. The sofa was clean, again.

Wha-...?

Hamai-sama's body was gone, too, in the room...

But they were there! That monster that took Len's face...

It stepped slowly out of the room. Blood dripped down from the fingers, staining the floor. But minutes later, the blood traces were gone as if they didn't even exist.

Something hit against my mind. Realization dawned. Thunder stroke outside the window, black clouds gathered on the sky. The hotpot was on the table, my jacket was lying there on the sofa and so was Len's cell phone.

_Fuck..._

I stood up slowly and shakily. I ran after him. I ran after that monster. After the monster that was Len.

He was there, heavy steps slowy dragging him out of the empty hall way to the door. The blood on his hand was gone.

" LEN!" I screamed from the top of my lungs. " STOP!"

His steps came to a halt. He stood still for moment there, like he was trying to decide what to do.

" Len." I rasped out.

He turned his head and looked at me from the corner of his eyes.

The blood wasn't there anymore.

" Do not go out there." I said, looking at him. " Do not open the door."

For a long while, we stood there and looking at each other's eyes. The air was all quiet, yet the dark aura was gone, the feeling wasn't tense. Not anymore.

'" _Why?"'_ I looked at him, eyes not tearing away.

" Because it won't help. It can't be help. No matter how much you hated it. It will never go away."

'" _Why so sure?"'_

_**I realized that this wasn't my dream.**_

" Because I know so. For sure."

_**This was his dream.**_

'" _They were all I had."' _

_**And... he was letting me see it.**_

" I know."

'" _Yet, they are the ones who haunt me."'_

" I know."

'" _Then stop."'_

" No, I won't."

'" _Why?"'_

" Because you are all that I have."

'" _Did you not see what I did?"'_

" I did see what you did." I said to him as he his suppose-emotionless face formed a frown. " But that was only an illusion."

He was quiet, Len didn't say anything back to aswer me, so I continued. " You did kill them, yet you did not. You want to erase memories about them. Trying to forget. But they did not disappear. By killing them, those illusion that you created, you are killing yourself. Am I right?"

Len turned around completely. He titled his head to his right and looked at me. The corner of his lips curved up into a crooked smile. Letting out a chuckle that soon turned into laughter. A bitter laugh that echoed throughout the empty and cold house. He laughed like a mad man. My heart clenched.

Eventually his laughter ceased as his steps faltered as he fell down, shoulder landed against the wall harshly.

" Len!" I came to his side. His body was shaking, he continued to chuckle. But then it suddenly stopped as he turned to look at me which startled me. Holding tightly onto my shoudlers, he shook me.

" Why! Why won't you understand? I'm not normal. There's something wrong with my fucking mind! I am insane! Can you not see? I killed them! I killed my mother in my room, my father in that living room. You were there, can't you see?" His voice was cracked and broken.

I held him into my arms and held him tightly. Rubbing his back as I ignore the struggling me made inside my embrace.

" Can you not see...?" He choked. Something warm and wet met my shirt. He sobbed as I pulled his head under my chin, gently stroking his hair.

" I saw it, I saw everything. But you did not lose your sanity, you're not insane. If so, then you wouldn't be here, sobbing in my arms, right? I don't know what to say or how to say it nor do I want to repeat myself. Just remember that I accept everything, good or bad, just as long as you're here with me, then it's fine."

For a long while, he did not say anything, Len just continued to cry as the tears wet my shirt slowly. His sobbing reduced into chokes and sniffs.

" Really?" I smiled.

" Of course. That's what I've been trying to tell you, I'll always be by your side, no matter what. Don't worry, either, I'll wash your world with colors."

" Wasn't it supposed to be 'paint'?"

" Yes, but just 'paint' won't be enough. That's why I have to use the word 'wash'."

I laughed. Len laughed. The laughter was genuine, and it has been a long time since I last heard it. And it warmed my heart. So much.

= xXx =

" You're awake?"

I opened my eyes and saw Len was lying there with his golden eyes looking straight at me. I was still holding his hand.

I sat up immediately, withdrew my hand and laughed nervously. Damn. I just had a weird dream and now when I woke up, I found myself in a weird situation, too. Great. Just great.

" Uhm... Did you sleep well?" I asked, trying to make up a conversation. He nodded as I stood up. " Well, I should get going. Sorry for troubling you."

Something held me back.

" Where are you going?" I turned around and stared at him. " Don't tell me that you've forgotten what you promised already." He said which was more like a statement rather than a question.

" What-..." Then something smack against my mind. My eyes widened. " So you mean..." He nodded... with a smile.

It took a few seconds for my mind to register what was happening. I grinned then sat down next to him on the bed.

" I thought that it was just a dream." I said to as he sat up.

" Yes. It was a dream. But all of the emotions were real. Even the fact that..." He looked away. " I usually have this dream, and whenever I have it, I could never go back to sleep. I don't think there has ever been a child that wants to kill their parents?"

" No. That wasn't your parents. I told you, they were illusion. You just want to forget, so you created an illusion, tried to kill it to erase the painful memories."

He was quiet again. I approached him, closing the gap between us and placed my forehead against his.

" Stop thinking about it. It'll be okay. I promise." I whispered softly then planted a small kiss on his lips. He looked at me with a hard-to-read expression, when I was about to back away, he leaned forward and kissed me.

Saying that I was startled was an understatement. But I didn't think that I'd let this chance of tasting his lips went away. I suck his bottom lip, demanding him to let me enter his mouth, and he did. The inside of his mouth felt warm and slick, and tasted like milk with some sleeping pills. But of course, he did not need to know this fact.

The kiss last for a while before we parted, mostly for air. I panted slightly and licked my lips. Those lips of his, were just as soft and juicy as they appeared to be. We fell back down onto the soft mattress and lay there, staring at the ceiling above.

" Why did you burst out on me all of the sudden the other day?" I turned and looked at him as Len asked me the question that I thought, somehow, he would have forgotten.

" Nothing in particular."

" Don't fool me. I'm not a child. Something must have happened for you to act like that." I didn't know what to say and those eyes of his that just kept on looking at me, waiting for an answer didn't make the situation any better.

" Well, _you_ should ask yourself that. I most definitely saw you and Hino ki-..."

I was cut off by his chuckle.

" So... you thought that Hino and I were... kissing!" He laughed. " You were eavesdropping and you weren't even that good at it."

" So?"

" So I was just talking to her and it just happened that I have to tell a something."

" What was it?"

" None of your business."

" What?"  
" It's a small secret. But for your information, I did not kiss her." Len declared. I did feel relieve, but at the same time, I didn't, because I know now that all I need was him.

" I love you." I said to him as he turned to look at me with a gentle smile.

" I know."

_To be continued..._

_**A/N:**_ Sorry it took so long to update. My cousin was back from America and all, so I have some responsibility in taking him to places. Anyway, R&R people! I love reviews!


	18. Mutual

_**Author's Note, do read please:**_

Hello everyone! So sorry for not tuning in sooner, but really the ninth-grade in my country is really hard work, at least that's what I think, since I have never been outside of my country. My fifteen-minutes-exam weeks passed now, so that's why I can update now.

I know that because of my long updating, I have lost many readers and reviewers also; I cannot help my schedules though. But I still love you guys a lot for supporting my story for a quite a long time. Sorry for making you guys wait like this.

Anyway, enough of my babbling, **Read and Review** please! It seems that I live on you guys' reviews or something. I will try to update sooner if I can. Again, thank you for your support people! Love you guys a lot! *(,)*

_**Disclaimer:**_ ( Something I have lacked since the beginning of the story) La Corda D'Oro doesn't belong to me, and so are the characters. Just borrowing!

_**Warning:**_ A little bit of language, angsty stuff (it seems like I can only write these things well), and a little bit OOC but really, if you consider about the situation then you'll see that it's not all OOC, not like you don't know these things, right? XD

_**Chapter 18:**_ Mutual

" Sleep, Len." I whispered in the dark. He simply nodded his head in returned as I sighed. " The last time you nodded your head was half an hour ago, you know." I said with much sarcasm. We went to bed at ten thirty and it was past eleven now.

1 hour, 27 minutes and 24 seconds.

Not like I'm counting.

He didn't, or more like couldn't go to sleep. Too many disturbing thoughts I guess, all because of his dreams. Strange and frightening dreams.

I placed my arm around his waist. I was sleeping with him tonight. I could feel his muscles tensed with the touch, but slowly relaxed. Inwardly, I smiled, he was beginning to trust me more and more.

" Sleep or else I'll have to shut your eyes with badanges."

" Really..."

" Don't try me, Len although it's a pity if you lose some eyelashes because of the glue."

" Why?" He asked, and the smile was obviously evident in his voice. He was amused.

I smirked and closed the gap between us and pulled up the blanket to the point where in was right under our chins.

" Because they are long and they make your eyes look sexxyyyy..."

" Shut up." He moved away as I laughed a little bit, I swore that I saw a touch of pink on his cheeks just now.

Looking at his back as I moved my arm to pull him back to where he was supposed to be. I breathed in the soft scent of his azure hair and snuggled closer.

" Good night, Len. Sweet dreams."

" You, too."

This is where we belong, and I didn't want anything more than this. This was enough, more than enough.

* * *

" Smile, Len!" I said to him in a sing-song voice as I pointed the camera at his face, he frowned then pushed the device away.

" What are you doing, Ryotaro?"

" I'm filming you of course!" I said while smiling, almost shouting. " I decided that whenever I got the chance, I'll try to film you."

" For what purpose?" He raised an eyebrow.

" Just feel like doing so."

He sighed then stood up from the sofa as he walked away. " I don't know what you are trying to archive by doing this, but whatever is it, you're wasting your time and money."

He said then went out of the living, probably going to the kitchen to make breakfast. I smiled. Well, this maybe a waste of time and money to Len, but it means everything to me. Just as long as I could look at his beautiful face then nothing matters.

I followed him to the kitchen. Len was washing the tofu. I went there and helped him out.

" Oh, Len, I forgot to turn off the TV, can you go and do it for me? My hands are kind of dirty." He looked at me from the corner of his eyes, sighed then went away. I smiled. " Thanks!" I turned back to the fish as the smile withered away from my lips.

The television was indeed on, knowing Len, he always used the remote control to turn it off.

However, it was right inside my pocket.

* * *

Len returned a while after, expressionless, which scared me for a bit. We finished making breakfast and ate in silence. He did not say anything for a long time, and neither did I.

We went to the living room and turned on the television, he didn't say anything as well, just sat there with a vacant look in his eyes. I flipped through the channels, looking for nothing in particular. Len broke the awkward silence, surprisingly.

" Did you watch the news?" He asked, face looked indifferent.

" No." I shook my head. " I came here to help you when the news was showing." I said and kept on flipping the channels.

" You know, there's an interesting news on the T.V this morning. Do you usually come to bars?"

" Sometimes, to have a... few drinks." My mouth suddenly felt so dry.

" You sound awfully nervous, Ryotaro. Anyway, I don't know whether you'd happen know a bar named Midnight Party, but its owner was arrested this morning. She was reported to the police for what she's done by an anonymous person."

" Really?" The channels kept on flipping, and I went through all of these for the second time.

Len nodded then turned to me.

" Good deed but stupid as well."

" What is stupid?" I found myself asking without thinking it through. _Damn it!_

" The so-called anonymous person. _He_ or she will be in quite a bit of danger if found out. Especially if that person were to be rich." I swallowed, man the sarcasm in his voice.

" Yeah." I nodded anyway.

Silence.

The tension was so thick that you could slice through it with a butter knife. Perfect, I could practically feel the dark aura that was surrounding his figure.

" Ryotaro?" He called with a soft whisper.

" Yeah?" I raised an eyebrow and looked at him, his face was downcast as the long bangs covered half of his face.

" You're stupid." I winced inwardly as he looked up suddenly. " Do you have any idea how dangerous it was?" He _shouted_. I stared.

" You went in there to gather information, and you think that you wouldn't have been seen?" He continued.

I stared harder.

" For the love of God, if they had known, they would have definitely KILLED you, you jerk!"

I was speechless... Well, more like I couldn't say anything rather than not knowing anything to say.

" Don't just stare at me like that!" He tackled me, Tsukimori Len the Great _tackled_ me! He straddled me on the very same sofa that we've been sitting on for like two seconds ago with fistful of my collar, he lifted my torso up. I could see his face clearly from where I was. Pale face suddenly flushed, lips pursed, an angry frown, his eyes were blood murderous. If looks could kill... I'd be a bloody pulp by now.

" Did I ask you to do that sort of thing, Ryotaro? Did I ask you to butt into my fucking business?" The nerves started to appear under the pale skin as he used all of the strength that he has inside that slim, stick-like figure of his to lift me up then hit me back down onto the soft material of the sofa underneath which, mind you, was really powerful. For someone that looked so under-malnourished such as himself.

" Did I fucking ask you to put yourself in danger for me?" His grips began to shake slightly.

" Answer me, Tsuchiura!"

I kept on looking at him, I did not try to think of any reason that sounded reasonable enough, didn't even try to say anything that was in the category of apologizing. Nothing like that.

" I love you." I whispered then reached my hand up, trying to caress his cheek, but he used pulled it away before I could do so.

" Don't touch me." He murmured, yet his fingers tightened around my hand so hard, clinging onto it so desperately. " I hate you. Why won't just go and love some else?... I hate you... so damn much..."

" Yeah... I know. I know that you hate me, don't worry."

* * *

Kahoko was having a typical Sunday of cooking, cleaning, taking care of Shuichi and all, and she was really happy with that. It was eleven, almost noon and so was her lunch. Her little has been behaving really well, so every Sunday she'd try to make up something special for the child; and that day, Kahoko cooked Udon, hot and steamy Udon.

She was quite proud of herself that she could actually cook decent meals for her son, she was quite an idiot and quite clumsy at things, after all.

She was checking for the broth that has been boiling with low temperature when the doorbell rang.

She sighed, _who can it be, it's Sunday's noon for God sake, and I was about to taste the broth, too._ Nonetheless, she went and checked anyway, of course, she would have to check, ignore whoever that was out there was not an option, and asking Shuichi was out of the question from the beginning.

The bell rang for a few more times along with the sounds of the people talking before she could properly reached the door. " Coming!" _So impatient._

She opened the door after wiping her hands on her apron. " Who is -..."

Kahoko didn't get a chance to finish what she began when she saw the two figures stood there.

" Hello." Len greeted the woman. " We came for a visit, hope we are not troubling you." He suddenly smiled, a gentle and heart-warming one. Just like before as Kahoko blushed slightly, well, since the day they... ahem... she broke up with him, this was the first time she saw him smiled directly at her. She missed these rare smiles.

" Hi, Hino." Ryotaro waved, standing right besides Len, with quite a smile on his lips, too. " It's been a while."

At that moment, a voice said jokingly from far away all of the sudden. " Whoa, Hino-san. And here I thought that the only man on your mind was Shuichi-chan!" It was the boy that lived a few blocks away from where Kahoko was, and he adored Shuichi a lot. He was riding on his bicycle, just happened to pass by it seemed, as he whistled.

" None of your business, Kimihiro-kun! And Shuichi is still the only man on my mind, mind you!" Kahoko shouted back, sounded equally enthusiastic.

" Just you wait! We'll see about that!" Then that weird boy disappeared around the corner with his bike.

" Who was that?" Ryotaro asked, still looking at the direction the boy disappeared to.

" Just a kid in the neighborhood that like to come by every once in a while to play with Shuichi." Kahoko smiled.

" Be careful. He's onto you." Kahoko laughed.

" He was kidding, Ryotaro. You should stop as well, you know. Honestly." Along the line of the scenes happened when the bicycle-boy appeared, Len disappeared as well.

The both of them saw the pair of shoes that belong to said mysterious-disappearing man placed neatly over at the corner. And a few seconds later, he was found in the kitchen, sipping tea with Shuichi followed suit right next to him, except his 'tea' was replaced with a cup of milk. Len knew that it was lunchtime, and he didn't want to spoil the child's appetite by letting him drank too much milk.

He looked at the two, green and red, that were standing by the kitchen's entrance after putting his teacup down.

" That was faster that I thought. Anyway, while you two were busying yourself with the boy and his bicycle, I went in and helped myself to a cup of tea and milk to Shuichi. I hope you won't mind, Hino." Len said with a monotonous voice that made Kahoko and Ryotaro sighed.

" That's Kahoko for you two, and no, I don't mind at all." She said than signed Ryotaro to come over to the table and sit down with Len and Shuichi.

" Now that we've gotten that over with, may I suggest you add a little more salt into your broth which I took the liberty to taste it when I turned off the oven. Again, my apology for intruding."

The same monotonous voice came out from his lips along with the lack of facial expression, sending chills down Kahoko spine, this was one of the things about Len that it has been long since she last saw it as well.

The room was quiet, no one spoke, and their attention was pouring at Len who then was still sipping his tea. The cup was put down on the table once more after the violinist has finished his tea as he looked up.

" Just kidding." He smiled... sheepishly.

Ryotaro stared.

Kahoko stared harder.

" Now, now, no need to stare at me like that, since everyone was joking around I figured I should pull something, too." He smiled again. Ryotaro laughed and Kahoko giggled.

" Oh man, you should be an actor you know! And here I thought I've pissed you up again, somehow." The green-haired man laughed.

" I'm considering." Kahoko giggled harder then turned to the kitchen. In truth she did think that she should add some more salt, since she was a little low on it the first time around; though she was so sure, it has to be tasted first.

She did what Len told, then turned on the oven and began to stir the broth for a little bit. She heard the chattering at the background, Shuichi's voice, Ryotaro's, occasionally Len's.

Speaking about Len, Kahoko has to say that she didn't expect him to change that much. She hadn't seen last time at the clinic, not that clearly anyway. Sure, he was still not that talkative, but he talked more than before and smiled more than before, that's for sure. He has been quite close to Ryotaro as well, they did fight like cat and dog before. Every time she saw Len then Ryotaro would be there too; and vice versa. At least they weren't fighting anymore. She smiled to herself, what good news it is.

Shuichi seemed to be in such delight, the aura around him was bright and warm. Well, she did have a talent at seeing things that shouldn't have been seen by anybody (like Lili), that included the air of a person's health, the aura or chi or 'chakra' if you watch Naruto. Kahoko smiled again, Naomi sure has spoiled her too much with these manga, especially Naruto.

Anyway, as she said, she could see the chi surrounds one's body, not just the same type, if one is happy, delight and fine then the chi would be bright and blue (that's right, just like in Naruto), if the person is a little sick then it would turn into grey, another type is that if someone is about to get sick, his or her chi will waver and turn pale blue. The last one is...

" Mother, mother." Kahoko turned off the oven then looked at her son who was tugging at her apron. " Look at what Len-san gave me." Kahoko winced at the name her son has given Len. 'San' even though he was the rightful father... but it could be helped, he's too young at the moment to tell...

" What did he give you?" She asked, trying to mask her sudden sadness away with a small smile. The boy held out a charm that lay neatly on his palms. Kahoko's eyes widened, this wasn't any ordinary charm that you can buy at temples, and this was especially made. The charm was in the color of dark blue with embroidered leaves from golden threads and flowers in silver. The flowers were peonies, and it means riches, honour and good omen...

" Oh, Len..." She whispered as she looked at the charm. " Did you thank him, dear?" Her voice shook a little when she asked. The boy nodded.

Kahoko stood up and held Shuichi small hand in her own. " We should thank him again, this time with me." The child nodded, listened well to his mother's words.

The last type of the chi is when the person's life is on the verge of life and death, and when that happened the chi turned... " Black..."

Kahoko stared with horror when she looked at the chi around Len's body, it was black and so weak as well. Why didn't she see it before? When it was so obvious like that? Kahoko thought to herself, but of course her senses could only develop this high when her mind was not distracted or else... And when she thought about it, before when she saw Len, she was distracted by the truth behind Shuichi's father, then when they were at the door, it was the bicycle boy and when she was in the kitchen, she was distracted by Len's attempt of making a joke...

" Len-san, my mother told me to thank you again for giving me this charm, so I thank you for you kindness." The boy said with ease, just like what his mother taught him. Upon hearing the boy's voice, Kahoko was snapped back to reality.

" Uhm... Thank you, Len. You are so kind." He smiled, but it was weak, then asked her to come to the table and sit down if she were done with her cooking. Kahoko did what was told as he seated herself right besides Len.

The black chi around his body was getting intense; it made her hands shook as she pursed her lips together to suppress the shaking. She looked at Len, closely and clearly for the first time in years without getting distracted. And it made her heart clenched. His eyes were slightly sunken, pale skin that sickingly stuck onto his bones which made the clothes he was wearing looked so much bigger though she was 80% sure that these were the same size with what he wore... five years ago. There were those bags under his eyes signaling the fact that he didn't get enough sleep, the tired in his eyes that seemed like it wouldn't just go anytime soon.

Then... the way he smiled ever so sheepishly back then, the way he tried to crack a joke with amusement. Was that all just an act? _Len you..._

" You cannot believe what he bought for you, Hino! It's..." Ryotaro said all of the sudden when he was playing with the miniature Len.

" You be quiet. Your presence is not needed at the moment, so do something else." Len said, sounded like he was scolding a child with much amuse in his voice and a smirk on his face. The black aura turned somewhat into deep grey, and left Kahoko staring. Never before has she seen such a quick change in a person's chi like that. It was... unbelievable. Not that it changed a lot, like from black to deep grey, but not that many people could have pulled that off in less then two seconds.

" Hino." He called her softly.

" Just Kahoko, you don't have to be formal with me."

" Sure, if you say so. Kahoko..." He called her name once again, but the woman did not dare to look directly at Len, it hurt too much. " I have something to give you. Shuichi has one and so do you." He took out a square black box from the bag that he brought with him. His fingers, holding rather weakly on the edge of the black box as the other hand opened the lid. Kahoko, once again, stared in awe. A necklace with a gold lace and a small silver iris with blue petals which symbolizes faith, hope, cherished frienship...

" Len... I... I cannot possibly take this. Shuichi's present is more than enough, and this... no it's too much." He shook his head with a gentle smile.

" No. What you gave to me is worth so much more than this, so much more. This is all I could afford at the moment, but I will try to make more money and do what I should have done five years ealier."

" No, you don't have to. I-I don't deserve this, I mean, I haven't done anything for you to went out of your way and bought such exspensive-looking things." By now, Ryotaro has already taken Shuichi out to play, he knew all too well that these two needed some time alone.

" Please, do accept this, Kahoko. It's only a part of what I should have given you. Just accept it then you can do anything to it, put it back to the box, wear it... just don't return it to me." He smiled again, this time with a sad frown on his face. Kahoko heart felt like exploding at this point as she remembered her actions five years ago when she gave everything that he bought for back. He was so very angry then, so angry that he slapped the back in her hands away and all of the things in there scattered on the ground as he walked away. That day, if she hadn't... then... maybe his hand...

Tears fell down from her eyes as she lowered her face, shoulder shaking from the mental force that has hit her heart, it was so painful. His arms reached out and hugged her, his hand gently rubbed her back, trying to sooth her. But the pain was so overwhelming that she kept on sobbing, fat droblets of the salty tears flowed out and trickled down her cheeks. The warmth that radiated from Len's body was making everything worse, everything that he did, the smiles he gave, the gentleness in his voice, the charm he gave to Shuichi and now the necklace that symbolized faith... He was putting trust on the very same person that betrayed him all those years ago. Kahoko sobbed, she had done so many wrong and horrible things to him, and yet...

" W-Why?" She choked out between her sobs.

" Because I have never actually hated you. All I need now is for you and Shuichi to live a good life, and that is all I want." He used his hands to hold her shoulders and softly pushed her backward, out of his warm embrace. " Now, will you take the necklace?"

Kahoko thought about it for a moment or two as she looked at her used-to-be lover's face, there was the gentle look in his eyes as he, once again, smiled in a sad way that made her cannot open her mouth to reject him.

She nodded as he whispered what sounded like 'good' then took out the necklace from the box and rounded it around her neck.

" It looks good on you. But I think we need to fix something first." He put his hands on her cheek, and she could feel the rough skin of his palms against hers as those same fingers started to wipe away the tears out of her eyes and tugged the few strands of hair that were out of place behind her ears. " There, much better now."

Kahoko looked away, she didn't like how he was treating her, he was too damn good for his own self. He has always been like that; cold on the outside, yet hot on the inside. Just like diamond in the rough like people like to say.

Suddenly, the both of them heard laughter that came from the front yard as they looked through the windows, Ryotaro was tickling Shuichi, making the boy have a laughing fit. They both smiled, abruptly, Kahoko turned to look at Len; and she noticed that there was a different shine to his eyes. She tried to figure out who that look was directed to. But something told her that it wasn't for Shuichi, not that he didn't care about the boy, but she saw him looking at the child before, the look was different, filled with fatherly love. However, this was something that was totally unique and was so very distinctive. His body's chi changed just like before when... Something just clicked into place. She turned to look at the man that was playing with her son... Ryotaro... when she thought about it, the man was throwing the same look at Len whenever he got the chance, the look that was filled with pure passion and... love.

Somehow, Kahoko got it now.

It was mutual love. Now she understood the reason that was hidden to they being by each other's side all the time. Mutual love, she thought to herself, was something that she has not feel for quite some time. But seeing these two like this, it didn't freak her out, instead, it made her happy. Because love was something that was too powerful to resist even if you denied it, even if it was to the person that has the same sex as you are. Well, it's about time these two settle down, they have been running around aimlessly for too long now.

" Congratulation." The words slipped out of her lips all of the sudden, Len looked puzzle at the statement. She smiled. " I mean, congratulation on finding someone that you can actually love and love you back after five years of searching, though that person was always there by your side." It took a few seconds for Len's head to process what Kahoko said.

" I was not searching." He said in final, looking away, trying to hide the small blush that was forming on the pale skin of his cheeks. Kahoko giggled, again, it's been a long time since she last saw Len looking so embarrass like that. Too long.

" Of course you weren't." She said with a little bit sarcasm that she has found to be amusing to put into this kind of situation. " Anyway, really, I can't thank you enough for all of the things..."

" You don't have to. Seeing you two happy is all I need."

" So am I. Seeing you so full with happiness like this eases my soul. But please," She looked at the grey aura around him, " do try to be healthy for once, sleep more, eat more and have check-ups as frequently as you can, alright? For crying outloud Len, your body is pratically screaming for those." Len merely nodded. Well, something didn't change after all, his stubborness still remained intact. Just great.

" Well, you sit here and I'll go out to call the boys in before Ryotaro can think of something crazy to do." Kahoko said then stood up from, as she was about to went out, she stopped suddenly then turned around to ask. "Since when did you learn to give advice about cooking?"

" Since when I started to cook." Len smiled sheepishly.

" For real? Whoa. Who could have thought..." She murmured the rest as she went out. When seeing that she was completely out of sight, Len quickly reached to his left pocket, pulled out a handkerchief as he coughed into it, doubling over painfully in the process.

_Slowly, the white material was soaked with a dark red color._


	19. The Beginning of an End

_**A/N:**_ Hello! OMG, I have abandoned this story for so long! My apologies, but with all the tests and homework, it couldn't be helped. Well, I am REALLY sorry anyway. And I have made some think, and I decided that I should not stretch the story out anymore. That's why you have this chapter here. And by the way, thank you so much for all of your reviews, love you all, I have never thought that this story would make it this far with more than a 100 reviews. Again, thank you!

* * *

_**Chapter 19:**_ The beginning of an End

" _He's fine, there's nothing for you to be worried about, Tsuchiura-san."_

The pianist turned over to look at Len's back who was breathing in and out evenly, he was asleep for sure...

But something tells Ryotaro that what Kishimoto said was... wrong. And along with what Kahoko said when they were about to leave her house.

" _Please. I don't know if I'm wrong or not, but... you should take Len to Kishimoto-san's clinic or to a hospital to have a check-up... I'm worried."_

Ryotaro sighed, he did have a feeling that there was something wrong with Len, but...

He reached his arm out and placed it onto the other's waist and moved closer, feeling satisfied as he sensed the heat from Len's body.

" Uhm... what's wrong?" Came Len's sleepy voice, hearing it made the pianist smiled.

" Nah... Just feel like hugging you. That's all." He replied, making it sound so casual.

" Whatever... just don't wake me up again."

" Yes, sir." Ryotaro said with a grin then looked at Len again with a frown. Maybe he and Kahoko were wrong and Kishimoto was right, and everything would turn out okay. He thought to himself and closed his eyes. His arm was still on Len's waist. Well, he didn't say to take it off, did he. So, it'd be staying there for the rest of the night, Ryotaro decided.

But something was still nagging from the back of his mind.

* * *

It was eight in the morning, a quarter to eight to be exact, and Ryotaro was driving like crazy on the road. Len just looked at the schedule in his hands with pure boredom in his eyes.

" You have a meeting today at eight you know, Ryotaro."

" That's the reason why I'm driving like a maniac!" The man almost shouted. Well, he did look like a maniac with widely opened bloodshot eyes to stare, not look, at the road, crooked neck-tie and all.

" It was your fault to have overslept. Serves you right for staying up late."

" Well, what about you? You didn't even bother to wake me up!"

" Excuse me? I had to call you five times before you even bother to stir may I remind you, Ryotaro."

End of conversation. The pianist bit his lip, no matter how annoying it was to say this, but Len was right. Ryotaro was too wrapped up with this whole thing about Len, in the end, it was all about Len! But it wasn't like Ryotaro would admit that aloud.

" Ten minutes left." Len's monotonous voice cut through his thoughts, and the man cursed under his breath.

* * *

Ryotaro let out a sigh of relief after he had finished giving his presentation, he smiled satisfactorily when hearing the applause, shaking hands with the other people as they went out as he looked at Len, who then was standing there gathering all of the files back into his back. He smiled to himself, they managed to get there right ontime with a spare minute so that Len could fix up the taller man's messy clothing.

" How was it?" Ryotaro asked enthusiastically as the azure-haired man looked up.

" They seemed to have liked it a lot."

" I'm asking you, Len. What do you think about it?"

" Uhm... good I suppose, though stop flashing your smile whenever you can. Sometimes, it doesn't seem so appropriate."

" It lightens up the mood, though. I don't like a meeting to be too tense, not a very good working environment. But I'm glad you like it, since if my presentation doesn't work out, other companies will steal this chance away!" Ryotaro's grin seemed like it got wider, if that were possible. The violinist inwardly smiled, he was just like a kid sometimes.

It was almost noon anyway, so they, or rather Ryotaro, decided to have an early break. The taller man suggested going to the restaurant across the street, and Len agreed, it wasn't like Len had any better idea.

" There's a meeting at two you know. Don't forget and drown yourself with food." Len said, half serious, half joking.

" Right, right, I know. Besides, I'm with you, so no worry here!" He smiled warmly again.

The light turned red as they crossed the street.

" Hey, what should we eat? I was thinking about spaghetti, what do you think?"

" Let's choose when we're in the restaurant, Ryotaro." Len hurriedly pushed the other to go.

A black car was approaching. The red light was still on, but it didn't stop. The violinist stared at the car, the sound of Ryotaro's voice faded away as his hand gripped the tan's wrist tightly. The car wasn't going to stop any time soon even though there was still enough time to do so. It came to Len that the thing, or the person who drove it, was aiming at their direction. Ryotaro's direction.

Ryotaro, of course it had to be him. He was leading a gigantic company with numerous employees, he was a walking wallet, so he was a huge threat toward other companies. Of course it had to be him.

" _But I'm glad you like it, since if my presentation doesn't work out, other companies will steal this chance away!"_

" What's wrong?" Ryotaro turned around to ask, only to be shoved harshly forward by Len. And there was an annoyingly loud sound of car break being applied.

* * *

Everything was fuzzy, what the hell happened? Ryotaro asked himself as he looked up.

" Len!" He shouted when seeing the other man sat there on the road, panting, staring at the still car that was just a few steps away from him with his right hand holding his left shoulder. " What the hell happened?" He shouted again, but the azure haired man just merely stared at him with widened eyes, still panting.

Understanding the situation, Ryotaro went over to the car, using his hands to shield the light away for better vision, he looked at the people who were in the car. He absolutely had no idea who they were, but he could see the the distinctive symbol on the people's suits, they were from the Shang Corp. And Ryotaro didn't need to ask what the hell they were intending to do.

Immediately, he went back to Len, took out his cell phone and dialed 911, they would not get off the hook that easily this time around when Len was involved.

" Len, are you all right?" He shook the other slightly, Len looked at him and nodded shakily a second or two later.

" Thank God." Ryotaro was about to pull Len in and hugged him when he realized that Len was holding his shoulder. " What's wrong? Does it hurt?"

" I... I don't know." The taller man sighed as he frowned sadly, reaching his tan hand out and caressing the other's pale slightly bruise cheek softly. Len was still stun judging from how strange his reaction was.

Amber eyes turned to look furiously at the black car, these people were going to pay, Ryotaro swore to himself. A few minutes ago, they were slightly daze which meant that they didn't mean to hit Len, Ryotaro was the actual target, so when they saw Len pushed the green-haired man away, they pulled back, but the car didn't stop on time.

The taller man once again took out his phone, stood up and took a picture of the entire car, including the series numbers.

The crowd was gathering thicker and thicker, no sooner had the cops arrived than the two men drove away. Ryotaro could not do anything to stop, but he did have the evidence. At least they weren't going to escape that easily, no sir, not this time.

The medics arrived as well shortly after that. The doctor was examining Len and they were muttering something. The azure-haired man sat there, staring blankly into space, he was starting to sweat as well.

" Sir, please come to the police station for..." A young policeman spoke, but Ryotaro just gave him his phone, told him that he had to go and check on his... friend, and that he'd come to the police station later on then ran to where Len was.

" Le-... I mean Yuki! How is he?" He asked the doctor.

" Well, he has a dislocated shoulder. We need to take him back to the hospital for better examination."

Ryotaro swallowed then nodded as a sweat rolled down his temple.

* * *

Ryotaro sat there on the uncomfortable metal chair of the hospital looking at Len, who then had a special sling around his left arm. The doctor had relocated the shoulder, but he did specifically said that it'd take about three months for the shoulder to actually be healed.

" Does it hurt?" Ryotaro repeated the question that he had been asking for so many times.

" A bit." Was the answer, the taller man frowned, something was wrong.

" What's on your mind, Len?"

Amber eyes looked up at him, and Ryotaro could not make out what was hidden behind them, such confusing emotions. Len looked away, toward the window, the sun was setting as those last rays beamed down into the room softly.

A breeze blew, gently playing with their hair, and suddenly, Len spoke. " I think I know what my parents might have felt before they died." His voice was low, soft and sad. Ryotaro looked at him, but did not say a word, he knew that this was when silence was necessary.

Len stared straight out of the window, he looked like he was watching the sunset, but his mind was actually scattered. He thought back at the time when the car was just a few meters away from him. He was frozen then suddenly, his life started to flash before his eyes. The faces he did not know, the voices that were getting stranger and colder every he heard them when he was small, Hino, Shuichi- his young son, his parents- how kind and loving they had been, how cold and lonely he felt when it rained, and how painful Ryotaro must have been when he left. Then again, how would Ryotaro feel when Len died? Relieve and happy that he didn't have to take care of Len anymore, or grief and painful? How would Ryotaro live after that? What would he do? What would he thought? Would he find another, perhaps a woman this time around, to live with? To take care of? To be with her through thick and thin? To... love her?

Somehow, Len felt like crying, he thought that Ryotaro should find a woman to love, but he secretly hoped that... But... He couldn't do that, it would be too selfish. But...

Len turned to Ryotaro and looked at him for a long moment before saying, " I thought I would never see you again." With a sad smile.

The other was surprised when he heard what Len said.

" _I think I know what my parents might have felt before they died."_

Ryotaro sighed then reached out his hand, once again carressing Len's cheek. The tan sighed again, Len looked like he was on the verge of tears.

" I know. I thought so, too." Tsuchiura whispered soft words, loud enough for the other to hear, but low enough so that no other could hear. " But, you're here, I'm here. We're all here, so stop worrying, everything will be okay from now. I'll never leave your side. That's a promise."

" Thank you."

* * *

The following week was busy with the police investigation,the pictures Ryotaro had captured, and the visiting from almost everyone.

It was fun, Ryotaro had to say, especially when they decided to stay at his house for a few days. It must have been one of the few accepted crazy ideas of Kazuki again, though it was nice, since it had been a long time since they last gathered at one spot with all the people in the group, and yes, that included Hino. They must have met each other on their ways to his house, contacted each other or something, Ryotaro thought, if not, they wouldn't have come in at once. The whole group, Hino, Shuichi, and even Ryotaro's family was there.

Suddenly, it didn't seem like that much of a good idea anymore. Ryotaro laughed awkwardly as he tried to find things that resembled cups, since he was running short on them. Perhaps tea wasn't the best idea. Well, at least he had enough rooms for everyone. Good thing.

Chattering from the living room could be heard at quite a distance away as Ryotaro pushed the cart of what he called an early tea party because it was nine in the morning, tea section was supposed to be somewhere in the afternoon. At least he thought so, he didn't know for sure.

Len was at the center of attention, but it was pretty surprising that he didn't seem that uncomfortable. Since the day the accident happened, Len wasn't quite the same. Something changed, but Ryotaro could not figure out for sure.

" Tea time!" Ryotaro said loudly as he opened the door.

" What took you so long?" They said in unison.

Ryotaro couldn't bring himself to say that he was trying to find some cups.

* * *

Shuichi fell asleep as Kahoko stroke his hair softly as the others quiet down, speaking with a low voice so that they would not wake the child up. Shouko looked at the child charmingly, being four months along, she really wanted to touch her child like what Kahoko was doing. Keichi held her by the shoulder, whispering soothing words so that his wife would not get too excited. What a man he had become.

" Who's the father of the child, Hino?" Kazuki asked all of the sudden.

Kahoko stopped stroking her son's hair, Ryotaro stopped talking to Kanazawa, and Len froze while trying to take a sip of his tea, eyes suddenly turned cold as he watched.

" I mean, is he Aoi's or of someone else that you married after divorcing him?"

All activities vertually came to a halt, everybody was then listening to the conversation that was suppose to only be between Kazuki and Kahoko. The red head licked her lips, trying to think up some kind of answer, she didn't even know if Len wanted anyone to know about Shuichi or not, and she didn't want to ruin the fragile relationship of Len and Ryotaro.

" Well, Hino?" Kazuki pushed the subject innocently without knowing that he had pushed three people into a tight situation. " Or is it that you..."

_CLANG!_

" Ouch! Oh man, I broke my cup!" Ryotaro shouted, cutting the tense atmosphere that was thickening, and managing to catch everyone's attention. " That's gonna leave a stain." He whined like a child. Speaking about child, the sound of the breaking cup awoke Shuichi as the boy sat up from his mother's lap, rubbing his eyes cutely.

And just like that, the question disappeared from everyone's mind, most of them anyway. Ryotaro excused himself to get some fresh clothes to change into. Closing the door behind him, the tan sighed with a slight frown. That was close. Too close for comfort.

* * *

" Are sure that you want to stay here? I mean, would it trouble you with work and all." Ryotaro asked the group.

" Nah, it's just for a few days, we'll take care of Tsukimori for you in the mean time as well, so don't worry!" Kazuki said enthusiastically.

Later on that afternoon, Ryotaro's family along with Kanazawa left with a promise that they'd return, leaving the youths all to themselves.

Tsuchiura took them all to their rooms, and they were all amazed with the size, decoration and all. The tan smirked inwardly, so it was worth it after all, the house that is. Well, he had to say that this was the reason why he bought such a big house, for friends and family to stay in if they wanted to.

That evening, Ryotaro and Azuma cooked up a pan full of what people called Yangzhou fried rice, and everyone got their fair share of the feast. Len looked at his plate, eye twitching, thinking about how he could get all of that down his stomach. Ryotaro laughed slightly, he did gave Len a little bit more than others', after all, he was too thin to hold, with a little more flesh, Ryotaro would never leave him, not that he had ever anyway.

" Thanks for the food!"

And dinner began, and in the end, Kazuki and Ryotaro were the ones who finished the dish without even a single complaint about how it was too much for them to eat, not that Len or Azuma complained, but they did look like they were. Somehow, they all wondered how could those two eat like that, bottomless stomach perhaps.

Never again, Len thought to himself and so did the rest except for Ryotaro and Kazuki, never again would they let these two, especially Ryotaro, cook.

* * *

Len played with Shuichi in the garden after dinner. He told Shuichi to do whatever he wanted, to say whatever he wanted around Len. And so the boy talked, he chirped about everything, about his friends, school, Kahoko, how his violin lessons were going and all. Len listened and nodded while answering some of the boy's questions with a smile on his lips.

" Len-san." Shuichi called. " Can I ask you something?"

" Of course, you can."

" I asked mother about this before, but she did not answer me. Uhm... but... Do you happen to know who my father is, Len-san?" Len froze, he didn't know what to answer to this sudden question.

" I-... No, I suppose not." The child went quiet as he looked down onto the ground. He had been wondering about this question for a long time, now. Was his father the man with blond hair? If so then... why did he hate him so much, why was it that he didn't look like him, especially when Shuichi was his son as well. But... what if he weren't? What if his father were someone else? Then...

" Len-san?" Shuichi suddenly stood up and went closer to the man that was sitting there. " Len-san... would it... would it be fine if I... if I call you 'father'?"

Len stared for a moment, suddenly, his mouth feel so dry, and he could not will himself to say anything. Not a thing, it was like someone had poured glue down his throat. And all he did for a long moment was just sat there and stare at the child before him with disbelieving eyes.

" I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."

" No!" Len almost shouted as he reached out his good arm and took the boy's hand. " Of course you can. You can call me whatever you want to, Shuichi."

The boy looked like he would explode with pure excitement and happiness that he smiled innocently while blushing like a tomato. He loved Len a lot, the man was so kind to him, just like a father. He went to where Len was and laid his head down into the older man's lap and snuggled close to Len's body, trying to feel the warmth that was radiating from Len. " You're so warm, father."

The azure-haired man gently stroking the boy's hair, feeling the softness underneath his palm. Len could not possibly be any happier, he had been waiting for this day to come since the day he found out that Shuichi was his son. He had been waiting while thinking that it would never come true, but he was wrong this time around. Even though Shuichi thought that Len wasn't truly his father, being called like that by his son's own free will Len was a happy man. One day, one day Len would tell him the truth, about how this person that he called father was in the end, truly his father.

* * *

Ryotaro had secretly observed everything, not that he was eavesdropping or anything, he was going out to have a small check on how the two was doing then planned to come in right away if everything was fine, but their little conversation caught his attention. He was glad that everything was working out, but he'd pretend that he didn't know anything, he guess, no matter how much he wanted to congratulate Len about this.

A while later, Len came back inside after taking Shuichi back to his room. Ryotaro smiled to himself seeing that Len's mood was brighter than ever.

" You looked happy, did something happen?" Ryotaro asked _innocently _with a smile.

" No need for you to pretend, I know you were listening." Came Len's reply which surprised Ryotaro.

" How?"

" You've just washed your hair. The corner where you were standing has some drops of water even when it didn't even rain. The most possible reason to explain is that someone had been eavesdropping."

Ryotaro laughed nervously, sometimes, Len was just too sharp. " Well, I guess I'll just go ahead and congratulate you then."

" Thank you."

Ryotaro walked away, planning to get something to drink as he passed Len by and whispered. " I'll visit you later on, okay?"

Len just looked away, taking the advantage of his long bangs to covered up his blushing cheeks. Ryotaro knew that as he grinned widely, no matter how Len acted most of the time, he could get really cute when he was embarrass about something.

The taller man's grin slowly turned into a smirk as he walked out. Len let out a shaky sigh, asking himself when exactly did Ryotaro turn into such a pervert.

* * *

Len walked down the hallway with a glass of water in his hand, he woke up in the middle of the night feeling thirsty, of course, he didn't wake Ryotaro up when he slipped out, or else, he wouldn't be doing this.

Suddenly, there were footsteps. Not his own, but someone else's. The violinist stood still for a second or two, trying to decipher whether he had imagined that or not, and then he saw a faint shadow of someone. This time, he was sure that wasn't an illusion, so he followed it as steathily as possible. A robber? Or was it buglar?

A buglar, Len decided as he kept on following the shadow while plotting what he'd do to the shadow. The suppose-buglar with long hair (?) stopped before a door and softly knocked on it three times. For a moment there, Len was planning to jump out, but he decided against it, no buglar would have done such, so, in conclusion, this was not a buglar.

The door opened as the light came from the room enlightened the mysterious person's face. And it was... Azuma? Kazuki slowly peered out, looking around, then let the taller man in and closed the door quietly.

Len blinked, okay, maybe it was a good idea to return to his room then. Len did not pry, he was not eavesdropping on anyone, he coincidentally found out about the relationship between Kazuki and Azuma, and he'd keep it as it was, a secret. After all, his and Ryotaro's was a secret as well, if everyone hadn't found out about it already that is.

Len closed the door gently and climbed into bed while being careful enough not to hurt himself even more. Lying down onto the mattress, he let out a small sigh.

" Where have you been?" Came Ryotaro question, Len was a bit surprise.

" Drinking water."

" Why didn't you call me?"

" It was unnecessary."

" If you ever leave again without telling me, I'll lock the door and hide the key away, swallow it if I have to." The taller man said jokingly with a slight chuckle.

" As if."

* * *

Len told Shuichi about some skills that were needed if you want to play the violin well. The boy was thrill and did what he was told as Len watched him. The child's eyes shone with pure determination to try and learn what Len taught, it made the man smiled and loved him even more. Kahoko was prepared, so she brought along Shuichi's violin, she knew that the boy would play and Len would teach. She smiled softly when she looked at them, she knew that Len would be a more suitable person to teach Shuichi, since he did teach her before and it was Shuichi, too.

Ryotaro looked at the scenes, too, having a content smile on his lips. The man noticed that Len was more like himself back when they were still in Seiso Academy as he went on teaching his son. The strict and serious look he had on his face, save for the smile. The man sighed, this couldn't get any better then left the room.

A few days later, the group left. Len looked like he had lost something forever, Ryotaro teased him, at the same time, tried to cheer him up. Eventually, Len was over it and teased the pianist back with something that related to tea and cups.

One or two weeks later, the company that was trying to assassinate Ryotaro, but hit Len instead, was closed down. Ryotaro was satisfied, but at the same time feeling _slightly _sorry for them, they, the two men from before, were kind enough to pull back and let Len escaped with a dislocated shoulder. He turned to look at the violinist that was sitting there reading the book on his lap. Good thing that it was just a dislocated shoulder.

* * *

Two months later, Len was in the hospital and the doctor, after a few minutes of an overall examination, confirmed that he had completely healed. The azure-haired man smiled contently to himself and Ryotaro couldn't be happier. But the doctor warned them that they, especially Len (of course), still had to be careful with the shoulder, it could easily get dislocated again.

That night, after crashing at a sushi shop, Ryotaro lay there, holding Len tightly in his arm. It had been a painfully long time since he last did this, and Ryotaro missed Len's scent a lot. The tan man smiled to himself, he really couldn't ask for more. Holding Len like this was a pleasure itself.

" Stop squeezing before I end up living with another sling for the next three months."

" I know, I know. And you weren't the only one who was suffering, you know. It was hard for me, too."

" You're talking like you're craving for some heated scenes or something." Len joked, but in the end, he regretted saying that after hearing what Ryotaro purred:

" Maybe."

* * *

They decided to pay Shuichi a visit the following week, it had been a while, both Len and Ryotaro missed the boy. This time, Len brought along his golden violin, he'd use it to teach Shuichi, the boy would be happy. And he was right, the boy's eyes glinted with joy when seeing Len's violin case, but, truth to be told, he was mostly happy because Len came to visit him _without_ that awful sling on his left arm.

" Father!" The boy sounded like he was squealing and went to give Len a hug.

And they both started to play their violins as the boy tried to imitate his father's technique without much difficulties, he was, after all, Len's child, so he must have inherited his father's intelligence and talent.

That afternoon, Len took Shuichi out for a walk to buy the boy a jar of sugar-free yogurt. Len smiled when looking at the boy, well, they did say that, 'like father, like son', right?

" Hi, there." Len snapped back to reality when hearing a voice with strange acsent. " Long time no see, Len."

The violinist looked up and stared wide-eyed at the person before him. It was Yuta, the Chinese bastard that... He frowned and looked at the man coldly while holding Shuichi closer to him. A second later he pulled the child's hand as they walked past the man.

" Wait..." That same annoying voice spoke up again, stopping Len. " Can I not have a chat?"

" No."

" Come on." The sly man approached and whispered into Len's ear. " We _are_ special acquaintance to each other, right?" Len breath's hitched inside his throat as he turned around, face still seemingly cold and void of any emotion.

" Look, I do not know you, and neither am I you acquaintance. I do not know why or what you are doing here, but leave me alone."

" Is that your kid?" Yuta asked, smirking. " He looks _delicious_." The same man licked his lips, and that disgusted Len to no end. Seeing that dangerous look on Len's face, Yuta chuckled wickedly. " He'll be worth while when he grows up. But, now, just you is enough. And don't try to do anything stupid like running away or something. My men are here and they are ready to pay your family a visit, a _very_ friendly visit."

Len bit his lips, he didn't believe that Yuta was telling the truth about his men, but when he looked around, he saw that some men stopped and looked at them with careful and warning eyes, not with curiousity.

Damn it!

He cursed under his breath. Thinking about it for a moment or two, Len bent down and held his son's by the shoulders. " Listen, Shuichi. I have to go for a while. Can you go back home alone?"

The boy nodded while blinking innocently, " Where are you going, father?"

" I-... I don't know."

" Will you be home for dinner?" Len swallowed, his eyes were beginning to feel sting.

" I don't know, Shuichi." He breathed in, trying to calm himself down. " You should get going. Be safe, okay?"

The boy was hesitated when he saw that his father's eyes were glinting with something that seemed like tears, but he listened to the man and went home, sometimes turning back to look at his father before disappearing around the corner.

Len stood up, he took in a shaky breath, after calming himself down, he turned around to face his nightmare. " I will come on one condition. You will not harm anyone that are related to me in any way, including friends." He spoke monotonously as he tried to control himself.

" Of course, anything for you, my dear. Now... come with me. This night will be quite unforgettable."

" Wait. You throw me out before, why suddenly becomes so interested now?" The sly snaked looked at his prey hungrily, this was the reason why Yuta did not like smart people, they asked too much. But it was good question nonetheless, why would he be interested now, after three long years?

" _Well, it's a secret..."_

_[To be continued...]

* * *

_

_**A/N:**_ How was it? Please review, thank you. And see you later, and this time sooner, since I'm on a short vacation.


	20. Blood and Vow

_**Chapter 20:**_ Blood and Vow

* * *

Len walked down the street with Yuta behind him following like a stray puppy, the violinist thought, trying to amuse himself as to not think of the upcoming event. Sometimes, people couldn't help but to think of the worst situation, in this case, Len thought that whatever was on his mind would, more or less, come true.

He sighed again, but at least the others would not get involve, let's hope that Ryotaro would not come looking so that Len could slip away from the man peacefully after this. And Shuichi? Well, he'd drop by to visit from time to time, until he couldn't do so anymore.

Liar.

Len smirked to himself. What a troublesome mind. Everything was as messed up as they could and his mind was conflicting each other. Great, just great. Somehow, he got a feeling that after this, he'd need to consult Kishimoto about more than just physical problem.

For what seemed like the hundred time that day, the violinist once again sighed. It was so strange that he felt this calm, considering the situation. He was feeling calmer than ever, truth to be told. He wondered why...

Who cares...

" What are you chuckling about, deary?" Yuta's annoying voice spoke up, making Len's eyebrows furrowed. Oh, how he detested that voice.

" Nothing. Just some _amusing_ thoughts." Suddenly, something came across his mind. " Hey, are you going to rape me again?" He asked with a smirk on his lips.

" I wonder..."

* * *

Ryotaro went in a frenzy search for Len after hearing everything from a worried and scared Shuichi. He contacted everyone and asked them, if they could then go and help him search for Len. At this time, the police was useless, they didn't accept Ryotaro's request to search for Len, saying something about maybe he was hanging out with his friends.

Damn.

The tan cursed under his breath. Whoever did this will pay!

* * *

" Now, now." Yuta smirked wickedly as he used his fingers and lifted Len's face up. " Tell me where is he hiding his secret files."

Len was dripping wet, well, he had been splashed with buckets and buckets of hot and cold water for the last three hours. He panted, he was getting sick with the frequent change of temperature, hot and cold, hot and cold, and his mind was like on and off, on and off as well.

" Secret files?" Len said hazily. " What secret files?"

" He's lying! He's always next to the president, he must know where the president is hiding his files!" A voice of a woman rang from within the dark space. The voice sounded terribly familiar to Len's ears, he might recognize whose that voice belong to if he had been in the right state of mind, but he wasn't. Therefore, the voice oozed inside his brain then disappeared as he fell unconscious.

* * *

Ryotaro kept on cursing himself as he returned to Kahoko's house after hours of searching. He knew that he shouldn't have left Len went off on his own with only his son by his side like that! Then again, what could he have done if he had been there? The tan man asked himself, he knew that he was going to protect Len, but would he leave if Len had asked? What would he have done if he had been with Len?

He frowned and bit his lip frustratedly, damn it! Walking into the house as he went into the living room, the worried expression that all of the people in there had didn't help his mood that much. But nonetheless, he still had to thank them all for helping him, they all ditched their work and went to search for Len. Even the newspaper-delivery boy that he saw the other day offered a helping hand as well.

" Did you find anything, Ryotaro?" Kahoko asked worriedly, she knew that if he had found something, he wouldn't have been there, but she asked anyway, just for the sake of asking.

And all she received was a shake as the man slumped down onto a nearby chair, letting out a frustrated sigh as horrible thoughts about what had been done to Len while he sat here clouded his mind.

" Don't worry, Tsuchiura." He looked up to see Kanazawa, his former teacher, when feeling the man's hand on his shoulder. " We'll find him. With this many people, we can find him if we try our best."

" Yeah, what he said!" Kazuki shouted as he grinned widely, for the sake of ensuring his friend.

" That's right. No need to be sad, bro. We can do this."

" Yes. I know that we can find my father!" Shuichi went to where Ryotaro was, smiling up at him. This was the first time that the child smiled directly at him, so it was pretty surprising.

Hearing the words did cheer Ryotaro up, even just for a little bit, he felt like he had been pumped with enough hope and energy to keep going.

" Thanks, everyone." The man stroke the soft deep-blue hair of the child that was much like his father's. " I appreciate it."

He then stood up, stretching out for a little bit to refresh himself. " Let's get going!"

* * *

Len immune system was not that great, so after being splashed with hot and cold water continuously, blown dry with three full-speed (big size) fans, and sat among steamy buckets of water to sweat till dehydration, then being injected with something that made it hard for him to think clearly; he was already having a slight fever along with coughing fits here and there.

The man gasped for air to fill his burning, screaming lungs after another fit of coughing. Sweats rolled down from his forehead as his half-lidded golden eyes looked around wearily. God, how he wanted to sleep.

" He... not... telling!" The sound of someone shouting sounded so incomprehensible to his ears. " You said... he tell... Takeshino!"

So they were fighting among themselves. His brain registered, then slowly, it came to him, Takeshino? Was it him or was that name sounded like the name of Ryotaro's secretary? Well, it wasn't like she was the only one who named Takeshino... then again, how did the woman in the dark from before knew that he was always beside Ryotaro? And how did those men in that black car that intended to hit Ryotaro from before knew that they were going out to lunch then to do such? Did they wait? Or... did someone tell them?

Suddenly, he remembered the intense glare that the secretary tended to give him everytime she went by, glares that were filled with hatred and jealousy. And that woman in the dark called Ryotaro 'president' as well, could someone that want to obtain the company's secret files called their enemy with such respect?

Len chuckled to himself then laughed loudly. Oh, Ryotaro, you could never guess that it was your own secretary who betrayed you.

" What're you laughing about you stupid bag of shit?" Yuta shouted angrily as he went to the chair where Len was tied up to.

" Well, you did rape this stupid bag of shit before. What does that make you?" The Chinese punched him the face, making him fall down onto the concrete floor along with the wooden chair. The sticky liquid that is called blood flowed out from the corner of Len's mouth.

Nonetheless, Len still laughed, his laughter echoed throughout the dark space, the kind of laugh that sent chill up people's spines.

* * *

Ryotaro rang the bell of a house, it was nine in the evening, he knew that this was not the best thing to do to people, but he had no other choice. He had followed the direction where Shu-chan ( as Hihara had called him ) said Len and the strange people headed to, now he had no idea how many houses he had asked about Len, he had lost count.

A woman with a tired and somewhat annoyed expression on her face came to answer the door.

" What is it that you want?" She asked politely, but sounded nowhere near it.

" I'm sorry to trouble you, ma'am, but I'm looking for my friend. He is a little shorter than I am, pale, azure hair and he was wearing a white button down shirt and blue jeans. Have you seen him walked by this afternoon with maybe a group of people?"

" Well... I can't remember exactly, many people passed by my house..."

" Please, ma'am, try to remember because my friend can be in serious danger at the moment. I've got to find him!"

The woman was surprised by the determination that the boy before had in his voice. She sighed and smiled, maybe youngsters these days are not so boring, playing around all day, after all. Then it came to her...

" Oh, I remembered!" Ryotaro practically grinned when he heard that. " This afternoon when I was sweeping the garden, I saw a group of people passed by, they were so serious that it was hard not to pay attention to them. And person you described was indeed one of them."

" Then, by any chance... did you see where they were heading to?"

" They go straight then turned left right there..." She showed him the direction. " And I did overhear them saying something about the harbor."

" Thank you! Thank you so much! I will return the favor later, ma'am. I appreciate your help."

With that Ryotaro ran off, and the woman once again smiled. " You don't have to, glad that I can help, and good luck to you!" She said, hoping that the boy would hear what she said, he left too quickly.

The tan man called his friends, saying that he had finally found some clues about where Len might be. All of them once again, gathered at Kahoko's house, after some researching, they found out that one of the storage house was hired by a man named Yuta Zouhou, a Chinese. And it stroke Ryotaro like a thunder, he remembered what Shishi told him not long ago about how Len was raped by this man. Blood boiling, Ryotaro once again dialed Shishi's number.

The man answered, he was about to fool around as usual, but after hearing the tan man's angry voice, he decided against it. Looking quickly over some old and new files, Shishi called Ryotaro back. And this time, Ryotaro turned on the loud speaker, after making sure that Shu-chan was asleep in his room.

" Yuta Zouhou, he is a Chinese who had immegrated to Japan ten years, ago. He worked for small companies at first as a technician, then after a while, he got bored and switched to hacking. The Shang Corp. took an advantage of this and employed him with high salary. With moneys in pockets, he started to use drugs, drink and hang with some prostitutes at the red-light district. Then he met your dear friend here, Yuki or Len or something, and... you know. Old story, right? Then years later you got his company went bankrupt. That's the whole story when he came to Japan that is."

The whole room was quiet, Ryotaro picked the phone up from the table, whispering a goodbye along with the promise of paying back later then hung up. Even so, no one spoke, not even the loudest person in the group dared to open his lips and utter a single word.

Ryotaro's hands clenched tightly, shaking slightly as he tried to control his overwhelming anger that was boiling up inside of him. He should have known. He should have known that Shang's people would follow and try to do something in order to get revenge, money! And it was hard for them to get their hands on Ryotaro because if they had done so, they would have been suspected right away. So they went for Len! And that filthy trash dared to lay his hands on Len again!...

The others were worried, Ryotaro was shaking up pretty badly, and he was biting his lip so hard that it bled... Maybe they should...

Suddenly, Ryotaro looked up, eyes snapped opened as he stared at the wall before him as if he had just awoken from a dream. Then he turned around to face them, golden eyes burned with will and determination.

" Let's make a proper plan then we'll go and save Len."

" YOSH!"

* * *

" Are you trying to torture me to death?" Len asked after being whipped for a few times, his vision was blurry, the fever was somewhere at its peak, sweats rolled down his forehead more and more, yet that freaking smirk was still on his lips.

" Not until you tell us where that rat hides his secret files?" Yuta was getting impatient, it had been hours, and he hadn't received any answer.

" Really... No matter how you try, I won't tell you even if I knew where it is." The violinist spoke with a serious tone. " I will not betray the one who hired me... unlike somebody." He was mocking, yes, mocking the woman that had enough guts and heart to betray Ryotaro, even when he trusted her so much.

" He's trying to buy time. Just hit him, drug him, torture him or something, I don't know! He'll spill it out eventually!" Said person said angrily, suddenly, Len laughed.

" Time cannot be bought, miss." Len joked even in his delicate circumstance. " But I do suggest that you should know your place, or else, all Hell will break loose." The violinist shot her a look that was much similar to the one that Ryotaro always used, and it was to never fail his trust. He knew that she would understand this look, she had been working with Ryotaro for years.

The woman swallowed thickly, she didn't understand how he could work out who she was and even sending her that look when he had been drugged. She felt like shuddering, never before had she felt this kind of fear. Of course she was planning to lend these people a hand in taking information and disposing of Len afterwards then walked away peacefully after taking no money whatsoever from them and getting rid of them from her life. In her opinion, it was a flawless plan, no one will know, not if these people didn't say a word about anything. Then she could take her time with the president...

However, somehow, looking at this person then made her feel like she was going to lose this gamble, and she would have to pay everything back, big time.

She let out shaky breath, eyes still gluing on Len as she watched the man darted his eyes around as if he had been investigating, trying to remember all of the faces, the number of people in this warehouse. But he was drugged, she convinced herself. Nothing bad would happen, she really wanted to give him another shot, but decided against it, it'd knock him out, and that would be no good to them.

Finally tearing her eyes away from the tied man, she was about to walk away when her ears picked up what he was whispering. " Remember your vow..."

Shoving her hands into her coat, she walked away while bitting her lips, she needed to get far away from him if she wanted to get everything done without slapping for him a few times. The man was talking too much, too much to her dismay.

" That vow was a long time ago." Again, she convinced herself as the heels of her shoes echoed in the almost empty dark space.

* * *

Ryotaro had set up the plan with the others after making sure that they were not being eavesdropped by anyone. It was planned that he would go in there and confront Yuta and his men after they had called the police, stating that they would have to wait until Ryotaro gave the signal for them to charge, and during that time they would evacuate all the people in other warehouses to safety. Since the hired warehouse was the furthest and the last one in the harbor, it would be easy for the police to cover.

The gang insisted of going with him, but he smiled assuringly and said that he had to go in there alone for Len's sake.

After calling the police, again somewhere around two in the morning, they finally agreed to help and accepted the given conditions as well after negotiating carefully. Ryotaro went to his car and slipped into the driver seat with much ease as the rest gathered around the car.

" Take care, okay?" Kahoko said with a worried frown.

" Yeah. We'll be right behind you, pal!" Kazuki tried to be cheerful to lift up the mood as much as possible as he smiled forcefully.

Ryotaro nodded then gave them all the last wave and drove away. Driving slowly and steadily as the tan man prepared himself for what would come next. He reached out one hand and opened the cabinet and looked underneath the map and other junks to draw out a gun. It was the second time he had ever held it in his hand, not since the day he bought it as a defensive tool. There was still one left in there, but he didn't need to take it out then. If it was about Len, then he would risk his life to get him out of there no matter what it takes. He had failed to protect the violinist more than enough, so he had to succeed this time.

* * *

Ryotaro slipped the lucky lighter that his father gave him into his pocket then stopped the car a few feet away from the warehouse, knowing that they were watching from behind the gap of the doors. The tan stepped out of the car then walked steadily towards the warehouse, he wasn't afraid.

Opening the steel doors, Ryotaro went in and was immediately greeted with the smell of smoke and booze. His expression darkened, big mistake.

" Welcome." Came Yuta's voice as the Chinese stepped out from the dark, Ryotaro frowned irritatedly, he could recognize this rat anywhere even in this poor state of light. There was a sound of snapping fingers as two of his henchmen went out, about to check his body for any weapon.

" Touch me, and you'll never see what you're looking for." The tan threatened as the other two stopped, looking at their leader. The Chinese was frowning, clearly unhappy with the answer, but then, he put on another sly smile.

" Do what we tell you, or else, we'll hurt your little friend, dear President." Ryotato did not like the way this rat was using Len as his shield, but he didn't show any emotion just to keep things going his way.

" Yes. But if I decide not to tell any of you about where I hide my files, he will be your last chance. And I do not think that there will be anyone aside from him and I that knows about that."

This time Yuta kept his mouth shut. Ryotaro was using his own shield against him, this man really was something, Yuta thought to himself, whether he was just lying or not. He led Ryotaro into the warehouse then the rusty metal doors behind them closed, and the tan man found himself cloaked with darkness. He frowned, trying to adjust his sight with the new environment. Then, his ears picked something up, it sounded like a soft hum... But it echoed within the closed space, so Ryotaro couldn't actually confirm where he heard it coming from. He kept quiet anyway, if he lose his cool then, everything would be ruined.

A sound of flicking fingers echoed then the light was turned on, a small light bulb to be exact. The Chinese offered a seat as both sat down onto the chairs. Ryotaro looked around again with the same impassive expression.

" Your friend is safe, don't worry." Yuta said, smirking. The frown on the tan man's face deepened.

" Perhaps." He didn't trust the one who had abducted Len. " Bring him here first then I'll consider the options."

" I don't think that-..."

" Bring him here, or you'll never see what you want." Ryotaro cut the other off once more, giving the Chinese a hard stare.

Said man signaled the others and not long after Ryotaro got what he wanted. He hated how every sound echoes in this place, the way it smelled, the sound of footsteps and something being dragged on the floor. He absolutely despised the way those people threw Len over to the empty space between Yuta and himself.

His eyes widened. Len was lying there, water dripping from him as the slim figure shivered, cheeks flushed, shallow gasps and dull eyes. He immediately leapt down from his chair to where the violinist was, he held Len up, one hand gently patting the cold, yet flushed cheek.

" Hey, wake up. Len!" As though he had just woken up from a deep slumber, Len stirred slightly, another shiver ran up his spine as he fluttered his eyes opened.

" Took you long enough..." Pale lips whispered as he tried to force a smile, Ryotaro was so glad that Len responded to his call, but his heart clenched at the same time. Len's dim eyes were unfocused as they tried their best to concentrate and look at Ryotaro. The heat and sweat indicated that he was burning up as well.

Suddenly, Len reached out and hugged Ryotaro tightly around the neck, closing the space between his pale and cold lips with the tan man's ear.

" On the ground, one on each side. Same on the balcony. Two at the door, one at the corner. All armed." The pale whispered, just loud enough so that only Ryotaro could hear. " Takeshino is here as well." He gasped, in and out with shallow and uneven breaths. " Save me, please. I beg of you, I can't take this anymore." This time, Len said outloud. He could practically 'smell' Yuta's sly smirk in the air. " Just tell them where the secret files are already!"

Ryotaro looked at Len then back at the Chinese. Oh well, here goes nothing. " Okay. I have it right here in my cell." The tan reached his hand into his coat with wary eyes burning holes on his body, following each of his mood as he took the device out. " Here. I'll give you this if you swear that you will not harm us after this." The tan looked at the other expectingly, he knew that the man would not keep his words, he knew that someone was right behind him, trying to kill him after he had told them everything. One of the oldest and dirtiest trick in the book. And they thought that they could fool him.

" Of course."

The pianist looked at the Chinese for a little bit then nodded. " Okay. I'll give you it and you let us go right away."

Ryotaro was about to throw his cell down on the ground with enough force that would certainly break the small thing then took his gun out, but someone got the better of him.

_BANG!_

The sound of the gun shot resonated in the confined space, blood flowed out from between the eyes as the man that was just right behind Ryotaro fell down onto the ground.

" Takeshino! What the hell are doing, bitch?" Yuta yelled at the woman whose gun was still right there in her hands, smoke rising from the rifle barrel. She looked deadly serious.

" _This is me keeping my vow."_

_[To be continued...]_

* * *

_**A/N:**_ Hey! Long time no see! I have been away for so long that I forgot how excited it was to post a chapter and wait for the reviews, if there is still anyone reading this story. Haha, I was finished with this one about a few months ago ( I'm not lying ), but I get caught up with preparing and taking my finals that I didn't get the chance to post it. Sorry. Anyways, READ and REVIEW, please! I'm eager to hear what you have to say.

Oh, and as for the next update, it'll be somewhere around next week I think. See you until then!


	21. From Night

_**Chapter 21:**_ Night

* * *

When I graduated from college, it was hard for me to find a job because of my background. My father went to prison when I was in high school for dealing drugs and illegal weapons. After that, my mother married someone else and left me in the care of my grandmother and never contacted again. From then on I was shun by everyone, even my bestfriend avoided me, fearing that I would turn out to be as bad as my father or mother was.

So even though my record was fine and all, I couldn't find a place where they would look at what I had achieved instead of what my father had. Every day was the same as I dragged myself through the crowded streets, not knowing where to go. In the end, I moved out of my grandmother's house so as to not worried her anymore with my current situation.

It was an endless search until one day, I fell down onto the ground due to the stress or something, I guessed it had been too much for me back then. I thought I was going to die there on that cold and hard bridge... Who would even care, right? I mean, not since the day my once comforting family fell apart.

But you came along. Tsuchiura Ryotaro...

Back then, I thought you were going to ignore the dying body on the ground just like what other people did, but you didn't. You actually stopped and looked at me, eyes shone with concern.

" _Are you alright, miss?"_ Was what you said when you bent down next to me. God, how long had it been since the last time I heard those caring words from someone aside from my family? I didn't have a good look at your face then because there were tears in my eyes, and one more small detail was that my glasses were broken. _" Where do you live? Tell me and I can take you home."_

I wanted to say something, but my mouth opened and nothing came out. I didn't exactly know what was it that I wanted to say.

Then I felt like I was being lifted, and when I opened my eyes again, I was right there in your arms. And everything felt so warm and comfortable. The feeling was so good that I would like to drown in it forever.

After that, after that, you took me back to my apartment. You cooked me some soup, talked to me, cracked jokes to make me laugh... It was as though we had known each other since long ago, even though we only met for only about two hours.

We gave each other our numbers. I didn't know why I could do that so freely, I mean, you can't trust someone that you had only met for a few hours and gave them your number right away, right? Especially when he knew where your house was as well. But somehow, I've got a feeling since then that you were a good person... and I was right all along.

Each week, you'd call to check on me at 8 in the evening on Saturday, we talked about random things, but it was fun. I started to think that I was falling in love with you.

The day you called me and asked me to be your secretary, I was surprised, so surprised that you would let someone with a background like me to work for you because I was sure that you had read everything in my files.

From that point on, I was deeply in love with you.

You gave me a test, for the love of God, I did it with all my being just because I wanted to be with you, I wouldn't let anyone else take this chance away.

" _Congratulation! You passed, not because you and I are accquaintance, alright?"_ You said with a smile on your lips.

You always smiled, but behind those eyes, I could see the sadness was building up. What or rather who had made you this sad? I wished I had had the guts to ask, but I didn't.

" _Okay. Here's the deal. You're going to read this contract, if you agree with all the terms in there, sign it."_

I read, but the words didn't actually get into my head, I knew that I would agree with everything, as long as I could be beside you. And I signed it, and once again, you smiled.

" _One more thing before we can actually seal the contract."_ Then you turned serious all of the sudden, looking straight into my eyes, looking straight into my soul. _" Swear to me that you will be loyal to me as long as you're still working for me. Swear that you will never betray me, swear it."_

I looked at you, slightly shakened because that had been the first time you have been like that in front of me. I swallowed thickly, regained my composer and nodded.

" You can give me your trust."

* * *

As soon as Ryotaro snapped out from his moment of shock, he immediately took out the hidden gun and shot. Three guys fell down, still alive, he didn't want to dirty his hands by killing them, besides, having them in jail was a better solution rather than having them dead, they needed to suffer for hurting Len.

Ryotaro took Len to a far corner, somewhere that was a little safer and bent down. " You and Takeshino go outside and tell the police to wrap this up, okay? I'll hold them back." Then left before the other could say anything else.

Len frowned, feeling somewhat angry and insulted. He wasn't someone to be ordered around, even if he was running a fever, even if he was Ryotaro's assistant in the company...

Takeshino was thrown over to the metal wall, the loud sound echoed throughout the space, hurting Len's ears. The woman was scared, but she raised her gun up and pulled the trigger... yet nothing came out. She was out of bullet, all because of those guys on the balcony. Damn.

She cursed under her breath then started to inch closer to the cold and rusty metal wall as the tall henchman moved closer. " I'm gonna have fun with you." He said then licked his lips in a disgusting way.

Takeshino squeezed her eyes shut, the next thing she heard was another loud sound, ringing in her ears.

" Not today you don't." She opened her eyes and saw the body of the tall henchman lying there, seemingly dead. And there stood the very same man who stole the love of her life away, hand holding a long metal bar.

His clothing was splashed with blood, the red and sticky liquid dripped down droplet by droplet onto the ground from the bar. It scared her how cold he looked, the way that his eyes looked at the body that he had almost killed without so much of an emotion. Was this the same person that seemed so weak and helpless just a moment ago? Takeshino shivered, she wasn't even this scared when she shook hand with Yuta, sealing their contract.

Len walked to where she was and bent down. " If you want your beloved to survive then listen and do what I tell you to." She nodded, it was as though _he_ was the master mind behind all of this, not her, not Yuta. " Get out of here as fast as you can and tell police to come. Hurry up."

Then he was up, giving her the last cold, spine-chilling look before turning away to come and aid Ryotaro. Takeshino slowly stood up, trying to draw out the final conclusion as quick as she could. She didn't like confronting the police, not now, but...

" What the hell are you still doing here?" Ryotaro yelled as he tried to fight those persistent guys that seemed as though they wouldn't like to lie down or something.

" Helping you of course." Was Len's reply.

Okay, she opened the door to the warehouse and started running. She didn't want to lose the fight for Ryotaro's love, not even when she had already known how everything would turn out, and she certainly didn't want to go out there and get arrested. However, she didn't want to lose the one person she had treasured the most either.

So she ran, ran like it was her first time doing it.

* * *

" What the hell, Len? I told you to run with Takeshino while I'm holding them back!" Ryotaro literally shouted.

" And you think you can do this alone?" Len rolled his eyes, looking quite irritated. " You're more stupid than I thought..."

" What did you say?"

" Duck."

Len's arm had reached out and pulled Ryotaro down just right before a bullet flew past. That was close, it could have ended up in Ryotaro's forehead if he hadn't been pulled down. The tan turned to stare at his lover, eyes wide, and he thought that Len was having a fever.

" Alright, I'll trust you, like I always do." The tan's eyes were glittering with confidence and an equally confident smile was returned to him.

* * *

A while later, Len was panting, he was dizzy and the nausea was overwhelming as he dropped the metal bar in his hand down onto the ground and fell down with it all together. He could hear the sound of Ryotaro's shouting, but it was fading away fast in his numb mind. And for the first time after meeting up with Ryotaro again, he couldn't move his body because it was aching all over. The violinist tried to fight it, but he couldn't move a single muscle, and it made him feel very useless. It was as though he forgot that he was like that because someone drugged him.

The loud sound of the police siren rang thorough the whole dark space. The police was right outside that rusty metal door. He frowned unconsciously, but it slowly turned to a soft smile. They were there, which meant that Takeshino did just what he told her to... Ryotaro wouldn't be on his own then. That was a great relief.

He turned his eyes back to look at Ryotaro who was busy trying to get Yuta off of him. His golden eyes looked, that Chinese bastard sure was really persistent, then suddenly, those eyes widened when he saw a shadow hovering just right before his vision, holding the metal bar that Len had been holding from before.

* * *

Damn.

Ryotaro cursed under his breath as he tried to fight off Yuta, who just plunged himself at the pianist. His hands were grabbing everything he could, and Ryotaro didn't plan on getting any closer to this guy, fearing that somehow a dagger would appear from underneath that jacket and end up in his chest. He didn't want to die, not now, not this early anyway.

Suddenly, he looked at the ground when he saw a shadow moving on the floor. And there was another shadow appear that resembled something long, really long. And there was that senister look in Yuta's eyes that just appeared out of nowhere. His eyes widened as he quickly turned around to find that the one of the Chinese's henchmen was standing there, one that he thought was out cold, and was ready to swing that metal bar to his head. He could have moved away, but with Yuta holding him back like this, there was no way he could get out in time.

Then suddenly, all he could see was blue, the blue shade of Len's hair. The pale color of that of the violinist's neck.

The sickening sound of metal crushing against bones as it made a loud 'crack', and, suddenly, the door being busted opened as police poured in. And there he saw Kahoko, then she screamed.

After that, all he could see was crimson and some kind liquid splashed to his face as it dripped down his skin, hot and sticky.

And slowly, Ryotaro's eyes widened when everything was clouded and all that he could see was the fact that Len was falling to the ground and there was blood... blood was flowing out from a big gash on his head and it was starting to flow all over the floor.

" LEN!"

Gun shots were heard as the police took down the man who held the bloody metal bar in his hands.

The violinist's body touched the ground with a 'thud' then came Ryotaro and his loud shout, calling Len's name. He got a hold of Len and put him on his lap as he looked at his lover, hands tightening. His pale skin then was dripping wet with that crimson liquid as it kept on flowing down onto the ground, quickly soaking the white button down shirt, Ryotaro's hands and sleeves. His eyes were half-lidded with a clouded look in them, his was opened, but he wasn't actually conscious. And Ryotaro felt cold when he couldn't feel the other's breathing.

The pianist own breathing quickened as he looked at Len, expression twisted and there was a pain in his chest like someone was grabbing his heart, squeezing it tightly. It was hard to breathe and even more unbearable to look at this... mess.

" Len. Wake up, L-len." He called and started to shake the pale form in his arms that was getting paler than ever before. " W-why the hell did you do that for? Why do you al-lways want to the center of the attention?" He yelled and shook harder. " Please, wake up! Wake up and look me in the eyes Len! Wake the hell up! LEN!"

The medics rushed in as they hustled over to where the couple was and tried to get to Len, it was hard, considering the fact that Ryotaro was holding the frail body very strongly and the yelling, shouting that the tan gave when those nurses and doctors tried to take Len away. He freaked out as hot tears rolled down his blood-stained cheeks, the man was in both shock and denial. His mind was all messed up, he didn't know what happened or what was actually going. The only thing that made sense to him then was that Len was being taken away by some unknown people, and he had to protect Len.

His friends ran over as they tried to stop him from going beserk over the doctors that were trying to save Len.

" Aaaaahhhhh!" The pianist yelled at the top of his lungs and tried to get out of his friends' grasps, tears flowing out of his eyes as he reached out his hand. And he slowly, painfully realized that they were just trying to help Len as Ryotaro sank down on his knees and used his hands to hold his forehead, yanking his hair out shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

" Hey, calm down, man. It's okay don't worry."

" Everything's going to be fine. Len will be fine, they'll take of him."

" Yeah, just breath and relax. They've got everything covered."

All of those words oozed inside Ryotaro's mind as they blended together and disappeared because the pianist knew that those words were lies, lies that were trying to cover the truth. He knew that everything would never be fine, not with that big gash on Len's head, not the kind of blood volume that flowed out from that wound; and that dead, haunting eyes... No, never.

What should he do? What the hell should he do to make things right?

His breathing ragged as he stood up, swaying a little bit but managed to go where the ambulance was. They were hooking Len to machines that they had as well as trying to stop the bleeding. The doctors yelled, and even in that small space everything was chaotic.

" We need to get him to the hospital!" Someone shouted and immediately they all agreed. Ryotaro asked them if he could come along, being Len's closest person and they were off seconds later with Ryotaro inside, sitting next to Len.

The doctors were trying their best to save Len, but Ryotaro wasn't deaf, he could hear the beeping sound of Len's heart beat through the machine, and it wasn't good. Looking at how fast and hard it was for the violinist to breathe, the tan knew that the inevitable was coming, fast.

" The wound is too big, he's still bleeding a lot!"

" Get me more bandages!"

He took hold of Len's hand only to feel that the heat was escaping as he squeezed it even more tightly while praying for some kind of miracle to happen, praying that Kami wouldn't let him down and that he'd somehow help Len get through this. Sweats rolled down his tear-stained cheeks as he bit his lip.

Then suddenly, the yelling stopped as he looked up to see one of the doctor looking back at him. They were silent and the moment when that person in white shook his head, Ryotaro felt as though his heart had skipped a beat as he looked back at Len instantly, feeling the beating chamber inside his chest throbbed, and the tears were welling up again.

Len, who then was conscious, slowly turned his head over to look at Ryotaro and smiled softly as his pale arm reached up and weakly pulled the breathing mask down and started whispering something so low that there was only one person could hear it.

" Stop the car!" Ryotaro shouted all of the sudden, startling the medical team.

" But..."

" Just stop the car!" He shouted angrily. " There's nothing else that you can do, so there's no point taking him to the hospital!"

Once again, all of them were quiet as they looked at each other, murmuring something then finally nodded. Ryotaro started to unhook all of the wires that were attached to Len and carefully picked him up in his hands and got out right after the doors were opened and started running.

The pianist ran as fast as he could to reach the required destination while checking up on Len constantly, making sure that he was still there. And every time he looked down, he saw those worn out golden eyes looked back at him, smiling warmly with those blood-stained lips. It twisted the tan's heart to see him this weak, this vulnerable, this scenario was wrong, so wrong, but Ryotaro didn't know how to make it right. So he kept running, kept on running and tried not to trip over himself or anything else for that matter until he could hear the beating waves not that far away.

The cool winds that bore the salty smell of the sea rushed over him and they were there, they reached the park that was next to the beach. The place was empty, nobody was there mainly because it was somewhere around five in the morning...

Len lifted his hand up and pointed at the bench over at the metal rail where it got the best view over to the sea. Ryotaro set his lover down gently on the cold bench while panting, then sat down himself, putting Len's bandage-covered head that was onto his lap, providing as much comfort as he could.

" Sorry to drag you out here." Len whispered, his voice was rough and hoarsed, eyes still looking softly at Ryotaro.

The other shook his head. " No, anything for you, Len." And Len's smile widened a little more as another cooling breeze blew, playing with their hair.

" This is where it all started, and this shall be where everything ends as well." The violinist said as he averted his gaze over to the calm sea as the memories of that day when Hino broke up with him faintly flashed back before they faded away again.

Ryotaro didn't say anything, he couldn't reply because there was nothing else for him to speak about the matter. Everything had gotten out of hand, way out of hand, and he couldn't do anything to stop it. Nothing. He didn't even have the power to stop the crimson, warm and sticky blood that was slowly soaking the white bandages. He bit his lips hard, trying to fight against he tears that were threatening to fall, trying to swallow the lump in his throat that was getting bigger and bigger.

In the end, he settled back to holding Len's smaller hand again, trying his best to share everything he had got to the other through his hand, time was slipping away too fast.

" Hey, if people were ever to ask about the relationship between you and I," Ryotaro managed to speak, fingers rubbing against Len's cold skin to create heat as he forced himself to say the words and continued. " can I tell them that you and I are lovers?" He asked, doing his best to smile and looked at Len sadly, expecting an answer.

" Why not? Anything you want, since it's already too obvious."

And they both started to chuckle because of how weird what they had said, considering the circumstance they were in. But it ceased when Len started to cough.

" Are you okay?" Ryotaro asked worriedly, feeling very much alarmed when he saw the blood that was coming out from the corner of the other's mouth because he understood how delicate the situation was even though he knew that the question was unnecessary. Len looked like he was going to die any second then, and that was the truth, the truth that Ryotaro didn't want to believe. And slowly, he received a nod as Len tried to calm himself down while gasping for air.

The tan once again swallowed, feeling the blood was starting to seep through the bandages and get to his pants, the fear of losing his beloved was overwhelming inside of him as his hand came up to hold Len's cheek and began to caress it. " Don't die... I don't you to go... please, don't leave me, Len." The tears that he had been holding back were gathering again, blurring the image of the one person he loved so much. " I-I love you."

Len let out a soft sighed. " I know, but-..."

" I promised to always be there for you, always there when you need me no matter what! How will I suppose to do that if you go somewhere I can't follow?" It was all too much, another single drop to the already full cup as the droplets of tears fell and touch Len's pale skin softly as they dripped down. The violinist could feel the hot, burning sensation that was welling up inside Ryotaro's heart dancing on his skind, and could almost taste the saltiness of the tears. However, this was something that he had no control over. He wanted to, but he just... couldn't.

" Ryotaro..." He rasped out tiredly, life was escaping out of this painful cell of his that was called body. " You have to understand, i-it's... not like I want to go. I don't want to leave you, but... this is it. There is nothing that you or I can do to stop it. You know it yourself, right, Ryotaro?"

The sobbing that came from the man before his eyes filled Len's ears, and he had never liked this unpleasant sound. It hurt more than any other physical injuries, especially in this kind of situation. And the guilt that wasn't supposed to be there started to build up.

" Shh..." Len hushed as he reached his out his shaking hand to touch the tan skin as his fingers gently brushed the tears away from Ryotaro's eye. " Please stop crying... you're making this even harder than it is supposed to be."

" I know! I know, Len... I'm not stupid..." The pianist was trying his best to control the burning feeling that was bursting in his chest. " What am I going to do with you gone, Len? I-I can't..."

" Live the way you had lived before I invaded your life. And I know that you're able to do it. I don't play an eccentric part in your life, Ryotaro. And what you do is up to you to decide, I have nothing to do with that. So stop crying."

Ryotaro was surprised by the calmness that was in Len's voice, especially then. He couldn't believe how calm Len was even when he was about to die. It was as though the violinist had expected this to happen, like he had anticipated to die. Suddenly, the tan's hand reached up and took Len's into his own as he brought it to his lips and kissed the pale knuckles while trying to stop the tears streaming down his face as he squeezed them shut. He was holding Len's hand so tightly, but he didn't care, not at all, he more was afraid that Len would somehow disappear before his eyes, and there was nothing he could do about it.

" Stop cryin-ng, Ryotaro... Stop..." Len's voice began to shake as Ryotaro opened his eyes slowly and through the curtain of tears, he could see and felt that Len was panting as the pale figure tried to control his rapid breathing, he looked like he was in a lot of pain.

The pianist held the hand tighter in his own and once again bit his lip and stared wide-eyed at Len, his heart beating stronger and faster like it was going to jump right out of his rib cage. And a little while later, Len's breathing settled down.

" R-Ryotaro, can you do me... two favors?" He finally asked between gasps, looking as worn out and tired like a crumbled piece of paper that people throw away after finding no more value to it.

" Anything."

" Then please... if you can, please, take care of Shuichi for me... Be a good role model for him to follow." Ryotaro nodded, more tears slipping down his eyes. " And one last thing... you, _live_. Live a happy life without doing anything irrational or stupid, okay?" After seeing the nod from the tan, a ' thank you' was whispered as a soft and relieved smile appeared on his lips.

The air was getting chilly as the sound of the beating waves started to get louder. Ryotaro momentarily let go of Len's hand to take off his jacket. Knowing what he was about to do, Len stopped him, but the other shook his head then threw the big jacket over Len's body, acting as a blanket, and he could hear a small sound that came from those pale lips that sounded like the word 'idiot'.

" Hey..." Ryotaro started, wanting get as much as he could out of Len, to listen to that soft voice and let it fill his mind so that he could remember it forever. " Why of all name did you choose 'Yuki'?"

And then Len let out a sudden small chuckle. " It's nothing really." He said, eyes looking out at the dark sea again. " I just... this may sound ridiculous, but it's because of the snowflakes that fall down from the sky when it snowed, they make me feel at ease as they slowly fall down as though they don't have a care in the world, nothing, they are at ease even with the fact that they are going straight down the ground. It makes me feel... sad just looking at how the whiteness of them get tainted as they... meet the ground."

They were both silent, thinking about some unknown things until Ryotaro grabbed Len's hand again and kissed it. " Well, it's a beautiful name, and it suits you."

" Shut up." The violinist said with a small smile. He was quiet for a while then spoke again, this time with a more serious voice. " You know... I know right from the beginning that there was nothing that those doctors could do to save me."

" Why?"

" Because beside the wounds, I..." Len turned as golden eyes were locked together. " I have stomach cancer." His words almost went unheard, and Ryotaro's eyebrows furrowed as his eyes widened.

" Why didn't you tell me?"

" I don't know... I guess... I want to spend the last of my days with you instead of staying in a hospital ward." And he smiled again as though it was the most natural thing in the world...

" You idiot! How can you be so stupid? Len, you-!" Ryotaro shut up, cutting his sentence short then looked away, trying to calm himself down. " Why didn't you tell me?" He spoke again with a much softer voice, he knew that he should be angry, disappointed or something, but... he couldn't bring himself to feel so, not now, not with Len, not with his most beloved person, not in this circumstance, there was nothing else in his heart except for this hopelessness and sorrowful despair.

" I didn't want to worry you." The answer came like a knife, digging deeper into the wounds on his heart then started to rub salt on them.

" And you call me an idiot." This was the only thing he managed to get out of his contracted throat. It hurt just by speaking.

" I guess so." Len said then started laughing a little. The wind was picking up, washing away the violinist's tired laugh, making the both of them shivered as Len coughed, the tempurature was dropping fast. A storm was coming.

" I just wanted to see you happy and be yourself, Ryotaro." He whispered sadly as he felt something warm dripped out of his nose, it was blood, the cold was getting to his already weak body.

" Len!"

" No." The paler man stopped Ryotaro before the tan hand could even begin to wipe the blood away. " Leave it be."

The tan brought Len into his arms and embraced him tightly and sobbed. Len's hand reached out and returned the strong hug then rubbed the shaking back gently, the smell of Ryotaro's own blood and that faint scent of cologne filled his mind for one last time as those pale lips formed a smile. " It's okay. You'll be okay, and I'll be as well, as long as you're happy."

Ryotaro nodded then pulled Len out before kissing him. It came suddenly, but wasn't at all unexpectedb as they kissed each other with the thunders striking over at the horizon and it started to pour. But they didn't care as the kiss slowly deepened, clothes clutching tight to his body and Ryotaro could taste the metallic smell of blood and the heat inside Len's mouth as his hand slided through those soft, wet azure hair.

They parted, panting, and despite the rain, they didn't feel at all that cold like they did before. Staring at each other as their gaze entertwined, Ryotaro's hand slided down to caress Len's pale cheek, looking at Len's beautiful face when the rain washed away all the blood.

" You know, you're always beautiful to me, no matter what kind of circumstance you're in." The tan whispered and let this sudden calmness invaded his aching soul. He realized one thing when they were kissing each other, and it was the fact that Len had opened the door and welcomed him into his heart, letting him feel all of the emotions that the violinist was feeling, it had already been the greatest gift that he could ever ask for. All this time, he didn't even realize how lucky he was, having to see another side of Len that no other had probably ever seen. And it put a smile of happiness on his lips. " I love you, Len."

And Len nodded, happy to see Ryotaro smiling like this. " I love you, too, Ryotaro."

" Hey." Ryotaro called, suddenly remembered what he had been trying to ask Len. He had planned to ask the violinist after he rescued him home, but with all of the things that happened, he forgot. " I have been wanting to ask you this, will you marry me, Len?"

Len laughed as he closed his eyes and nodded softly. " If you want to marry a half-dead man like me, then yes." Len wrapped his arms around the strong shoulders to hug Ryotaro.

" Of course I want to marry you, the rest doesn't matter." Ryotaro could feel Len's warm body brushing against him as those hands weakly held onto him with all that was left inside Len.

" I'm sleepy." He heard Len's voice whispered, hot breath touching and tickling his neck, his heart twisted from within as the sadness returned. It was time.

His hands lay Len back down as that injured head rested on his thighs. " Then sleep, you need it to recover." He said with all of the strength that he could muster to keep that smile on his lips, knowing that Len was happy to see him smile.

" Farewell, Ryotaro." The violinist said and received a shake.

" It's 'later', not 'farewell' because one way or another, we'll meet again. I can guarantee you that."

" How?"

" We'll make it, somehow. I just know that we will, so trust me." He said, holding onto Len's hand, trying to show Len that he was confident of what he was saying and the other nodded.

" I trust you."

" Of course you do. And next time, try to be more honest and share with me everything, okay? You know how much I hate to be left in the dark, right? So be sure remember this, Len."

They both smiled and looked at each other softly as Len nodded, happiness glinting in his eyes as the cold rain washed down at them. Then slowly, Ryotaro watched those tired eyes drooped. He felt like crying all over again, but, instead, he kept smiling, trying to mentain his crooked smile and started rubbing Len's hand gently.

" Goodnight." Len managed to whispered with another smile as those eyes were to the point of closing.

" Yeah, goodnight, Len. I'll see you later in the morning, okay? Till then, sweet dreams, my love."

The smile on those cracked lips widened for a second there and the final breath escaped from him ever so softly.

* * *

_To be continued..._


	22. Final Page: To Morning

_**A/N:**_ Finally, after months of re-writing the chapter over and over again, it is done! I have been searching the ending that would inspire me the most and I've found it I struggled to find the best way to approach the ending I have set up for a long time now, and the other versions of this ending are still there in my files... I haven't erased them, why? I don't know...

Anyways, the biggest thank you and apology to those who have stuck with me till this day. Thank you to those who commented, I love your comments, they have empowered me to follow this through to the end.

I have never thought that this would reach over a hundred comments, it was one of the happiest moments in my life to find that my story reached over 100 comments.

So again, thank you everyone. I'll be seeing you guys again soon enough since it's summer over here already! Yay!

* * *

_**Final Page:**_ ...To Morning

* * *

Night kept flowing, time was flying by like sand slipping out from the gaps between my fingers, softly but continuously, and there was nothing I could do to stop it...

Drowning in this dark sea, I couldn't see anything, couldn't hear anything, couldn't feel anything... My mind was going numb, I knew that, but the only thing that kept playing back and forth was the desire to meet you, even just for one more time... just one more day, one more hour, one more minute to be with you, to be by your side, to stroke your soft blue hair, to kiss your tender lips, to look into those beautiful golden eyes and say that I love you, so, so much...

However, that was the only wish that deep down in my heart, I understood that I couldn't and would never be able to fulfill. Because you were gone, forever gone from my side...

Choking, I coughed but no sound came out from my scratchy throat as my burning lungs screamed for air, natural instinct told me to get myself out of here, but I couldn't... all senses were gone from this heavy body of mine as it kept on sinking lower and lower into the dark space beneath...

Where are you? How can I ever see you again? What can I do to meet you?

Len?

Len?

Please... tell me... because... because I would give everything to meet you, for just one more time, please... tell me... Len...

* * *

" Wak... u. Wake...p. Wake up, Ryotaro!" Someone was calling my name, desperately, such a familiar voice, but I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't even stir, what was going? And suddenly, my shoulder was being shook repeatedly and determinedly, sensation was coming back to my whole being as my eyes jolted opened.

And I was lost in blue... a blue sea and two golden, glinting, beautiful orbs...

" Len..." The name slipped out from my lips naturally as my hand came up to caress his cheek and feel the soft, thin skin beneath my palm. He was there... he was really there! I was really feeling him! The urge to cry was pushed back down my throat as I pulled him into a tight embrace. He was alive... it was a dream... a nightmare... just a horrible nightmare that my tired mind had created to deceive me. Yes... just a nightmare...

" Hey... what's wrong?" His gentle voice and warm breath touched my ear. " You're acting strange..." He spoke with such a soft voice as it was cloaked with this genuine concern, he was worried about me. I shook my head and held him closer and tighter to me, feeling his heart beating against my chest, breathing in his familiar scent that I suddenly yearned for so much.

" No... everything is fine... as long as you're here with me." I whispered reassuringly into his ear and felt as he nuzzled his head to the crook of my neck, resting comfortly on me.

" That's good to hear..."

* * *

Pushing him against the wall, warm sprays of water softly touched the skin on my back as I kissed him passionately, hands caressing the strong line of his jaw as my tongue found its way into his mouth, feeling his finely shaped rows of teeth and the intense heat that was there, burning up along with his body that was pressing against mine.

" This wasn't what I had in mind when I told you to get into the shower..." He whispered breathlessly as we broke the kiss, cheeks turning pink, either due to the lack of air or this heat that was rising, not just from the shower.

" Yeah, I love you, too. Can't wait to taste what you had made for me, either."

He frowned at the tease, not because that he didn't like what we were doing, that I knew for a fact, but because he was embarrassed that he had made something for me to eat, he had never been that much of a great cook, despite knowing how to make some relatively basic dishes... he still... was not so great at it.

I smiled, but of course, this was one of the reason why I loved him so, so much.

* * *

" Okay... How did you manage to do all of this in such a short time?" I looked at the set of a Japanese traditional breakfast being laid out in front of me, feeling very much puzzled.

" By getting up early?" He replied in a tone that seemed as though this was a perfectly normal thing, which to me, it wasn't.

Len sat down to the seat next to me, his usual seat, golden orbs looking at me attentively, blinking every now and then, asking me to eat his food and give comment about it without even needing to ask. Of course, I understood his message completely and dug in happily. It wasn't every day that I got to eat such a feast like this.

* * *

Chopin had always been an inspiration as my fingers danced above the keys, playing one of his song happily, it felt good just being able to play music like this, I knew he was watching me, Len had always sat there and watched me play for quite a while now, always with such adoring eyes that he hadn't even realized it himself that he was looking at me in such a way. But I didn't think that I would tell him that any time soon though, I wanted to be able to actually see that look on him every single day.

I opened my eyes and turned to where I knew he would be sitting and our eyes met as a soft smile broke on his wonderful lips that surprised me somewhat for its appearance there. But the surprise soon wore off as returned him a smile of my own.

* * *

I didn't dare move because I knew that Len was a very light sleeper, just one small stir, he could wake up and would never lie down again in the same afternoon, he was like that, stubborn as always while denying the fact that he had fallen asleep with his head resting on my arm. But honestly, I didn't see a problem with that, he had always been like that, so I just left it be, beside, it was cute having him blushed somewhat while trying to deny everything and turned away. Yeah, it was quite an interesting scene every time I saw it.

After finished playing a few piano songs, having Len not in the mood to actually have a duet with me, which was quite a bummer, we decided to get back to our room and rest up for the afternoon. And while reading a book, it suddenly came to me that the stress on my forearm increased considerably as it sank down to the soft mattress beneath and when I turned to look, I saw that his eyes were already closed and fluttered softly as those long and thick eyelashes touched his smooth skin much like a butterfly flapping its delicated wings.

The soft yellow sunlight beamed softly through the window curtains as it brushed against his skin gently and it almost seemed like he was, somewhat, glowing under the light. I smiled, feeling so happy inside. Len was relaxed, I could tell not just by the soft look on his face, but because he was comfortable enough to actually fall asleep on my forearm, and it wasn't something that would happen every day, and I was very happy and content with everything like this. But of course I would, I mean, Len meant the world to me, and I would do anything for him so that things could stay like this forever.

Yeah...

That would be nice...

* * *

Something warm was moving, closer and closer to me. Something warm and soft... and had a very gentle scent.

My eyes fluttered opened and everything around me blended into a blur... but there was one thing that could never be just a background, the soft blue head pressing against my chest...

Suddenly, all the traces of sleep were gone from my head as my eyes looked back down, was it me or was Len... snuggling against me...?

I was a complete loss for words as I stared at the top of his visible blue head. This was... new... He had never snuggled before... and I meant never... it was either that I pulled him closer, or I got closer to him. And that was it.

I swallowed, my heart, awkwardly, sped up as my arm around him tightened, and consciously or not, I could feel his fingers against my chest tightened as well, as if holding on, as if... pulling me closer, telling me that it was... okay... okay to be holding him in my arms like this, everything was okay...

And suddenly, I didn't want to ever, ever let go of him.

* * *

Dark at night, the moon beamed down it silver beams from outside as they slipped into the room through the thin curtains. Already fallen asleep, but suddenly, something moved as I opened my eyes to look and everything was blurry, the only thing that I could see was his back, facing me, he was sitting up... why?

" Len...?" I called out his name. " What's wrong?" The room's air was chilly, the tempareture had dropped considerably since that evening, I wonder why.

He turned back to look at me without saying a word as his hand went up, pointing towards the windows as I followed his direction to find that snow was falling outside, slowing covering the balcony and everything else with a thin layer of white. My eyes widened... it wasn't supposed to be snowing, not at this time of the year... right? Suddenly, I didn't actually remember what month it was, it completely slipped out of my mind as I frantically searched for the table calendar on the nightstand, but it wasn't there anymore... Where was it? I remembered specifically putting it there... right? I did put it there, didn't I?

I was utterly confused and starting to panick somewhat, what was going on? My mind was racing, in search for an appropriate answer to this, but before I could reach any conclusion, something touched my hand as I looked up to find Len looking at me intently with those gentle eyes as he tugged at my hand softly, signaling me to follow him.

Climbing out of the bed, he gave me my coat that somehow he had prepared and made me put it on before opening the window.

" Why aren't you putting on anything warmer?" I stopped him as soon as the cold piercing air rushed inside the room, I could literally feel the cold despite wearing an extra layer.

He was quiet for a few seconds before replying something that I didn't exactly expect. " Being near you is warm enough."

And before I could actually readjust myself, being dumbfounded by his answer, he had already pulled me out as we stepped out to the balcony outside. The white flakes where slowly and softly falling from the above sky, the Moon could still be seen, shining on the navy blue sky among the grey clouds... Everything was gently getting covered with snow and the scenery from here looked like a painting I once saw long ago...

Len smiled widely in delight as his golden orbs took in the view from here, a soft cold breeze blew, ruffling his hair slightly.

It was such a magnificent picture... yeah, it certainly was...

And suddenly, he turned around and looked at me. " I'm cold... hold me..." A smile tugged at his lips as I opened my arms and pulled him tight into my embrace. His hands were placed on my back as his fingers held tightly and desperately onto the fabric of my coat as he buried his face into my chest.

" We should get back inside." I told him, not really knowing what to do other than to rub his back gently. But he shook his head, refusing to go in, which was something I didn't understand but otherwise didn't say anything to object this as we stood there, holding onto each other tightly under the falling snow.

" Ryotaro?" His voice whispered softly as his warm breath could be felt through my shirt.

" Uh huh?"

" Please... don't be sad when I die okay?"

My eyes widened as everything I had been doing up until the moment those words escaped his lips came to a halt... what did he just say?

" What are you..."

" This is the first and last time this will happen..."

" Len! What are you saying?" I shouted, trying to straighten things out because he was talking about things I didn't understand!

" Ryotaro... I... I died... Those guys hit me on the head, I lost too much blood, so... I died." He took hold of my hand and placed it on one side of his head. " See? It's the remain of the impact..." Underneath that soft blue hair, something... something stood out, a gash... a long and deep gash... " It was you who had cleaned the wound for me..."

_Then suddenly, all he could see was blue, the blue shade of Len's hair. The pale color of that of the violinist's neck._

_The sickening sound of metal crushing against bones as it made a loud 'crack', and, suddenly, the door being busted opened as police poured in. And there he saw Kahoko, then she screamed._

_After that, all he could see was crimson and some kind liquid splashed to his face as it dripped down his skin, hot and sticky._

_And slowly, Ryotaro's eyes widened when everything was clouded and all that he could see was the fact that Len was falling to the ground and there was blood... blood was flowing out from a big gash on his head and it was starting to flow all over the floor._

" _LEN!"_

I had never felt so dizzy before, dizzy and nauseous. Taking a step backward, what did I just see? My fingers traced the place on my face where I thought something had landed, and for a flash of a second there, I thought I saw crimson blood dripping down my hand... but after blinking frantically, it disappeared, it wasn't there anymore...

Looking up at him with widened eyes, I swallowed the lump inside my tightening throat as a shuddered breath escaped my lips. The sound of my own cracked and torn voice shouting out his name desperately was still ringing in my ears...

And it wasn't cold anymore.

" What... what's the meaning of this...?" Was all that I managed to croak out.

His eyes didn't meet mine as they kept on staring at the ground below. " I'm sorry... I didn't mean... didn't want to remind you about this, not now, not ever... but I can't. I am doing something very risky... and if I don't wake you up now..." And the sentence was left hanging as his voice shook and choked.

His eyes were still there, gluing to the ground, but something was flowing out... droplets and droplets of tears rolled out from his eyes as they continuously fell down onto the ground and shattered like broken glass as his shoulders shook.

My mind hadn't registered what was going yet, I still couldn't fully comprehend what was happening, but still, seeing him crying like this was the only thing that I couldn't stand as I once again pulled him into my embrace.

He cried and cried as I could feel the heat of those hot tears on my shoulder, sipping through the fabric.

" I know... I shouldn't have done this... but seeing you like that... I can't... I can't just leave... I'm sorry... All this nonesense is just hurting you even more. I'm so sorry Ryotaro..."

_The pianist yelled at the top of his lungs and tried to get out of his friends' grasps, tears flowing out of his eyes as he reached out his hand. Ryotaro sank down on his knees and used his hands to hold his forehead, yanking his hair out, shoulders shaking uncontrollably._

_Then suddenly, the yelling stopped as he looked up to see one of the doctor looking back at him. They were silent and the moment when that person in white shook his head, Ryotaro felt as though his heart had skipped a beat as he looked back at Len instantly, feeling the beating chamber inside his chest throbbed, and the tears were welling up again._

_The pianist ran as fast as he could to reach the required destination while checking up on Len constantly, making sure that he was still there._

_And every time he looked down, he saw those worn out golden eyes looked back at him, smiling warmly with those blood-stained lips._

" _Hey." Ryotaro called, suddenly remembered what he had been trying to ask Len. He had planned to ask the violinist after he rescued him home, but with all of the things that happened, he forgot._

" _I have been wanting to ask you this, will you marry me, Len?"_

" _If you want to marry a half-dead man like me, then yes."_

_..._

" _I'm sleepy."_

" _Then sleep, you need it to recover."_

" _Farewell, Ryotaro."_

" _It's 'later', not 'farewell' because one way or another, we'll meet again. I can guarantee you that."_

_..._

Everything was coming back to me, piece by piece as the memories kept on rushing back into my numbing mind and with each flash, my arms around him tightened more and more. Ahh, the pain remained the same, unchanged and it felt as though those wounds I had felt were being torn opened once more, but much, much more gentle this time...

" I just didn't want to see you tormenting yourself like that anymore... you needed to stop what you were doing, and I had to do it..." Len's soft whispers poured into my ear as I let myself drown in his soft voice and scent. I'm going to miss this so very much...

" Shh, it's okay... Don't say sorry. I'm glad that you have done this, I get to spend one more day with you, and that's enough for me... But, truth to be told, I should be the one to say sorry, I didn't keep our promise... I in turn worried you and made you come back for me like this... I'm sorry, Len."

Our eyes were locked to each other, we finally shared our final kiss, heated, passionate and salty as these tears that were coming out from his and my own eyes trickled down... Slowly parting, not even once breaking eye contact as I used my thumb to wipe away the tears on his eyes.

" You have done so much for me... I guess it's time for me to let you go..." I whispered as he leaned onto my touch and shook his head.

" That should be my line, Ryotaro... But like you said... We'll be seeing each other again... right?"

I couldn't help but smiled sadly and nodded my head. " Yeah, we will. If you're not tired of me that is."

I leaned forward as our forehead touched softly, fingers slowly lacing together as I could feel his heat transferring over to me...

" Never." The warmth of his forehead that was touching mine was loosing. " Don't ever do that again, you hear me?" His voice was strong and determined, almost sounded like scolding as I nodded my head.

" I won't."

" Good."

And slowly, Len started to fade away with a gentle and content smile on his lips, the wind blew and much like sand, he was slipping out of my hands, there was nothing I could do to stop it...

* * *

" Tsuch...ur! Tsuchiura. Tsuchiura!" Everything was white, swirly, my head swam and my body ached dully.

Opening my eyes wearily, I didn't know where I was or how did I get here, just that there were many people, at that moment, surrounding me and they were calling out my name desperately, my ears were buzzing with their voices, but it wasn't at all that uncomfortable as all the commotion somewhat died down, in my mind that is, when I struggled to sit up but in vain. Why did I feel so weak?

My hands twitched, and suddenly my entire body felt very much strange as though something was missing. Lifting up my hands as I stared at them, the image of Len slipping away rushed back into my mind as a great sense of pain twisted my heart. And it wasn't until several seconds later that I realized the layers of white bandages resigning on my left wrist.

What...?

" _I know... I shouldn't have done this... but seeing you like that... I can't... I can't just leave... I'm sorry... All this nonesense is just hurting you even more. I'm so sorry Ryotaro..."_

" _I just didn't want to see you tormenting yourself like that anymore... you needed to stop what you were doing, and I had to do it..."_

Len's words came back to me, ever so softly as I then finally understood why he had done that, what he had been trying to do...

My eyes stung as I bit down on my lower lip and used my palms to cover up the tears that were slowly flowing out from my eyes. He was worried about me, that was why he came back, how could I have done such a shameful thing?

But, oh God, he didn't deserve to die... no, not at all...

* * *

I didn't exactly remember how it came to this, me in a hospital, just a few fragments here and there. After Len had closed his eyes, I brought him back to our house and started cleaning his wounds and called the funeral service, if he died, then he needed to have the best possible place to lie down, was what I had in mind.

Days went by, Len was already dressed in a neat black kimono that suited him very well as he lay there, eyes closed, seemingly sleeping peacefully... I hoped that you would rest peacefully as well...

Many people went to his funeral as I watched them cried, morned, and prayed while sitting over on the left side of the room, feeling ever so numb inside with this dull pain aching in every single cell of this body.

And after Len's burial, I stayed behind for a long time after all the others had gone home, looking, staring at his tomb stone, at the burning incense, at the flowers that looked so ugly and sad in a way that I had very much wanted to squish them in my hands and plug out all the petals before throwing them away. But of course, I didn't do any of that but kept on standing there, looking at unknown things for a long time.

Before I knew it, I was running home, ignoring the car that was left in the parking lots not too far away, rushing home, bursting opened the door then knelt down in front of your altar, looking at your photo that I had put there with you smiling happily in it.

Staring at it made the yearning desire for you that was burning like wild fire inside my soul felt uncontainable and somehow... for some reason, all reasons escaped my mind as I took out a small pocket knife, looking at the cold and shiny new blade, I smiled like a mad man, the only thing that was running through my mind then was the thought of finally seeing you again. Days without you by my side proved to be unbearable, there was no other way...

And so, I cut myself...

The later details were filled in by the others, they found me bleeding profusely in front of your altar and while trying to stop me from bleeding further than I already had, they called for the ambulance. After hours of trying to revive me back to life, I was stable, but otherwise unconscious and like what the doctors had said, I was slipping into a deep coma before suddenly waking up again... miraculously.

On my part, I didn't think that it was a miracle, not at all as I recalled clearly what Len had said before going that he had to wake me up, that was specifically what he had said. You may think that I'm crazy and that I shouldn't hold onto what I had seen, that it was just a dream. Yes, I agreed that it was just a dream, but it was as vivid as real life, he was really there, I had seen him, heard, touched him, embraced him and touched him... He was really there... and it wasn't just my imagination that had made that up because I didn't think that it would be that good and real if it had been...

_Knock. Knock._

" Come in."

The door slid opened, it was Hino, she looked so very pale and tired as she went in and closed the door behind her, it was just her alone with a small brown paper bag in her hand as she sat down onto the metal chair next to my bed and took out a small plate and a knife and started cutting those red and juicy looking apples she brought.

Seeing the sight of the shiny blade that resembled somewhat the one I had used to... I turned away, refusing to look at it, to look at her because of the brewing shame for what I had done, for my own stupidity.

And we sat there in silent, the only sounds that were there was the chirping of the birds outside and Hino's knife as it cut into the apples' flesh. Now that I think about it, ever since the moment I woke up, she had never spoken a single word to me, maybe she was angry...

" Here." Hino set the plate down onto the nightstand, the pieces of apples were cut into the shapes of little rabbits with red ears. I smiled and thanked her, suddenly remembering that Len had never tried this before, he had never been able to handle the knife delicately enough to do this sort of thing, he tried once, and it didn't really turn out that well, resulting a few cuts on his fingers. I fought back the urge to laugh somewhat at the memory of him trying to 'dispose' those... seemingly rabbits slices of apple...

She looked at me, slowly, her eyebrows furrowed. " Why did you do it?" The question came flying out of her mouth, the one that I didn't know how to answer as I stayed quiet and as if reading my thoughts, she continued without waiting for a reply. " Do you how foolish you were? Doing that... do you think that Len will be happy? You have no idea how scared we were when we found you lying on your own pool of blood!"

Tears welled up in tired eyes as they trickled down her cheeks. " How could you have done such a terrible thing? Do you really think that we... I... can take seeing both my best friends leaving in the same week?" Her voice was weak and shaken, she was pretty much hurt by this as she tried to use her hands to wipe away the continuous lines of tears on her face.

I sat there on the bed, sadly watching her tried in vain to stop crying. She was right, I was selfish enough to even think about taking my own lives, I had my family and friends and the whole staff in my company to look out for... and Shuichi as well... and yet...

" I'm sorry, so very sorry, Kahoko. I was wrong to have done that, to have scared you like this... forgive me."

She didn't say anything as she took in deep and shaken breaths to calm herself down and finally managing to stop the tears before looking at me again.

" Sorry..." She whispered. " I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I know that you're sad about what had happened to Len... but..."

" Devastated, Kahoko. I am devastated by his death. But don't worry, I will never try pulling anything like that again, I have made a promise already and I intend to keep it this time around..." I whispered the last sentence softly and suddenlt her eyes widened, seemingly very surprised to have heard that.

" So... it's true then..." The words were barely audible and they confused me much to what was going on.

" What, Kahoko? What are you... implying?" It sounded as though she knew what I meant with my last sentence.

" Ryotaro... there's something that I haven't told not you nor anyone about..." She said with hesitation clearly visible in her voice.

" What is it?"

" I... well... I can see what you call... paranormal things..."

* * *

It was getting dark, Kahoko had left earlier and yet her story was just swimming in my head. She said that she could see paranormal things... not everything, but things with a huge amount of life forces that made them stand out from the crowd... And she said it included Len...

A few days ago, she said, while she was going out to by the groceries she was startled to find Len standing right in front of the store, he had been waiting for her. Coming out of the store, she quickly found a safe and more private place for them to interact. He was saying something, but she couldn't actually hear what it was... his voice's frequency was too low for her normal ears to hear as he began writing on the ground.

_Ryotaro is in danger, help._

Was what he wrote as he pointed at the direction where our house was and that was when Kahoko had tried calling the others, making up an excuse that they should pay me a visit to cheer me up, fearing that her alone wouldn't be much help.

And when they arrived, just in the nick of time, they found me with a cut wrist in front of Len's altar.

After bringing me into the hospital, it wasn't until days later, a little while before I woke up, that she saw Len again, but this time he was very weak, his life force was flickering wildly as he reassured her that everything was fine, and that I had made a promise... And she hadn't seen him since...

I didn't realize... I didn't realize that this life, the reason why I was still alive and sitting here in the recovery ward of the hospital was all thanks to you...

I didn't realize... not until now, that I owed this life to you, Len...

* * *

_New Year's Eve_

* * *

I was discharged out of the hospital without much of a complication and continued on with my business after recruiting a new assistant.

It had been months since that they, that final day when I saw you in my dream for one final time. I had never been able to do that again, to have the privilage of seeing you again in my sleep. But I guess, I had already used up all of my rights to... I mean, with each passing day, the scar on my left wrist wouldn't fade, it was still there and I would like to keep it that way as a reminder to myself of the biggest mistake I had made in my life time. Day by day, I realized more and more that I shouldn't have done that, and now, it hurt more than anything that perhaps because of that, I would never be able to see you again, even in my dreams... Like Kahoko had said, the last time she saw you, your life force was too weak... All because of me...

It hurt, but I knew I shouldn't dwell on it for too long, it was too depressing and I didn't want to waste this life you gave me on thinking such negative thoughts all the time.

Shoving my hands deep into the pockets of my coat, I stood there in the long line of people, waiting for my turn to pray. It was cold as the breaths that escaped my nostrils turned into a thin line of white fog.

The sound of the jingling bell rang above my head as I clapped my hands twice before starting to pray. Pray for health and good fortune to all the people I cared about.

Walking from the line of waiting people, I inhaled a lung-full of fresh and crispy cold air, it would be nice if the People up there would grant my wish, I thought to myself while smiling like an idiot.

" Let's write our prayer here!" The sound of a high-pitch voice of a girl caught my attention as the group of girls started buying for themselves each a wooden tablet. And suddenly, my feet moved towards their direction and, somehow, I found myself buying one as well as the monk happily gave me the blank tablet along with a brush. As I stood there for a long time, thinking about what in the world should I write in here.

" One wish only, sir." The monk told me after watching me trying in vain to think up what to write. " The wish that you would like to be fulfilled most." He said with a small smile as I nodded my head in understanding and thanked him for the advice, since, frankly, I had never done this before.

And all of a sudden, a white snow flake touched my tablet as I looked up with amazement to find that it was snowing so very softly. Somehow... I felt very much warm inside because it was like reliving my most beautiful dream once more. I knew what to write now.

Giving back the monk his brush, I bowed my head before going to the racks to hang up my tablet and clapped my hands twice, wishing that it would somehow come true. Yeah, I would really hope so, I thought to myself then turned to walk away down the stairs, heading back to our house.

_When we meet again, I'll never leave your side, Len._

_Ryotaro._

* * *

_Many, many years later..._

* * *

The cherry blossoms petals were blown away by fresh winds of Spring, the weather was nice most definitely, and so I would rather staying home than going to school... it really was such a waste of a good day. I yawned, thinking lazily to myself as I took my time walking through the school yard when suddenly something, or someone, bumped into me.

It was a red hair woman, she apologized profusely while saying something about how clumpsy she was even on her first day working as the school nurse. Finally, she walked away to the direction of her office after my having told her numerous times that I was fine, unscratched and that she should worry about the bruise on her knee, she was the one who fell down onto the ground despite bumping into me. So that was our new school nurse...

I set my bag down before lying on my desk while listening to music, and suddenly, someone touched me.

" Morning. What're you listening to?" It was one of the new friends I had made, the name still slipped my mind occasionally, like then, all I remembered about him was that he played the flute and had long purple hair that was tied back loosely behind his back.

" Shuichi Tsukimori's violin solos." I told him, fighting back the urge to yawn again.

" Oh? You like his music, huh?"

" Uhm... I think so..." I replied somewhat hesitantly.

" Why so unsure? He was a very good and successful violinist in his time and even till now, his music still warm the heart of thousands."

" I... I don't know... it's more like... he reminds me of someone. But I just don't know why."

" Oh..."

" Like you with that teacher who played the trumpet."

" Huh? What do you mean?" He clearly was surprised by what I said, but I knew he knew what I was talking about.

" Well, you said so yourself that he somehow feels very familiar to you, right? So yeah, I felt the same way also." I smiled cheekily when the guy realized that I was teasing him and told me to stop with a small blush on his face.

" All rise!" The booming sound of the class representative startled me as the whole class stood up, ready to greet our teacher.

It was the familiar kind of feeling that somehow made the birthmark of what seemed like a scar on my left wrist twitched unconsciously, like chemicals reacting to each other when, even at the back of my class, I could see that blue shade of hair came in through the door, pale skin and golden eyes looking at us.

" You homeroom teacher, Mr. Tanaka, has retired. And so from today onward, I will be your new homeroom teacher." The same deep and soft voice was ringing inside my ears.

Was this a dream?

I didn't think so... it wasn't right? Because I could feel the tugging on my sleeve as my friend tried telling me to sit down when I was the only one still standing in the class, staring at our new teacher.

Hot tears trickled down my eyes as they dropped down one after the other onto my clenched hands.

" I've found you... Len."

_Our promise came true._

* * *

_The end._


End file.
